Physical Intimacy With Partner

[Simple123]

[size=5][font=arial,helvetica,sans-serif][color=#333333]Mine is a love marriage. My DH kept on asking me and pleading for many years and finally I said yes. [/color]

[color=#ff0000]When he was my BF, he never ever touched my hands or never ever kissed me. When he was my BF, we went to movies together, long drives (after I insisted) but it was always like I was going with my big brother. No kiss. Never ever even slightest of the dirty talks. No holding hands unless I hold. No hugs ever.
Before marriage when I asked him, he said he does not want to do all this before marriage. I was impressed to see such values and got married to him.
After marriage, first 2-3 times, he initiated sex. Also 2 years back, he initiated couple of times. So I don't know if he is gay OR just an extreme unromantic guy facing ED.[/color]

[color=#333333]Now-a-days, because I know he is taking Viagra and the whole act is more mechanical than emotional + all other issues, even I am somewhere loosing interest in sex. [/color]

[color=#333333]I know I am giving too much of my private information on this forum but ILs what should I do I don't understand , whom should I talk to I don't know . I'm sincerely seeking help.[/color][/font][/size]
[indent=1]
[size=5][font=arial,helvetica,sans-serif]I got married 3 1/2 years back. Right from day one of my marriage I never experienced physical intimacy. We had IC but very few times. My husband was never so much interested in sex. Almost 2 years back , I realized that he is experiencing ED. I spoke to him. He never ever tells anyone his problems (any kind of problems). I tried to support him. after few months I found a counselor but no use He also went to a urologist and all his tests are ok. Testosterone levels are also good. But still we do not have sex. He loves me a lot. There have been very bad incidents here-n-there in our life but bottom line is he loves me. I do not know what should we do.
He is not physically attracted towards me. I am good looking (winner of few beauty pageants). I am in good shape. I have tried seducing. I have tried wearing various kind of attractive clothes but all these things don't seem to work. Basically he loves me but he treats me like a little sister. He cares for me. We are really like brother n sister 99% of the time.
It has been almost 8 months after his last visit to a doctor and he is showing some resistance in going there. He never discusses this issue with me at all. It is difficult for me to bring up. I have become 30+ now and everyone is asking me for a baby. I have cried. So my DH has started taking Viagra during my ovulation time. I don't know[b] if this way we can have baby or not ? [/b]
[b]What should I do ?[/b] I am slowly leading towards depression.[/font][/size][/indent]

[indent=1][size=5][font=arial,helvetica,sans-serif]How can I sit down and talk and ask my DH if he is gay ? That is not possible.
Even if I only touch the subject about sex or ED , my DH feels I am insulting him and he expects me to NOT TALK about anything.
example : if I even ask my DH about his doctor and what happened or when is the next appointment , he feels I'm insulting him. He gets very angry at me.
When this is the case, how can I ask him if he is gay ?

My DH thinks taking Viagra is perfectly okay and we should have baby that way, which would solve my problem, according to my DH.

My problem is just not sex. It is more than that. I don't feel I am desired. My DH has never ever kissed me just like that (except only during having sex), touched me in a naughty way or made me feel he wanted (I mean not the emotional need).

Yesterday, I started having a small talk and told him that I need to be felt wanted. He said I'm taking Viagra and that should do. I explained him and he said I'm watching too many Indian movies and he left.

ILs, I have never seen an Indian couple (like our elders) kissing each other. So have your DH kissed you or done any naughty thing just like that? Am I expecting any filmy stuff? Do men like my DH exists ?[/font][/size][/indent]

[Simple123]

Reply :


[color=#333333][font=Verdana, Geneva, sans-serif][size=3]Romance and Sex do overlap. So, making love is different from having sex. Your expectations are not at all abnormal. They are perfectly fine. There is also no confirmation that he finds other women attractive enough to get sexually aroused. [/size][/font][/color]

[color=#333333][font=Verdana, Geneva, sans-serif][size=3]1. Some men have a particular fetish. They are more aroused when this fetish is played out or indulged in. If there was one, he would have told you about it. Like some have suggested, try erotica or porn. [/size][/font][/color]

[color=#333333][font=Verdana, Geneva, sans-serif][size=3]2. Taking Viagra as a performance enhancer is fine, but there is a vacuum when it comes to being amorous and sweeping you off your feet. A kiss, a cuddle, a nice back rub go a long way. So, he seems to have some inhibitions. This is tough to address[/size][/font][/color]

[color=#333333][font=Verdana, Geneva, sans-serif][size=3]My DH came back one day from the sauna and confessed that he was aroused, when he spotted 2 men making out with each other. He was distraught with himself for 3 days and thought he was gay. We watched Brokeback mountain and it was a love story. No arousal at all. And he is definitely not gay, has no "performance issues" and sometimes demands more intimacy than what I consider normal. [/size][/font][/color]

[color=#333333][font=Verdana, Geneva, sans-serif][size=3]Do you have a psychiatrist in the family? Someone elder, who can counsel both of you and suggest proper treatment? And do you really want a child when you have such a major issue to sort out? [/size][/font][/color]

[color=#333333][font=Verdana, Geneva, sans-serif][size=3]I would recommend you to postpone your decision to have a child now. And I have a strange feeling he is a homosexual.[/size][/font][/color]

[Idly Vishwanatham]

Vachinava nayana simple nee style thread vesukuni

[BMW]

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[Simple123]

[quote name='Idly Vishwanatham' timestamp='1380215916' post='1304310917']
Vachinava nayana simple nee style thread vesukuni
[/quote]

[size=6][font=arial,helvetica,sans-serif]solluda .. [color=#212121]आप कैसे हैं . [/color][color=#444444]Que pasa? [/color][/font][/size]

[rakshakudu]

Paapa nenu beauty queen antandi why this kolaveri
Take a good vacation for a week for second honeymoon.thats it
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[ahimsavaadhi1]

Evadi gola vadidi.... okadu emo bhaarya.. mosam, inkokallu emo mogudu sukhapettatledhu.. inkokadu AD cinema release ticketlu ani.. inkokadu India politics......


chee evva jeevitham...

[ManOnFire]

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[Maximus]

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[Simple123]

[quote name='ahimsavaadhi1' timestamp='1380216420' post='1304311001']
Evadi gola vadidi.... okadu emo bhaarya.. mosam, inkokallu emo mogudu sukhapettatledhu.. inkokadu AD cinema release ticketlu ani.. inkokadu India politics......


chee evva jeevitham...
[/quote]

nuvvu ee technology lo work chestav .. how's life ..

[rakshakudu]

[quote name='ahimsavaadhi1' timestamp='1380216420' post='1304311001']
Evadi gola vadidi.... okadu emo bhaarya.. mosam, inkokallu emo mogudu sukhapettatledhu.. inkokadu AD cinema release ticketlu ani.. inkokadu India politics......


chee evva jeevitham...
[/quote]
Annitlo partcipate cheyyali Vuncleee answer plzzz

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[ahimsavaadhi1]

[quote name='Simple123' timestamp='1380216939' post='1304311102']

nuvvu ee technology lo work chestav .. how's life ..
[/quote]
Siebel ...

Mine was good and at peace Bro. How about u ?

[ahimsavaadhi1]

[quote name='rakshakudu' timestamp='1380217016' post='1304311112']
Annitlo partcipate cheyyali Vuncleee answer plzzz

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[/quote]

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Kudirithey cup kofee veelu ayithey naalugu maatalu chetnaithey coufling me dhad dhad...

Ledhu antey..

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Tata ,, anthey simple...

[Yuva Nataratna]

paapam vayya alanti vallani pelli chesukunna ammailu entha suffer avutharo....sarigga bayataki kooda cheppukoleru malli....

[AakPakKarivePak]

[quote name='ahimsavaadhi1' timestamp='1380216420' post='1304311001']
Evadi gola vadidi.... okadu emo bhaarya.. mosam, inkokallu emo mogudu sukhapettatledhu.. inkokadu AD cinema release ticketlu ani.. inkokadu India politics......


chee evva jeevitham...
[/quote]