ManOnFire Posted September 3, 2012 Author Report Posted September 3, 2012 "Think about it - it's the easiest, crappiest music in the world, right? If we just sing about how much we love Jesus, all the Christians will buy our crap." - Eric Cartman
ManOnFire Posted September 3, 2012 Author Report Posted September 3, 2012 "Kenny's family is so poor that yesterday they had to put their cardboard box up for a second mortgage." - Eric Cartman
ManOnFire Posted September 3, 2012 Author Report Posted September 3, 2012 "Handle it? For two billion dollars I could handle my Grandpa's balls dude." - Eric Cartman
ManOnFire Posted September 3, 2012 Author Report Posted September 3, 2012 Cartman: "The poor kid passes it to the Jew, the Jew shoots. He misses! Proving once and for all that Jews cannot play hockey!" Kyle: "Shut up Cartman! Your body is bigger than the goal!" Cartman: "No, I just have a sweet hockey body."
ManOnFire Posted September 3, 2012 Author Report Posted September 3, 2012 "Well, I've been lickin' this carpet for 3 whole hours and I don't feel like a lesbian." - Eric Cartman
ManOnFire Posted September 3, 2012 Author Report Posted September 3, 2012 Cartman: "Okay, Token, give me a sweet bass line." Token: "I don't know how to play the bass." Cartman: "Token, how many times do we have to go over this? You're black. You can play the bass." Token: "I'm really tired of your racist views on this." Cartman: "Well then, get tired of them after you give me a bass line!" (Token plays the bass expertly) Token: "Oh, Goddammit.
ManOnFire Posted September 3, 2012 Author Report Posted September 3, 2012 "Why don't you girls wash dishes or get pregnant or something?" - Eric Cartman
ManOnFire Posted September 3, 2012 Author Report Posted September 3, 2012 (On the phone) "Hello. Is this the University of Colorado Biology Department? Great, uh I understand you're currently doing research on stem cells? Kewl, because I'm currently in possession of some aborted fetuses that I'm looking to unload? Uh, how much do you pay? No, no, come on, ah I got a guy who's gonna give me eighty dollars a pound right now. How about a hundred? Oh you're breaking my balls - I, I'll think about it." - Eric Cartman
ManOnFire Posted September 3, 2012 Author Report Posted September 3, 2012 "I want to get down on my knees and start pleasing Jesus. I want to feel his salvation all over my face." - Eric Cartman
ManOnFire Posted September 3, 2012 Author Report Posted September 3, 2012 "I used to think disabled people were here for my amusement." - Eric Cartman
ManOnFire Posted September 3, 2012 Author Report Posted September 3, 2012 "If you had a chance to go back in time right now and stop Hitler, wouldn't you do it? I mean, I personally wouldn't stop him, because I think he was awesome, but you would, right?" - Eric Cartman
ManOnFire Posted September 3, 2012 Author Report Posted September 3, 2012 "Kenny said in hell people speak Spanish and the water there gives you diarrhea." - Eric Cartman
ManOnFire Posted September 3, 2012 Author Report Posted September 3, 2012 Cartman: "All Jews carry gold in a little bag around their necks! Hand it over!" Kyle: "Jews do NOT carry gold in a little bag around their necks. Cartman! Stop playing around!" Cartman: "Give me your Jew gold now!" Kyle: "Dude, we don't have time for your stupid jokes! We're gonna die!" - Cartman: "Yes, but you can live if you give me your Jew gold! The decision is yours, Kyle!" Kyle: "Goddamnit, you know I don't carry gold in a little bag around my neck, Cartman! Whattaya want from me?!" Cartman: "I want... your Jew gold!" Kyle: "...Okay, fine! Here!" Cartman: "Do you think I'm stupid?! I know that all Jews carry fake bags of gold around their necks to keep the real bags of gold around their necks safe! Hand over the real Jew gold, Kyle!!"
ManOnFire Posted September 3, 2012 Author Report Posted September 3, 2012 "When Hitler rose to power there were a lot of people who just stopped playing... do u know who those people were? ...the French... are you French Clyde?..." - Eric Cartman
ManOnFire Posted September 3, 2012 Author Report Posted September 3, 2012 Maury, I am out of control. Yeah, I use drugs. I can do what I waunt, biatch! Yeah, I have sex, and I don't use protection! It's my hot body; I'll do what I waunt! I don't go to school and I kill people! What-evah! I'll do what I waunt!
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