Funny/Interesting memes

[Shameless]

[yemdoing]

On 3/15/2022 at 12:55 PM, Shameless said:

who is this from our DB?

Left corner fafa is mine 

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Johnny is at it Again

*The Polite Way to Pee *

During one of her daily classes , a teacher was trying to teach good manners and she asked her students the following question :

"Michael , if you were on a date and having dinner with a nice young lady , how would you tell her that you have to go to the bathroom ?"

Michael said : "Just a minute dear , I have to go to pee" .

The teacher responded by saying : "That would be very rude and impolite".

What about you Sherman , how would you say it ?

Sherman said : "I am dear , but I really need to go to the bathroom . I'll be right back" .

That's better , but it's still not very nice to say the word bathroom at the dinner table .

And you , little Johnny , can you use your brain for once and show us your good manners ?

Johnny said : "I would say - *Darling , may I please be excused for a moment ? I have to shake hands with a very dear friend of mine whom I hope to introduce to you after dinner .*

*The teacher fainted*

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PADDY again

Paddy goes to doc's having problems with premature ejaculation._

_*He's told when you feel yourself cuming, give yourself a fright by firing a starter pistol in the air to prolong the sex.*_

_*Two days later the doc sees Paddy again and asks how it went?*_

_*Paddy says, Not good! We were in a 69 and I felt myself start to cum, so I fired the gun*_

_*Mary in my face, bit the end off my cock and the milkman came out the wardrobe with his hands up!*

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Paddy is sitting on a train across from a busty blonde wearing a tiny

mini skirt. Despite his efforts, he is unable to stop staring at the top

of her thighs. To his delight, he realizes she has gone without

underwear.

The blonde realizes he is staring and inquires,

"Are you looking at my **?"

"Yes, I'm sorry," Paddy replies and promises to avert his eyes.

"It's quite all right," replies the woman, "It's very talented, watch this, I'll

make it blow a kiss to you."

Sure enough the ** blows him a kiss.

Paddy, who is completely absorbed, inquires what else the wonder

** can do.

"I can also make it wink," says the woman.

Paddy stares in amazement as the ** winks at him.

"Come and sit next to me," suggests the woman, patting the seat.

Paddy moves over and she smiles and asks,"Would you like to stick a couple of fingers in?"

Stunned, Paddy replies, "You’re kidding—you mean it can whistle, too?”

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A widow and widower lived next door to each other. They had been neighbours for over 30 years, but each had lost their spouse not too long ago. Over a number of weeks, they had become close. One day, the man asked the woman if she enjoyed fishing.

Yes, she replied, she used to enjoy fishing with her late husband. The man agreed to pick her up at 6 a.m. the next morning. They went down to the river at the time they decided the next day, and began fishing.

After a while, the man began to move the boat upstream. They came to a fork in the river and the man asked the woman, "Up or down." Being nice, he wanted to let her decide.

The woman looked around, promptly took off all her clothes and jumped on the old man. They had passionate sex. After a while, they redressed and resumed fishing.

Later in the day, they came to another fork in the river. Again, the man asked, "Up or down," and once again the woman stripped and another round of passionate sex commenced.

That evening, upon arriving home, the man asked the woman if she would like to go fishing again the next day. The woman agreed. A little after 6 a.m. the next morning, they got to the river.

As they came across that first fork in the river, the hopeful man asked the lady, "Up or down."

"Down," the woman replied.

A little surprised, the man headed that way. After a morning of fishing, they got to another fork. "Up or down," the man asked.

"Up," the woman said.

"Wait a minute," the man said. "Yesterday, when I asked that question, you took all your clothes off and we had passionate sex. What's going on?"

"Well," the woman replied, "yesterday, I forgot my hearing aid and I thought you said "** or Drown!'"

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The difference between Oo and oO

Two young guys appear in court after being arrested for smoking dope.

The judge says, "You seem like nice young men, and I'd like to give you a second chance instead of jail time.

I want you to go out this weekend and try to convince others of the evils of drug use.

I'll see you back in court Monday.

"On Monday, the judge asks the first guy, "How did you do over the weekend?

""Well, your honor, I persuaded 17 people to give up drugs forever.

""Seventeen people? That's wonderful. How did you do it? "

"I used a diagram, your honor. I drew two circles like this: O o.

Then I told them that the big circle is your brain before drugs and the small circle is your brain after drugs."

"That's admirable," says the judge.

Then he turns to the second guy. "And how did you do?"

"Well, your honor, I persuaded 156 people to give up drugs forever."

"Wow!" says the judge.

"156 people! How did you manage to do that?"

"Well, I used a similar diagram," the guy says.

"I drew two circles like this: o O.

Then I pointed to the little circle and said,

*_'This is your asshole before prison.................."_*

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Nun goes onto a bus that has no passengers.

Nun to bus driver: I'm dying and I want to have sex before I die but I must remain a virgin so it must be **** and i cant commit adultery so the man must be single, can you fulfil my wish?

Yes says the driver and shags her up the ****. Then feeling guilty the driver says " I'm I lied I'm married with 3 kids" " That's ok" said the nun " I lied too. My name's Dave and I'm going to a fancy dress party! lol

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