Estory - 2 : Again For All Who Congratulate Me In 48K Post Thadu

July 13, 2012

Hi ILs,

This time its for my career .. Me and my hubby we both work for the same organisation.. Currently am in USA on H4 Visa and on Loss of pay leaves from my organisation.

Recently we received our hike letters for the salary we would get in India once we join there ... And see what - he gets hike of around 25 % and we just 14 % ... I am damn unhappy about this fact

He got his letter a day ahead of mine .. so all that day i was happy ... today i got mine and am sad , i am already comparing .. and feeling depressed as to where is my careesr heading .... Dont know if I have always lied myself that I am not career-oriented ...thought lot of ppl think its true ... or may be the fact staying here for a month on H4 is making me sick ... but am not happy that my hike is soooo less than his .... ( ...

I mean all of together i have started feeling insecure :-s ....As we are here in
US things are certainly expensive ( food/dresses) .. be it anything ... and everytime i have to have him around me .. i need to see his face for every small lil thing that i wish to have ... i know he is very good .. .and so far he has never said me NO but then the fact also lies i have myself not opted for things that i wish to buy at the first place ... so it doesnt really mattered if he told me ... yeah u can buy this if u want ... arrey i see u i knw u ... i feel like u want to save money and after its ur money so i just leave half of my wishes just go by

Anyways well the thing that am sad abt now is ... my hike is less than his ...

I remember we both started of together .. we were training time friends ... if i look back ... i feel like initial 2 yrs of my job were superb ... iwas the first one who got the project ... first onsite in all my batch mates then ... so may client and manager appreciation .. and bigger salary .. then after 2 yers his salary was higher than me by just 10 -15K .. that really didnt make much difference ... i mean i was happy ...

But now ever since we got married .. for some or the other reason ...i have been getting less hike .... and the reason are always abt our marriage ... like a yr back when we got married .... i had to stay on Free pool ( no project) coz he had his plans for USA and just to be able to come with him on H$ i had to refrain myself from picking any work on hand .... so a person on free pool why would company think of paying her better ... while she isnt working .. so all my year effort go in vain and are not counted just that am currently in free pool ...what the #$#$%$#% ...

Again this year am in free pool ... coz i had to come to USA this same period whn the hike occurs .. I am not sad that i came here ... but just thinking that due to marriage look i am loosing it everytime .... after engagement when i went onsite ... i returned back soon ... 6 months .. while after marriage he never thought of coming back /.. inspite that he is here for 8 months now ... i mean why the hell am loosing everything on professiional front .... then and now ...

As soon as we got married .. the difference increased to 40K.... still okkk ... but this time our salary annual package difference in India has increased to alomst a lakh .... and am feeling LEFT OUT !!!!!

I know for a wife to think so is bad ... but i dont know am feeling bad .. feel like crying .. but cant cry in front of him ... coz i knw sharing this reason with him will show me as sooo mean ... please help friends ... please tell me how can i come out of this insecure feeling ... (

Also mean while between the two hike cycle this yer he made me join his project for some logical reasons ofcourse .. though at the end things dint work up as wished .. but still for the 10 months that i was in his project i was never happy ... as i felt i couldnt work openly ..... express myself clearly ... everytym i felt like someone is doing wrong .. managers i mean ... i would resist stand up and talk to them thinking it should not affect my hhubby's carrer ....blah blah ....and now look what ... inspite of doing all the goooood work forr 10 months in his project ...i get a 14 % hike thats it (

Ah .... i have vented out all my anger grief .. everything here .. sorry for the trouble caused to readers ...