Jokes

[biscuitRAJA000]

Wife was sure that her husband was having Sex with the maid so she laid a trap.

1 evening she suddenly sent the maid home for weekend & didnt tell husband.

That night when they went to bed, the husband gave old story - Excuse me my dear, my stomach is aching & went to bathroom. The wife promptly went into maid's bed. She switched the lights off.
He came in silently,
he wasted no time on words but quickly started Sex..

When he finished, Wife said -
U didn't expect me in this bed, did u..?
& switched on the light...!

No Madam, said the Watchman...!

MORAL: Sometimes getting too smart can get you f****d..!!!

[ManOnFire]

A fifth grader looked downcast, so her teacher asked. “What’s the problem Carol? I hope it’s not homework again.”

“Well, uh, yes, it is,” replied Carol “I was stupid and made my homework paper into a paper airplane.”

“Carol, you’re right, that wasn’t a very bright thing to do,” said the teacher, “but his once I’ll let your just unfold the paper and hand it in.”

“Oh, but that won’t work,” said Carol, looking even sadder.

“You see, the plane was hijacked!”

[ManOnFire]

A Sunday school teacher asked her little children, as they were on the way to church service,

“And why is it necessary to be quiet in church?”

One bright little girl replied, “Because people are sleeping.”

[ManOnFire]

Three guys go in for a job interview, all at the same office.

The first one goes in for his interview and the interviewer says, “What’s the first thing you see when you look at me?”

The guy says, “That’s not too hard, you’ve got no ears.”

The interviewer says, “That’s it, get out, you’ll never be seen around here again.”

The second man takes his turn and is asked the same question. The applicant replies, “Uh, you’ve got no ears.” The interviewer throws the guy out, cursing and yelling that he’ll never get a job with his company.

As he is leaving, the second guy warns the third guy, “Listen man, whatever you do, don’t say he hasn’t got any ears. He’s so touchy with the ear thing.”

“Okay,” said man #3 on his way into the office. Once inside he is told, “Name the first thing you notice when you look at me.”

The guy answers, “That’s easy, you wear contacts.”

The interviewer was flabbergasted, “How on earth did you know that, son?”

“What? Are you stupid? You can’t wear glasses, you’ve got no ears!”

[biscuitRAJA000]

Monkey in the Plane
Once in Brazil a plane crashed,
only a monkey who was traveling
in the plane was left alive.
Fortunately the monkey was
intelligent enough to understand
our language and reply.
The officials went to see the
monkey in the hospital and had a
talk with the monkey.
Officer: "When the plane took off
what were the travelers doing?"
Monkey: "Tying their belts"
Officer: "What were the air
hostesses doing?"
Monkey: "Saying Hello! Good
morning!"
Officer: "What were the pilots
doing?"
Monkey: "Checking the system"
Officer: "What were you doing?"
Monkey: "Looking for my people"
Officer: "After 20' minutes what
were the travelers doing?"
Monkey: "Having beverages and
snacks"
Officer: "What were the air
hostesses doing?"
Monkey: "Serving the travelers"
Officer: "What were the Pilots
doing?"
Monkey: "Handling the steering"
Officer: "What were you doing?"
Monkey: "Eating throwing"
Officer: "After 40 minutes what
were the travelers doing?"
Monkey: "Some were sleeping and
some were reading"
Officer: "What were the air
hostesses doing?"
Monkey: "Make up"
Officer: "What were the pilots
doing?"
Monkey: "Handling the steering"
Officer: "What were you doing?"
Monkey: "Nothing"
Officer: "Just before plane crash
what were the travelers doing?"
Monkey: "All were sleeping"
Officer: "What were the pilots
doing?"
Monkey: "Handling the air
hostess"
Officer: What were you doing?
Monkey: Handling the steering!!!!!
No more Questions!!!

[Avataar]

Monkey in the Plane
Once in Brazil a plane crashed,
only a monkey who was traveling
in the plane was left alive.
Fortunately the monkey was
intelligent enough to understand
our language and reply.
The officials went to see the
monkey in the hospital and had a
talk with the monkey.
Officer: "When the plane took off
what were the travelers doing?"
Monkey: "Tying their belts"
Officer: "What were the air
hostesses doing?"
Monkey: "Saying Hello! Good
morning!"
Officer: "What were the pilots
doing?"
Monkey: "Checking the system"
Officer: "What were you doing?"
Monkey: "Looking for my people"
Officer: "After 20' minutes what
were the travelers doing?"
Monkey: "Having beverages and
snacks"
Officer: "What were the air
hostesses doing?"
Monkey: "Serving the travelers"
Officer: "What were the Pilots
doing?"
Monkey: "Handling the steering"
Officer: "What were you doing?"
Monkey: "Eating throwing"
Officer: "After 40 minutes what
were the travelers doing?"
Monkey: "Some were sleeping and
some were reading"
Officer: "What were the air
hostesses doing?"
Monkey: "Make up"
Officer: "What were the pilots
doing?"
Monkey: "Handling the steering"
Officer: "What were you doing?"
Monkey: "Nothing"
Officer: "Just before plane crash
what were the travelers doing?"
Monkey: "All were sleeping"
Officer: "What were the pilots
doing?"
Monkey: "Handling the air
hostess"
Officer: What were you doing?
Monkey: Handling the steering!!!!!
No more Questions!!!

 

[Davudda]

[Darling999]

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