Il Lo Oka Aunty Aavedana. Idhi Nyaayamena ?

[kiran_201]

Hi,

I have a serious issue for which I need some opinions.

I have been married for 3 years(Arranged marriage). We thought of having kids after 3 years and when I raised this topic with my husband recently, he said that he is not interested in having kids with me. He says that ours is not a healthy relationship and he is in this marriage for his parents and out of sympathy for me and nothing more. He refuses to have kids and he feels it is not fair for kids when either of the parents is not inclided to do so. This is the reason for his behaviour:

I lied to my husband about my past relationship. Before marriage when the topic of affairs came, I told him that I do not have any relationships. He did not have any and has a mindset where he believes it's OK to love someone but wrong to have physical relationships before marriage. I was still in relationship with my BF when the marriage was getting fixed and did not want to get married to my current husband. But my ex-BF's parents wanted us to wait until my ex's elder brother gets married and my parents were in no mood to wait any longer(They waited for 1 year)

After marriage, my husband came to know about the affair through some other sources. There was no fight but he was upset. At that time, I did one more mistake and told him that I & my ex-BF never got physical. I told him that we just held hands and nothing else happened. But later, he found out with proof about our intimate physical relationship and found out that I was still in contact through emails, chats during our courtship period after engagement and even after marriage. Contact was through mails only. This time he was really upset and he went into depression for couple of months. But he didn't tell anyone about this. Finally, he became normal with occasional mood swings but overall life was really happy and I felt really lucky.

Before marriage itself, he said that we will plan kids 3 years after marriage. But now, he is saying that he does not want to have kids as he lost all love not just on me but on human relations and it is not healthy for a  kid to have a father like him. He said I'm open to divorce him but there is no way he will have kids. He says he is married to me just for his parents sake and out of concern for me and nothing else. He says he tried really hard all these years to forget my past and did put up a fake happy face but inside he never forgot what I did to his life. He is saying that if I chose to leave him or tell this to our parents, then I should be prepared to tell the actual reason for it. He says I can do whatever I want in this marriage other than having kids.

I shared this my best friend and she is saying that my husband is taking revenge in this way. She is asking me to give him ultimatum and if he still does not listen, leave him as I have atleast some hope to re-marry and settle. But if I delay for couple of more years, I will have no options.

Please friends, what do you think that I should do ?

[STRAWBERRY]

contact ex-BF and have a kid immediately 

[Guest Mahesh_Fan_fan]

LoveDayKBall

[DammaDakkaDolly]

ultimatum anta....

 

aadi life ni chedadhobbi, malla ultimatum endho,... mundhu ee frnds ni lepi dengaali, sagam seni vadhulthahdi..

[idiBeZaWaDa]

Better divorce n save some time for ur hubby

[powerstarpspk]

contact ex-BF and have a kid immediately 

lol ....

 

emanna answer aa baa

[ravula]

Manchore

[Bongu..Boshanam]

he did a good job.... baboi.. dani frnd ki entha brain ooooo...revenge aa  :3D_Smiles:

[ceelogreen]

[sahasam]

give ultimatum... leave him..  re-marry and settle? whot an @@$holistic frnd she has.. 

[rrc_2015]

fake story ... clear ga undi

[uncertainty]

Revenga aah .... em matladthundi adi...

 

Asala dhanamma ...vadi life ki biscuit esaru kada ....

[ibabu]

Hi,

I have a serious issue for which I need some opinions.

I have been married for 3 years(Arranged marriage). We thought of having kids after 3 years and when I raised this topic with my husband recently, he said that he is not interested in having kids with me. He says that ours is not a healthy relationship and he is in this marriage for his parents and out of sympathy for me and nothing more. He refuses to have kids and he feels it is not fair for kids when either of the parents is not inclided to do so. This is the reason for his behaviour:

I lied to my husband about my past relationship. Before marriage when the topic of affairs came, I told him that I do not have any relationships. He did not have any and has a mindset where he believes it's OK to love someone but wrong to have physical relationships before marriage. I was still in relationship with my BF when the marriage was getting fixed and did not want to get married to my current husband. But my ex-BF's parents wanted us to wait until my ex's elder brother gets married and my parents were in no mood to wait any longer(They waited for 1 year)

After marriage, my husband came to know about the affair through some other sources. There was no fight but he was upset. At that time, I did one more mistake and told him that I & my ex-BF never got physical. I told him that we just held hands and nothing else happened. But later, he found out with proof about our intimate physical relationship and found out that I was still in contact through emails, chats during our courtship period after engagement and even after marriage. Contact was through mails only. This time he was really upset and he went into depression for couple of months. But he didn't tell anyone about this. Finally, he became normal with occasional mood swings but overall life was really happy and I felt really lucky.

Before marriage itself, he said that we will plan kids 3 years after marriage. But now, he is saying that he does not want to have kids as he lost all love not just on me but on human relations and it is not healthy for a kid to have a father like him. He said I'm open to divorce him but there is no way he will have kids. He says he is married to me just for his parents sake and out of concern for me and nothing else. He says he tried really hard all these years to forget my past and did put up a fake happy face but inside he never forgot what I did to his life. He is saying that if I chose to leave him or tell this to our parents, then I should be prepared to tell the actual reason for it. He says I can do whatever I want in this marriage other than having kids.

I shared this my best friend and she is saying that my husband is taking revenge in this way. She is asking me to give him ultimatum and if he still does not listen, leave him as I have atleast some hope to re-marry and settle. But if I delay for couple of more years, I will have no options.

Please friends, what do you think that I should do ?

No divorce pls.. It won't do any good.. Try to look attractive always .. But let him come to you for pleasure and one day he will soon want to have kids..

[uncertainty]

Naku telisina solution okkate...adi malli pelli cheskunna

 

Dhaniki em kavalalo kaala kramena jaruguthane vuntundi... oka very very nice candidate dorikadu ani okadini cheskunna...

 

...as it is the dhani karma phalena ...adi chesina tappulaku adi anubavisthundi .. 

 

BEST entante ...veedini shekmaa biksha kori bathikeyadame... 

[STRAWBERRY]

Naku telisina solution okkate...adi malli pelli cheskunna

 

Dhaniki em kavalalo kaala kramena jaruguthane vuntundi... oka very very nice candidate dorikadu ani okadini cheskunna...

 

...as it is the dhani karma phalena ...adi chesina tappulaku adi anubavisthundi .. 

 

BEST entante ...veedini shekmaa biksha kori bathikeyadame... 

 

Its HER CHOICE knooooo