Is settling in US worth for indian? - Quora post

[Moon_Walker]

Based on the survey results and experiences shared by participants, I categorized the life cycle of immigrants into four different generic phases (Transform, Settle, Growth and Suffer) as shown in the graph below. Every person’s life is different so the depicted life cycle or living conditions may not apply to every NRI. It may vary for few people and life events may overlap between phases. This might be totally different for the new NRIs coming to the US because of longer green card wait time and ever changing immigration policies.

Now let me describe these phases with typical life events.

Transform Phase (21 to 28 years): This an excitement phase which starts right from India after getting the US visa. One tries to get to know the culture of the US, what to do before and after entering the US and starts living the American Dream. Parents feel proud of this great achievement by their kids and start making big expectations and hopes. Starts sharing this news to neighbors and relatives and throw a big party as if their kid already succeeded in life. Arrives in the US without the awareness that he/she broke generations of living together and unity in their families. Typically nobody think or care about how life will be in the US after 40s, 50s or 60s in this stage. One gets really amazed with the best infrastructure of America and starts loving it. Gets used to American life style with few hiccups. Starts making some money and will have parties, shopping, vacation trips and realizes that life is very comfortable in the US. Transfers money to India to support family and talks to relatives and friends and shares the greatness of America. Parents will start looking for a bride/groom. Starts green card process to continue living in American dream.

NRIs are very happy in this phase with lots of excitement and joy that American life brings in.

Settle Phase (28 to 40 years): After a couple of trips to India, gets married and spouse arrives in the US. Couple is very happy in the beginning with vacation trips and parties. Realizes that expenses are higher than living as a bachelor. First baby arrives and parents and in-laws visit America. Advances in green card process, switches jobs and moves to new locations. Second baby arrives and then visits India with kids. Realizes that their parents are not quite happy staying alone in India. Also realizes that India has changed a lot and quite expensive than ever. Thinks that they may not be able to fit in India and also India is not a right fit for the kids. NRIs usually decides to go on the path of settling down in the US with a backup plan of going back. Buys Town Home/Condo and switches to luxury cars. Realizes that single income is not really sustainable in the US. Wife decides to do a job instead of getting bored at home. So Income doubles, savings doubles but stress levels go up. Green card arrives and they feel relaxed of immigration issues. Vacation trips becomes hard with little kids so no big vacations.

Happiness level comes down due to missing family relationships and not able to take care of aging parents.

Growth Phase (40 to 50 years): Moves on career ladder and starts making big bucks and also start making big bucks from secondary sources of income like stocks. Some might start a startup company or any business. Usually pretty busy with kids school and extra curricular activities. Buys a single family home and moves to a bigger home. Kids are grown up now so vacations are back. Parents are not able to visit because they don’t like to stay in the US. Also parent’s health will become a big concern. Makes few arrangements for parents in India but they are always temporary. Few realize that their friends in India have made more money in India than them. Realizes that they need to focus more on health aspects so starts some physical activities to keep their body fit.

Higher income, higher savings and most successful phase (professionally) for most people but happiness level further comes down because of lack of relationships.

Suffer Phase (Above 50 years): Kids usually finish their high school and go to a college. All savings will vanish in kids college education. Kids finish their education and start their job at a different place in the US. The couple is alone at big home away from parents and away from kids. They cannot think of going back because of kids and setting up everything from scratch in India would be a daunting task. Whenever they visit India they clearly see that family relationships are faded away because of settling in US. Most people thought that early in growth phase would have been an ideal situation to go back to India before kids enters middle school with a mind set of going back in settle phase.

Most people expressed that “We got everything we wanted in life, but we lost all relationships”. Some people expressed concern like “I wish I knew the downsides or effects of immigration later in the life”.

Starts indulging deeply in social and charity activities to keep them busy and also for social recognition. Usually takes up American citizenship in this phase while some takes up in growth phase only.

Works until 65 years of age to pay off mortgage and retires at the age of 65. After 65 years they start getting social security and healthcare benefits from government. But they continue to work in some retirement jobs to keep them busy or to earn some extra income for unknown expenses.

---

Just to summarize, life is happy in the beginning but happiness tends to fade away and brings suffering to life after 50s. Materialistic culture of America makes you a successful person professionally and materialistically, but deserts your life. One interesting observation during this study — most of the people who immigrated to America had no plans to settle in the US and most of the settled ones said, “We are not sure we might go back”.

Every NRI looks like a happy person from outside but everyone has a dark side story to tell from inside of their heart.

Life in the US rotates around profession, immigration process and kids. NRIs tend to “sacrifice their life for kids of next generation.” Kids seems to be happy with no complaints about life as they are in young age; the second generation, Indian-Americans, will have friends but might not have family relationships too? So they might end up in the same boat after 50 years age? Needs further research…

[Moon_Walker]

This quora post went viral with lot of responses.

[Batman_fan]

eh Quora post chusi Appi Reddy anna returned to India anamata. 

[Batman_fan]

There will be no growth phase for current generation. There will only be settle phase filled with frustration and suffering until retirement. 

[samaja_varagamana]

Lol look at happiness line 

[Quickgun_murugan]

[Bhai]

5 minutes ago, samaja_varagamana said:

Lol look at happiness line 

k

[princeofheaven]

20 minutes ago, Batman_fan said:

There will be no growth phase for current generation. There will only be settle phase filled with frustration and suffering until retirement. 

leave alone growth phase there will be no settle phase

 

Settle Phase (28 to 40 years): After a couple of trips to India, gets married and spouse arrives in the US. Couple is very happy in the beginning with vacation trips and parties. Realizes that expenses are higher than living as a bachelor. First baby arrives and parents and in-laws visit America. Advances in green card process, switches jobs and moves to new locations. Second baby arrives and then visits India with kids. Realizes that their parents are not quite happy staying alone in India. Also realizes that India has changed a lot and quite expensive than ever. Thinks that they may not be able to fit in India and also India is not a right fit for the kids. NRIs usually decides to go on the path of settling down in the US with a backup plan of going back. Buys Town Home/Condo and switches to luxury cars. Realizes that single income is not really sustainable in the US. Wife decides to do a job instead of getting bored at home. So Income doubles, savings doubles but stress levels go up. Green card arrives and they feel relaxed of immigration issues. Vacation trips becomes hard with little kids so no big vacations.

 

Highlighted point is an impossible event for current generation

[tennisluvr]

What a bunch of crock, each person decides what their priorities are. No two persons priorities are the same they vary as per the person. 

Materialistic life in USA antunnaru India lo life emanna less materialistic aaa. Entha sepu pakkintodu em car konnadu, entha sampayistunnadu ilanti sodhi lo comparisons ekkuva if anything India is even more materialistic than US. Plus not everyone wants to have kids, and that spending all your amount for kids studies is a joke. Either encourage your kid to excel in a sport that can fetch them a scholarship or let them take a loan(since they will be US citizens) that they will be responsible to pay off once they finish their education. 

No parent in the US decides to bankrupt himself in the process of educating their kids, seems like a poorly written article with a lot of assumptions. 

[tennisluvr]

20 minutes ago, princeofheaven said:

leave alone growth phase there will be no settle phase

 

Settle Phase (28 to 40 years): After a couple of trips to India, gets married and spouse arrives in the US. Couple is very happy in the beginning with vacation trips and parties. Realizes that expenses are higher than living as a bachelor. First baby arrives and parents and in-laws visit America. Advances in green card process, switches jobs and moves to new locations. Second baby arrives and then visits India with kids. Realizes that their parents are not quite happy staying alone in India. Also realizes that India has changed a lot and quite expensive than ever. Thinks that they may not be able to fit in India and also India is not a right fit for the kids. NRIs usually decides to go on the path of settling down in the US with a backup plan of going back. Buys Town Home/Condo and switches to luxury cars. Realizes that single income is not really sustainable in the US. Wife decides to do a job instead of getting bored at home. So Income doubles, savings doubles but stress levels go up. Green card arrives and they feel relaxed of immigration issues. Vacation trips becomes hard with little kids so no big vacations.

 

Highlighted point is an impossible event for current generation

Then the generation has to adapt as per that, and define what's important to them. India expensive ayipoyindi leka India lo vaadi friend ekkuva paisalu sampayinchestunnadu ani edichevaadu India lo ne undali, he needs to put himself through the grind his better earning friend does and see if that's something he is cut out for. Lekunte moosukuni koorchovali kaani ee dick size comparisons deniki nenu US ocha naa friend India lo ne undi nakanna ekkuva sampayinchestunnadaho ani. Aa article rasinodu evado insecure fellow la unnadu. 

[tennisluvr]

1 hour ago, Moon_Walker said:

Based on the survey results and experiences shared by participants, I categorized the life cycle of immigrants into four different generic phases (Transform, Settle, Growth and Suffer) as shown in the graph below. Every person’s life is different so the depicted life cycle or living conditions may not apply to every NRI. It may vary for few people and life events may overlap between phases. This might be totally different for the new NRIs coming to the US because of longer green card wait time and ever changing immigration policies.

Now let me describe these phases with typical life events.

Transform Phase (21 to 28 years): This an excitement phase which starts right from India after getting the US visa. One tries to get to know the culture of the US, what to do before and after entering the US and starts living the American Dream. Parents feel proud of this great achievement by their kids and start making big expectations and hopes. Starts sharing this news to neighbors and relatives and throw a big party as if their kid already succeeded in life. Arrives in the US without the awareness that he/she broke generations of living together and unity in their families. Typically nobody think or care about how life will be in the US after 40s, 50s or 60s in this stage. One gets really amazed with the best infrastructure of America and starts loving it. Gets used to American life style with few hiccups. Starts making some money and will have parties, shopping, vacation trips and realizes that life is very comfortable in the US. Transfers money to India to support family and talks to relatives and friends and shares the greatness of America. Parents will start looking for a bride/groom. Starts green card process to continue living in American dream.

NRIs are very happy in this phase with lots of excitement and joy that American life brings in.

Settle Phase (28 to 40 years): After a couple of trips to India, gets married and spouse arrives in the US. Couple is very happy in the beginning with vacation trips and parties. Realizes that expenses are higher than living as a bachelor. First baby arrives and parents and in-laws visit America. Advances in green card process, switches jobs and moves to new locations. Second baby arrives and then visits India with kids. Realizes that their parents are not quite happy staying alone in India. Also realizes that India has changed a lot and quite expensive than ever. Thinks that they may not be able to fit in India and also India is not a right fit for the kids. NRIs usually decides to go on the path of settling down in the US with a backup plan of going back. Buys Town Home/Condo and switches to luxury cars. Realizes that single income is not really sustainable in the US. Wife decides to do a job instead of getting bored at home. So Income doubles, savings doubles but stress levels go up. Green card arrives and they feel relaxed of immigration issues. Vacation trips becomes hard with little kids so no big vacations.

Happiness level comes down due to missing family relationships and not able to take care of aging parents.

Growth Phase (40 to 50 years): Moves on career ladder and starts making big bucks and also start making big bucks from secondary sources of income like stocks. Some might start a startup company or any business. Usually pretty busy with kids school and extra curricular activities. Buys a single family home and moves to a bigger home. Kids are grown up now so vacations are back. Parents are not able to visit because they don’t like to stay in the US. Also parent’s health will become a big concern. Makes few arrangements for parents in India but they are always temporary. Few realize that their friends in India have made more money in India than them. Realizes that they need to focus more on health aspects so starts some physical activities to keep their body fit.

Higher income, higher savings and most successful phase (professionally) for most people but happiness level further comes down because of lack of relationships.

Suffer Phase (Above 50 years): Kids usually finish their high school and go to a college. All savings will vanish in kids college education. Kids finish their education and start their job at a different place in the US. The couple is alone at big home away from parents and away from kids. They cannot think of going back because of kids and setting up everything from scratch in India would be a daunting task. Whenever they visit India they clearly see that family relationships are faded away because of settling in US. Most people thought that early in growth phase would have been an ideal situation to go back to India before kids enters middle school with a mind set of going back in settle phase.

Most people expressed that “We got everything we wanted in life, but we lost all relationships”. Some people expressed concern like “I wish I knew the downsides or effects of immigration later in the life”.

Starts indulging deeply in social and charity activities to keep them busy and also for social recognition. Usually takes up American citizenship in this phase while some takes up in growth phase only.

Works until 65 years of age to pay off mortgage and retires at the age of 65. After 65 years they start getting social security and healthcare benefits from government. But they continue to work in some retirement jobs to keep them busy or to earn some extra income for unknown expenses.

---

Just to summarize, life is happy in the beginning but happiness tends to fade away and brings suffering to life after 50s. Materialistic culture of America makes you a successful person professionally and materialistically, but deserts your life. One interesting observation during this study — most of the people who immigrated to America had no plans to settle in the US and most of the settled ones said, “We are not sure we might go back”.

Every NRI looks like a happy person from outside but everyone has a dark side story to tell from inside of their heart.

Life in the US rotates around profession, immigration process and kids. NRIs tend to “sacrifice their life for kids of next generation.” Kids seems to be happy with no complaints about life as they are in young age; the second generation, Indian-Americans, will have friends but might not have family relationships too? So they might end up in the same boat after 50 years age? Needs further research…

Taking care of the body and starting physical activities to keep fit should be done from the early to mid 20s and people have to continue to follow that,along with a balance work life balance and dietary habits. 

These aren't things that people need to wait till they turn 40 to begin. If someone waits that long to establish these habits it's already too late for the most part. 

[tennisluvr]

Looks like Quora has turned into a giant wasteland of mostly half baked ideas, pretty sad considering that it was a pretty good discussion forum a few years ago. Ilantollu ochi vaallaki telisindi sagam sagam knowledge tho edo geetopadesam la cheppadam, daaniki andaru ochesi upvotes and viral cheseyadam. 

Antha problem unte aa comments chesinollani India vellipondi ra happy ga ante aa pomu ikkade untamu antaru. Play the game as per the rules of the game or create your own rules and circumvent the system if you are so wily, anthe. Ila Kumar uncle videos esinattu Quora lo edusthe emostundu

[samaja_varagamana]

7 minutes ago, tennisluvr said:

What a bunch of crock, each person decides what their priorities are. No two persons priorities are the same they vary as per the person. 

Materialistic life in USA antunnaru India lo life emanna less materialistic aaa. Entha sepu pakkintodu em car konnadu, entha sampayistunnadu ilanti sodhi lo comparisons ekkuva if anything India is even more materialistic than US. Plus not everyone wants to have kids, and that spending all your amount for kids studies is a joke. Either encourage your kid to excel in a sport that can fetch them a scholarship or let them take a loan(since they will be US citizens) that they will be responsible to pay off once they finish their education. 

No parent in the US decides to bankrupt himself in the process of educating their kids, seems like a poorly written article with a lot of assumptions. 

desi srinu vytla standard template anta bro odilesey manaki kadu ivanni...............manam russian bots ki line eddam 

[Tyrannosauraus_Rex]

It gave me a headache reading the first few sentences of that Quora article. I cannot even think of expending my energy on that.

Every immigrant is different and each one has their own unique immigrant experience.

Moving and settling down in the US has been the single most positive/biggest turning point in my life.  I have grown stronger emotionally, physically - as a human being I have matured a lot and prospered a lot economically.

Arriving into a cultural, multi racial, multi ethnic melting pot meant I thrived in that environment. 

Coming here gave me the excellent opportunity of meeting and befriending people from so many countries and cultures that it inevitably led me to grow a much better attitude and a wholesome perspective towards life.

 

I absolutely love living in the US and I would not trade it for anything in the world.

 

 

 

 

 

[karthikn]

14 minutes ago, tennisluvr said:

Looks like Quora has turned into a giant wasteland of mostly half baked ideas, pretty sad considering that it was a pretty good discussion forum a few years ago. Ilantollu ochi vaallaki telisindi sagam sagam knowledge tho edo geetopadesam la cheppadam, daaniki andaru ochesi upvotes and viral cheseyadam. 

Antha problem unte aa comments chesinollani India vellipondi ra happy ga ante aa pomu ikkade untamu antaru. Play the game as per the rules of the game or create your own rules and circumvent the system if you are so wily, anthe. Ila Kumar uncle videos esinattu Quora lo edusthe emostundu

True lol.. Quora became adda for desi rod people..

Maa doorapu relatives lo aunty valla mom ni left at old age home.. She passed away at that home.. Malla andaru India lo ne unnaru.. So India is heaven for relationships us worst ani laddu mindset lo unnadu