Nv Lol

[cherlapalli_jailer]

[quote name='BMW' timestamp='1371130344' post='1303852690']
A girl saw a man full of tattoo. Nike on his arms, Reebok on his legs, she was shocked when saw aids in his sex organ. He said: relax when it enlarges, it becomes Adidas.
[/quote]

[BMW]

Making a Baby! Pls read till end…
There is not one dirty word in it, yet its hilarious!
A Couple, Suresh and Reeta Sharma,in the US., were unable to conceive and decided to use a surrogate father to start their family.
On the day the ***** father was to arrive, he kissed her and said, ‘ I’m going to office. The man should be here soon.’
Half an hour later, just by chance, a door-to-door baby photographer rang the doorbell, hoping to make a sale.
‘Good morning, Ma’am’, he said, ‘I’ve come to…’
‘Oh, no need to explain,’ She cut in, embarrassed, ‘I’ve been expecting you.’
‘Have you really?’ said the photographer. ‘Well, that’s good. Do you know Babies are my Speciality?’
‘Well that’s what I hope. Please do come in!’
After a moment she asked, blushing, ‘Well, where do we start?’
‘Leave everything to me. None can guarantee a good one every time. I usually try two in the bathtub, one on the couch, a couple on the bed, even living room floor is fun. I try different positions, I’m sure you’ll be pleased with the results.’
‘My, that’s a lot!’, She gasped
‘Ma’am, in my line of work a man has to take his time. I’d love to be in and out in 5 mins, but I’m sure you’d be disappointed with that.’
‘I know,’ She said quietly.
He opened his briefcase & pulled out a portfolio of his baby pictures. ‘This was done on the top of a bus,’
‘Oh, my God!’ She exclaimed!
‘These twins turned out exceptionally well – when you consider their mother was so difficult to work with.’
‘She was difficult?’
‘Yes, I finally had to take her to the park. People crowded around to get a good look!’
‘A good look?’ She said , her eyes wide with amazement.
‘For 3 hours, She was squealing and yelling – I could hardly concentrate, & when darkness approached, I had to rush my shots.’
‘Ma’am, if you’re ready, I’ll set-up my tripod and we can start right away!’
…’Tripod?
‘I need Tripod To rest my Canon on. It’s much too big to be hand held ‘
Mrs Sharma fainted…

[Sastrygaru]

[img]http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-tNUt-7IvVq4/UYflB4TsRTI/AAAAAAAAEgs/PKqI36jIcIU/s1600/brahmilaughing.gif[/img][img]http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-tNUt-7IvVq4/UYflB4TsRTI/AAAAAAAAEgs/PKqI36jIcIU/s1600/brahmilaughing.gif[/img]

[BMW]

Why did Ranbir and Deepika actualy break up?
They thot, if ABHIshek and AISHwarya were called AbhiAsh,
Then what would be RANbir and DEEpika called. . . . .

[BMW]

For 3 Idiot fans:
Teacher:
“What Is A Condom?”
Aamir Khan Muskurane Lag
Jata
Hain
Teacher: “Aap Itna Muskura
Kyu
Rahe
Ho?”
Aamir: “Sir!, Wo Kya Hai,
Bachpan
Se
Iccha Thi
Ki Main Sex Education College
Mein
Padhu! Aaj
Yaha Padh Raha Hu, Bahut
Maza Aa
Raha Hai”
Teacher: “Zyada Maza Lene Ki
Zarurat
Nahi Hai,
Condom Ki Definition Bolo?”
Aamir: “Sir! Condom Is
Anything
Which
Reduces Population”
Teacher: “Will U Plz
Elaborate?”
Aamir: “Har Wo Cheez Jo
Population
Control
Kare!”
“Baccha Paida Nahi Karna Hai,
Condom Hai
Na”
“Masti! Chahiye Raat Se Lekar
Subah
Tak,
Condom Hai Sir”
“Actualy Sir! Hum Condom Se
Ghire
Hue Hai”
“8th Class Ke Ladke Se Lekar
Mujh
Tak,
Sab
Condom Ka Use Kar Rahe Hai”
“1 Second Mein In, 1 Second
Mein
Out,
In-Out,
In-Out”
Teacher: “Arre… Defination
Kya
Hai?”
Aamir: “Wo Hi To Bata Raha
Hu Sir”
Teacher: “Exam Mein Ye Sab
Likhoge?”
“Ye Condom Hai! Masti! Raat
Se
Lekar
Subah
Tak! Idiot”
“Anybody Else??”
Chattur: “Sir! , Condom Are
Between
Any
Combination Of Body So
Connected,
That Their
Relative Positions May Be
Seen In
Kamasutra..”
Teacher: “Wah! Kya Baat Hai…..;)
Amir khan returns back to class…
Teacher:ab kya hua
Amir khan: sir kuch bhool gya hu
Teacher: kya
Amir khan: sir,6 inch long,coated with extra protection,comes in out in out,throw liquid wen directed,cud b covered with cap,spreads wen rubbed….
Teacher : wat d u want
Amir khan: pen sir….pen… 

[BMW]

Adult poem-
Niple niple little star
can i u in my car
up abv ur breast so high
alwaz milky nevr dry
let me press it dont feel shy
open ur bra & let me try

[BMW]

When I Was a KID ~
PUSSY Meant a CAT
SEX Meant GENDER
BITCH Was a FEMALE DOG
DICK Was a NAME
BJ Was a NICK-NAME
BANG Was a SOUND
RUBBER Was Nothin But
a ERASER
ASS Was An ANIMAL
SCREW was Just a Fixing TOOL
** Was a SNACK ? (It’s still I think?)
HEAD Meant a Part of BODY
BALLS Meant a Round TOY
NUTS Meant DRYFRUITS
& then….I met you all and my Education got Ruined !!

[ILAQAT_MUFLIYA]

[quote name='BMW' timestamp='1371129475' post='1303852656']
Ultimate insult:
.
.
Boy and Girl went to a mall.
Boy buys a helmet.
.
Girl: Dimaag to hai nahi, phir helmet kyun liya..
.
.
.
.
.
Boy: Kal tune Bra kharidi maine kuch bola ???? =))
[/quote]

[img]http://stream1.gifsoup.com/webroot/animatedgifs4/1376984_o.gif[/img]

[BMW]

Airtel ke Ladke ne ‘Relience ki ladki ki Bra me hath dala Aur kaha
“aisi aazadi or kahan,”?
Ladki ne ladke ki Pant ke ander hath dala aur kaha
“karlo duniya mutthi mai”.
Utne mai BSNL ki chhokari ne Peticoat uper uthaker kaha
“ye hai desh ki sabse badi seva”.
Tata ki ladki ne “Penty” neeche kar Ke Boli
“2 sal ke liye incoming free hai’
Hutch wali ladki se raha nahi gaya usne peeche se Panty niche ki aur boli
10 rupye mai Chhota Recharge.

[BMW]

Do Ladkiyaan Aadhi Raat Ko bahar Ghoom Rahi Thi.
1 Ko Dar Lagne Lagaa To Dusri Boli,”Dar mat, Apna Konsa Koi Lund Ukhaad Lega….!!!!”

[Sastrygaru]

[quote name='BMW' timestamp='1371130521' post='1303852698']
Making a Baby! Pls read till end…
There is not one dirty word in it, yet its hilarious!
A Couple, Suresh and Reeta Sharma,in the US., were unable to conceive and decided to use a surrogate father to start their family.
On the day the ***** father was to arrive, he kissed her and said, ‘ I’m going to office. The man should be here soon.’
Half an hour later, just by chance, a door-to-door baby photographer rang the doorbell, hoping to make a sale.
‘Good morning, Ma’am’, he said, ‘I’ve come to…’
‘Oh, no need to explain,’ She cut in, embarrassed, ‘I’ve been expecting you.’
‘Have you really?’ said the photographer. ‘Well, that’s good. Do you know Babies are my Speciality?’
‘Well that’s what I hope. Please do come in!’
After a moment she asked, blushing, ‘Well, where do we start?’
‘Leave everything to me. None can guarantee a good one every time. I usually try two in the bathtub, one on the couch, a couple on the bed, even living room floor is fun. I try different positions, I’m sure you’ll be pleased with the results.’
‘My, that’s a lot!’, She gasped
‘Ma’am, in my line of work a man has to take his time. I’d love to be in and out in 5 mins, but I’m sure you’d be disappointed with that.’
‘I know,’ She said quietly.
He opened his briefcase & pulled out a portfolio of his baby pictures. ‘This was done on the top of a bus,’
‘Oh, my God!’ She exclaimed!
‘These twins turned out exceptionally well – when you consider their mother was so difficult to work with.’
‘She was difficult?’
‘Yes, I finally had to take her to the park. People crowded around to get a good look!’
‘A good look?’ She said , her eyes wide with amazement.
‘For 3 hours, She was squealing and yelling – I could hardly concentrate, & when darkness approached, I had to rush my shots.’
‘Ma’am, if you’re ready, I’ll set-up my tripod and we can start right away!’
…’Tripod?
‘I need Tripod To rest my Canon on. It’s much too big to be hand held ‘
Mrs Sharma fainted…
[/quote]

rofl rofl rofl [img]http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-tNUt-7IvVq4/UYflB4TsRTI/AAAAAAAAEgs/PKqI36jIcIU/s1600/brahmilaughing.gif[/img]

[Sastrygaru]

[quote name='BMW' timestamp='1371130560' post='1303852701']
Why did Ranbir and Deepika actualy break up?
They thot, if ABHIshek and AISHwarya were called AbhiAsh,
Then what would be RANbir and DEEpika called. . . . .

[/quote]
[img]http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-tNUt-7IvVq4/UYflB4TsRTI/AAAAAAAAEgs/PKqI36jIcIU/s1600/brahmilaughing.gif[/img]

[BMW]

Nurse lost her little cat in the hospital…
Nurse: Anyone got a Pussy? (all women stood up)
Nurse: I mean,anyone seen a Pussy? (all men stood up)
Nurse: No,no,no…. I mean,anyone seen my Pussy? (All the male Doctors stood up)

[cherlapalli_jailer]

[quote name='BMW' timestamp='1371130560' post='1303852701']
Why did Ranbir and Deepika actualy break up?
They thot, if ABHIshek and AISHwarya were called AbhiAsh,
Then what would be RANbir and DEEpika called. . . . .

[/quote]i think she deserves that cute name

[Sastrygaru]

[quote name='BMW' timestamp='1371130697' post='1303852703']
For 3 Idiot fans:
Teacher:
“What Is A Condom?”
Aamir Khan Muskurane Lag
Jata
Hain
Teacher: “Aap Itna Muskura
Kyu
Rahe
Ho?”
Aamir: “Sir!, Wo Kya Hai,
Bachpan
Se
Iccha Thi
Ki Main Sex Education College
Mein
Padhu! Aaj
Yaha Padh Raha Hu, Bahut
Maza Aa
Raha Hai”
Teacher: “Zyada Maza Lene Ki
Zarurat
Nahi Hai,
Condom Ki Definition Bolo?”
Aamir: “Sir! Condom Is
Anything
Which
Reduces Population”
Teacher: “Will U Plz
Elaborate?”
Aamir: “Har Wo Cheez Jo
Population
Control
Kare!”
“Baccha Paida Nahi Karna Hai,
Condom Hai
Na”
“Masti! Chahiye Raat Se Lekar
Subah
Tak,
Condom Hai Sir”
“Actualy Sir! Hum Condom Se
Ghire
Hue Hai”
“8th Class Ke Ladke Se Lekar
Mujh
Tak,
Sab
Condom Ka Use Kar Rahe Hai”
“1 Second Mein In, 1 Second
Mein
Out,
In-Out,
In-Out”
Teacher: “Arre… Defination
Kya
Hai?”
Aamir: “Wo Hi To Bata Raha
Hu Sir”
Teacher: “Exam Mein Ye Sab
Likhoge?”
“Ye Condom Hai! Masti! Raat
Se
Lekar
Subah
Tak! Idiot”
“Anybody Else??”
Chattur: “Sir! , Condom Are
Between
Any
Combination Of Body So
Connected,
That Their
Relative Positions May Be
Seen In
Kamasutra..”
Teacher: “Wah! Kya Baat Hai…..
Amir khan returns back to class…
Teacher:ab kya hua
Amir khan: sir kuch bhool gya hu
Teacher: kya
Amir khan: sir,6 inch long,coated with extra protection,comes in out in out,throw liquid wen directed,cud b covered with cap,spreads wen rubbed….
Teacher : wat d u want
Amir khan: pen sir….pen… 
[/quote]
[img]http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-tNUt-7IvVq4/UYflB4TsRTI/AAAAAAAAEgs/PKqI36jIcIU/s1600/brahmilaughing.gif[/img]