Adult Jokes Thread

[CENATION_]

[size=4][quote name='manmadudhu' timestamp='1334339113' post='1301634059']
[color=#000000][font=Verdana]An old Italian Mafia Don is dying and he called his grandson to his bed Grandson I wanta you to listen to me. I wanta you to take mya 45 automatic pistol, so you will always remember me. But grandpa I really don't like guns, how about you leaving me your Rolex watch instead. [/font][/color]

[color=#000000][font=Verdana]You lisina to me, some day you goin a be runna da bussiness, you goina have a beautiful wife, lotsa money, a biga home and maybe a couple od bambino, some day you goina come hom and maybe finda you wife in be with another man. Whata you gonna do then? Pointa to you watch and say, "TIMES UP"?[/font][/color]
[/quote][/size]

[manmadudhu]

[size=5][color=#000000][font=Verdana]How is a woman like a condom?[/font][/color][/size]
[size=5][color=#000000][font=Verdana]Both spend more time in your wallet than on your dick.[/font][/color][/size]

[karpuram1]

Nenu oka joke chepata.

Na cinapudu ma frnd gadu chepadu ee joke.

Okasari kapil dev cricket adutute ball oka cheruvulo padipotundi. Same time sridevi lipstick kuda ade cheruvulo padipotundi.
Idaru cheruvu lo duki sridevi kapil gani Su*** patukuni na lipstich dorinindi antundi.
Kapil dev sridevi batulu patukuni naku rendu bals dorikayi antadu.
Ide joke. navu rakapoyina navandi eesariki.

[goli soda]

[quote name='karpuram1' timestamp='1334339281' post='1301634080']
Nenu oka joke chepata.

Na cinapudu ma frnd gadu chepadu ee joke.

Okasari kapil dev cricket adutute ball oka cheruvulo padipotundi. Same time sridevi lipstick kuda ade cheruvulo padipotundi.
Idaru cheruvu lo duki sridevi kapil gani Su*** patukuni na lipstich dorinindi antundi.
Kapil dev sridevi batulu patukuni naku rendu bals dorikayi antadu.
Ide joke. navu rakapoyina navandi eesariki.
[/quote]
yeaah chinnapudu baga cheppe vallu yee jokee....

[karpuram1]

[quote name='goli soda' timestamp='1334339159' post='1301634064']
nuvem cheppavo kuda mukka artham kaledu kappu....
[/quote]

Nelanti talented fellow ke ardam kakuda joke chapeu kada vadu. Anduke vadu waste antunna...

[rapchik]

[color=#333333]One man had a child[/color]
[color=#333333]....[/color]
[color=#333333]...[/color]
[color=#333333]...[/color]
[color=#333333]...... .[/color]
[color=#333333]...[/color]
[color=#333333]1 year later - man asked the child-what to gift you?[/color]
[color=#333333]...[/color]
[color=#333333]...[/color]
[color=#333333]...[/color]
[color=#333333]...
child said ping pong ball
...
...
...
...
2'nd b'day -
Father- what gift you want?
Son - ping pong ball
...
...
....
...
3rd b'day
Father- what gift you want?
Son - ping pong ball
...
...
...
....
4th bday
Father- what gift you want?
Son - ping pong ball
...
...
....
....
...
...
5th bday
Father- what gift you want?
Son - ping pong ball
...
....
...
...
...
...
...
...
6thb' day
Father- what gift you want?
Son - ping pong ball
...
...
....
...
...
...
....
...
...... ....... .. ....... ...... .. .... ....... .... ..... .......... ..... .......
.
...... .
...... ....... .. ....... ...... .. ...
24th bday
Father- what gift you want?
Son - ping pong ball
...
....
...
...
....
...
he got married
at honeymoon
Wife-what do u want?
Husband-ping pong ball
...
...
...
....
25th bday
Wife - what gift you want?
Husband-ping pong ball
...
....
....
...
...
...
...
...
26th bday
Wife - what gift you want?
Husband-ping pong ball
...
...
....
...
...
27th bday
Wife - what gift you want?
Husband-ping pong ball
...
...
....
...
...
....
...... ....... .. ....... ...... .. .... ....... .... ..... .......... ..... .......
.
...... ..
...... ....... .. ....... ...... .. .... ....... .... ..... .......... ..... .....
his kids become 15 yrs old
...
...
....
...
40th bday
kids- Father what gift you want?
Father - ping pong ball
...
...
....
...
...
41st b' day
kids- Father what gift you want?
Father - ping pong ball
...
...
...
....
...
...
42nd bday
kids- Father what gift you want?
Father - ping pong ball
...
...
....
...
....
...... ....... .. ....... ...... .. .... ....... .... ..... .......... ..... .......
.
...... .
...... ....... .. ....... ...... .. .... ....... .... ..... .......... ..... .......
.
......
79th b'day
kids- Father what gift you want?
Father - ping pong ball
...
...
....
...
...... ....... .. ....... ...... .. .... ....... .... ..... .......... ..... .......
.
...... .
...... ....... .. ....... ...... .. .... ....... .... ..... .......... .....
time for his death
all the people from whom he took ping pong ball
(Like his Wife, kids and
all others) came to him and asked
Why did you ask for ping pong ball all the time ?
...
...
....
He said give me a ping pong ball then I will tell you...
....
....
...
Then those people gave him a ping pong ball
...
....
....
...
...
He said when I will be extremely nearto death then I will tell
....
...
....
...
...
....
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
....
...
...
During those last moments when he is about to die everyone reached him and asked tell us why did you ask for ping pong ball always?
he said.
...
...
.....
...
....
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
....
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
I asked for a ping pong ball on my every b'day
because
...
....
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
....
...
....
...
...
....
...
....
...
...
...
...
...
And he died... before he could tell the Reason...
What a tragedy ! What a tragedy !!
Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm?
.
.
Now don't look at me like this, what can I do...[/color]

[karpuram1]

[quote name='manmadudhu' timestamp='1334339244' post='1301634076']
[size=5][color=#000000][font=Verdana]How is a woman like a condom?[/font][/color][/size]
[size=5][color=#000000][font=Verdana]Both spend more time in your wallet than on your dick.[/font][/color][/size]
[/quote]

Bagundi...anduke nalanti valani choose chekunte aa bada undadu.

[manmadudhu]

[size=5][color=#000000][font=verdana, geneva, lucida,]A man bumps into a woman in a hotel lobby and as he[/font][/color]
[color=#000000][font=verdana, geneva, lucida,]does, his elbow goes into her breast. They are both[/font][/color]
[color=#000000][font=verdana, geneva, lucida,]quite startled.[/font][/color]

[color=#000000][font=verdana, geneva, lucida,]The man turns to her and says, 'Ma'am, I'm so , [/font][/color]
[color=#000000][font=verdana, geneva, lucida,]but if your heart is as soft as your breast, I know you'll [/font][/color]
[color=#000000][font=verdana, geneva, lucida,]forgive me.' Without batting an eye, she replies, 'If your [/font][/color]
[color=#000000][font=verdana, geneva, lucida,]thing is as hard as your elbow, I'll be in room 221.'[/font][/color][/size]

[chiru_tiru]

He: I wanna kiss you darling....
She: ok where you wanna kiss, on Harizonal lips or Vertical Lips...

[karpuram1]

[quote name='ReddyGaru' timestamp='1334339478' post='1301634106']
[color=#333333]One man had a child[/color]
[color=#333333]....[/color]
[color=#333333]...[/color]
[color=#333333]...[/color]
[color=#333333]...... .[/color]
[color=#333333]...[/color]
[color=#333333]1 year later - man asked the child-what to gift you?[/color]
[color=#333333]...[/color]
[color=#333333]...[/color]
[color=#333333]...[/color]
[color=#333333]...
child said ping pong ball
...
...
...
...
2'nd b'day -
Father- what gift you want?
Son - ping pong ball
...
...
....
...
3rd b'day
Father- what gift you want?
Son - ping pong ball
...
...
...
....
4th bday
Father- what gift you want?
Son - ping pong ball
...
...
....
....
...
...
5th bday
Father- what gift you want?
Son - ping pong ball
...
....
...
...
...
...
...
...
6thb' day
Father- what gift you want?
Son - ping pong ball
...
...
....
...
...
...
....
...
...... ....... .. ....... ...... .. .... ....... .... ..... .......... ..... .......
.
...... .
...... ....... .. ....... ...... .. ...
24th bday
Father- what gift you want?
Son - ping pong ball
...
....
...
...
....
...
he got married
at honeymoon
Wife-what do u want?
Husband-ping pong ball
...
...
...
....
25th bday
Wife - what gift you want?
Husband-ping pong ball
...
....
....
...
...
...
...
...
26th bday
Wife - what gift you want?
Husband-ping pong ball
...
...
....
...
...
27th bday
Wife - what gift you want?
Husband-ping pong ball
...
...
....
...
...
....
...... ....... .. ....... ...... .. .... ....... .... ..... .......... ..... .......
.
...... ..
...... ....... .. ....... ...... .. .... ....... .... ..... .......... ..... .....
his kids become 15 yrs old
...
...
....
...
40th bday
kids- Father what gift you want?
Father - ping pong ball
...
...
....
...
...
41st b' day
kids- Father what gift you want?
Father - ping pong ball
...
...
...
....
...
...
42nd bday
kids- Father what gift you want?
Father - ping pong ball
...
...
....
...
....
...... ....... .. ....... ...... .. .... ....... .... ..... .......... ..... .......
.
...... .
...... ....... .. ....... ...... .. .... ....... .... ..... .......... ..... .......
.
......
79th b'day
kids- Father what gift you want?
Father - ping pong ball
...
...
....
...
...... ....... .. ....... ...... .. .... ....... .... ..... .......... ..... .......
.
...... .
...... ....... .. ....... ...... .. .... ....... .... ..... .......... .....
time for his death
all the people from whom he took ping pong ball
(Like his Wife, kids and
all others) came to him and asked
Why did you ask for ping pong ball all the time ?
...
...
....
He said give me a ping pong ball then I will tell you...
....
....
...
Then those people gave him a ping pong ball
...
....
....
...
...
He said when I will be extremely nearto death then I will tell
....
...
....
...
...
....
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
....
...
...
During those last moments when he is about to die everyone reached him and asked tell us why did you ask for ping pong ball always?
he said.
...
...
.....
...
....
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
....
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
I asked for a ping pong ball on my every b'day
because
...
....
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
....
...
....
...
...
....
...
....
...
...
...
...
...
And he died... before he could tell the Reason...
What a tragedy ! What a tragedy !!
Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm?
.
.
Now don't look at me like this, what can I do...[/color]
[/quote]


Bale Vp lanai chesav chadive vallani..but it is nice.

[manmadudhu]

[size=5][color=#000000][font=verdana, geneva, lucida,]The old couple had been married for 50 years. They were sitting [/font][/color]
[color=#000000][font=verdana, geneva, lucida,]at the breakfast table one morning when the wife says, 'Just think, [/font][/color]
[color=#000000][font=verdana, geneva, lucida,]fifty years ago we were sitting at this same breakfast table together.'[/font][/color]

[color=#000000][font=verdana, geneva, lucida,]'I know,' the old man said. 'We were probably sitting here naked as [/font][/color]
[color=#000000][font=verdana, geneva, lucida,]a jaybird, too .' 'Well,' Granny snickered. 'Let's relive some old times.'[/font][/color]

[color=#000000][font=verdana, geneva, lucida,]Where upon, the two stripped to the buff and sat back down at the [/font][/color]
[color=#000000][font=verdana, geneva, lucida,]table. 'You know, honey,' the little old lady breathlessly replied, 'My[/font][/color]
[color=#000000][font=verdana, geneva, lucida,]nipples are as hot for you today as they were fifty years ago.'[/font][/color]

[color=#000000][font=verdana, geneva, lucida,]'I wouldn't be surprised,' replied Gramps. 'One's in your coffee and [/font][/color]
[color=#000000][font=verdana, geneva, lucida,]the other is in your oatmeal.'[/font][/color][/size]

[k2s]

[quote name='ReddyGaru' timestamp='1334339478' post='1301634106']
[color=#333333]One man had a child[/color]
[color=#333333]....[/color]
[color=#333333]...[/color]
[color=#333333]...[/color]
[color=#333333]...... .[/color]
[color=#333333]...[/color]
[color=#333333]1 year later - man asked the child-what to gift you?[/color]
[color=#333333]...[/color]
[color=#333333]...[/color]
[color=#333333]...[/color]
[color=#333333]...
child said ping pong ball
...
...
...
...
2'nd b'day -
Father- what gift you want?
Son - ping pong ball
...
...
....
...
3rd b'day
Father- what gift you want?
Son - ping pong ball
...
...
...
....
4th bday
Father- what gift you want?
Son - ping pong ball
...
...
....
....
...
...
5th bday
Father- what gift you want?
Son - ping pong ball
...
....
...
...
...
...
...
...
6thb' day
Father- what gift you want?
Son - ping pong ball
...
...
....
...
...
...
....
...
...... ....... .. ....... ...... .. .... ....... .... ..... .......... ..... .......
.
...... .
...... ....... .. ....... ...... .. ...
24th bday
Father- what gift you want?
Son - ping pong ball
...
....
...
...
....
...
he got married
at honeymoon
Wife-what do u want?
Husband-ping pong ball
...
...
...
....
25th bday
Wife - what gift you want?
Husband-ping pong ball
...
....
....
...
...
...
...
...
26th bday
Wife - what gift you want?
Husband-ping pong ball
...
...
....
...
...
27th bday
Wife - what gift you want?
Husband-ping pong ball
...
...
....
...
...
....
...... ....... .. ....... ...... .. .... ....... .... ..... .......... ..... .......
.
...... ..
...... ....... .. ....... ...... .. .... ....... .... ..... .......... ..... .....
his kids become 15 yrs old
...
...
....
...
40th bday
kids- Father what gift you want?
Father - ping pong ball
...
...
....
...
...
41st b' day
kids- Father what gift you want?
Father - ping pong ball
...
...
...
....
...
...
42nd bday
kids- Father what gift you want?
Father - ping pong ball
...
...
....
...
....
...... ....... .. ....... ...... .. .... ....... .... ..... .......... ..... .......
.
...... .
...... ....... .. ....... ...... .. .... ....... .... ..... .......... ..... .......
.
......
79th b'day
kids- Father what gift you want?
Father - ping pong ball
...
...
....
...
...... ....... .. ....... ...... .. .... ....... .... ..... .......... ..... .......
.
...... .
...... ....... .. ....... ...... .. .... ....... .... ..... .......... .....
time for his death
all the people from whom he took ping pong ball
(Like his Wife, kids and
all others) came to him and asked
Why did you ask for ping pong ball all the time ?
...
...
....
He said give me a ping pong ball then I will tell you...
....
....
...
Then those people gave him a ping pong ball
...
....
....
...
...
He said when I will be extremely nearto death then I will tell
....
...
....
...
...
....
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
....
...
...
During those last moments when he is about to die everyone reached him and asked tell us why did you ask for ping pong ball always?
he said.
...
...
.....
...
....
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
....
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
I asked for a ping pong ball on my every b'day
because
...
....
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
....
...
....
...
...
....
...
....
...
...
...
...
...
And he died... before he could tell the Reason...
What a tragedy ! What a tragedy !!
Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm?
.
.
Now don't look at me like this, what can I do...[/color]
[/quote]ping pong ball

[karpuram1]

[quote name='manmadudhu' timestamp='1334339526' post='1301634116']
[size=5][color=#000000][font=verdana, geneva, lucida,]A man bumps into a woman in a hotel lobby and as he[/font][/color]
[color=#000000][font=verdana, geneva, lucida,]does, his elbow goes into her breast. They are both[/font][/color]
[color=#000000][font=verdana, geneva, lucida,]quite startled.[/font][/color]

[color=#000000][font=verdana, geneva, lucida,]The man turns to her and says, 'Ma'am, I'm so , [/font][/color]
[color=#000000][font=verdana, geneva, lucida,]but if your heart is as soft as your breast, I know you'll [/font][/color]
[color=#000000][font=verdana, geneva, lucida,]forgive me.' Without batting an eye, she replies, 'If your [/font][/color]
[color=#000000][font=verdana, geneva, lucida,]thing is as hard as your elbow, I'll be in room 221.'[/font][/color][/size]
[/quote]

Nice one..

[manmadudhu]

[quote name='karpuram1' timestamp='1334340051' post='1301634170']
Nice one..
[/quote]

[kastfkr]

[size=4][font=Verdana]There are these three guys in a desert dying of dehydration. Off in the horizon they see a house and finally manage to struggle to it. The first guy goes up to the door to ask for water. The door is opened by this really old, wart-covered, puss covered, scaly, toothless old woman.

"C-c-c-can I h-h-h-have some w-w-w-water for me and m-my friends?" he asks.

She replied, "I will... if you have sex with me."

The guy pukes all over the woman and runs back to his friends.

"You guys would not believe who answered the door. Some really gross old lady!" he tells them. "She said we could have water if I had sex with her."

"Why didn't you then?" asks he second guy.

"Because she was so ugly, I was sick and couldn't do it!"

"Oh, you are such a wuss. I'll go up to the door," the second guy says.

He goes up to the door and rings the bell. The old hag answers.

"W-w-w-w-w-w-waaaaaa......" He uses all of his will power to not hurl.

"Water? Yes, I have water," she says knowingly. "But you have to have sex with me."

"AAAAAUUUUUUUGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHH!!"

He runs back to his friends and before he could say a word, the third guy goes to the door and rings the bell.

"What do you want for some water?"

"You have to have sex with me."

Knowing that if he doesn't do something, he and his friends will all die. So he follows the lady into her kitchen.

"Do me here," she told him.

He sees 3 ears of corn on the counter and gets an idea.

"Lay back and close your eyes. And keep them closed!"

The witch lays back and spreads her legs. The guy nearly pukes after seeing this. He picks up an ear of corn and screws her with it. Finally she is finished. He throws the corn out the window.

"Oh, God. That was the best orgasm of my life. If you do that again I will give you a million dollars."

"Then lay back and close your eyes again."

This she does and he does her with the second ear of corn until she is satisfied. Then he throws it out the window. This time she doesn't even open her eyes.

"If you do that again, I will give you a Jeep so you can get out of the desert."

"Eyes closed," he says.

Then he does her with the last piece of corn. He brings her to multiple orgasms.

"Ohhhhhhhhh........ The water, money and Jeep are outside," she says as she squirms in ecstasy.

So he runs like hell outside and grabs the water and money and jumps into the Jeep. He wonders where his friends are and drives around to find them. He finds them by the window.

One of the guys says to him, "Hey, man. I hope you had fun. We just ate the three best pieces of buttered corn you could have imagined!"[/font][/size]