LordOfMud Posted May 28, 2016 Report Posted May 28, 2016 Pls only Fun Stuff......... A King enrolled his donkey in a race & won. Local paper read: 'KING's ASS WON' The king was so upset with this kind of publicity that he gave the donkey to the queen. The local paper then read: "QUEEN HAS THE BEST ASS IN TOWN" The king fainted.... Queen sold the donkey to a farmer for 10$. Next day paper read: "QUEEN SELLS HER ASS FOR $10" The queen fainted... The next day king ordered the queen to buy back the donkey and leave it in jungle. The Next Headlines: "QUEEN ANNOUNCES HER ASS IS FREE & WILD" The king died... !!Thats Media.... .............................................................................................................. A Bihari was working in Mumbai and he did not meet this wife for four (4) years while his wife was in Patna (Bihar ). At the end of 4 years he distributed sweets to his colleagues in office stating that his wife had delivered a son. His colleagues were quite shocked and they asked how this “Happy event” happened when he had not seen his wife for four years… The man said it is common in Bihar that neighbours take care of the wife (good Samaritans) when men are away. The colleagues asked him, “What name will you give to the son?” The man explained, “If its the second neighbour who has taken care, then the name would be “DWIVEDI”; If it is the third neighbour then it would be “TRIVEDI”, If it is the fourth neighbour then it would be “CHATURVEDI”; If its the fifth neighbour then it would be “PANDEY”… After listening to this, questions followed. What if it is a mixture of neighbours? “Then the boy would be named “MISHRA”… And what if the wife is too shy to tell the name of the neighbour? Then it would be “SHARMA”… But what if she refuses to divulge the name of the neighbour? Then the name of the child would be “GUPTA”… If she does not remember the name then? “It is YAAD-AV” But who knows whether the child resulted from a rape? Then it will be named “DOSHI”… Finally, if the child happened because of wife’s burning desire? Then he will be named “JOSHI”… And if the whole country had made efforts for the happy arrival? “DESHPANDEY.”___________________________________________________ Quote
LordOfMud Posted May 28, 2016 Author Report Posted May 28, 2016 Imagine living with 3 wives in one compound and never leaving the house for 5 years.Osama Bin Laden must have called the US Navy Seals himself! Quote
LordOfMud Posted May 28, 2016 Author Report Posted May 28, 2016 THE MIRACLE OF TOILET PAPER Fresh from my shower, I stood in front of the mirror complaining to my husband that my breasts were too small. Instead of characteristically telling me it's not so, he uncharacteristically comes up with a suggestion. "If you want your breasts to grow, then every day take a piece of toilet paper and rub it between them for a few seconds." Willing to try anything, I fetched a piece of toilet paper and stood in front of the mirror, rubbing it between my breasts. "How long will this take?" I asked "They will grow larger over a period of years," my husband replies. I stopped. " Do you really think rubbing a piece of toilet paper between my breasts every day will make my breasts larger over the years?" Without missing a beat he says "Worked for your butt, didn't it?" He is still alive, and with a great deal of therapy, he may even walk again. Stupid, stupid man. Quote
LordOfMud Posted May 28, 2016 Author Report Posted May 28, 2016 Enjoy simple Pleasures Stress drains our brainpower. A stress-ridden mind consumes much of our memory resources to leave us with a feeble mind. Make a habit to engage yourself in few simple pleasures everyday to dissolve stress from your mind. Some of these simple pleasures are good for your mind, body and soul. One evening of sex can release the tension that restricts blood vessels in the brain. If you’re concerned that you put on a few extra pounds during that romantic dinner, worry not!: There’s nothing like a little sex to burn up those calories. Sex releases endorphins into the bloodstream. That results in a sense of euphoria and a feeling of well-being. The more sex you have, the more you’re offered. When you are sexually active, your body releases greater quantities of (chemicals called) pheromones. Pheromones are natural. Quote
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