chummaaaa Posted July 5, 2012 Report Posted July 5, 2012 [b] What's the geographical definition of sex. . . ? It's an action done by Pol-land into Hol-land between Thai-land, Occasionally with a little help from Greece. . . ;[/b] Quote
chummaaaa Posted July 5, 2012 Report Posted July 5, 2012 [b] A priest saw a girl removing her blouse. The priest prayed: God, please close my eyes. When he opened his eyes, the girl was naked This time he prayed God please close your eyes.[/b] Quote
summer27 Posted July 5, 2012 Author Report Posted July 5, 2012 Boss: Johnson, we giving you a promotion but you have to move to Montreal. Johnson: Montreal! "Nothing comes from there except hookers and hockey players!" Boss: Listen pal, my wife comes from there! Johnson, without missing a beat replies, "No kidding! What position does she play?" Quote
summer27 Posted July 6, 2012 Author Report Posted July 6, 2012 God must love stupid people. He made SO many. Quote
summer27 Posted July 6, 2012 Author Report Posted July 6, 2012 Crowded elevators smell different to midgets. Quote
summer27 Posted July 6, 2012 Author Report Posted July 6, 2012 It's not the fall that kills you; it's the sudden stop at the end. Quote
summer27 Posted July 6, 2012 Author Report Posted July 6, 2012 Yesterday's news : An aunty was raped while jogging. Today's news: More aunties found jogging. Quote
summer27 Posted July 6, 2012 Author Report Posted July 6, 2012 Written on the T-Shirt of a girl: SITUATORY WARNING: Objects inside the T-Shirt are larger than they appear from outside. Quote
summer27 Posted July 6, 2012 Author Report Posted July 6, 2012 ATTORNEY: What was the first thing your husband said to you that morning? WITNESS: He said, ‘Where am I, Cathy?’ ATTORNEY: And why did that upset you? WITNESS: My name is Susan! Quote
summer27 Posted July 6, 2012 Author Report Posted July 6, 2012 ATTORNEY: Now doctor, isn’t it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn’t know about it until the next morning? WITNESS: Did you actually pass the bar exam? Quote
summer27 Posted July 6, 2012 Author Report Posted July 6, 2012 ATTORNEY: Were you present when your picture was taken? WITNESS: Are you shitting me? Quote
summer27 Posted July 6, 2012 Author Report Posted July 6, 2012 ATTORNEY: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th? WITNESS: Yes. ATTORNEY: And what were you doing at that time? WITNESS: Uh…. I was gett’in laid! Quote
summer27 Posted July 6, 2012 Author Report Posted July 6, 2012 ATTORNEY: How was your first marriage terminated? WITNESS: By death. ATTORNEY: And by whose death was it terminated? WITNESS: Now whose death do you suppose terminated it? Quote
summer27 Posted July 6, 2012 Author Report Posted July 6, 2012 ATTORNEY: Can you describe the individual? WITNESS: He was about medium height and had a beard. ATTORNEY: Was this a male or a female? WITNESS: Guess. Quote
summer27 Posted July 6, 2012 Author Report Posted July 6, 2012 ATTORNEY: Doctor, how many of your autopsies have you performed on dead people? WITNESS: All my autopsies are performed on dead people. Would you like to rephrase that? Quote
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