Estory - 3 : Fafa Wants Separation

[k2s]

I got married seven years ago. It was a love marriage with parents consent. We were living in different cities and met very few times before marriage. After marriage I came to know about so many things he lied about. He never told me anything its slowly one after another i came to know. He lied about his salary. had loan on him, about his financial condition,, About being a drinker and smoker. He told me about smoking and drinking but in a manner that both are just occassionaly in parties or with friends. Had a huge fight over this because i already told him I hate smoking and smokers and he hid this from me. After few days of fight he said and promised he will stop smoking and drinking both. I really believed on his words later to find out that he still smoke and drinks but only takes care that i should not come to know about it.
These and many more were a part of seven years.. i kept on giving him chances over chances and he kept on repeating one thing and another after that........that includes a extra martial affair also... which he still denies but I read the sms in his cell and can never forget that... then too given this guy a chance as he was really for wat all misunderstanding i had...

Now it seems like it was my mistake I should have been more strong and rather than everytime believing on his lies I should have done something about it... He has a habit of lying..... and that too siviour...... so many times i have confronted him....... told him calmly.. tried to talk to him watever is there told me clearly but stop lying....... nothing so far has worked....
In between he has to leave job reason unknown.... but i have a doubt he has been fired or asked to leave because he went to office drunk and had a fight also.... He is very very protective of his cell fone... never let me touch it.... he was sleeping and i got hold on it... there were few sms he sent to his manager and managers replied also... from there i got this doubt... I tried to talk to him but all fruitless..... after few months he got another job left them in 2 months..... this all happened for almost 3 years.... he got and left 4 jobs after a month or two... I have to work take care of our kid take care of each n everything... while at home also He was nothing but a pain in ass..... Morning I used to do everything cooking cleaning.... and evening the house used to be mess.... He just used to sit on computer whole day chatting or playing games.

I did everything I could do to support him to motivate him to get him out of depression to help him to find out new job.... He got a good opportunity in another city.... but due to past exp as he left almost 4 jobs in 3 mnths..... I really dont want to left my job... so we decided tht after a year me and kid will join him.. but as of now we should stay separate and may be it will help us to revive our straining relationship also.... If there was left any

after living apart life is more peaceful... more comfortable... more organised.... I'm kind of loving it.... but ya kid miss him.... but i think the impact he was having from our daily fights.... kid seems more happy and stable now........ but yes he was always good to him....

its been almost a year we are living like this he come once or twice a month....

I was having all his emails and bank accounts pssd which he only gave to me saying he cant save anything I plan better so i should take care of these things...
from past 3 - 4 month he has been behaving susupiciously changed his pssd not been sending anything to me not even a single penny.... we already had so many discussions and so many fights over this....... now its been almost a month we have not spoken to each other neither he has come..... In last chat when i asked him about his salary / job his answer was it is none of my business and he never asked me about my salary or my job....... and when i confronted him about changing the psd he said first you give all your psswds then i will give u mine....... I never asksed for this he himself gave me.... I told him i dont want any of your passwords.... but after marriage and having a kid you have some responsibilites being in another city im not expecting much... but atleast share some financial responsilbilties with me........ He promised but again did nothing... not even sent a single penny this month too....

I'm fed up of everything now.... its almost been four years now i'm taking care of each n every thing alone....... 3 years i couldnt as he was not having job... after having job every month he has some excuse......

for the v v long post.... can u suggest me.... what should i do or separation is the only wayout???

thanks for reading this... looking forward to some suggestionss

[king420]

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[k2s]

[quote name='HAPPYNESS' timestamp='1343670393' post='1302225379']
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[king420]

[quote name='k2s' timestamp='1343670421' post='1302225384']
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[k2s]

[quote name='HAPPYNESS' timestamp='1343670576' post='1302225392']
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[psycopk]

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[JUJUBI_JULABI]

[quote name='k2s' timestamp='1343670372' post='1302225376']
I got married seven years ago. It was a love marriage with parents consent. We were living in different cities and met very few times before marriage. After marriage I came to know about so many things he lied about. He never told me anything its slowly one after another i came to know. He lied about his salary. had loan on him, about his financial condition,, About being a drinker and smoker. He told me about smoking and drinking but in a manner that both are just occassionaly in parties or with friends. Had a huge fight over this because i already told him I hate smoking and smokers and he hid this from me. After few days of fight he said and promised he will stop smoking and drinking both. I really believed on his words later to find out that he still smoke and drinks but only takes care that i should not come to know about it.
These and many more were a part of seven years.. i kept on giving him chances over chances and he kept on repeating one thing and another after that........that includes a extra martial affair also... which he still denies but I read the sms in his cell and can never forget that... then too given this guy a chance as he was really for wat all misunderstanding i had...

Now it seems like it was my mistake I should have been more strong and rather than everytime believing on his lies I should have done something about it... He has a habit of lying..... and that too [size=5][color=#FF0000]siviour[/color][/size]...... so many times i have confronted him....... told him calmly.. tried to talk to him watever is there told me clearly but stop lying....... nothing so far has worked....
In between he has to leave job reason unknown.... but i have a doubt he has been fired or asked to leave because he went to office drunk and had a fight also.... He is very very protective of his cell fone... never let me touch it.... he was sleeping and i got hold on it... there were few sms he sent to his manager and managers replied also... from there i got this doubt... I tried to talk to him but all fruitless..... after few months he got another job left them in 2 months..... this all happened for almost 3 years.... he got and left 4 jobs after a month or two... I have to work take care of our kid take care of each n everything... while at home also He was nothing but a pain in ass..... Morning I used to do everything cooking cleaning.... and evening the house used to be mess.... He just used to sit on computer whole day chatting or playing games.

I did everything I could do to support him to motivate him to get him out of depression to help him to find out new job.... He got a good opportunity in another city.... but due to past exp as he left almost 4 jobs in 3 mnths..... I really dont want to left my job... so we decided tht after a year me and kid will join him.. but as of now we should stay separate and may be it will help us to revive our straining relationship also.... If there was left any

after living apart life is more peaceful... more comfortable... more organised.... I'm kind of loving it.... but ya kid miss him.... but i think the impact he was having from our daily fights.... kid seems more happy and stable now........ but yes he was always good to him....

its been almost a year we are living like this he come once or twice a month....

I was having all his emails and bank accounts pssd which he only gave to me saying he cant save anything I plan better so i should take care of these things...
from past 3 - 4 month he has been behaving susupiciously changed his pssd not been sending anything to me not even a single penny.... we already had so many discussions and so many fights over this....... now its been almost a month we have not spoken to each other neither he has come..... In last chat when i asked him about his salary / job his answer was it is none of my business and he never asked me about my salary or my job....... and when i confronted him about changing the psd he said first you give all your psswds then i will give u mine....... I never asksed for this he himself gave me.... I told him i dont want any of your passwords.... but after marriage and having a kid you have some responsibilites being in another city im not expecting much... but atleast share some financial responsilbilties with me........ He promised but again did nothing... not even sent a single penny this month too....

I'm fed up of everything now.... its almost been four years now i'm taking care of each n every thing alone....... 3 years i couldnt as he was not having job... after having job every month he has some excuse......

for the v v long post.... can u suggest me.... what should i do or separation is the only wayout???

thanks for reading this... looking forward to some suggestionss
[/quote]
Severe

[psycopk]

uncle ee topic ki mahila sangam nundi vachina replies full interesting ga untai... plz post those

[k2s]

oka fafa reply :

Hi,


i think the guy is a leech and a pig.
(analogy.........)

the thing is he had a affair and also he was not responsible enought to understand that you and your kid are also there and leaving so many jobs and behaving irresponsibly is an immature person.........

Well as far as i can see its only you who is investing in the relationship........

Nobody else can answer the question...........
DO YOU STILL WNAT TO GIVE HIM A CHANCE?

Just imagine if you had a daughter who was married and all this happened to her?

What would you want her to do?


As far as correcting him is concerned ......... I think he is beyond repair.........

Cause either he has lost his job or is living like a bachelor in the new city if you know what i mean.........

Other than that there is no reason for him to not take up the responsibility of home........

Hope i have been any help........

Take care

[k2s]

Fafa 1 Reply :
Walk out Lady!

I understand the kids part. As he is already only spending few days in a month, I don't think it would really affect the kid. You can always be okay about visitation rights.

He seems to be a trouble monger. You will be legally liable to any damage he makes, as long as you two stay married. By getting divorced there will be financial security for you and your kid.

Fafa 2 reply :
If I were in that situation, I'd certainly have divorced a long time ago. Of course it is your life and we can only suggest divorce, though you have to make the final decision.

One thing I am very concerned about.... You mentioned he was having an affair in the past. If he was willing to have an affair, there is even a much greater chance that he is doing such activities now, especially as him living apart gives him much more chance to hide things from you. So please be very careful about engaging in any sexual activities with him. If you can fully avoid sex with him when he visits you, that would be best. However, if he is sexually forceful with you, then please ensure to use a condom. I don't know what he is doing on his time away from you, and it would be terrible if he passes on some kind of disease to you. So please take proper precautions with him.

[psycopk]

lol... replies keka unai ga nenu expect chesinate.. okati kuda kapuram nilabedadam ani chudatam ledu...

[k2s]

[quote name='psycopk' timestamp='1343671121' post='1302225446']
lol... replies keka unai ga nenu expect chesinate.. okati kuda kapuram nilabedadam ani chudatam ledu...
[/quote]hehe........