Estory - 2 : Over-Analysis

[k2s]

fafa reply to all :



[indent=1]I am SO touched by all of your replies...all thank you all so much.

No I dont think he is impotent or anything like that...I just think he has very very low drive and he has ALWAYS been tense about his job (and lack of networking skills) since it is so competitive out there. By the time he reaches home he is exhausted. We have discussed about going to a therapist many times, but i am fed up taking the lead here too and fed up initiating the discussion every time. in the early months we have been fairly intimate physically but it did not lead to sex. And now we have a cold war going on most days and by the time i come to bed he is fast asleep.

I think the 4 reasons i mentioned are my expectations from marriage, they were probably my basic expectations , which were not met. I could not give the 5th reason bcoz my 5th expectation was probably a kind hearted, understanding guy and of course that expectation was met.

We knew each other for 7-8 months before marriage and i thought having a caring understanding person is ALL that matters and evrything else can be sorted out. But i guess I am wrong???[/indent]

[Terminator II]

[color=#282828][font=helvetica, arial, sans-serif]here is the actual problem[/font][/color]

[quote name='k2s' timestamp='1345142209' post='1302320560']
aa fafa reply to fafa 1:

I sincerely thank you for your response and your valuable insights. You are SO right, I am a bit self centered...other ppl have also said so. Posting to this forum been quite an eye opener for me since I have got so many different perspectives from so many members.

I just want to know one thing...is there nothing called 'chemistry' between husband and wife...??? Is having a caring husband enough?? If it is then I should shut up and not complain. [size=5][b]I have been in a relationship before and I do know what 'chemistry' is.[/b][/size]
'Canwait'....most nights I am lying in bed longing for a touch and my husband is fast asleep. I was tremendously frustrated for the 1st 1 yr, kept on nagging my husband to visit a therapist for both of us, but now I have given up. I feel I am more lonely in this relationship than I was before marriage. Is it totally my fault??

Yes I probably need to take initiative in planning get togethers and all...and the initiative 100% has to come from me... should probably not expect even 1% inputs/help from my husband.

Everyone on this planet is not so big hearted as you Srividya, that you commend those DILs who have put bedpans for their MILs. Most people would feel pity for the DIL and wish they were never in her place. And if there is one thing i cannot bear ..that is PITY. Sumtimes I feel like a stranger in my own house (if I can call it my own) when my MIL is visiting, she doesnt even like my touching the food she has prepared for her son. She is not very hygeinic herself yet she keeps on nagging and critisizing me thinking I will 'contaminate' stuff. Another reason is she keeps comparing me to her daughter (SIL) , since she is has a very successful, social and happening life. SHe might be visiting us for few months every yr, but she has to know every single detail of her son's life on phone and she gives the impression she is controlling everything in her son's life including 'wanting to buy a house for him in the US'...( and she is totally financially dependent on her son!! ) as if I am not part of his life at all and I will not be living in the house. Dont you think a husband and wife mutually take the decisions regarding buying a house?? If I do not have even that much right , then why am I clinging on to this marriage? To be a cook cum dishwasher??? As a well educated and completely financially independent woman in India before marriage, I feel I got a very raw deal in this marriage.

I am probably not able to find a job because the market is down. But as I said ALL of my friends from my field who have quit their jobs in India and moved to the US after marriage are employed by now. I am the only one left and sumtimes I feel that moving to the US was the biggest mistake I ahve made.
[/quote]

[k2s]

[quote name='venkatratnam' timestamp='1345142333' post='1302320583']
[color=#282828][font=helvetica, arial, sans-serif]here is the actual problem[/font][/color]
[/quote]

[psycopk]

haha.. emvayya sastry ippudu em matladutav.... nenu chepina kada.. lol

[Sastrygaru]

[quote name='psycopk' timestamp='1345143141' post='1302320712']
haha.. emvayya sastry ippudu em matladutav.... nenu chepina kada.. lol
[/quote]

lol.. neenu ee line miss ayya maayya..

[size=5][b]I have been in a relationship before and I do know what 'chemistry' [/b][/size]

ippudu baaga chence undhi.. denni batti naaku artham ayyindhi IL lo eese posts lo 99% andharu jump Jilani batch .. ee

[psycopk]

[quote name='Sastrygaru' timestamp='1345143367' post='1302320743']

lol.. neenu ee line miss ayya maayya..

[size=5][b]I have been in a relationship before and I do know what 'chemistry' [/b][/size]

ippudu baaga chence undhi.. denni batti naaku artham ayyindhi IL lo eese posts lo 99% andharu jump Jilani batch .. ee
[/quote] neeku anni detailed ga chepte principal leave letter accept chesinatu ok cheptava.. chessssss... anduke ee pedda rayduu terrpu ichina tarwata inka eduru chepaku

[Spartan]

[quote name='psycopk' timestamp='1345143466' post='1302320762']
neeku anni detailed ga chepte principal leave letter accept chesinatu ok cheptava.. chessssss... anduke ee pedda rayduu terrpu ichina tarwata inka eduru chepaku
[/quote]
Shastry needs some Sexperience re....

[Spartan]

[quote name='Sastrygaru' timestamp='1345143367' post='1302320743']
lol.. neenu ee line miss ayya maayya..

[size=5][b]I have been in a relationship before and I do know what 'chemistry' [/b][/size]

ippudu baaga chence undhi.. denni batti naaku artham ayyindhi IL lo eese posts lo 99% andharu jump Jilani batch .. ee
[/quote]


anduek seppedi.... its not always we generalsie...

kaani ekkad cheyalo akakda chesestam ...... enduaknte...a writing lo vibe ardham aipotadi ...where the relation is heading anedi..

[Sastrygaru]

[quote name='psycopk' timestamp='1345143466' post='1302320762']
neeku anni detailed ga chepte principal leave letter accept chesinatu ok cheptava.. chessssss... anduke ee pedda rayduu terrpu ichina tarwata inka eduru chepaku
[/quote]

genuine cases lo aithe neenu ammailaki.. suffort sestha.. aithe eecase endhoo naaku ekkada teeda kottaleedhu.. nuvvu sittodu .. chala cases lo ammailani oppose sestaah ani mothham sadivaa.. konni saarlu mee expectations tappu undocchu.. i can say you both would be wrong in 1/10 cases.. in fact chala roojul mundhu padda ilanti post lo naa laagane ammai vaipu maatladaru.. inko 2-3 members.. its just o compare and contrast how differnt ppl they in fornt of a siutaion and understanding ppl.. forte styles.. anthe..

[Maximus]

[img]http://lh4.ggpht.com/-E_N9i2dzEME/T-eKF56tqgI/AAAAAAAAHCE/TK84WaIiOVM/s150/PK-78.gif[/img]

[Anta Assamey]

Vammo ee PsycoPK mamulu vadu kadu.... Avaliste pegulu lekkapettey type la vunnadu... [img]http://www.desigifs.com/sites/default/files/bemmi.lol5_.gif?1290450399[/img]

[psycopk]

[quote name='Sastrygaru' timestamp='1345143759' post='1302320806']

genuine cases lo aithe neenu ammailaki.. suffort sestha.. aithe eecase endhoo naaku ekkada teeda kottaleedhu.. nuvvu sittodu .. chala cases lo ammailani oppose sestaah ani mothham sadivaa.. konni saarlu mee expectations tappu undocchu.. i can say you both would be wrong in 1/10 cases.. in fact chala roojul mundhu padda ilanti post lo naa laagane ammai vaipu maatladaru.. inko 2-3 members.. its just o compare and contrast how differnt ppl they in fornt of a siutaion and understanding ppl.. forte styles.. anthe..
[/quote] sitti intake munde deniki answer ichadu.. so ... [img]http://www.desigifs.com/sites/default/files/bemmi.lol5_.gif?1290450399[/img]

[Anta Assamey]

Generally @ SaaS3 Nuvvu Devudivi ... [img]http://www.desigifs.com/sites/default/files/bemmi.lol5_.gif?1290450399[/img]

[Spartan]

[quote name='psycopk' timestamp='1345143845' post='1302320823']
sitti intake munde deniki answer ichadu.. so ... [img]http://www.desigifs.com/sites/default/files/bemmi.lol5_.gif?1290450399[/img]
[/quote]


nannu irikistava...Shastry ivala munde garam garam unnadu.. kumesina kummestadu... [img]http://www.desigifs.com/sites/default/files/Brahmi-2_2.gif?1340079741[/img]

[Sastrygaru]

[quote name='psycopk' timestamp='1345143845' post='1302320823']
sitti intake munde deniki answer ichadu.. so ... [img]http://www.desigifs.com/sites/default/files/bemmi.lol5_.gif?1290450399[/img]
[/quote]
[quote name='Brahmi' timestamp='1345143853' post='1302320826']
Generally @ SaaS3 Nuvvu Devudivi ... [img]http://www.desigifs.com/sites/default/files/bemmi.lol5_.gif?1290450399[/img]
[/quote]
[quote name='ChittiNaidu' timestamp='1345143912' post='1302320834']


nannu irikistava...Shastry ivala munde garam garam unnadu.. kumesina kummestadu... [img]http://www.desigifs.com/sites/default/files/Brahmi-2_2.gif?1340079741[/img]
[/quote]

mee yenkamma.. [img]http://www.desigifs.com/sites/default/files/Brahmi-2_2.gif?1340079741[/img]