K2S Post .....

[Aamayakudu]

[color=#333333][font=Verdana, Geneva, sans-serif !important][size=3]

[indent]Hi,

I'm a guy and have a problem that I need help with. I cannot go to my friends, family as it will make things much more complicated. for the long post.
I have been married for 20 months now. It was an arranged marriage. Before marriage, I was working in US and she in India. We met and spoke for couple of times and then agreed to go ahead with the marriage. As I work in US, there was not much time and we got married in 3 weeks after the first meeting and then we both flew back to US. She was very reserved and didn't talk much during the whole time. Her parents told and I assumed that she may be of shy types and will open up eventually.

Now, she is perfect when it comes to taking care of the house. Great cook, keeps home super clean, does my laundry and irons my clothes even though I insist I can iron my clothes. Plays a perfect host even when I invite my friends over. Never fought or even argued with me. Agrees to everything I say. But, there has not been a single moment of physical or emotional intimacy between us during this whole time. I have been reading IL way before I got married(suggested by my friend) and trust me, I have tried everything, all the tips, advices suggested to break the ice between us. But, I can't even get a smile on her face which I have been dying to see.

1. Helped her with cooking , cleaning and other chores at house. Watched TV shows, movies together. Go out regularly.
2. Went on vacations. Tried to involve her in some fun activities but she wouldn't respond. If I try to get even a little physical, she would just freeze. She wouldn't say NO but I can read from her face that she doesn't want it and I just withdraw.
3. Found out what she likes, dislikes and did those things but no, her highness would not even give a monalisa smile or show appreciation.
4. We go out for shopping but can you imagine she has not bought anything for her this whole time. I ask her if she wants anything and all I get is a nod which says big NO. I gave her credit card and told her she can buy whatvever she wants but all she gets is groceries for home.
5. Hooked her up with wifes of my Indian co-workers but she doesn't hang out with them even though we all live within walkable distance.

In short we live like roomates, infact worse than that. Atleast, I had lots of fun when I was living with my roommates. We never even shared a laugh in these 20 months.

Then I talked to her sister who lives here. I didn't tell her the whole thing. Just told her she is moody and if she knows what's going on. That's when she told me that my DW had a BF before our marriage. It was a pretty serious affair and they were planning on getting married.

But because of caste differences, my DW's parents objected and blackmailed her with suicide and all other drama crap to break them up and made her marry me.
Now, my DW is a very strong headed girl. It seems she did not talk to her father for almost a year when he did not allow her to join a college that she wanted to join because it was in another city.

I know she is heart broken but how long can I bear this. I always dreamt of happy married life and I'm ready to wait for her to get through this
but I'm not sure how long can I take this.

Need help guys. Do you know
1. anyone who was in this situation and how long it took for everything to be OK
2. Anything else that I should do to make it work ?

I want to talk to her and give her a choice of either
1. Work with me to give our marriage atleast a chance or
2. Leave if she cannot move on from her past.

But somewhere deep within, I'm really scared that she may choose the second option because dammit I think I love her and just cannot imagine her walking away.[/indent][/size][/font][/color]

[ghazni]

[Pichekkistha]

Ee love vundhey.......

[Maximus]

oho uncle [img]http://i54.tinypic.com/1689ct3.gif[/img]ee pani lo busy ani nuvvvu vesava ..vakey...

[Spartan]

Few reasons..

1) She might have had a bad experience in her childhood..

2) ameki evaraina cheppi untaru it hurts ani..most of the ladies ki a bhayam utnadi...that something might happen during it ani..




POST EDITED....AFTER FULL STORY..



only suggetion try to talk to her about it and get to know if she is scared.if so why..

try to explain how it works anedi..

[Spartan]

one more story please..

[Aamayakudu]

[quote name='ChittiNaidu' timestamp='1342563430' post='1302152085']
one more story please..
[/quote]

wait manchi stories dorakadam ledhu

[ghazni]

[quote name='ChittiNaidu' timestamp='1342563418' post='1302152083']
Few reasons..

1) She might have had a bad experience in her childhood..

2) ameki evaraina cheppi untaru it hurts ani..most of the ladies ki a bhayam utnadi...that something might happen during it ani..

only suggetion try to talk to her about it and get to know if she is scared.if so why..

try to explain how it works anedi..
[/quote]
sitti akada problem verey undi...... she had a bf

[siri_vennela]

[quote name='Aamayakudu' timestamp='1342562941' post='1302152044']
[color=#333333][font=Verdana, Geneva, sans-serif !important][/color]

[indent=1]Hi,

I'm a guy and have a problem that I need help with. I cannot go to my friends, family as it will make things much more complicated. for the long post.
I have been married for 20 months now. It was an arranged marriage. Before marriage, I was working in US and she in India. We met and spoke for couple of times and then agreed to go ahead with the marriage. As I work in US, there was not much time and we got married in 3 weeks after the first meeting and then we both flew back to US. She was very reserved and didn't talk much during the whole time. Her parents told and I assumed that she may be of shy types and will open up eventually.

Now, she is perfect when it comes to taking care of the house. Great cook, keeps home super clean, does my laundry and irons my clothes even though I insist I can iron my clothes. Plays a perfect host even when I invite my friends over. Never fought or even argued with me. Agrees to everything I say. But, there has not been a single moment of physical or emotional intimacy between us during this whole time. I have been reading IL way before I got married(suggested by my friend) and trust me, I have tried everything, all the tips, advices suggested to break the ice between us. But, I can't even get a smile on her face which I have been dying to see.

1. Helped her with cooking , cleaning and other chores at house. Watched TV shows, movies together. Go out regularly.
2. Went on vacations. Tried to involve her in some fun activities but she wouldn't respond. If I try to get even a little physical, she would just freeze. She wouldn't say NO but I can read from her face that she doesn't want it and I just withdraw.
3. Found out what she likes, dislikes and did those things but no, her highness would not even give a monalisa smile or show appreciation.
4. We go out for shopping but can you imagine she has not bought anything for her this whole time. I ask her if she wants anything and all I get is a nod which says big NO. I gave her credit card and told her she can buy whatvever she wants but all she gets is groceries for home.
5. Hooked her up with wifes of my Indian co-workers but she doesn't hang out with them even though we all live within walkable distance.

In short we live like roomates, infact worse than that. Atleast, I had lots of fun when I was living with my roommates. We never even shared a laugh in these 20 months.

Then I talked to her sister who lives here. I didn't tell her the whole thing. Just told her she is moody and if she knows what's going on. That's when she told me that my DW had a BF before our marriage. It was a pretty serious affair and they were planning on getting married.

But because of caste differences, my DW's parents objected and blackmailed her with suicide and all other drama crap to break them up and made her marry me.
Now, my DW is a very strong headed girl. It seems she did not talk to her father for almost a year when he did not allow her to join a college that she wanted to join because it was in another city.

I know she is heart broken but how long can I bear this. I always dreamt of happy married life and I'm ready to wait for her to get through this
but I'm not sure how long can I take this.

Need help guys. Do you know
1. anyone who was in this situation and how long it took for everything to be OK
2. Anything else that I should do to make it work ?

I want to talk to her and give her a choice of either
1. Work with me to give our marriage atleast a chance or
2. Leave if she cannot move on from her past.

But somewhere deep within, I'm really scared that she may choose the second option because dammit I think I love her and just cannot imagine her walking away.[/indent]
[/font]
[/quote]

Madhya inko topic miss ayyara rayatam

[Spartan]

[quote name='ghazni' timestamp='1342563739' post='1302152118']
sitti akada problem verey undi...... she had a bf
[/quote]


oh mottam chadavale..asal matter last lo cheppadu edava...

hmm still same suggestions...cut out first 2 3 points...talk to her..ante..

[tom brady]

Talk 2 her...she needs some counselling

[Anta Assamey]

[psycopk]

[quote name='Maximus' timestamp='1342563382' post='1302152078']
oho uncle [img]http://i54.tinypic.com/1689ct3.gif[/img]ee pani lo busy ani nuvvvu vesava ..vakey...
[/quote] lol../

[psycopk]

solution.. go talk to her.. 1) I love you.. stay with me 2) you love him.. go with him...

[k2s]

[img]http://lh3.ggpht.com/-PW-WVpwTXV4/TwKMeKGkBDI/AAAAAAAAFug/f4Jt1lmzJwY/s150/Sam-3.gif[/img]