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Flight tickets for parents issue


problem

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32 minutes ago, problem said:

hi, i want to discuss one topic, want to know if i am correct or not........my sister stays in uk and i stay in usa......sister ki 4 year old kid unnadu......parents went to uk together 3 times ....sister and brother in law both are working in good jobs......but, all the 3 times, i booked the flight tickets for my parents......basically the purpose of the visit is to take care of the kid in summer, because summer season lo day care ki kids evvaru raru anta and sister asked parents to come to uk.......naaku anipinchindi, when parents are visting to help sister and bro in law in looking after the kid, then why i have to book the flight tickets for parents........because both sister and bro in law are working....but idhi eppudu kuda sister tho analedhu nenu.........indantha ipoyindi, again recently in 2018 august, sister asked parents to come to uk, same scenario, summer lo kid ni chusukovataniki......maa father nenu vellanu annaru, so only mom went this year for  6 weeks ......this is the only time i didn't booked flight ticket for my mom to uk........maa father has struggled a bit in managing food and all back in india......maa mother tho kopanga annanu, they shd manage by themselves kada, enduku prathi sari velthavu and that too father ki cooking radhu, so food adhi kashtam ayyindi and i told to my mom that they are using you by calling you every summer and making you to do all things lyk cooking, washing utensils, laundry things and all work etc......my mom told to my sister that i commented this words that they are using you for all these things by calling parents to uk.......maa sister ki picha kopam vachindi on that using word and told me that i would have commented even more if i would have booked the flight ticket to my mom.........nenu silent ga unna, i wonder how come my sister completely forgot that it is me who booked the flight tickets for my parents on the previous 3 ocasions and e okkasari matrame she booked it......

 

motham explain chesanu........now please let me know on this couple of things if i am correct or wrong.......1) i thought why i should book flight tickets for parents for their visit to sisters place to help them, am i right or wrong on this? 

2) am i wrong in commenting this to my mom, that they are using my mom to do all the work even when the kid is 4 yrs old, and my sister's family has to manage the things and not calling parents everytime?

 

 

 

 

This is very sensitive topic bro.. in my opinion - you need to set expectation in lyf - otherwise, it's a problem.  It surely happened in your case I guess.  Did you volunteered to pay for their tickets when they went last three times?  if yes, that's a bad start.  You still will be able to come out - but, no one likes you being sudden back-out. Instead, come out slowly.  May be next time, when they are planning for the trip - tell them you lost job (or something like that) to lower that expectation and it's a good start.  Always remember, however close you are to your mom - she is one step closer to your sister ;) (it's hard truth and it need to be accepted) and being said that, you should never told your mom that "they are using you" and the next minute you put down the phone, that information went to your sister in this case.  Apologize to her saying "you were busy with work and didn't knew what you were talking due to stress" and then build things from there.  

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1 minute ago, trent said:

cool. u did right thing by saying to u r mom and conveyed to u r sis. money or anything clear ga matladukodam better. adapillalu ekaadiki puttinti nunchi tesukelli mogudiki pedadama ani chustaru mostly. i think u r single right? general ga wife vunte valle deal chestaru ilanti matters. valla dealings baguntay :giggle:

i am married 2 yrs back bro......3 times parents trip lo, 2 times i booked the tickets when i am bachelor.....okasari matrame when i am married.....maa wife asalu ivanni emi pattinchukodhu......

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2 minutes ago, problem said:

i am married 2 yrs back bro......3 times parents trip lo, 2 times i booked the tickets when i am bachelor.....okasari matrame when i am married.....maa wife asalu ivanni emi pattinchukodhu......

glad tht u got good understanding wife then

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2 minutes ago, neekunuvvetopu said:

This is very sensitive topic bro.. in my opinion - you need to set expectation in lyf - otherwise, it's a problem.  It surely happened in your case I guess.  Did you volunteered to pay for their tickets when they went last three times?  if yes, that's a bad start.  You still will be able to come out - but, no one likes you being sudden back-out. Instead, come out slowly.  May be next time, when they are planning for the trip - tell them you lost job (or something like that) to lower that expectation and it's a good start.  Always remember, however close you are to your mom - she is one step closer to your sister ;) (it's hard truth and it need to be accepted) and being said that, you should never told your mom that "they are using you" and the next minute you put down the phone, that information went to your sister in this case.  Apologize to her saying "you were busy with work and didn't knew what you were talking due to stress" and then build things from there.  

i already started exactly what you told bro.......2 mths back mom ki flight ticket gurinchi asalu i didn't talked anything at all, asalu emi matladaledhu and my sister booked the flight ticket for my mom........ika used anna word ki nijanga i felt lyk that, sister anindi inka nenu flight ticket book chesunte inka enni anevadini anna mata koncham badhanipinchindi kani, i didn't told to my sister that plz remember who booked their tickets in the previous ocasions......nenu a mata anunte inka kopam vachesi kuda.....i just said sorry, anthe.....

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11 minutes ago, problem said:

i already started exactly what you told bro.......2 mths back mom ki flight ticket gurinchi asalu i didn't talked anything at all, asalu emi matladaledhu and my sister booked the flight ticket for my mom........ika used anna word ki nijanga i felt lyk that, sister anindi inka nenu flight ticket book chesunte inka enni anevadini anna mata koncham badhanipinchindi kani, i didn't told to my sister that plz remember who booked their tickets in the previous ocasions......nenu a mata anunte inka kopam vachesi kuda.....i just said sorry, anthe.....

cool.. hope your dad is on your side ;).. then, you can work things from that side as in "it's difficult for me once you leave" ani cheppinchu dad tho mom ki.  They have been together long time than you, so - things work out better from that end.  And you need not to bring up this topic again as in, I paid for twice.. it's more like penam meeda ninchi lopala padatame.. 😂

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as a side note.. lot of folks do not have any clue about setting expectations for family members.  I see lot of my friends spoil folks back home with too much stuff as they go overboard and later can not control things.

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Asalu nee actual problem sariga comvey avvaledu

Nuvvu tkts book chesinanduku feel avuthunnava leka mee mother ni work kosam uk pilipinchukuntunnarani feel avuthunnava?

Tkts ayithe you can directly talk to ur sister, db lo discuss cheste emostadi.

Work kosam ayithe, usually mothers kids andarini okelaaga chustaru. Evaru ibbandi padina thattukoleru and thana vanthuga entho kontha help avvataniki try chestaru and more over they will get relaxed with grand children. Magallaki emundi bayataki pothe sava lalsha panulu untay easy ga tp ayithadi kaani ladies ki alaa kaadu ga. 

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1) akka, paisal ki ibandhi ga undhi, can you book this time?

2) akka, amma ki ibandhi ga undhi, it's better to send kid to India.

Ila chepthe ayipothadhi. Don't do panchayithi about family problems v learn to communicate and stand up for yourself. Good luck!

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1 hour ago, problem said:

hi, i want to discuss one topic, want to know if i am correct or not........my sister stays in uk and i stay in usa......sister ki 4 year old kid unnadu......parents went to uk together 3 times ....sister and brother in law both are working in good jobs......but, all the 3 times, i booked the flight tickets for my parents......basically the purpose of the visit is to take care of the kid in summer, because summer season lo day care ki kids evvaru raru anta and sister asked parents to come to uk.......naaku anipinchindi, when parents are visting to help sister and bro in law in looking after the kid, then why i have to book the flight tickets for parents........because both sister and bro in law are working....but idhi eppudu kuda sister tho analedhu nenu.........indantha ipoyindi, again recently in 2018 august, sister asked parents to come to uk, same scenario, summer lo kid ni chusukovataniki......maa father nenu vellanu annaru, so only mom went this year for  6 weeks ......this is the only time i didn't booked flight ticket for my mom to uk........maa father has struggled a bit in managing food and all back in india......maa mother tho kopanga annanu, they shd manage by themselves kada, enduku prathi sari velthavu and that too father ki cooking radhu, so food adhi kashtam ayyindi and i told to my mom that they are using you by calling you every summer and making you to do all things lyk cooking, washing utensils, laundry things and all work etc......my mom told to my sister that i commented this words that they are using you for all these things by calling parents to uk.......maa sister ki picha kopam vachindi on that using word and told me that i would have commented even more if i would have booked the flight ticket to my mom.........nenu silent ga unna, i wonder how come my sister completely forgot that it is me who booked the flight tickets for my parents on the previous 3 ocasions and e okkasari matrame she booked it......

 

motham explain chesanu........now please let me know on this couple of things if i am correct or wrong.......1) i thought why i should book flight tickets for parents for their visit to sisters place to help them, am i right or wrong on this? 

2) am i wrong in commenting this to my mom, that they are using my mom to do all the work even when the kid is 4 yrs old, and my sister's family has to manage the things and not calling parents everytime?

 

 

 

 

every body move to india and live happily

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