k2s Posted June 25, 2014 Report Posted June 25, 2014 Hi A little back ground about my family - we are a middle class south Indian family. Dad and Mom know nothing about outside world, all they care for is our well being and studies etc. Also they are very orthodox when it comes to marriages etc. Me and my sister are always good at studies and regarded well by our relatives always. I had a love marriage (Intercaste) without my parents approval. 2 reasons why they couldn't agree to our marriage is we are still young at that age so they thought we are not serious, but DH and I are very serious about out marriage and career planning. They were forcing me to see matches etc and I had to take that step as I was not financially or emotionally capable of convincing them for out intercaste marriage at that time. but my DH family are very good from the beginning and helped us settle and now I can say we are settles well financially and my parents and relatives are all happy and we share good cordial relation with every one. After my marriage my parents are a bit too worried about my sister and fixed a match for her as soon as she finished her B.Tech. That time every one thought that was a good match, and guy was good , well earning even though the guys parents seemed to be a bit backward in terms of culture. However soon after marriage there were problems. 1. My BIL never wanted to mingle with my parents and nor would he allow my sister to do that. 2. He restricted my sister to not talk to me ever as I had an intercaste marriage and he also tried to restrict my parents to talk to me which they never agreed to anyway. 3. He had mutiple affairs with many girls. My sister came to knew of this on their first night itself, since then they had big fights with in themselves, but she never told either me or my parents for atleast 1 year. 4. Its been 9 years almost sine they are married and they are never happy. Sometimes her husband would say I would stop roaming around and sometimes he even admits and says its my wish and you being a woman are not allowed to ask whatever I do. He would beat her like anything - one time she had to get her head stitched and one time her ear has to be stitched. She did not tell all these things to us until very recently. 5. She is working and earning good but was never considered a family member and always as money making machine. He took many loans on her name , took all her gold and put it in his family member's name in bank. 6. She moved out of that house for 3 times so far and would stay seperate for a year and that guy would ask her to come back nicely for many days and as soon as she goes back he is his normal self. Same affairs, same harassing for money and sign for loans etc. Even though she earns about 1Lakh / month , she never would have enough money. 6. My parents/and me always adviced her to move out since past many years we helped her whereever we could. Especially my parents, they almost took care of her son for 80% of his time on his earth. My mom took responsibility. Another thing to mention here is my parents even though they started their life finally well to do, after my/my sister's marriage they had a very bad financial situation and could not give part of the dowry as promised to my sister. This was also one thing he abused her and my sister even now mentions as this as the reasons for her problems even though he clearly is an animal/jerk in all other departments of life. Never showed his fatherly concern for his own child. All though these 9 years even after many attempts my sister would say - I have to back to him eventually, how can I live life alone, let him roam around I don't care, atleast he has money. If something happens to me my son will atleast have money (My parents are good at taking care and love her son better than anybody, that's my opinion but obviously they don't have money. Me and my sister send some money monthly and they live with that. ) She gives money to them but always says your financial inability has given me this horrible life, I can't take you as a life time support. My parents suffered in silence as they are helpless unfortunately and I feel so bad for them , when they say that. Current situation: After 9 years of constant struggle now my sister agreed to divorce him and file a case against him last month. Now parents are taking care of her child while she is staying in PG and working in another city. She constantly has fights with parents and always hurts them with very insulting and reckless tone. I don't know what made her think like this but she always thinks like my mom and dad are not good enough to support her. I agree they have some generation gap problems with her like any parents / PILs living under one roof with us. She thinks in a very negative way like if my mom takes an old saree from her wardrobe and thinking its old fashion for my sister, she would have a big fight saying you took my saree without my permission from my home. If I try to discipline her son (he is cute but at times very naughty like any boy) she would be hurt. She thinks I don't like him as much as I do for my girls. But somehow my girls are silent and I also shout at them if they are being bad. The other problem is she constantly compares her life with others and says all are happy with their husbands. Everybody respects me and not her. (which is happening for real but we can't control the society, right? The more she behaves this wy , the more society would move away from her)Also she would always say "I can't live alone". The real problem is whenever somebody shows up knowing about he divorce saying I will marry she will blindly blieve in them and starts talking to them too long, and too deep. She would also give them her email passwords. This happened in just 1 month after her filing divorce. I warned her very strongly about this as that guy(unmarried) would say I like you but my parents don't accept a divorcee with 7 years son and still she would chat with him for hours sometimes even in midnights, says he is good and he understands her well. I can't just digest that my sister does this and get involved so much so that she shares her email password etc to a guy with in 1 month. When me and my husband spoke to her - she said she can't stay single forever and she needs companion. She can't get a better match as she has a boy , so she has to settle with somebody even if they come with problems.We said no body is asking you to stay alone but let your divorce finalize and keep these things on hold for a while as anything can happen in these matters and they can take longer sometimes. We can't make another mistake a this is her second chance and I don't know why but she always thinks she knows better and nobody else knows what is good for her. But she always keeps taking these kind of silly decisions and always make herself available for somebody else to pry on her. THis happened before also one of our relative told she would marry her , they both chatted for hours together for several mnths and finally he said, I can't marry you because I can't accept you coming with your boy. I wonder why this was not raised before chatting for so many days/hours, shouldn't that be her first priority? Another problem is- Last week she mentioned to the lawyer that she wanted to give away the child to her husband as they have more money and they can take care of him better. Her reasoning is my mom and dad always fights at home (They do fight but that's always verbal and more over they are facing such financial problems) Its not like they are physically abusing each other which happened to her when her husband would beat her everyday to sign for money infront of her son. She mentioned that my mom and dad can't take care of him and I have nobody to take care of him if something happens to me , so want to give him away. My blood starts boiling at her foolishness. Forget about me I was no where in the picture, that's fine if she doe not believe me. My my mom and dad literally played his parents role all through these years and I felt that its most insulting way she talked about my parents. I wonder what makes her think that her husband who is money minded and no moral values with those kind of family members (worst family in terms of their language, culture and they don't have any empathy for other's tears and find guys should roam around and wife's should keep quiet and give away all she has as that's normal.) I wonder how that's a good environment for her son. We are failing to understand how to convince her. I seriously ran out of ideas to talk ot her. My parents every day call me and ask me as if she listens to me, but I know how she back talks and never listens / understands why I am saying that. I hate to say but my respect towards my sister is slowly weaning off and find it hard to digest that she is trying to give away her own son, just so she can find a better match with out him, but situations are making me think like that. I hate to think like that about my own sister but I am seriously feeling sick when I think of her boy. Do we have any ways to get some sense into her? How to convince her divorce is not end of life and sometimes being patient is the best thing to do to get life back on track. I don't know I am lost. ANy suggestions please?
ipaddress0 Posted June 25, 2014 Report Posted June 25, 2014 mayya inkosari nunchi gisonti posts eyak.... janalu disturb aithar... neek timepass kakapothey paki pani seyi
Spartan Posted June 25, 2014 Report Posted June 25, 2014 Ask big sister to sleep with DH of younger sister man...problem solved....
Spartan Posted June 25, 2014 Report Posted June 25, 2014 intha sadavala single line plz Big Sister...intercaste married and financially settled... now worrying about her younger sister...coz her husband is not looking at her and roaming around with other girls... basic ga entante...ame chinna bava..ameni dekhatledu..vadi pellani kuda dekoddu ani cheptunnadu.....peddameki mandindi...
upendra_super Posted June 25, 2014 Report Posted June 25, 2014 Big Sister...intercaste married and financially settled... now worrying about her younger sister...coz her husband is not looking at her and roaming around with other girls... basic ga entante...ame chinna bava..ameni dekhatledu..vadi pellani kuda dekoddu ani cheptunnadu.....peddameki mandindi... :3D_Smiles: :3D_Smiles:
Spartan Posted June 25, 2014 Report Posted June 25, 2014 :3D_Smiles: :3D_Smiles: Upendara stylo cheppana....
upendra_super Posted June 25, 2014 Report Posted June 25, 2014 Upendara stylo cheppana.... upppi style as it is follow ayyav bhayya CITI_$D#
Moon_Walker Posted June 25, 2014 Report Posted June 25, 2014 Eeee DH ante Dikkilona Husbands endho...eee Indus Ladies gola endho...Etla raasthaaru ra ayya intha peddha stories ....
psycopk Posted June 26, 2014 Report Posted June 26, 2014 1)Parents should never expect money from their daugthers after marriage.. kavali ante dowry cut cheskoni chinna matches chesina parvaledu kani.. valla meda adhra padakudadu... 2)"She gives money to them but always says your financial inability has given me this horrible life, I can't take you as a life time support. My parents suffered in silence as they are helpless unfortunately and I feel so bad for them , when they say that." ee sollu rasina papa well settled ani chepindi kada.. mari valla financial responsibility idi chuskovachu ga aaa pani matram cheyadu... 3)coming to the main character... jarigindi edo jarigindi... future lo em avutundo ani tension unte life insurance tesko... continue in your current line of work.. matches vastai in near future..
chinni005 Posted June 26, 2014 Report Posted June 26, 2014 mayya inkosari nunchi gisonti posts eyak.... janalu disturb aithar... neek timepass kakapothey paki pani seyi CITI_c$y
k2s Posted June 26, 2014 Author Report Posted June 26, 2014 mayya inkosari nunchi gisonti posts eyak.... janalu disturb aithar... neek timepass kakapothey paki pani seyi why r u so disturbed man ?
Aadya Posted June 26, 2014 Report Posted June 26, 2014 amey parents ni support chesinatha varaku ilane antundi,elder one can take care of parents sFun_duh2 matches kosam baby ni ichesthunda husband ki sFun_duh2
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