Darling999 Posted September 13, 2013 Author Report Posted September 13, 2013 [color=#333333]Boy: Let’s play the firetruck game.[/color] [color=#333333]Girl: How do we play?[/color] [color=#333333]Boy: I run my fingers up your leg, and you say “Redlight” when you want me to stop.[/color] [color=#333333]Girl: Okay [/color] [color=#333333]*Few seconds later*[/color] [color=#333333]Girl: Redlight!!![/color] [color=#333333]Boy: Firetrucks don’t stop for redlights[/color]
Darling999 Posted September 13, 2013 Author Report Posted September 13, 2013 [img]https://scontent-a-mia.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ash3/551114_215205345306712_2139961569_n.jpg[/img]
Darling999 Posted September 13, 2013 Author Report Posted September 13, 2013 [color=#333333]Guy: Can I buy you a drink?[/color] [color=#333333]Girl: , but alcohol is bad for my legs.[/color] [color=#333333]Guy: Do they swell?[/color] [color=#333333]Girl: No. They spread.[/color]
Darling999 Posted September 13, 2013 Author Report Posted September 13, 2013 [color=#333333]A girl realized that she had grown hair between her legs. She got worried and asked her mom about that hair.[/color] [color=#333333]Her mom calmly said, “That part where the hair has grown is called Monkey, be proud that your monkey has grown hair.” …. the girl smiled.[/color] [color=#333333]At dinner, she told her sister, “My monkey has grown hair.”[/color] [color=#333333]Her sister smiled and said, “That’s nothing, mine is already eating bananas.”[/color] [color=#333333][img]http://i39.tinypic.com/2zoxh8x.gif[/img][/color]
Darling999 Posted September 13, 2013 Author Report Posted September 13, 2013 [color=#333333]How do you embarrass an archaeologist? [/color] [color=#333333].[/color] [color=#333333].[/color] [color=#333333].[/color] [color=#333333].[/color] [color=#333333].[/color] [color=#333333].[/color] [color=#333333].[/color] [color=#333333].[/color] [color=#333333]. . . . . . . . . . . Give him a used tampon and ask him which period it came from.[/color] [img]http://i39.tinypic.com/2zoxh8x.gif[/img]
Darling999 Posted September 13, 2013 Author Report Posted September 13, 2013 [color=#333333]A little boy goes to school but bringing in a cat with him. Teacher asks him “why did you bring your cat to school?”[/color] [color=#333333]The little boy replies, “Well, I heard my daddy telling mommy when the kids leave I’m gonna eat that pu**y up.”[/color]
Darling999 Posted September 13, 2013 Author Report Posted September 13, 2013 Idi Rachaa [color=#333333]A husband and wife decided[/color] [color=#333333]they needed to use "code" t[/color] [color=#333333]o indicate that they wanted to[/color] [color=#333333]have sex without letting their[/color] [color=#333333]children in on it. They decided[/color] [color=#333333]on the word Typewriter. [/color] [color=#333333]One day the husband told [/color] [color=#333333]his five year old daughter,[/color] [color=#333333]"Go tell your mommy that[/color] [color=#333333]daddy needs to type a letter". [/color] [color=#333333]The child told her mother what her dad said, and her mom responded, "Tell your daddy that he can’t type a letter right now cause there is a red ribbon in the typewriter." The child went back to tell her father what mommy said. A few days later the mom told the daughter, "Tell daddy that he can type that letter now." The child told her father, returned to her mother and announced, "Daddy said never mind with the typewriter, he already wrote the letter by hand." [/color] [color=#333333][img]http://lh3.ggpht.com/_KVkPY2XIbRQ/TWAgXprYLuI/AAAAAAAABCo/VzL0ae41lc4/brahmi%20laugh.gif[/img][/color]
Darling999 Posted September 13, 2013 Author Report Posted September 13, 2013 [img]https://scontent-b-mia.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ash4/1234389_214841188676461_869349477_n.jpg[/img] [img]http://lh3.ggpht.com/_KVkPY2XIbRQ/TWAgXprYLuI/AAAAAAAABCo/VzL0ae41lc4/brahmi%20laugh.gif[/img]
Darling999 Posted September 13, 2013 Author Report Posted September 13, 2013 [color=#333333]man to attorney- i want to divorce my wife[/color] [color=#333333]attorney-"Please describe the incident that first caused you to entertain suspicions as to your wife's fidelity."[/color] [color=#333333]man- Well, I'm pretty much on the road all week,[/color] [color=#333333]So naturally when I am home,[/color] [color=#333333]I'm attentive to the wife.[/color] [color=#333333]One Sunday morning,[/color] [color=#333333]we were in the midst of some pretty heavy love-making[/color] [color=#333333]when the old lady in the apartment next door[/color] [color=#333333]pounded on the wall and yelled,[/color] [color=#333333]'Can't you at least stop all that racket on the weekends?'[/color]
Puri Posted September 13, 2013 Report Posted September 13, 2013 [img]http://i.imgur.com/iNRRj.gif[/img]
Darling999 Posted September 13, 2013 Author Report Posted September 13, 2013 [color=#333333]A Mother had 3 virgin daughters. They were all getting married within a short time period. Because Mom was a bit worried about how their sex life would get started, she made them all promise to send a postcard from the honeymoon with a few words on how marital sex felt. The first girl sent a card from Hawaii two days after the wedding. The card said nothing but "Nescafe." Mom was puzzled at first,[/color][color=#333333] but then went to the kitchen and got out the Nescafe jar. It said: "Good till the last drop." Mom blushed, but was pleased for her daughter. The second girl sent the card from Vermont a week after the wedding, and the card read: "Benson&Hedges". Mom now knew to go straight to her husband's cigarettes, and she read from the Benson&Hedges pack: "Extra Long King Size." She was again slightly embarrassed but still happy for her daughter. The third girl left for her honeymoon in the Caribbean. Mom waited for a week, nothing. Another week went by and still nothing. Then after a whole month, a card finally arrived. Written on it with shaky handwriting were the words: "British Airways". Mom took out her latest Harper's Bazaar magazine, flipped through the pages fearing the worst, and finally found the ad for the airline. The ad said: "Three times a day, seven days a week." [/color]
Darling999 Posted September 13, 2013 Author Report Posted September 13, 2013 [color=#333333]Mom: If a boy touches your **** say "don't" and if he touches your pussy say "stop"? Girl: But mom, he touched both so I said "don’t stop"[/color]
AakPakKarivePak Posted September 13, 2013 Report Posted September 13, 2013 [quote name='spidereddy' timestamp='1378414222' post='1304209142'] This is english...... Worth Reading .. This is an actual letter taken from the Times of India in response to a `Marriage Proposal' advertisement. Madam, I am one young gentleman living only with myself in Patna . I am seeing ur advertisement for marriage purpose in the daily newspaper. So I decide to press myself on u and I am hopping you will make the marriage with me. I am the son of my father & mother of agriculture family from inside Patna . I having no sister and no brother also. I become big in Patna only. I educate myself in the Zuarilal Himmatlal High School , Bezna Road . I am nice and big, six foots tall and six inches long. My body is filled with hardness why because I am working hardly. I am playing also hardly. Especially I am liking the cricket. I am a good batter also I am fast baller. Whenever I am coming running for the balling, all batters are running everywhere why because they are afraiding my balls. My balls are bouncing too much high. That is very danger for them.I am very nice gentleman. I always laughing loudly at everyone. I am happy always and gay also. Ladies they are saying I am nice and soft because I giving respect to them. I am always liking if ladies are on top. That is how nice I am. I am not having any bad habits. I drink milk only and no other bad things. I am not chewing cigarettes or eating gutka paan why because it not good for all the peoples. So I am not doing so. I am keep fitting everyday. Morning I am going to jim and I am pumping like anything. Daily I am pumping and pumping. If you want you can came and see how I pumping the dumb bells in the jim. And now good muscles are come outing everywhere.I am having very much money in my pant everyday and my pant is everyday open for you why because I am nice gentleman, but still I am living with myself only. What to do? So I am taking my things into my own hands everyday. That is why I want to press myself on you, so that you will come and take my things into your hands.
rapchik Posted September 13, 2013 Report Posted September 13, 2013 [quote name='DARLING...' timestamp='1378407957' post='1304208407'] [color=#333333]Husband says to wife "Why are you reading a recipe book if you can't cook?"[/color] [color=#333333]Wife says to husband ''Why do you watch porn?''[/color] [/quote] [quote name='DARLING...' timestamp='1378413908' post='1304209093'] [color=#333333]A blow-job is the only job in the world that can't be included in your resume despite years of experience and a number of references![/color] [img]http://lh3.ggpht.com/_KVkPY2XIbRQ/TWAgXprYLuI/AAAAAAAABCo/VzL0ae41lc4/brahmi%20laugh.gif[/img] [/quote][img]http://lh3.ggpht.com/_KVkPY2XIbRQ/TWAgXprYLuI/AAAAAAAABCo/VzL0ae41lc4/brahmi%20laugh.gif[/img]
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