In Law's Biased Nature Hurting my Husband

[Spartan]

It is like a vent.I welcome suggestions on how I should percieve

Background
My husband and his younger brother are only children for my ILs.ILs both are from Govt field.FIL is retired and MIL is still working.Both are physically and Financially independent.All their property(2 storey house + 3 plots) is their hard earned money.

BIL studied in private engineering college with donation , no control on his monthly expenditure.Pawned golden chain to threw party for friends in a hotel. During his final year of education,diagnosed with illness led to diabetics.He was with backlogs since first year and finally cleared all backlogs in 6 years.
DH was an avg student in studies but always within control in every aspect in life.

Myself and DH are from IT Field. BIL stayed with us till his marriage.During BIL 2.5 years stay,never expected any financial contribution not even in my dreams as he is my DH's brother.ILs stay in different town.Once my MIL spoke very cheap about my younger brother when he visited my home during breakfast time as my brother came without prior intimation.Whereas my BIL used to wait for me to give him money when I ask him to get even a milk packet.This is okay for me though and never felt cheap when BIL is earning.

I may sound jealous with below examples,mentioning these are necessary to bring up the actual issue.
 

• I funded all gold for my marraige,ILs bought similar jewellery for my co-sister during BIL wedding as she is from financially not well to do family.This is okay from Parents end but they told me that BIL funded which is incorrect based on the fact as he was earning only 8k PM and cannot afford to buy 4 lacs worth of gold with 2 years service.But co-sister maintenance and wishes are not less than rich people.
• We bought a land for us with Personal Loan,FIL bought plot next to us for BIL
• We bought house for us with 20 years House loan,FIL bought house for BIL from his retirement money.
• We furnished all appliances with EMIs , ILs furnished for my BIL home during first month of marriage.When we bought Microwave,immediate month microwave was be in BIL's home.several instances in similar lines.Whatever we have in our home,same will be funded by ILs to BIL and Co-sister.
• We tried to buy a 8 lacs worth car on loan,MIL warned us , do you guys really need this.my DH and myself are earning okay to fund a car due to 50 km round trip daily to office.But ILs bought 8 lacs car to BIL immediate month
• During every summer,ILs stay with us.I always treated them with due respect preparing 3 course meal being working MOM.Co-sister never fed ILs with a single meal being SAHM.If situation demands,MIL has to cook at BIL's house.I have never seen ILs staying at BILs home not even for a single day in last 5 years.Once Co-sister locked herself in room till ILs were out of the BILs house.

There are so many examples to list which is never ending

• Over a period of time BIL salary got raised from 8k to 40K.But lifestyle is of 1 lac per month due to ILs support.BIL left his job and asked 20 lacs from ILs to start business ,same has been fulfilled,DH was aware about this after an year.BIL sold his flat and shifted to villa for rent.ILs not informed on selling the flat which they bought.
• One day credit card executive came to my home in search of BIL as he stopped picking up their calls as BIL is due for 1.4 lac.BIL aadhar has my home address
• One of my MIL's relative visited my home,mentioned that BIL owe them 2.5 lacs and BIL is not picking the phone.There is one more instance of 50K due to another relative as well.We are aware of only these 3 incidents not sure still how many are there.
• BIL joined his daughter in international school with 4.2 lac per annum fees towards all expenses for UKG.

Issue:
Knowing all above debts and aggresive spending pattern, DH spoke with ILs and told ILs to control on BIL debts and his expenses.ILs shouted on DH saying that it is not DH's business to mind.DH felt really bad,stopped talking to ILs.I was quiet during the argument and after the argument as well.

My ILs are always biased towards BIL,that is fine till they can afford and support,but not at the cost of spoiling thier son.Not bringing him to the reality and actual financial capability.In the due course DH is feeling bad towards ILs biased nature.

P.S. I treated FIL as my father but he made me realise the true colors that he is just my husband's father.ILs speak a lot of negative about my DH ,I heard accidently once.DH is a wonderful human being with lots of love towards his parents.I strongly support his feelings towards his parents no matter what they do.I am little cold with ILs as they ill treated my kid/DH when compared to BIL's daughter during several incidents

[Guest]

yendi vaa estoryla meeda padinav 

[Spartan]

3 minutes ago, Guest said:

yendi vaa estoryla meeda padinav