golmaal govindam Posted March 19, 2012 Report Posted March 19, 2012 Hullo all DBians, Maa extended family lo oka recent problem vachindi. Maa cousin brother okathanu is going through bad phase in marriage. Short ga backgroud estory chepputha: Cousin emo H1 meeda US lo working since some years. Last year pelli ayyindi. Wife tho US lo living since then. Kaani wife H4, so no work and lonliness walla chaala frustrated. So valla relationships chaala affect ayyindi. Roju yedo oka godava, fightings, quarels etc etc. There is no root cause of the problem. Just personality differences and adjustment problems. This has taken toll on both, causin not able to concentrate on job. Wife not happy at all with her life. Vallu india velli divorce kosam proceed avvudam anukuntunnaru. We are normal middle working class traditional people, divorce anedi chaala pedda avumaanam laantidi. Its very making my cousin very depressed. He is concerned about both his future as well his wife's future. So I want to know, melo evraina valla families lo divorce lanti cases face chesara. Ee rojullo (nowadays), mana telugu society lo divorcee people nee ela treat chestunnaru (for both men and women). Malli vere pelli chesukoni happy ga vunde avakaashalu vunnaya... I feel very upset about my cousin Anyone has any suggestions please let me know...
150bryant Posted March 19, 2012 Report Posted March 19, 2012 mama....the best thing is to really write down...what the compatibility issues are.. idhi oka practical thing to solve problemss.. mee cousin is keen on her future and self antey..he wants the relationship and not divorce.. which means there is source of positiveness... there is an initial fact..tht they live together before and have shared the intense moments... which means ther is bonding...so there lies a ray of hope..which says...try to understand about the situation more. antey.....sitdown and think about wats wrong, how can change the situation...how can i recoupe the stuff back up..how can i bring back things together../???????????????????? this involves a little adjustment...a little behavioral change...a little contribution to let himself down and be there for her. when we accept somebody thru heart...we jus support them in whatever they do...rather than pointout things against it.. its similar to tht..tell him to accept her...tell him to acknowledge her...if everything goes well thn comes the phase...wher he can love her again..and woo her ...and she will be his forever..and the current divorce will look like just a bump in the road after some years of life..
PMREDDY19 Posted March 19, 2012 Report Posted March 19, 2012 not want to pu tout so many details, i know osmeone in my relatives going thru a situation much worse than this ba.. Let's talk on this on phone baa. sometime tomorrow.. will pm my number.. This is gettign more complex to so many families here especially with women whoever worked in India and stopped working after coming to US, why don't htey try tp find some consultnacy job who can pay in cash and need to train students with real tiem experince and some kind of run payslip on some name jobs..
PMREDDY19 Posted March 19, 2012 Report Posted March 19, 2012 [quote name='jamajacha' timestamp='1332133948' post='1301531853'] mama....the best thing is to really write down...what the compatibility issues are.. idhi oka practical thing to solve problemss.. mee cousin is keen on her future and self antey..he wants the relationship and not divorce.. which means there is source of positiveness... there is an initial fact..tht they live together before and have shared the intense moments... which means ther is bonding...so there lies a ray of hope..which says...try to understand about the situation more. antey.....sitdown and think about wats wrong, how can change the situation...how can i recoupe the stuff back up..how can i bring back things together../???????????????????? this involves a little adjustment...a little behavioral change...a little contribution to let himself down and be there for her. when we accept somebody thru heart...we jus support them in whatever they do...rather than pointout things against it.. its similar to tht..tell him to accept her...tell him to acknowledge her...if everything goes well thn comes the phase...wher he can love her again..and woo her ...and she will be his forever..and the current divorce will look like just a bump in the road after some years of life.. [/quote]
150bryant Posted March 19, 2012 Report Posted March 19, 2012 [quote name='PMR aka OM' timestamp='1332134161' post='1301531858'] [/quote]jara ekuvaindhi ley...
golmaal govindam Posted March 19, 2012 Author Report Posted March 19, 2012 [quote name='jamajacha' timestamp='1332133948' post='1301531853'] mama....the best thing is to really write down...what the compatibility issues are.. idhi oka practical thing to solve problemss.. mee cousin is keen on her future and self antey..he wants the relationship and not divorce.. which means there is source of positiveness... there is an initial fact..tht they live together before and have shared the intense moments... which means ther is bonding...so there lies a ray of hope..which says...try to understand about the situation more. antey.....sitdown and think about wats wrong, how can change the situation...how can i recoupe the stuff back up..how can i bring back things together../???????????????????? this involves a little adjustment...a little behavioral change...a little contribution to let himself down and be there for her. when we accept somebody thru heart...we jus support them in whatever they do...rather than pointout things against it.. its similar to tht..tell him to accept her...tell him to acknowledge her...if everything goes well thn comes the phase...wher he can love her again..and woo her ...and she will be his forever..and the current divorce will look like just a bump in the road after some years of life.. [/quote] Thanks baa. Vallu next week India going. Andaru first adey suggest chestunnaru. To talk and resolve any issues. Problem entante, its the girl who is pushing for divorce. My cousin is simple and kind hearted person, no aggression at all. Its the girl who is very aggressive, short tempered and violent. She fights so much with husband that once even cops came home to give warning. Everyone in the family is upset about the girl's behaviour, including her parents. Anyway's, constructive solution kosam full try chestaaru. But just in case, if divorce really happens, whats life like after that. Can person live normally after that??
150bryant Posted March 19, 2012 Report Posted March 19, 2012 [quote name='golmaal govindam' timestamp='1332134231' post='1301531861'] Thanks baa. Vallu next week India going. Andaru first adey suggest chestunnaru. To talk and resolve any issues. Problem entante, its the girl who is pushing for divorce. My cousin is simple and kind hearted person, no aggression at all. Its the girl who is very aggressive, short tempered and violent. She fights so much with husband that once even cops came home to give warning. Everyone in the family is upset about the girl's behaviour, including her parents. Anyway's, constructive solution kosam full try chestaaru. But just in case, if divorce really happens, whats life like after that. Can person live normally after that?? [/quote] well then everything is fine..if the girls wants to go away..let her go.. we cant help with it..... dont even think abt vengeneance...life Frocks everyone... so live life and be happy for what you are...type lo undi konni days..later malli pelli cheskodame [img]http://emmyk.files.wordpress.com/2011/12/tumblr_lgwnp5eedl1qb0so3o1_500.png[/img]
golmaal govindam Posted March 19, 2012 Author Report Posted March 19, 2012 [quote name='PMR aka OM' timestamp='1332134051' post='1301531855'] not want to pu tout so many details, i know osmeone in my relatives going thru a situation much worse than this ba.. Let's talk on this on phone baa. sometime tomorrow.. will pm my number.. This is gettign more complex to so many families here especially with women whoever worked in India and stopped working after coming to US, why don't htey try tp find some consultnacy job who can pay in cash and need to train students with real tiem experince and some kind of run payslip on some name jobs.. [/quote] Thanks mama. PM number and give your free time, I can call. I am in PST
golmaal govindam Posted March 19, 2012 Author Report Posted March 19, 2012 [quote name='ChandraBhai' timestamp='1332134272' post='1301531863'] Inni chese badulu why can't she try job [/quote] Not interested in IT job... more details I don't know
golmaal govindam Posted March 19, 2012 Author Report Posted March 19, 2012 [quote name='jamajacha' timestamp='1332134346' post='1301531867'] well then everything is fine..if the girls wants to go away..let her go.. we cant help with it..... dont even think abt vengeneance...life Frocks everyone... so live life and be happy for what you are...type lo undi konni days..later malli pelli cheskodame [img]http://emmyk.files.wordpress.com/2011/12/tumblr_lgwnp5eedl1qb0so3o1_500.png[/img] [/quote] Vengeance question ledu. My causin still has soft corner for girl and wants her to be happy. He is in great confusion, because girl cannot be happy with him, and divorce is only option. But after divorce he is even more afraid how her life will be... poor chap... mundu loya venaka baayi...
Spartan Posted March 19, 2012 Report Posted March 19, 2012 [quote name='PMR aka OM' timestamp='1332134051' post='1301531855'] not want to pu tout so many details, i know osmeone in my relatives going thru a situation much worse than this ba.. Let's talk on this on phone baa. sometime tomorrow.. will pm my number.. This is gettign more complex to so many families here especially with[b][size=6] women whoever worked in India and stopped working after coming to US,[/size][/b] why don't htey try tp find some consultnacy job who can pay in cash and need to train students with real tiem experince and some kind of run payslip on some name jobs.. [/quote] [img]http://img530.imageshack.us/img530/6233/venkyyeah.gif[/img] anduke nenu decide ayya..no working girls.... @To Topic....ba as Vikuba and Reddy garu told...oka sari sit down and talking to each other is best way at least trying .. if the girl is pushy..i dont think it will work out.....inka life after Divorce antava......there are many people out there..society...relatives gurinchi alpochistu kurchunte bratakadam kashtam now a days... a relatives lo how many people do care abt that....(except workless people who have no other work...)...Youngistan has no time to look into others personal life...
POOLA RANGADU Posted March 19, 2012 Report Posted March 19, 2012 [quote name='golmaal govindam' timestamp='1332133462' post='1301531840'] Hullo all DBians, Maa extended family lo oka recent problem vachindi. Maa cousin brother okathanu is going through bad phase in marriage. Short ga backgroud estory chepputha: Cousin emo H1 meeda US lo working since some years. Last year pelli ayyindi. Wife tho US lo living since then. Kaani wife H4, so no work and lonliness walla chaala frustrated. So valla relationships chaala affect ayyindi. Roju yedo oka godava, fightings, quarels etc etc. There is no root cause of the problem. Just personality differences and adjustment problems. This has taken toll on both, causin not able to concentrate on job. Wife not happy at all with her life. Vallu india velli divorce kosam proceed avvudam anukuntunnaru. We are normal middle working class traditional people, divorce anedi chaala pedda avumaanam laantidi. Its very making my cousin very depressed. He is concerned about both his future as well his wife's future. So I want to know, melo evraina valla families lo divorce lanti cases face chesara. Ee rojullo (nowadays), mana telugu society lo divorcee people nee ela treat chestunnaru (for both men and women). Malli vere pelli chesukoni happy ga vunde avakaashalu vunnaya... I feel very upset about my cousin Anyone has any suggestions please let me know... [/quote] [quote name='golmaal govindam' timestamp='1332134231' post='1301531861'] Thanks baa. Vallu next week India going. Andaru first adey suggest chestunnaru. To talk and resolve any issues. Problem entante, its the girl who is pushing for divorce. My cousin is simple and kind hearted person, no aggression at all. Its the girl who is very aggressive, short tempered and violent. She fights so much with husband that once even cops came home to give warning. Everyone in the family is upset about the girl's behaviour, including her parents. Anyway's, constructive solution kosam full try chestaaru. But just in case, if divorce really happens, whats life like after that. Can person live normally after that?? [/quote] what is the take of the girls parents on the issue? how ready are they to sit and resolve issues with the boy and his parents? what are the boys parents stand on this? The answer to your Question : what is the stage post- divorce : NIGHT MARE. ur COUSIN is headed for SELF DESTRUCTION. You can picturize him losing his job,money,reputation and mental balance. the feasible solution and QUICK advice i can suggest is that they both take MARRIAGE COUNSELING immediately. 2) ask both of them to go on a vacation ..a relaxed one. present them with a collage of photos pre and post marriage. 3) if you are so concerned about your cousin...invite their family for dinner...and tour them around ...show them how your family works...with an UNDERLYING message..dont be blatant about it. play some games tht develop intimacy between them. I can assure you one thing..It is SILLY/STUPID and WORSE to go for a divorce for no good reason. the results will be disastrous. it will be MUCH TOUGHER on the guys prt than it is on the girl . all she needs to say is her ex was a sadist.
150bryant Posted March 19, 2012 Report Posted March 19, 2012 [quote name='ChittiNaidu' timestamp='1332134642' post='1301531874'] [img]http://img530.imageshack.us/img530/6233/venkyyeah.gif[/img] anduke nenu decide ayya..no working girls.... @To Topic....ba as Vikuba and Reddy garu told...oka sari sit down and talking to each other is best way at least trying .. if the girl is pushy..i dont think it will work out.....inka life after Divorce antava......there are many people out there..society...relatives gurinchi alpochistu kurchunte bratakadam kashtam now a days... a relatives lo how many people do care abt that....(except workless people who have no other work...)..[b].Youngistan has no time to look into others personal life...[/b] [/quote]Absolutely TRUE
pavan_613 Posted March 19, 2012 Report Posted March 19, 2012 for ur cousin situation......... Now a DAYS its soo common issue bhayya......india ki velthunnaru annavu kada akkada mee idhhari families tho issue ento clear ga thelsukomanu ahh ammayi ki ela vuntey ishtam ani theluskoni follow ayipovadamey konni days.....later usa lo edho oka job chesthu untey mind change avochhu hope for the best.......divorce antey ippudu pichhalite antunnaru bhayyaa endho ee yedhava jeevitham ila ayipothunnaru andharu no moral values
pavan_613 Posted March 19, 2012 Report Posted March 19, 2012 [quote name='golmaal govindam' timestamp='1332134480' post='1301531871'] Not interested in IT job... more details I don't know [/quote] job cheyyadam interest lenappudu usa lo day care center or inkedhayina open chesukoni pettukuni timepass cheyyali ila intlo kurchoni office nundi vachhey mee cousin ki torture choopiyadam antey koncham kashtamey bhayya
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