Young Married Woman Reveals Her Horrible Story Through Facebook

[Tadika]

language ni batti Godavari dist la vundhi aa lady

 

atu vypu vallantha anthe mrgalla vuntaru manushulu chala takkuva mandhi

[Guest Lafoot_Mod]

bye1

[chedugudu_chidambaram]

not sure how true it is too.. but if it is true.. parents mature avvali baga

[idiBeZaWaDa]

Pelli roju kottudu endi...vurike bajarudi anadam endi...sumthng is fishy man

[Tadika]

bye1

was up baa

[idiBeZaWaDa]

language ni batti Godavari dist la vundhi aa lady

atu vypu vallantha anthe mrgalla vuntaru manushulu chala takkuva mandhi

nannagaru anantamatrana godavari vallu avvaru vayya...maa side kuda nannagaru ani chalamandi antaru

[Tadika]

Pelli roju kottudu endi...vurike bajarudi anadam endi...sumthng is fishy man

baa aa pill side nunchi aalochinchu konchem

[Tadika]

nannagaru anantamatrana godavari vallu avvaru vayya...maa side kuda nannagaru ani chalamandi antaru

aa slang ni batti chepthunna baa

[idiBeZaWaDa]

baa aa pill side nunchi aalochinchu konchem

i didnt say its sad man...but i think its not the complete story

[Tadika]

i didnt say its sad man...but i think its not the complete story

ohhkk

[dotnetrockz]

sad

[Guest Rahul_Pulka_Gandhi]

 

This message is for all the people out there who are spoiling the life of many girls in the name of reputation and family name. Families, who force young girls into marriages with men from the same "CASTE" because they think, oh wait... they know he is "PERFECT" for you. Families who force girls into a life of mental and physical abuse with this "PERFECT" guy just so their reputation in their so called society remains intact. Hundreds of girls are brainwashed and victimized since childhood to follow this pattern. Few girls who try to fight for their freedom are blackmailed, threatened, abused, tortured and beaten up and finally made to marry and live a false life hoping that someday she will get habituated to it and someday, her kids will be a way out of this.

I am one of those victims. A victim of the actions of a two-faced family who double-crossed me and my life in every way possible to make me marry this guy so that they can live a respectable life. A victim of abusive words and physical torture from a mom who was supposed to be on my side when the whole world was against me. A victim of mental and physical torture from a father whom I trusted the most hoping that he would be a way out of this. A victim of false sense of security from the family whom I loved the most. And finally a victim of continuous and forced sexual abuse from the "PERFECT" guy I married. But I don't intend to be like this anymore. I've accepted the fate of a few mistakes I did by getting into this initially, but I don't intend to do a bigger mistake by trying to live it through. I wanted everyone to know why I'm leaving. This is my story:

SEPTEMBER:

Until 28 th of September,2013. I was a middle class girl with a huge family, doing my btech. And now I am a wasted girl, who got force married to a so called nice guy, and raped multiple times under the guidance of my huge family . I have known this person since my childhood, got to know him closer when my dad mentioned one day that he was the one he wanted me to marry. Few weeks later when I was in college, he called me up and said I WANT TO MARRY YOU, BOTH OUR FAMILIES WANT THIS TOO, AND IF U SAY NO, I AM NOT A FOOL TO LOSE YOU, I WILL COMPELL YOUR DAD AND TELL HIM TO BRING U TO ME . After months of persistent begging by him and also because everyone liked, I went with it. A year later, his behavior started changing slowly, it was a daily torture, I saw he wasn’t the same person I got introduced to. Each time he failed an interview or an exam or even if he had a hard day, it was because I was THE BAD OMEN. After I cried my nerves out for two or three hours, he would start crying and say he wouldn’t do it again.

Even if I didn’t want to meet him, he would come to my college and stand at my gate and wouldn’t leave until I met him…frequent forced visits even during exams…scolding bad if I disagreed to it. 

There were tons of times when I had to cry and explain him silly things like why I was late or why I couldn’t call, and even when I cried he would blame me for bringing down his reputation in front my roommates, though I kept explaining to him that I never cry in front of my friends, that I always keep our arguments a secret, but not once did he listen…least bothered about me crying already, he would go ranting and scathing at me.

Everything was falling apart, and slowly I began to realize this is not what I want for myself.

And I decided I won’t take it anymore. I decided I will stand up for myself and not remain silent the next time it happens.

And when it was time, I didn’t stay calm, I made it loud and clear that I don’t want to carry this any further and that I want to consider my doubts about this marriage. I told him I want to give up. And then he came begging and was sorry, he would pathetically cry and ask me not to do it.

But as he saw that more relatives got to know that the whole marriage was final…he realized that I will not, or rather my dad will not consider dropping it off…no matter what

So began the torture, again, and this time if I didn’t listen to any of his desires…he would black mail me saying I WILL CALL THIS MARRIAGE OFF AND YOU WILL BE RESPONSIBLE FOR YOUR FAMILYS BAD REPUTATION.

I knew what reputation means to my family, because I was always told that if a girls marriage is broken it’s a huge curse to the family and people would look down at them and therefore family dies out of shame. I didn’t want to bring any bad name to my family.

So every time he said it, I was terrified thinking of my family, I thought I could fix it up. So every day, during the fights I had to run to the hostel terrace so that no one noticed me crying, I always tried to peace up.. and asked for sorry no matter who was wrong..but he never settled for a thing.

Things only got worse everyday…I couldn’t take the pressure and decided to go to my parents.

That was the turning point…a very deep one in my life

What happened from that day changed my life forever. When I was expecting love and protection from the very family I trusted, all I got was 4 days of swearing and getting beaten up and called unimaginable things. My father called me a "RANDI", "***", "BAZAAR dana". He said that there was no way that he is going to stop this engagement and marriage; that his reputation will be tarnished if he does any such thing now; that his reputation is more important than your life and happiness. Added to this, my mom called me the same words each and every day, beat me up, punched me on my eye at one point and threw me like I was some sort of dead animal.

The day I told them, they said “ ma paruvulu teeyatanike puttave nuvvu, andariki telisaka ipudu pelli vaddu antava, ne bratuku ee chaduvu challu, anni vadilesi intiki vachey “

When I explained them everything but dad said “ vaadu edava aina sare, memu oorilo andariki chepesam, so nuvvu pelli cheskovali anthe, tarvatha kavalante, chachipo….na kooturu chachindi ani chepukunta kaani, daani pelli cancel ayindi ani cheppalenu, anthakanna paruvu takkuva emi undadu, andaru nannu chusi navvutaru, na tala teesesinattu untadi…ranku veshalu veyakunta pelli chesko”

When I tried to explain, they hit me hard, my dad pulled me by my hair and took me inside a room and tried to strangle me, he kept saying harsh words and after some time I couldn’t see anything, all went hazy, thought I was dying..when I stopped moving I was woken up by hard slap. When I literally gasped for breathe my mom said “ aapu nee veshalu,ranku munda….” And hit until I stopped to feel my senses.

I crashed down and then came my mom , surprisingly she was crying and said “em matladakunta pelli chesekove ” and my dad rushed in slapped my mom asked, “Evadito padkuni kannave deenni”

And again she started hitting me because I was the reason my dad said those words.

My uncle came and the next day my dad disappeared to office.He made his friend come to our home.

He came and said that my father wanted to kill himself…just as they listened to it.. my uncle kicked me on my back..he started bashing me up and said “ I will kill you if anything happens to my brother “

My uncles, whom I loved so much until that day, called me words and beat me up and kicked me. No one was there to listen to my screaming and shouting and cries for help. My dad once tried to choke me to death. The kind of torture I faced from those people was so bad that I tried to kill myself once by slitting my wrist. I was taken away to Bokaro after 4 days with the reason that it will be bad for their reputation if people will notice the slit on my hands. Little did I know of what was about to happen.

OCTOBER: 

By this point I had no energy to even utter a word against them let alone resist physically. My uncle, Ravi Shankar, had put up an act at the railway station. He faked getting fits because of the pressure of the things I forced onto them. I was feverish, couldn't eat or sleep, had vomitings, was dragged from one place to another, beat up again and again by these people. Earlier at home, they promised me to cancel this engagement. But now, they denied saying any of those words. They went up to a point that they told me that I had imagined all those words. I didn't have an answer to their behaviour. I could see all these people of my own family lying to me on my face and I was helpless. I was being called prostitute by my own mom. I was slowly losing my identity and was getting lost in this madness. "uth re randi, khana kha", this was how my mom used to call me for food. For her, her reputation was far more important than her daughter's life. I was taken to Raipur, where the rest of the family was waiting to brainwash me. They tried to threaten me saying that they will kill themselves if I don’t marry him. Mom's family came and showed their babies faces, told that I will be leaving them orphans if I try to ruin the family reputation. Two families, crying and blackmailing continuously for days. And meanwhile my dad was threatening to kill himself from home. Later I came to know that he along with Shravan's parents were planning on making me agree to this marriage again. They made Shravan act like he is pulling out of it so that I will go and bring him back for the sake of my family. I had to. His parents talked sweet and showed me false love. They said that it was ok if I decide not to marry his son, knowing that I will anyway say yes finally. They made me call him and say yes to it again and Shravan was taking advantage of it. He kept saying that I was the one who called him back. And the next day all the three of them were here along with all his certificates. They along with my family had already arranged for the engagement and marriage. They were doing it from day one and I had no idea of it. I went and talked with him like I was the one who came back into this, and I asked him to delay the marriage for one more semester. I knew it wasn't going to help in anyway but I tried. We went and signed some applications on the next day and when we came back home, Shravan began to show his real intentions. He tried to get physical with me earlier in the day but I resisted him. He went and complained about it to my parents and all of them started freaking out and scolding me again. I din't know what to do. He took advantage of the situation. He took me into a room, threatened me that he will cancel the marriage if I didn't get physical with him. Two families are waiting to trap me in this marriage on the other side of the wall, and a monster waiting to trap me, physically. This was the moment I lost everything. All my dreams of a family, a genuine happy marriage, a LIFE. It was all gone at this exact moment. I gave up, I had to, gave up my body to a person whom I trusted to help me out, to a person whom I genuinely thought needed a better person than me in his life, to the people who were on the other side of the wall listening to my cries knowing what was happening, to the people who pushed me into the room so I can never get out of this marriage again. He saw the tears, he saw the struggle, he saw that I was helpless. I begged for time. A little time. But all my cries were meaningless. My tears were answered with anger. My struggle was answered with abuse. I was here being raped by Shravan, and my "family" was waiting for it to finish.

I had to live this life for a few more days. Dying in the shame of what happened. Amongst the people who had no empathy for me. With a guy who would grab any opportunity to use my body as an object of his pleasure. I couldn't to be alone. If I was alone, I would be sexually abused by him. I couldn't be with these people, because of the way they treated me and the kind of words they use on me and the fake love and affection they showed to me. I was afraid of the nights, because I knew what was coming to me every night. Abuse, torture, slapping, hitting, choking and rape for hours and hours. Each and everyday I had to go through this, and each and everyday, my memories, innocence and dreams were being replaced by tears, loneliness and nightmares. I woke up many times crying, having no idea of what was going on, thinking if I was naked or not, having no idea of how I ended up like this, hoping all of it was a dream, a dream that would pass away in moments so I could wake up to a normal life. And everytime I woke up to a sex hungry person feeding on me. I regretted having got this person into my life, regretted not seeing what kind of a human he really was. My life had changed forever in the days leading to the marriage. The very family I grew up in made my life a living hell.

OCTOBER 14:

The day of the marriage. This was supposed to be one of the most important days of my life. This was supposed to be a day to cherish for a long time. This was supposed to be a day to celebrate with friends and family. This was supposed to be a happy day. But rather I was among two families of animals without a hint of shame, laughing all along, trying to make the marriage look genuine. Being married in Arya Samaj to a guy who was a pathetic excuse for a human. My own mother and father were doing this to me. For their respect and image in the "SOCIETY". My family was fake crying as they were "presenting" me to the other family. I was being forced into every single thing. The pictures, the ceremonies. 

My health was degrading, I was at a point where I couldn't counter anything being done to me. Exhausted physically and mentally. And all of this was followed by Shravan using me again, even when I was physically ill. I wasn't spared a moment. Everyone took me for granted. He took me for granted. I was an object to them and they were playing with me. Two days after the marriage, I was taken to their home in Narsapuram. I was physically very ill and it was very much visible that I couldn't take any more stress. The morning we reached I wanted to sleep, to relax for a few hours. I was in the bedroom just trying to relax when he came and started sexually abusing me again. I begged him for a few hours off. I asked him to postpone it for that night, such was my situation now. I was asking to postpone my sexual exploitation for a FEW HOURS. He dint listen. At one point I couldn't take it anymore and I ran away from the room. And there he was, my father. He saw that I wasnt cooperating with Shravan. He caught my hair, pulled me to the room, threw me on the bed and closed the door. Mom was holding me up as he kept beating the life out of me. He was beating me up because I refused to give sravan a few hours of sex. And there he was, Shravan, watching all of this standing in a corner. He never uttered a word. They beat me up and left the room, he came to me and said sorry for evrything that happened. And in a few minutes, just minutes after I was beaten by my parents, he started using me again. I was there like a dead body, a toy for his sexual abuse and a punching bag for my family. For hours he used me as I was there trying to resist. For hours he used my weakend ill body to satisfy his pleasures.

This was where my life has come in a few days time. I myself now knew how it feels like to be dominated, to be raped, to be in a position where you just couldn't do ###### to save your life.

3 days of this and I was back in Vizag.

In three weeks I went from being a normal college going girl who wanted to set her life straight TO a secretly married, sexually exploited woman whose life got permanently damaged in many unthinkable ways.

Even after all the events that happened, when I was back in vizag, I was somehow determined to set this marriage in the right path. I was determined to have a good life because that seemed like the only option now. I tried to be nice to him for two days, I really tried hard to make the best out of the situation I ended up in, for my "FAMILY" and for myself. All the efforts I put into just came crumbling down to the ground every night. My parents were arranging for the "FIRST NIGHT" without asking me a thing. Shravan was acting like he dint know about any of these proceedings. He said to them, "Dont force her into this, we will do it when we want it". Dad and mom were still forcing me to get into this. Dad said " NEEKENTE PROBLEM,KAAVALANTE PILLS ISTAANU,KAANI NUVVU VAADITO PADKOVALI ,3 DAYS ". I had to hear these words from my sick parents, but I was assured by Shravan that nothing would happen.

But that night, when I was trying to sleep, he crawled onto like a sex hungry predator. When I asked him about his assurance from the morning, he said "Manam cheskunevi anni chepestama enti andariki". I couldn't believe it.

I was trying so hard to make this work and here he was ready to devour me. AGAIN. I tried to resist. He caught my neck, locked my legs and arms and went on with his abuse for hours. I couldn't comprehend the situation I was in. I was being beaten up, thrown away, choked, punched by the guy I married. I had to go through things I din't even understand in the most painful ways. Hoping that everything would get over soon everytime he entered the room. 

I had to silently put up with it so that they would let me go to the college after 3 days. I was supposed to give a seminar on Monday,so I asked him for some time to prepare for the same.I had spent every minute until Sunday with him so that he wouldn’t complain that I gave seminar as an excuse to avoid him. He left me for an hour and said “ challu le chadivindi,inka padkundam ra “ . I said “ the seminar had considerable weightage and that I was really unprepared,so pls let me do it”

He said “ tokkalo college, tokkalo seminars,memu chadivam B.Tech .its not so important “

But I wanted to study and in the process of begging for time to study,I came across to him as a rude person who doesn’t prioritse her husband.

And he threatened me saying “ Ela istaavo seminar nenu chusta,repu mng undi neeku “

Woke up to another dark morning,and he pushed me against the door asking me to do him….i begged him to leave me as I had a seminar to prepare for,then he slapped me and threw me onto the bed…I ran crying out and my mom slapped me saying “ cant u keep ur husband satisfied,you ###### !! “

I shouted saying I had been answering his needs the last ten days and all I asked was an hour to prepare,.. 

Though my mom knew everything that happenend every night she said “ He is one of a kind who didn’t touch u till now and u r being such a bitch talking rubbish about him “

And he said “ you are misusing the freedom I am giving you…I should behave in the way u r accusing me…” and he dragged me inside and said “ sleep with me for 3 days and only den will u go to college”

I was a walking ghost ,who got raped in the mornings,academic pressure in college.lots of undone works and unfinished lessins for approaching exams…when I would come back I had to listen to flood of violent words and my mom would say “ *** veshalu veyakunta,books paccani padesi vellu vadi daggarki “ 

I got slapped and hit brutally …and none of my shrieks made any difference to my parents in the next room..i was not supposed to voice out cus dat would cost me my education and also bring down their reputation. 

I've struggled to understand why any parent could do this. Everytime he became angry, I had to go through it all over again, for hours. I was surrounded by a bunch of animals, animals without any sense of shame. The same people I loved all these years are making me go through this hell and I couldn't utter a word to the outside world.

One day when he was taking me back from college I sat sideways on the bike because I was uncomfortable that day as it was my time of the month. He asked me to sit normally and I said that I was uncomfortable. He knew why I wasn't comfortable. He kept bugging me to sit and hug him. I denied. It started raining that day and on the way he stopped the bike under a railway bridge where the sewage water was falling from the top. 

He started torturing me again to sit straight. He said " Neevi naku antukunedatu kurcho, apude bike teestha". I was ill already, and he stopped us in such a disgusting place and I had no energy to argue. I sat in the way he wanted. This was the guy I got married to. 

Finally at the end of October, I begged them to send me to college and the situation was like Shravan was sending me to college out of his sympathy. I came to hostel and I cried and cried and slept through the pain I was in from the abuse I went through that morning. They got me a post paid mobile to monitor all my calls and they had arranged some people in the college and hostel to spy on my activities.

NOVEMBER:

Whenever I talked to him on phone, he used to assert that he was the reason i was still in college. That my family and his family wanted to stop my studies. 

He acted in a way that he was doing me and my life some favour. This went on for days. But I listened to it every single time. He started using abusive words on me everytime something went wrong for him. If I din't answer his calls because of some reason, if I din't talk to him properly, if I cried, if I raised my voice, I would be scolded with words I dint even understand until that point. One day I was having Stomach pain because of some reason and I couldnt answer his call that night.

He said “Out of all girls why only u get stomach pains? Aina vaste naaku cheppi padkovaali ani telida..mogudu ki cheppali ante vollu salupa…” .I explained how I dozed off unconsciously but he said I was being a careless bitch not informing him anything.I apologized a ton of times before he called my dad…He threatened saying he wont marry me on feb 5th.My dad panicked because that would lower his image amongst his colleagues.

He created such a mess for that that he put me up on a conference call with his sister and my dad and they scolded me because I did not answer his call for a night. His sister told that I spoiled the reputation of both their families. That I was the reason he wasn't being happy and content with his life, that I was the reason for everything bad that was going on in both the families. My dad stayed silent. He said "Pedha vaallu kadamma , chepindi vinu". He never stepped forward to defend me. Not once. Shravan then told that he dint want this marriage anymore, that he wanted a divorce. I said yes to it.

Dad one day called and asked me " Ela untavamma vaditho". Like he was genuinely sad about all the thing that he did. He understood that Shravan was ###### and that he did a blunder in forcing the marriage. He asked me to come home and told that he would support me if its required. He even told that he would try for divorce. He told me not to talk to him anymore. I went home after exams thinking that my parents would finally help me out of this mess. With such high expectation because Dad himself presented me a way out. When I went there, they assured me that they would get me the divorce, and they told I myslef should talk to them and break the marriage with them. I called, in front of my family. I called to Shravan and told him that this wont work anymore, that I would like to use the divorce option he gave me a few days back. Just when I asked him that my dad burst into laughter and said " Ma paruvu teesedam ane? Divorce kavala niku?". Everyone was looking and laughing at me. I was shocked that they lured me into it this to find out if I was planning on spoiling the OFFICIAL marriage that was about to happen. I had no intentions of doing it as I was determined to make this work all along. But they presented an option to me, lured me into the trap and then mocked at me and scolded me telling that I had no way out.

I begged my dad “Vaadu manchivaadu kaadu nannagaru,vaadi torture meeku telusu kada”My dad “ vaadu pedda boku..so wat ? you have noooo solid proof… to show his animosity. Well thanks dad,I was kinda hesistant to take pics but after u asked me for proof,I collected few piics…

Sravan started scolding me again telling that divorce was not an option and that he was just kidding when he said it before, started using abusive language. People were mocking me from one side and I was being abused from the other. I had no option. I said " Pelli cheskuntale mavayya, miku kavalsindi ade kada.". My grand father questioned me " If you were so wise, you should have stopped the marriage at Arya Samaj". I couldn't believe how he even got the guts to pose that question to me. He was the one along with all the family, who was pushing me into this marriage scaring me that they would die if I dint marry him. Dad said that his reputation was important than my life, that I had to live in this ###### for the rest of my life , that he doesn't give a daamn about the kind of guy Shravan is.

DECEMBER:

The preparation for the marriage started. Shravan came frequently to my home giving randaom reasons. One day when we were out for the marriage shopping(which was very painful with all the hypocriticy and shamelessness I was surrounded by: dad, mom and Shravan), he caught my hand forcibly and started to put up an act. He said that he was sorry for his behaviour all these days, that he would be better from now on. I knew all of these words were lies, that all he was trying to do was playing it safe so that the marriage wont be cancelled. It was a disgusting scene, lies everywhere and I had to sit and watch it with my mouth shut. He started crying when he was leaving me at the hostel but I wasnt going to fall for that anymore. All these people, their faces, words and their intentions were transparent now. He did this everytime when he was desperate, he cried and whined because that was his way of getting things done, and it was so so pathetic. I always wonder why I never saw all these traits in him before and why I ignored them whenever they happened.

JANUARY:

I was given time out of so called "sympathy" until January to continue my studies from hostel, and the time was up now. I came back home. One day dad asked me about my plans for the future. I said that I dint think of anything yet. I seemed a little disinterested. I understood that he was indirectly asking me to be prepared to show a smiling face to all the people when the marriage happens. He couldn't hold it in even for a few moments. He started hitting me again. "Pelli lo ma paruvu tiyake. Kavalante pelli cheskuni akadiki velli chavu ". After getting beaten for a few minutes I said " Meeku kavalsindi mi paruve kada. Sare cheskunta. Ee pelli cheskunta. Akadiki veli na chavu nenu chasta". My dad now called up sravans parents and told him that I was creating instability again, only god knows how he inferred that from my behaviour. The very next day all three of them came to my home. My parents told me to behave in front of them because they did a huge favour for us by accepting me as their son's wife(Yes. They did a huge favour by making his Son rape me multiple times DAD). I was with the idea that the last time the divorce thing came up, Shravan's parents also knew about it. But to my surprise, Shravan did not even tell about that issue to his parents and so now my dad wanted to pin me down even more by raising this issue again out of the blue. His parents thought that I got the issue of divorce all of a sudden now and so they panicked and they started crying(habits, now i knew where Shravan got it from). I understood that these people were just putting up a show before me so that I dont spoil the marriage which was about to happen. They created a scene again, with all their dramatic crying and showing of fake love, all three of them(I could see that they were faking it, but by now i've got used to it). My parents made me go and tell to them AGAIN that I want the marriage to happen because AGAIN they acted as if they are doing us a favour by accepting me. They knew my parents cared for reputation more than anything, so they took advantage of this in so many ways that I dont even bother about it now. My parents back off everytime their reputation is on line, and these people have fun using this to their advantage everytime, and Shravan uses it to make me sleep with him everytime. This was the situation, and I was supposed to live this life until I die.

FEBRUARY:

The time has come and I had no energy to go through it all over again with this guy and my family. All the fake happiness, fake celebrations, fake people surrounding me. Hell was waiting for me. With all the exhaustion and frustation, I was unable to remain aesthetically pleasing for the people visiting the marriage ceremonies, like my dad wanted me to be. One day before marriage, I was changing my clothes when suddenly my dad, mom and uncle barged in when I had barely anything to wear. They barged in to scold me that I wasn't smiling, that people were beginning to doubt the genuinity of the marriage, that the marriage doesnt look complete. How the hell is it supposed to look complete when im being forced into this hell for life??? I had to endure this pain for 1 long week. From February 1st until that weekend I was being forced into every ceremony all over again. It was so painful to even be near him, pose to the pictures with him, hold his hands and walk the steps, play the games. This was not how I imagined my marriage would be. Not in a millions years. I was standing beside a man who raped me for nights and I was posing for pictures with him.

We went to his parents home in Narsapuram after the marriage and reception. His sister and my mom were planning to arrange the FIRST NIGHT. AGAIN!! And they dint even intimate me after all these days. AGAIN. They were acting suspicious and were making arrangements without asking me. They knew I wanted time until I finished my graduation. I accepted for marriage, I slept with him, I did everything they forced me to do, and yet they were so shameless. Shamelessy making jokes with Shravan and grinning when I was just standing there helpless. He knew that they were planning it, but he never stopped a thing. That night he forced himself onto me again, like nothing ever happened. He was least bothered about me resisting and crying that he tried desperately for hours and hours. This time I put up a fight but that weakened me so much that I fell sick again the next few days. 

The next day he became frustrated with me resisting him. I was working on my laptop on a project when he came and shut the laptop screen on my hands with force. It was so painful. He started acting so sick again saying I was giving more priority to work. He spilt water on the floor and forced me to clean it up. He caught me, removed my sweater and threw it on the water he spilt and he went away. He was trying to dominate me again. The very night we had to travel in the cold, and I was without my sweater and this made me weaker. I was getting worse physically everyday, just hoping that all of this would end soon. 

I was taken to Ranchi, his place. Here I saw the real face of his mom. One morning, I was really hungry and so I wanted to have some food. But she put up a rule that the daughter in law shouldn’t eat anything without praying to god.She knew I was under medication and had to take tablets early morning. I realized now that even she is trying to establish authority in the house. I ignored her harsh behaviour and went to prepare some hot water for bath but when I was back, she used up the hot water I was waiting for. My hunger has now become uncontrollable. I became a victim of people wanting to show authority now. His mom at home, he at night. He became so pathetic during the nights that when I was ill and suffered from fever and vomiting,he woke me up at 3 AM and did bad things to me., he said " You need not do anything, Just stay calm" and he did it to himself shamelessly beside me. This is the kind of guy Shravan is. For all the people who fail to see his real character. A few days of this and I was back at home.

One of mom's uncle passed away in february. And my dad said " Ni pelli ki vache poyade. Sheni moham ve nuvvu". 

Mom's brother visited home one day and dad shamelessly discussed with him that I wasnt allowing Shravan to do stuff to me and that I was more interested in making a career.And my uncle said “ I bet my life no one would ever give job to a girl like dis. If anyone offers this bitch a job I will sell everything that I have”

MARCH:

He started coming to Vizag every other weekend now that the marriage was official. Irrespective of how I was, how much workload I had. His desparation stooped down to whole new levels during this month. He would come every weekend giving stupid reasons just to satisfy his pleasures, knowing that I couldn't do a single thing about it. If I rejected, he would cry, whine and complain to my parents and then they would beat me up. I had to shut up every weekend and had to become a victim of his indecent and rude activities, hoping that the weekend would end soon. One day he came for a photoshoot because he wanted more pictures to create "MEMORIES". I knew that this was a bullshit reason and that he wanted to come to feed on me again. When I couldnt smile for the pictures, he tortured me physically and mentally. And it was followed by another night of shameless acts. One weekend, I had my farewell and the very next morning I was very tired. I woke up and found myself half naked lying on the bed with Shravan using me. He was using me when I was asleep and tired of exhaustion. I had no energy to resist. This became a very frequent thing for me and I just closed my eyes and cried for hours until he was finished. My family was just outside the door and here he was behaving in such a vulgar manner and no one came to stop him. This was the kind of family I was born into. I was tired from this and I took a nap for just half hour when my mom woke me up and started scolding me that I wasnt being a good wife to him. That I was sleeping when he was leaving, that I should spend as much time with him as possible. Shravan was as usual standing there and remained silent even though just minutes before he was satisying himself by feeding on me.

APRIL:

One day, out of the blue again, my dad started whining about what I did to his life again. Few weeks ago during one of the fights, they threatened me that they would stop my college. I raised my voice back at them and said that no one has the right to stop my academics, that I would take police action if anyone attempted to do so. He brought back that issue and started threatening me again that he would not care about police or any other people willing to help me, that he would even go to the extent of killing anyone who comes in his path. He said that my life was a favour done by him out of sympathy. He said that I had no identity. " You were nothing but my daughter until now. You will be nothing but his wife from now". He asked me return all of his money that he paid for me through the years. He told me not to even think of doing any job or becoming an independent woman. " I hate independent women. Nuvu alanti BOKU VESHALU veyaku. Pelli cheskotam, aadiki nachinatu undatam, pillalni kanatam, idhe oka paddhati gala aadapilla life ante". I always sympathised for all the women who went through tough times when they were looked down upon as nothing but sexual objects and children bearing machines. And now I was living one such life.

MAY:

I tried to be good to mom because these were the last days with her, though I lost every bit of love and care for her because of the things she did to me. 

But she started talking about how I was "SUPPOSED" to be with Shravan. " Emana adigithe chesey. Tablets untai so problem undadhu. AINA NIKU IVANNI BAGA TELISE UNTADILE". She looked at me and talked to me like I was a prostitute. I got fed up of her behaviour and walked away from her. She began complaining about it to dad every other day.

One day Mom started it all over again. Apparantly, Shravan wasn't happy because of the way I was behaving with him. Shravan, that douche wisely triggered it. And mom, took advantage of it. She began to ask me questions in such a vulgar and uncomfortable way. " TOUCH CHEYANISTHUNNAVA? MAHA AITHE EMCHESI UNTADU, BLOUSE LO LANGA LO CHEYA PETI UNTADU, NAAKI UNTADU. ANTHAKANNA EMI CHEYADU AADU, ANTHA MANCHODU". Dad started asking me " ASALA INKA VIRGIN GA ENDUKU UNAV?". He called Shravan and started asking him too and he answered their question like it was nothing weird. " CHESA BAVAGARU. LANGA LO AND BLOUSE LO CHEYA PETA. AND NAAKA". These people were discussing such unspeakable things so shamelessly before me. The way they talked was vile and sickening . I started shouting at them too " NUVU EKADA ANUKUNTUNAVO AKADA KUDA VEELLU PETI NAKADU AMMA. ANNI VINIPINCHAY KADA INTLO UNAPUDU. EM TELIYANATU MATLADUTUNAV". Dad lost it there and started beating me up again. This was the most violent beating I went through. He lifted me up and threw me away, broke my mobile, dragged me on the floor, choked my neck, punched me everywhere, sat one me, applied his body force on my chest and slapped me like an animal, caught the chain I was wearing and tore it away. At the end of it, I was with a severely injured elbow and foot which pains even now, a heavily bruised neck and body pains everywhere. When everything finished, mom came and said to me the next day " Ninnu kottina thittina meme kadamma chivariki ninnu chuskunedi. Emi anukoku, manasulo petukoku". Dad said " Intha age vachindi, ninnu nuvu protect cheskoleva?". I dont know what they were trying to do but little did they know that I had totally lost my faith and love in them. That I no longer considered them my parents. I had no parents, and I had no family.

Mom said “ ippudu ma value telide neeku, mee atta maavalu ninnu raachi rampalu pedtaru, one year lo nuvvu tirigi edchukuntu naa daggara ki vastav, em anukuntnavo, kanipinchinantha mancholu em kaaru “

That was my mom challenging me that I would have a hopeless future and that she knew what was coming. 

People at college would ask me why I was limbing? What was wrong with my leg? Why is my phone shattered into pieces?

I had to struggle hard not to cry there and always made up stories saying I slipped off the stairs and so sprained my elbow.

Sometimes I also had to answer my friends as to why I was wearing a sweater on such a hot day.friends mocked saying I was weak and that I catch cold easily.But no…IT WAS NOT COLD…IT WAS TO HIDE THE SCARS THAT THESE MONSTEROUS PEOPLE LEFT ON MY BODY…THE SCARS HE GAVE ME…THERE WERE MY BLOODY HANDS INSIDE THE OVERCOAT. I couldn’t expose them because that would defame these people.

I was glad that I was going out of this filthy place soon. End of May and I was forced into moving to Ranchi again. Immediately after exams, even though I had some clearance work to do in college. I was happy to leave that hell called HOME permanently. But I went into a much darker place now. One month in ranchi, spending dark and helpless days with an animal. One month of living with a sick bastard who wanted nothing but sex. One month of disgusting and excruciating nights and equally painful days. One month of being forced into everything. One month of being physically raped. One month of my life being raped by the customs and values and restricitions of the SOCIETY. And a whole life of painfully unforgettable memories and nightmares. 

I was just waiting for my time. I knew that this was not going to be my life. I knew that I would come out of this long ago when my own parents betrayed me. I was just waiting for the moment, for the traction. To stand up for myself and lead an independent life. A life where I was the master of my own choices, where I would not be played with again ever. A life of self respect and true FREEDOM. And now is the moment. I no longer intend to stay silent and bear the actions of the remorseless and visious person I married. I no longer intend to be used as a means of sexual objectification. I no longer intend to take stupid decisions influenced by a sanctimonius, self-centered, hypocritical bunch of idiots that I used to call my FAMILY. I decided to take things into my own hands now hoping that I will be helped and accepted by the people wherever I go.

P.S to sravan

You crushed my spirit and made me helpless...you will not be forgiven nor ever be accepted....

You killed the girl i was...and i wont ever be the same again..

My dreams are shattered,my body wounded and my soul is scarred and it hurts to know that it wont ever heal...

When you were near u always raped me and when you went away,i got raped in my dreams...i prayed to got for one dreamless night...

There was not a single night when i slept in peace...I woke up in the middle of the night crying and shouting for help...and friends around me stared at me as they had no clue of what happened ..i couldn’t tell them a thing, so I always had to run away to terrace and lock myself up...

I hope everyone of you who is reading this knows that there are many more families out there who are probably doing the same thing to your life. I was a firm believer that family must always come first , no matter what the situation is. I even tried to hold on to it for a few months into the marriage. But sadly I was the only one who wanted it so badly, and I ended up feeling like a fool for trying so hard. My family used me, Shravan used me. They used me in ways that deserve to be seen by everyone around them. They got away with it all these years and they did this to me thinking they would get away with it again. NO. THIS HAS TO END NOW. I WAS BETRAYED AND BROKEN BEYOND A POINT OF NO RETURN. SO HERE I AM, DECIDING TO END THIS FOREVER. I AM LEAVING THIS PATHETIC LIFE AND MARRIAGE(I never considered it as one) BEHIND. I DO NOT WANT PEOPLE SEARCHING FOR ME. I REQUEST YOU TO SPREAD THIS MESSAGE TO AS MANY PEOPLE AS POSSIBLE SO THAT MY FAMILY CAN FINALLY FACE THE CONSEQUENCES OF THE THINGS THEY DID ALL THESE YEARS. I REQUEST YOU TO HELP ME STAY AWAY FROM THE CRUELTY OF THESE PEOPLE. I DO NOT WANT ANY POLICE CASE ON ME AS I AM GOING OUT OF THIS VOLUNTARILY. I AM NOT BEING KIDNAPPED BY ANYONE OR I AM NOT BEING FORCED BY ANYONE TO TAKE THIS DECISION. IT IS ENTIRELY OUT OF MY CONSCIENCE AND DO NOT WANT ANYTHING TO DO WITH THESE PEOPLE EVER IN MY LIFE AGAIN. I DO NOT HAVE ANY PROOFS TO SHOW THAT I WAS RAPED OR ABUSED AND I WAS EVEN MOCKED BY MY FATHER ABOUT THIS ONCE. HE SAID THAT I WAS HELPLESS AS I WOULD NOT BE ABLE TO PROVE ANYTHING. BUT I WILL COME BACK SOMEDAY WHEN IM WELL PREPARED. I WILL FIGHT FOR THE DIVORCE AND I WILL GET RID OF SRAVAN AND THESE BUNCH OF PEOPLE FOREVER. 

I THANK YOU ALL FOR GIVING ME YOUR TIME. I HOPE THAT YOU GOT THE MESSAGE I WANTED TO CONVEY. PLEASE DO NOT STAY SILENT IF YOU ARE BEING FORCED INTO ANYTHING, BOTH MEN AND WOMEN. YOU CAN ONLY SACRIFICE YOURSELF TO A CERTAIN EXTENT. BEYOND THAT, ITS NOT WORTH THE PAIN EVEN IF IT IS YOUR FAMILY. IT IS NOT A FAMILY IF IT KILLS YOUR DREAMS AND MAKES YOU VULNERABLE TO PAIN FOR USING IT TO THEIR ADVANTAGE. I KNOW MY PARENTS DO NOT DESERVE ME. SRAVAN DESERVES NOTHING SHORT OF TOTAL HUMILIATION. I VERY MUCH HOPE THAT THEY FACE THE CONSEQUENCES SOMEDAY. 

A honest letter written with pain. This is me starting a new life. 

Alekya. 

This was my SECRET WEDDING ON 14 OCT, I was nothing less to a walking ghost then

 

The public marriage to show off :feb 5th

 

And finally This is what they did to me…beating me up to death and also refusing medical treatement until their nail marks left my body..Thats how he behaved with me.

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EE information ekkada dorikindi bhayya neeku... papam

[vadapav]

EE information ekkada dorikindi bhayya neeku... papam

https://www.facebook.com/permalink.php?story_fbid=268803403321160&id=100005745075815

[darthvader]

sad

[chandra916]

expect chesinatte vizag ammyi ane anukunna video lo voice vinna ventane......... ee voice vintunte naaku evaro thlisina ammayi lane vundhi vayyy...

but very sad