How to deal with a disrespectful wife?

[VD2]

You should ask yourself why you are accepting a life sentence in a prison created by a person who holds you in contempt?

When a woman loses respect for a man in a general and ongoing manner the marriage is over whether you divorce or not. The circumstances that caused the disrespect and contempt no longer matter. Once she views you as someone who deserves to be treated this way (and you do deserve it if you accept it) there is no path back to her love and respect.

Think about it. What would you have to do to earn back her respect now? Maybe stopping a terrorist attack with extreme bravery and daring, or becoming a lion in the world if high finance would do it. But, if you pulled off something like that you would have many options besides the woman who treated you badly when you were not rich or famous. Would you stick with your wife if your options in women were much greatter than they are now? I doubt it.

Men who accept disrespect from thier wife do so out of fear. They fear losing the person who abuses them because they unconsciously feel they have no options. You do have options. Even being alone is better than a life under your wife's boot.

The only way to press the “reset button” on this situation is to tell her you will file for divorce the next time you feel disrespected. Not what SHE THINKS is disrespect, but what you think, what you feel, what you will accept. She will laugh. Maybe not in your face, but she will find Mr. Mouse amusing when he huffs and puffs and stamps his foot.

Then file for divorce.

I assure you that her contemptuous ammusement with your pain and shame will turn to fear. And that fear will turn to a grudging respect. Why? Because you are now acting like a man. And women respect real men even if they don't like them.

Your other option is to listen to a bunch of relationship advice that has never been tested in the crucible of a burning marriage. You can't negotiate yourself out of your wife's contempt with furthet weakness.

Move hard, move fast, or face a miserable future as a slave.

 

 

[Amrita]

Respect once gone its GONE FOR EVER not just for husband/wife but for any person.  You got to learn to live without it for sake of person if u want to be around. Its pathetic to live like that like doormat. What is left in relationship when respect is gone? 

[ZoomNaidu]

@VD2 - lawyer va endhi ?? 

[ammoru_talli]

One does not need to say it aloud that I need respect. That itself makes you appear weak. Instead do not entertain even a small thing if you feel disrespected. It does not mean doing the things exactly like she does. Respect yourself and others follows.

[Amrita]

3 minutes ago, ammoru_talli said:

One does not need to say it aloud that I need respect. That itself makes you appear weak. Instead do not entertain even a small thing if you feel disrespected. It does not mean doing the things exactly like she does. Respect yourself and others follows.

Honestly, its easy to say than doing. Prema anedi worst thing when u love someone truly we cant be rude to them. We succumb emotionally. Ala friends and family to undadam easy not with spouse i think. 

[ammoru_talli]

2 minutes ago, Amrita said:

Honestly, its easy to say than doing. Prema anedi worst thing when u love someone truly we cant be rude to them. We succumb emotionally. Ala friends and family to undadam easy not with spouse i think. 

I did not say it’s easy... but that’s the only way, if we don’t respect ourselves, others will not. 

[Amrita]

Just now, ammoru_talli said:

I did not say it’s easy... but that’s the only way, if we don’t respect ourselves, others would not. 

Agreed.  I doubt if i have that strength . I think i don't.

[MagaMaharaju]

3 minutes ago, Amrita said:

Honestly, its easy to say than doing. Prema anedi worst thing when u love someone truly we cant be rude to them. We succumb emotionally. Ala friends and family to undadam easy not with spouse i think. 

one can disrespect or take another for granted only till another allows

[Amrita]

Just now, MagaMaharaju said:

one can disrespect or take another for granted only till another allows

Agreed. 

 

[MagaMaharaju]

Just now, Amrita said:

Agreed.  I doubt if i have that strength . I think i don't.

chinna chinna matters lo that's ok I think. Like opinion differences etc.

anni vishayallo ante kastam.

Also edho oka roju aversion ga maaruthadhi aa ishtam

[ammoru_talli]

Just now, Amrita said:

Agreed.  I doubt if i have that strength . I think i don't.

Many does not have it. But we have to build it for our own good. Inko option being submissive antha bagaledu mari.

[Amrita]

1 minute ago, MagaMaharaju said:

chinna chinna matters lo that's ok I think. Like opinion differences etc.

anni vishayallo ante kastam.

Also edho oka roju aversion ga maaruthadhi aa ishtam

Yup ! I have same opinions but actions lo nenu cheyaledu when in situation. I am under realization now that i lack that strength  or may be i am no more same person i was few years back.

[Amrita]

2 minutes ago, ammoru_talli said:

Many does not have it. But we have to build it for our own good. Inko option being submissive antha bagaledu mari.

Submissive will turn to aggression and then into hatred very soon i guess. Mana nature kanidi cant be submissive for long. Anything you stretch will break.

[MagaMaharaju]

1 minute ago, ammoru_talli said:

Many does not have it. But we have to build it for our own good. Inko option being submissive antha bagaledu mari.

this is a temporary and convenient solution and that's why many settle for it

[MagaMaharaju]

2 minutes ago, Amrita said:

Yup ! I have same opinions but actions lo nenu cheyaledu when in situation. I am under realization now that i lack that strength  or may be i am no more same person i was few years back.

It's hard to fight fears but try not to miss basic logics