I'll share an experience with a lady who is part of this group

[kevinUsa]

Long post warning ⚠️ 

 

I'll share an experience with a lady who is part of this group. I won't name her or even throw a hint of her identity for obvious reasons.

 

In Feb 2023, I connected with her in a Matrimonial site. Let's call her ZZ (not her initials). We talked for a few days but I could sense her interest fading in me. I asked her what was the reason and and after some hesitancy, she told me that I was not the kind of person she was looking for.

 

I respected her judgement but because I liked her, the next day I texted her saying that I sincerely hoped her preferences change soon and that I was willing to wait for that to happen. She gave me a call, appreciated me for honestly expressing myself, and I used that opportunity to re-iterate that I liked her and I really wanted the connection to materialize into a successful marriage. We ended the call with smiles but I did not receive any further messages from her (until yesterday). 

 

After waiting a few weeks for her calls/messages, I understood the signal and decided to not bother her again, unless she wished to reconnect. I deleted her number, as I did with every other failed matrimonial connection. We both had the option to connect through FB/LinkedIn even after deleting the numbers, but we maintained distance. I don't know why she did that, but I did that because I didn't want her to think that I am one of those men who don't understand the meaning of "No."

 

A few months later, I met the best human this universe could have made. I fell in love with her, we got married in January and she's the main reason I am writing this post. 

 

I finally received a message from ZZ yesterday. I recognized her from her DP but she didn't know about my marriage. I was actually surprised she still had my number after 16+ months of zero communication. 

 

She started with basic hi, how are you questions. I didn't want to elongate the conversation so I started by saying that I am fine and living with my wife in the east coast. She immediately called me and for the next few mins she said some bad things to me about how I made fake promises of waiting for her, and expressed fake love to her. I didn't say anything in response, partly because she did a surprise attack and my brain wasn't ready for her verbal shelling, partly because I wanted the call to end, partly because I was trying to remember when exactly I had made a "promise" or "commitment", and most importantly because I can't even easily talk back to women, let alone engaging in an aggressive exchange.

 

Just to clarify the last sentence, I am not a Sharif/good person. I am weak and deeply flawed, and everytime I have escalated a fight, I have done/said things to the other person that I still regret, so I avoid getting into fights altogether. 

 

But because I didn't say anything, I was hurting from inside. Later my wife saw me sulking and asked me the reason. I told her everything. She already knew about her and about my crushes, one sided loves, failed matrimonial connections, etc because she's a great listener and I love telling her my life stories.

 

My wife was furious at ZZ for talking to me like that and she wanted to call her and respond in the same tone in which ZZ talked to me. I told her to calm down but she told me to atleast write her a message demanding an apology. 

 

I am not going to write her any personal messages. But I know that ZZ is one of many people who probably feel/behave the same way as she did. So here's my response to all those people and I hope ZZ reads this as well. 

 

1) Thank you for not accepting me last year, otherwise I would have never connected with my wife and I wouldn't have had such a lovely life. I am not taunting you, I genuinely mean it. If you find a great husband, you can thank me for not simping over you long enough. 

 

2) Yes, I agree that I told you that I was willing to wait but I don't remember making a promise or commitment, but even if I did make a promise, no relationship ever works if it's one sided. For you to expect that someone would honor their commitment, you must do your part in making them feel secured. You cannot expect someone to wait for you for eterninty while you keep looking for other options. If you were not looking for other options, then you should have tried to keep me assured. 

 

3) You blamed me for not messaging you for the last 16 months and for not informing you that I got married. You didn't message me either. As I mentioned before, I didn't msg you because most women don't like getting messaged by the person she has said no to, and I believe the information about my marriage was of no use to you.

 

4) I am for making you believe that I was going to wait for you for eterninty, but I repeat I never said that I'll wait forever. Even if that were true, any person(man or woman) who gives an eternal one sided commitment to a person who doesn't even reciprocate is a person with extreme low self-esteem and self-worth. You must avoid marrying such a person in any case.

 

5) For your own good, even when angry, pls avoid using abusive language ( giving gaali) to a man. Men can say some very vulgar things and stoop very low. Not every exchange will go the same way as the one between us.

 

6) (This one is to acknowledge the value of my wife, so that she feels happy and forgives her.)

Not just men, even women can be way more aggressive than you think. Yes, some men will be gentle with you despite your verbal abuse, but such men are not always alone. If this exchange happened face-to-face and my wife was there, she would have shown you the right place. Be smart, avoid rubbing people the wrong way.

 

ZZ - I will not reveal your identity ever. Even this post is anonymous because I think your roommates and Maasi know me, but If you feel I misrepresented you any way, you can call me directly show me all the attempts you made in the last 16 months. I will write an apology post in that case and I WON'T be anonymous in that apology post.

 

Once again, ZZ is not her initials. Any resemblance is purely coincidental.

[Kakynada]

grete 

[Prasadgeek33]

18 minutes ago, kevinUsa said:

Long post warning ⚠️ 

 

I'll share an experience with a lady who is part of this group. I won't name her or even throw a hint of her identity for obvious reasons.

 

In Feb 2023, I connected with her in a Matrimonial site. Let's call her ZZ (not her initials). We talked for a few days but I could sense her interest fading in me. I asked her what was the reason and and after some hesitancy, she told me that I was not the kind of person she was looking for.

 

I respected her judgement but because I liked her, the next day I texted her saying that I sincerely hoped her preferences change soon and that I was willing to wait for that to happen. She gave me a call, appreciated me for honestly expressing myself, and I used that opportunity to re-iterate that I liked her and I really wanted the connection to materialize into a successful marriage. We ended the call with smiles but I did not receive any further messages from her (until yesterday). 

 

After waiting a few weeks for her calls/messages, I understood the signal and decided to not bother her again, unless she wished to reconnect. I deleted her number, as I did with every other failed matrimonial connection. We both had the option to connect through FB/LinkedIn even after deleting the numbers, but we maintained distance. I don't know why she did that, but I did that because I didn't want her to think that I am one of those men who don't understand the meaning of "No."

 

A few months later, I met the best human this universe could have made. I fell in love with her, we got married in January and she's the main reason I am writing this post. 

 

I finally received a message from ZZ yesterday. I recognized her from her DP but she didn't know about my marriage. I was actually surprised she still had my number after 16+ months of zero communication. 

 

She started with basic hi, how are you questions. I didn't want to elongate the conversation so I started by saying that I am fine and living with my wife in the east coast. She immediately called me and for the next few mins she said some bad things to me about how I made fake promises of waiting for her, and expressed fake love to her. I didn't say anything in response, partly because she did a surprise attack and my brain wasn't ready for her verbal shelling, partly because I wanted the call to end, partly because I was trying to remember when exactly I had made a "promise" or "commitment", and most importantly because I can't even easily talk back to women, let alone engaging in an aggressive exchange.

 

Just to clarify the last sentence, I am not a Sharif/good person. I am weak and deeply flawed, and everytime I have escalated a fight, I have done/said things to the other person that I still regret, so I avoid getting into fights altogether. 

 

But because I didn't say anything, I was hurting from inside. Later my wife saw me sulking and asked me the reason. I told her everything. She already knew about her and about my crushes, one sided loves, failed matrimonial connections, etc because she's a great listener and I love telling her my life stories.

 

My wife was furious at ZZ for talking to me like that and she wanted to call her and respond in the same tone in which ZZ talked to me. I told her to calm down but she told me to atleast write her a message demanding an apology. 

 

I am not going to write her any personal messages. But I know that ZZ is one of many people who probably feel/behave the same way as she did. So here's my response to all those people and I hope ZZ reads this as well. 

 

1) Thank you for not accepting me last year, otherwise I would have never connected with my wife and I wouldn't have had such a lovely life. I am not taunting you, I genuinely mean it. If you find a great husband, you can thank me for not simping over you long enough. 

 

2) Yes, I agree that I told you that I was willing to wait but I don't remember making a promise or commitment, but even if I did make a promise, no relationship ever works if it's one sided. For you to expect that someone would honor their commitment, you must do your part in making them feel secured. You cannot expect someone to wait for you for eterninty while you keep looking for other options. If you were not looking for other options, then you should have tried to keep me assured. 

 

3) You blamed me for not messaging you for the last 16 months and for not informing you that I got married. You didn't message me either. As I mentioned before, I didn't msg you because most women don't like getting messaged by the person she has said no to, and I believe the information about my marriage was of no use to you.

 

4) I am for making you believe that I was going to wait for you for eterninty, but I repeat I never said that I'll wait forever. Even if that were true, any person(man or woman) who gives an eternal one sided commitment to a person who doesn't even reciprocate is a person with extreme low self-esteem and self-worth. You must avoid marrying such a person in any case.

 

5) For your own good, even when angry, pls avoid using abusive language ( giving gaali) to a man. Men can say some very vulgar things and stoop very low. Not every exchange will go the same way as the one between us.

 

6) (This one is to acknowledge the value of my wife, so that she feels happy and forgives her.)

Not just men, even women can be way more aggressive than you think. Yes, some men will be gentle with you despite your verbal abuse, but such men are not always alone. If this exchange happened face-to-face and my wife was there, she would have shown you the right place. Be smart, avoid rubbing people the wrong way.

 

ZZ - I will not reveal your identity ever. Even this post is anonymous because I think your roommates and Maasi know me, but If you feel I misrepresented you any way, you can call me directly show me all the attempts you made in the last 16 months. I will write an apology post in that case and I WON'T be anonymous in that apology post.

 

Once again, ZZ is not her initials. Any resemblance is purely coincidental.

Is this your real life buddy? Sorry asking as I am trying to understand if this real

[kevinUsa]

3 minutes ago, Prasadgeek33 said:

Is this your real life buddy? Sorry asking as I am trying to understand if this real

Nadi enduku avutadi FB nundi techina story

[Assam_Bhayya]

19 minutes ago, kevinUsa said:

Nadi enduku avutadi FB nundi techina story

Anna, going forward, matter motham nuvvu chadivi 3, 4 times, story ni ikkada 3, 4 bulleted points lo raayi. Pls!!

Appreciate @ANNA_PLEASE_PETTU in such matters. 3 to 4 lines lo motham cheppi salaha aduguthadu.

[Sixers]

Lucky fellow

Koncham close ayyi unte vaadikoni dobbedi.