Reasons Chicago Is Second To No City

June 5, 2013

[b]New York?[/b] Psh. It’s all about Chi-Town.
[b] Chicagoans don’t mess around, so let’s get right down to business… NO CITY MATCHES CHICAGO.[/b]

[img]http://s3-ec.buzzfed.com/static/enhanced/webdr03/2013/5/28/11/enhanced-buzz-12265-1369753826-0.jpg[/img]

June 5, 2013

[b] 1. We are number one in billionaires that started out as big-haired TV hosts.[/b]

Only Chicago could contain that hair.

[img]http://s3-ec.buzzfed.com/static/enhanced/webdr03/2013/5/30/11/enhanced-buzz-18186-1369929379-15.jpg[/img]

[b] 2. Number one in making the most out of our girth to cheer on our team.[/b]

[img]http://s3-ec.buzzfed.com/static/enhanced/webdr01/2013/6/3/11/enhanced-buzz-2379-1370272537-1.jpg[/img]

[b] 3. And in putting up with some real ###### to see these guys play.[/b]

IN THE MIDDLE OF A FREAKIN’ BLIZZARD.

[img]http://s3-ec.buzzfed.com/static/enhanced/webdr01/2013/6/3/11/enhanced-buzz-3513-1370272667-9.jpg[/img]

[b] 4. We are number one in making giant, shiny homages to food.[/b]

[img]http://s3-ec.buzzfed.com/static/enhanced/webdr02/2013/5/28/11/enhanced-buzz-8778-1369753812-0.jpg[/img]

[b] 5. We’re number one in handling LSD…[/b]

[img]http://s3-ec.buzzfed.com/static/enhanced/webdr03/2013/5/30/11/anigif_enhanced-buzz-18993-1369927776-11.gif[/img]

[b] 6. …ESPECIALLY in Winter.[/b]

Like that time everybody got STUCK ON LAKE SHORE DRIVE because the snow was literally falling too fast.

[img]http://s3-ec.buzzfed.com/static/enhanced/webdr03/2013/5/30/11/enhanced-buzz-17482-1369929136-20.jpg[/img]

[b] 7. We’re number one in having a mayor with only 9 1/2 fingers.[/b]

That’s right, Bloomberg. Try counting to 9 1/2 on [i]your[/i] hands. No? That’s what I thought.

[img]http://s3-ec.buzzfed.com/static/enhanced/webdr05/2013/5/28/11/enhanced-buzz-19746-1369753821-0.jpg[/img]

[b] 8. We’re also number one in having a mayor who will take your cell phone on the subway.[/b]

[img]http://s3-ec.buzzfed.com/static/enhanced/webdr06/2013/5/30/11/enhanced-buzz-26695-1369927732-8.jpg[/img]

[b] 9. And number one in protesting him with the cleverest of signage.[/b]

[img]http://s3-ec.buzzfed.com/static/enhanced/webdr03/2013/6/3/13/enhanced-buzz-13147-1370280043-37.jpg[/img]

[b] 10. We’re number one in knowing how to make a delicious-looking but also disgusting-looking sloppy Italian sandwich.[/b]

[img]http://s3-ec.buzzfed.com/static/enhanced/webdr02/2013/5/30/11/enhanced-buzz-17838-1369928211-3.jpg[/img]

June 5, 2013

[b] 11. And creating the juiciest bread to surround it.[/b]

[img]http://s3-ec.buzzfed.com/static/enhanced/webdr02/2013/6/3/12/enhanced-buzz-28633-1370275582-8.jpg[/img]

[b] 12. And pairing it with a delicious chocolate cake shake.[/b]

Filled with an ENTIRE piece of chocolate cake.
[img]http://s3-ec.buzzfed.com/static/enhanced/webdr01/2013/6/3/14/enhanced-buzz-22915-1370284364-18.jpg[/img]

[b] 13. We’re number one in covering popcorn with delicious cheese and caramel.[/b]

From the one and only Garrett Popcorn Shops.

[img]http://s3-ec.buzzfed.com/static/enhanced/webdr06/2013/5/30/11/enhanced-buzz-26724-1369928372-24.jpg[/img]

[b] 14. OH, YEAH… and number one in having the PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES hail from our city.[/b]

[img]http://s3-ec.buzzfed.com/static/enhanced/webdr06/2013/5/30/11/enhanced-buzz-26251-1369928541-14.jpg[/img]

[b] 15. We’re number one in dealing with some real ###### on the CTA.[/b]

[img]http://s3-ec.buzzfed.com/static/enhanced/webdr06/2013/5/30/11/enhanced-buzz-10374-1369929597-0.jpg[/img]

[b] 16. …and dealing with some really shitty puns.[/b]

[img]http://s3-ec.buzzfed.com/static/enhanced/webdr06/2013/5/30/12/enhanced-buzz-10411-1369929708-3.jpg[/img]

[b] 17. …and the craziest passengers you will ever meet in ANY city.[/b]

[img]http://s3-ec.buzzfed.com/static/enhanced/webdr05/2013/6/3/10/enhanced-buzz-2090-1370271167-1.jpg[/img]

[img]http://s3-ec.buzzfed.com/static/enhanced/webdr01/2013/6/3/13/enhanced-buzz-9474-1370279887-12.jpg[/img]

[img]http://s3-ec.buzzfed.com/static/enhanced/webdr06/2013/6/3/13/enhanced-buzz-8543-1370280075-1.jpg[/img]

[img]http://s3-ec.buzzfed.com/static/enhanced/webdr01/2013/6/3/13/enhanced-buzz-9467-1370280203-26.jpg[/img]
sorry , New York, but we’re the craziest.

[b] 18. OF COURSE… we’re number one in not messing around with our pizza.[/b]

[img]http://s3-ec.buzzfed.com/static/enhanced/webdr02/2013/6/3/11/enhanced-buzz-31565-1370271790-32.jpg[/img]

[img]http://s3-ec.buzzfed.com/static/enhanced/webdr06/2013/6/3/11/enhanced-buzz-27411-1370271817-31.jpg[/img]

[b] 19. We’re number one in being the place where Tina became a master…[/b]

[img]http://s3-ec.buzzfed.com/static/enhanced/webdr03/2013/6/3/11/enhanced-buzz-14110-1370273801-3.jpg[/img]

[b] 20. …and also pretty much every other hilarious person in America.[/b]

[img]http://s3-ec.buzzfed.com/static/enhanced/webdr03/2013/6/3/12/enhanced-buzz-13265-1370276428-29.jpg[/img]

June 5, 2013

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June 5, 2013

[b] 21. We’re number one in Michael Jordans.[/b]

[img]http://s3-ec.buzzfed.com/static/enhanced/webdr06/2013/5/30/11/enhanced-buzz-25697-1369928989-18.jpg[/img]

[b] 22. And Kanye Wests.[/b]

[img]http://s3-ec.buzzfed.com/static/enhanced/webdr06/2013/6/3/11/enhanced-buzz-17576-1370272326-0.jpg[/img]

[b] 23. And Bill Murrays.[/b]

[img]http://s3-ec.buzzfed.com/static/enhanced/webdr02/2013/6/3/15/enhanced-buzz-25802-1370289324-3.jpg[/img]

[b] 24. And Roger Eberts.[/b]

[img]http://s3-ec.buzzfed.com/static/enhanced/webdr06/2013/6/3/11/enhanced-buzz-17306-1370274310-22.jpg[/img]

[b] 25. We’re number one in waiting til next year…[/b]

[img]http://s3-ec.buzzfed.com/static/enhanced/webdr01/2013/6/3/11/enhanced-buzz-2144-1370273592-31.jpg[/img]

[b] 26. And praying the curse will break…[/b]

[img]http://s3-ec.buzzfed.com/static/enhanced/webdr06/2013/6/3/11/enhanced-buzz-28919-1370273595-0.jpg[/img]

[b] 27. …unless you’re from the South Side.[/b]

[img]http://s3-ec.buzzfed.com/static/enhanced/webdr06/2013/6/3/14/enhanced-buzz-8104-1370285124-18.jpg[/img]

[b] 28. We’re number one in dealing with the harshest winters…[/b]

[img]http://s3-ec.buzzfed.com/static/enhanced/webdr06/2013/6/3/11/enhanced-buzz-27283-1370273603-0.jpg[/img]

[b] 29. …and in being beautiful even when everybody is freezing and miserable.[/b]

[img]http://s3-ec.buzzfed.com/static/enhanced/webdr06/2013/6/3/13/enhanced-buzz-27320-1370279921-24.jpg[/img]

[b] 30. We’re number one in dyeing our rivers a disgusting color because we feel [i]that[/i] strongly about being Irish.[/b]

[img]http://s3-ec.buzzfed.com/static/enhanced/webdr01/2013/6/3/11/enhanced-buzz-32221-1370273604-26.jpg[/img]

June 5, 2013

[b] 31. We’re number one in weird art…[/b]

[img]http://s3-ec.buzzfed.com/static/enhanced/webdr03/2013/6/3/13/enhanced-buzz-13933-1370279543-21.jpg[/img]

[b] 32. …and in fully appreciating that art.[/b]

[img]http://s3-ec.buzzfed.com/static/enhanced/webdr03/2013/6/3/11/enhanced-buzz-12906-1370273612-11.jpg[/img]

[b] 33. We lead the pack in getting obnoxiously drunk and proud at baseball games.[/b]

[img]http://s3-ec.buzzfed.com/static/enhanced/webdr06/2013/6/3/11/anigif_enhanced-buzz-19542-1370274133-14.gif[/img]

[b] 34. We’re number one in refusing to call this building anything but the Sears Tower.[/b]

You can take your Willis and shove it.

[img]http://s3-ec.buzzfed.com/static/enhanced/webdr06/2013/6/3/11/enhanced-buzz-28910-1370273612-9.jpg[/img]

[b] 35. We’re number one in telling people how to eat their hot dogs…[/b]

[img]http://s3-ec.buzzfed.com/static/enhanced/webdr06/2013/6/3/13/enhanced-buzz-9082-1370280474-3.jpg[/img]

[b] 36. Because THIS is what a hot dog looks like.[/b]

[img]http://s3-ec.buzzfed.com/static/enhanced/webdr06/2013/5/30/11/enhanced-buzz-25773-1369929459-22.jpg[/img]

[b] 37. And yes, we’re willing to wait in this line for it.[/b]

[img]http://s3-ec.buzzfed.com/static/enhanced/webdr06/2013/6/3/12/enhanced-buzz-18247-1370276058-11.jpg[/img]

[b] 38. We’re number one in taking two hours to drive two miles.[/b]

[img]http://s3-ec.buzzfed.com/static/enhanced/webdr03/2013/6/3/13/anigif_enhanced-buzz-13933-1370280139-24.gif[/img]

[b] 39. We’re number one in having a hockey team people actually care about.[/b]

[img]http://s3-ec.buzzfed.com/static/enhanced/webdr02/2013/6/3/10/anigif_enhanced-buzz-31564-1370271277-25.gif[/img]

[b] 40. And bars that people have actually heard of.[/b]

[img]http://s3-ec.buzzfed.com/static/enhanced/webdr05/2013/6/3/11/enhanced-buzz-6619-1370274913-11.jpg[/img]

June 5, 2013

[b] 41. And number one in paloozas with the greatest view of any paloozas anywhere in the universe.[/b]

LOLLAPALOOZA FTW.

[img]http://s3-ec.buzzfed.com/static/enhanced/webdr06/2013/6/3/12/enhanced-buzz-28422-1370275628-6.jpg[/img]

[b] 42. We’re number one in giant ferris wheels.[/b]

[img]http://s3-ec.buzzfed.com/static/enhanced/webdr06/2013/6/3/12/enhanced-buzz-16364-1370276887-20.jpg[/img]

[b] 43. And streets that you can walk on without tripping over giant piles of garbage.[/b]

[img]http://s3-ec.buzzfed.com/static/enhanced/webdr05/2013/6/3/12/enhanced-buzz-10003-1370277029-24.jpg[/img]

[b] 44. And water that doesn’t smell like poop.[/b]

[img]http://s3-ec.buzzfed.com/static/enhanced/webdr06/2013/6/3/11/enhanced-buzz-24560-1370273601-3.jpg[/img]

[b] 45. We’re number one in having BEACHES RIGHT IN THE MIDDLE OF THE CITY.[/b]

[img]http://s3-ec.buzzfed.com/static/enhanced/webdr03/2013/6/3/13/enhanced-buzz-13151-1370279359-7.jpg[/img]

[b] 46. And number one in dealing with the laziest tourists on the planet.[/b]

[img]http://s3-ec.buzzfed.com/static/enhanced/webdr06/2013/6/3/13/enhanced-buzz-28422-1370279587-16.jpg[/img]

[b] 47. We’re leaders in having our transport ABOVE GROUND so you dont have to stand in a sweltering cesspool of human sweat and body odor.[/b]

…until you get on the Red Line.

[img]http://s3-ec.buzzfed.com/static/enhanced/webdr03/2013/6/3/13/enhanced-buzz-23878-1370280012-2.jpg[/img]

[b] 48. MOST OF ALL… We’re number one in places where people aspire and build and create.[/b]

[img]http://s3-ec.buzzfed.com/static/enhanced/webdr05/2013/5/28/11/enhanced-buzz-19749-1369753812-0.jpg[/img]

[b] 49. We’re a city of people who feel like they’ve always been — and will always be — right at home.[/b]

[img]http://s3-ec.buzzfed.com/static/enhanced/webdr02/2013/5/28/11/enhanced-buzz-8703-1369753813-0.jpg[/img]
[b] 50. AND WE ARE SECOND TO NO ONE.[/b]

[img]http://s3-ec.buzzfed.com/static/enhanced/webdr02/2013/6/3/15/enhanced-buzz-25214-1370288680-7.jpg[/img]