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***** JOKES *****


Chirupanjee
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SCREWED

******


A young man was in town looking for a little something from the ladies. A cab driver gave him an address and told him he could find anything he wanted there.

When the young man arrived, he saw a door with a small panel on it. He knocked and the panel slid open. A female voice asked what he wanted.

"I want to get screwed," said the man.

"OK, but this is a private club. Slide twenty bucks in the slot as an initiation fee," answered the voice.

The man slid twenty dollars in the slot, the panel closed, and ten minutes passed. Nothing happened.

He began to pound on the door, and the panel slid open.

"Hey," exclaimed the man, "I want to get screwed!"

"What?" said the voice, "Again?"


@3$% @3$% @3$%

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WHO'S THE *****?


A man named Mike went over to his friend's house and rang the bell. His friend's wife, Nora, answered the door.

"Hi, is Tony home?" he asked her.

"No, he went to the store."

"Well, you mind if I wait?"

"No, come on in."

They sat down and shortly Mike said, "You know, Nora, you have the greatest breasts I have ever seen. I'd give you a hundred bucks if I could see just one."

Nora thought about this for a second, and thought about how badly they needed the money right now. She opened her robe and exposed one. Mike promptly thanked her and put $100 on the table.

They sat there a while longer, and Mike said, "They are so beautiful! I'd love to see the both of them. I'll give you another 100 bucks if I could just see both of them together."

Nora thought about this for a moment, then opened her robe and gave Mike a nice big look. Mike thanked her and threw another $100 on the table. Then he said he couldn't wait any longer for Tony and left.

A while later, Tony arrived and Nora said, "You know, your weird friend Mike came over while you were gone."

Tony turned and said, "Good. Did he drop off the $200 he owed me?"


@3$% @3$% @3$%

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12 MORE MINUTES...

***************


A policeman was patrolling near midnight at a local parking spot overlooking a golf course. He drove by a car and saw a couple inside with the light on.

The policeman walked over to the car where he saw young man in the driver's seat reading a computer magazine and a young lady in the back seat calmly knitting.

He stopped to investigate. He walked up to the driver's window and knocked. The young man looked up, cracked the window and said, "Yes, officer?"

"What are you doing?" the policeman asked.

"What does it look like?" answered the young man. "I'm reading this magazine."

Pointing towards the young lady in the back seat, the officer then asked, "And what is she doing?"

The young man looked over his shoulder and replied, "I think she is knitting a sweater."

Confused, the officer asked, "How old are you young man?"

"I'm nineteen," he replied.

"And how old is she?" asked the officer.

The young man looked at his watch and said, "Well, in about twelve minutes she'll be eighteen."


@3$% @3$% @3$%

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A TIGHT ASS?

***********


There was a couple who were big over-spenders. They always dreamed to spend holidays in Hawaii, but were never able to save any money to do so. One day they came up with an idea--each time they had sex, they would put $20.00 bill into a piggy bank.

They bought the piggy, and followed that procedure for about a year. After that time, they decided that there was enough money for their dream vacation and broke the piggy bank. The husband looked at their savings and said: "Isn't it strange. Each time we had sex, I put $20.00 into the piggy. But I see tons of $50.00 bills and a few $100.00 bills."

The wife replied, "Do you think that everybody is as stingy as you are?"


@3$% @3$% @3$%

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A TIGHT ASS?

***********


There was a couple who were big over-spenders. They always dreamed to spend holidays in Hawaii, but were never able to save any money to do so. One day they came up with an idea--each time they had sex, they would put $20.00 bill into a piggy bank.

They bought the piggy, and followed that procedure for about a year. After that time, they decided that there was enough money for their dream vacation and broke the piggy bank. The husband looked at their savings and said: "Isn't it strange. Each time we had sex, I put $20.00 into the piggy. But I see tons of $50.00 bills and a few $100.00 bills."

The wife replied, "Do you think that everybody is as stingy as you are?"


@3$% @3$% @3$%

now this makes us to come here daily..n check out d updates..

gud stuff Chiru :) ..appreciate bro

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An Indian and an American are seated next to each other on a flight from

Los Angeles to New York. The American asks if he would

like to play a fun-game.

The Indian, tired, just wants to take a nap, so he politely declines and

rolls over to the window to catch a few winks.

The American persists and explains that the game is easy

and a lot of fun.

He says, "I ask you a question, and if you don't know the answer, you

pay

me $5, and vice versa."

Again, the Indian declines and tries to get some sleep.

The American, now worked up, says, "Okay, if you don't know the answer,

you

pay me $5, and if I don't know the answer, I'll pay you $500."

This gets the Indian's attention and, figuring there will be no end to

this

torment, agrees to the game.

The American asks the first question, "What's the distance from the

earth

to the moon?"

The Indian doesn't say a word, reaches into his wallet, pulls out a $5

bill

and hands it to the American.

"Okay," says the American, "Your turn."

So the Indian asks, "What goes up a hill with three legs and comes down

with four legs?"

The American thinks about it. No answer.

Puzzled, he takes out his laptop computer and searches

all his references. No answer!

He taps into the air-phone with his modem and searches

the Internet and the Library of Congress. No answer.

Frustrated, he sends e-mails to all his friends and

co-workers.

Checks the input. All to no avail!

Finally, a long time later, he wakes the Indian and hands him $500.

The Indian thanks him and turns back to get his sleep.

The American, more than a little miffed, stirs the Indian and asks,

"Well, what's the answer?"

Without a word, the Indian reaches into his purse, hands the American

$5,

and goes back to sleep!

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