The Basic Military Laws!

[ROUDRAM]

Try to look unimportant; the enemy may be low on ammo and not want to waste a bullet on you.

• Never share a foxhole with anyone braver than yourself.

• Never forget that your weapon was made by the lowest bidder.

• Five second fuses always burn three seconds.

• The easy way is always mined.

• Teamwork is essential; it gives the enemy other people to shoot at.

• If you are short of everything but the enemy, you are in the combat zone.

• Incoming fire has the right of way.

• No combat ready unit has ever passed inspection.

• No inspection ready unit has ever passed combat.

• If the enemy is within range, so are you.

• The only thing more accurate than incoming enemy fire is incoming friendly fire.

• Tracers work both ways.

• Professional soldiers are predictable; the world is full of dangerous amateurs.

• Military Intelligence is a contradiction in terms.

• Mines are equal opportunity weapons.

• When in doubt, empty your magazine.

• The side with the simplest uniforms wins.

• Combat will occur on the ground between two adjoining maps.

• The most dangerous thing in the world is a Second Lieutenant with a map and a compass.

• The more a weapon costs, the farther you will have to send it away to be repaired.

• The complexity of a weapon is inversely proportional to the IQ of the weapon's operator.

• If enough data is collected, a board of inquiry can prove anything.

• To steal information from a person is called plagiarism. To steal information from the enemy is called gathering intelligence.

• The weapon that usually jams when you need it the most is the INSAS.

• The bursting radius of a hand grenade is always one foot greater than your jumping range.

• The crucial round is a dud.

• There is no such place as a convenient foxhole.

• Density of fire increases proportionally to the curiousness of the target.

• Success occurs when no one is looking, failure occurs when the General is watching.

• Things that must be together to work can never be sent together.

• The quartermaster has only two sizes: too large and too small.

• If you have a personality conflict with your superior: he has the personality, you have the conflict.

• If you enter the CO's office with an idea, most likely, you will leave his office with the CO's idea.

[htnamus]

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