situation: married for 20+ yrs, completely in love with each other, 2 teen kids

[kevinUsa]

. I am the sole earning member for the past 15 yrs. Avg income over past 15 yrs is $400k+ p.a. Lived an expat life for many years in multiple countries. My parents fully dependent on me for past 24 yrs and are in India. Whole another story on entitled parents. Another big bottle needed for that . 🙄😆🤦🏽‍♂️
Was laid off last July for the first time in my life. Lousy time with the economy. Has been “apply apply no reply” since then☹️.
By the grace of the powers that be, I now have a couple of offers in play. One of them is in the snow belt  and the other is in the Bay Area(we now live in the sunbelt). Each of them are $400K roles. Struggle is that I am worried she sees both of them as downgrades to the lifestyle and is upset internally and clearly isn’t happy this means a move. 
As an aside but relevant point: 10 yrs ago, I urged her to do an exec MBA(she is brilliant and has been a topper all along, with 10+ yrs of work exp) from INSEAD and that we can pay the $200k fee no issues. I saw this as a way to de-risk the very situation I’m in now. She said she doesn’t want to study anymore. I respected that and dropped the topic. 
I now look around our home and we don’t use 1/2 of the space we own!! its to stack we’ve collected over the years. Stupid Noritake dinner sets. Custom furniture.. Swarovski and Lladro figurines🙄. 3 fridges. I’m also guilty of partaking in this nonsense, so it’s on me too in many ways. 
We are prisoners of the very castle we’ve built!!
If we lived in a 2 bed condo in the Bay area, we could live comfortably!! we are both hitting 50 next year… so wtf do we need more for? 
How do I get this message across? Having no income for 6 months really clarified things in my head. I’m tired of being the provider all my life. I’ve been in therapy. I take anxiety medication every day. She sees me doing this. I’ve had dark thoughts of ending it all just so the fam realises what they need to be aware of. 
She wants to retire in the US. I’ve tried to tell her we cannot afford to and rather that we would  live like kings in India. 
I am really, REALLY stressed about how to manage this without destroying my marriage and happiness. I cannot live without her. Period. We haven’t ever even see a movie in a theater without each other. She is my life. She and my kids mean the world to me❤️
But I’m also worried I cannot deliver as needed. 
Am I the A*hole? Am I missing anything? How do I resolve this situation? What can I change in me to make this work? How can I get her to see and understand my POV?
Asking y’all this because I cannot ask anyone else. All my friends are her’s also and vice-versa.
TIA folks. 🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻

[perugu_vada]

@k2s uncle .. a call for you to throw chatgpt expert opinion on this matter 

[summer27]

[sarfaroshi]

22 minutes ago, kevinUsa said:

. I am the sole earning member for the past 15 yrs. Avg income over past 15 yrs is $400k+ p.a. Lived an expat life for many years in multiple countries. My parents fully dependent on me for past 24 yrs and are in India. Whole another story on entitled parents. Another big bottle needed for that . 🙄😆🤦🏽‍♂️
Was laid off last July for the first time in my life. Lousy time with the economy. Has been “apply apply no reply” since then☹️.
By the grace of the powers that be, I now have a couple of offers in play. One of them is in the snow belt  and the other is in the Bay Area(we now live in the sunbelt). Each of them are $400K roles. Struggle is that I am worried she sees both of them as downgrades to the lifestyle and is upset internally and clearly isn’t happy this means a move. 
As an aside but relevant point: 10 yrs ago, I urged her to do an exec MBA(she is brilliant and has been a topper all along, with 10+ yrs of work exp) from INSEAD and that we can pay the $200k fee no issues. I saw this as a way to de-risk the very situation I’m in now. She said she doesn’t want to study anymore. I respected that and dropped the topic. 
I now look around our home and we don’t use 1/2 of the space we own!! its to stack we’ve collected over the years. Stupid Noritake dinner sets. Custom furniture.. Swarovski and Lladro figurines🙄. 3 fridges. I’m also guilty of partaking in this nonsense, so it’s on me too in many ways. 
We are prisoners of the very castle we’ve built!!
If we lived in a 2 bed condo in the Bay area, we could live comfortably!! we are both hitting 50 next year… so wtf do we need more for? 
How do I get this message across? Having no income for 6 months really clarified things in my head. I’m tired of being the provider all my life. I’ve been in therapy. I take anxiety medication every day. She sees me doing this. I’ve had dark thoughts of ending it all just so the fam realises what they need to be aware of. 
She wants to retire in the US. I’ve tried to tell her we cannot afford to and rather that we would  live like kings in India. 
I am really, REALLY stressed about how to manage this without destroying my marriage and happiness. I cannot live without her. Period. We haven’t ever even see a movie in a theater without each other. She is my life. She and my kids mean the world to me❤️
But I’m also worried I cannot deliver as needed. 
Am I the A*hole? Am I missing anything? How do I resolve this situation? What can I change in me to make this work? How can I get her to see and understand my POV?
Asking y’all this because I cannot ask anyone else. All my friends are her’s also and vice-versa.
TIA folks. 🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻

Sell the house, Change the Wife is the solution.

[BattalaSathi]

29 minutes ago, kevinUsa said:

. I am the sole earning member for the past 15 yrs. Avg income over past 15 yrs is $400k+ p.a. Lived an expat life for many years in multiple countries. My parents fully dependent on me for past 24 yrs and are in India. Whole another story on entitled parents. Another big bottle needed for that . 🙄😆🤦🏽‍♂️
Was laid off last July for the first time in my life. Lousy time with the economy. Has been “apply apply no reply” since then☹️.
By the grace of the powers that be, I now have a couple of offers in play. One of them is in the snow belt  and the other is in the Bay Area(we now live in the sunbelt). Each of them are $400K roles. Struggle is that I am worried she sees both of them as downgrades to the lifestyle and is upset internally and clearly isn’t happy this means a move. 
As an aside but relevant point: 10 yrs ago, I urged her to do an exec MBA(she is brilliant and has been a topper all along, with 10+ yrs of work exp) from INSEAD and that we can pay the $200k fee no issues. I saw this as a way to de-risk the very situation I’m in now. She said she doesn’t want to study anymore. I respected that and dropped the topic. 
I now look around our home and we don’t use 1/2 of the space we own!! its to stack we’ve collected over the years. Stupid Noritake dinner sets. Custom furniture.. Swarovski and Lladro figurines🙄. 3 fridges. I’m also guilty of partaking in this nonsense, so it’s on me too in many ways. 
We are prisoners of the very castle we’ve built!!
If we lived in a 2 bed condo in the Bay area, we could live comfortably!! we are both hitting 50 next year… so wtf do we need more for? 
How do I get this message across? Having no income for 6 months really clarified things in my head. I’m tired of being the provider all my life. I’ve been in therapy. I take anxiety medication every day. She sees me doing this. I’ve had dark thoughts of ending it all just so the fam realises what they need to be aware of. 
She wants to retire in the US. I’ve tried to tell her we cannot afford to and rather that we would  live like kings in India. 
I am really, REALLY stressed about how to manage this without destroying my marriage and happiness. I cannot live without her. Period. We haven’t ever even see a movie in a theater without each other. She is my life. She and my kids mean the world to me❤️
But I’m also worried I cannot deliver as needed. 
Am I the A*hole? Am I missing anything? How do I resolve this situation? What can I change in me to make this work? How can I get her to see and understand my POV?
Asking y’all this because I cannot ask anyone else. All my friends are her’s also and vice-versa.
TIA folks. 🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻

rendu $400K offers chethilo unnaya?  stressed out aaa?  eee lakkana naa mushti bathuku choosthe emantaado??? 

[k2s]

31 minutes ago, kevinUsa said:

. I am the sole earning member for the past 15 yrs. Avg income over past 15 yrs is $400k+ p.a. Lived an expat life for many years in multiple countries. My parents fully dependent on me for past 24 yrs and are in India. Whole another story on entitled parents. Another big bottle needed for that . 🙄😆🤦🏽‍♂️
Was laid off last July for the first time in my life. Lousy time with the economy. Has been “apply apply no reply” since then☹️.
By the grace of the powers that be, I now have a couple of offers in play. One of them is in the snow belt  and the other is in the Bay Area(we now live in the sunbelt). Each of them are $400K roles. Struggle is that I am worried she sees both of them as downgrades to the lifestyle and is upset internally and clearly isn’t happy this means a move. 
As an aside but relevant point: 10 yrs ago, I urged her to do an exec MBA(she is brilliant and has been a topper all along, with 10+ yrs of work exp) from INSEAD and that we can pay the $200k fee no issues. I saw this as a way to de-risk the very situation I’m in now. She said she doesn’t want to study anymore. I respected that and dropped the topic. 
I now look around our home and we don’t use 1/2 of the space we own!! its to stack we’ve collected over the years. Stupid Noritake dinner sets. Custom furniture.. Swarovski and Lladro figurines🙄. 3 fridges. I’m also guilty of partaking in this nonsense, so it’s on me too in many ways. 
We are prisoners of the very castle we’ve built!!
If we lived in a 2 bed condo in the Bay area, we could live comfortably!! we are both hitting 50 next year… so wtf do we need more for? 
How do I get this message across? Having no income for 6 months really clarified things in my head. I’m tired of being the provider all my life. I’ve been in therapy. I take anxiety medication every day. She sees me doing this. I’ve had dark thoughts of ending it all just so the fam realises what they need to be aware of. 
She wants to retire in the US. I’ve tried to tell her we cannot afford to and rather that we would  live like kings in India. 
I am really, REALLY stressed about how to manage this without destroying my marriage and happiness. I cannot live without her. Period. We haven’t ever even see a movie in a theater without each other. She is my life. She and my kids mean the world to me❤️
But I’m also worried I cannot deliver as needed. 
Am I the A*hole? Am I missing anything? How do I resolve this situation? What can I change in me to make this work? How can I get her to see and understand my POV?
Asking y’all this because I cannot ask anyone else. All my friends are her’s also and vice-versa.
TIA folks. 🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻

 

28 minutes ago, perugu_vada said:

@k2s uncle .. a call for you to throw chatgpt expert opinion on this matter 

It sounds like you're going through a difficult time and facing some major stress and anxiety as you navigate this situation with your wife. It's important to remember that communication is key in any relationship, and it's okay to express your concerns and feelings to your partner.

It's understandable that you're worried about your wife's reaction to the potential move and the change in lifestyle, but it's important to have an open and honest conversation with her about your concerns and what you're both hoping for in the future. Consider sharing your thoughts and feelings about the situation, including how the layoff and job search have affected you, your perspective on financial stability and security, and your hopes for your relationship and life together.

You may also want to consider seeking the support of a therapist or counselor, who can provide a safe and confidential space for you to work through your feelings and help you find ways to effectively communicate with your partner.

Ultimately, it's important to remember that you're both in this together, and that you should approach the situation with a willingness to listen and understand each other's perspectives. Try to remain positive and focused on finding a solution that works for both of you, and seek support as needed.

[chintumintu1]

 akkuva tini Adi aragaka pote vache problems evi anukunta. Try eno

 

[uoY]

**** balisi Amaravathi citizen @futureofandhra lekka kottukuntunnadu.. balisinolla problems anni

[FrustratedVuncle]

59 minutes ago, kevinUsa said:

. I am the sole earning member for the past 15 yrs. Avg income over past 15 yrs is $400k+ p.a. Lived an expat life for many years in multiple countries. My parents fully dependent on me for past 24 yrs and are in India. Whole another story on entitled parents. Another big bottle needed for that . 🙄😆🤦🏽‍♂️
Was laid off last July for the first time in my life. Lousy time with the economy. Has been “apply apply no reply” since then☹️.
By the grace of the powers that be, I now have a couple of offers in play. One of them is in the snow belt  and the other is in the Bay Area(we now live in the sunbelt). Each of them are $400K roles. Struggle is that I am worried she sees both of them as downgrades to the lifestyle and is upset internally and clearly isn’t happy this means a move. 
As an aside but relevant point: 10 yrs ago, I urged her to do an exec MBA(she is brilliant and has been a topper all along, with 10+ yrs of work exp) from INSEAD and that we can pay the $200k fee no issues. I saw this as a way to de-risk the very situation I’m in now. She said she doesn’t want to study anymore. I respected that and dropped the topic. 
I now look around our home and we don’t use 1/2 of the space we own!! its to stack we’ve collected over the years. Stupid Noritake dinner sets. Custom furniture.. Swarovski and Lladro figurines🙄. 3 fridges. I’m also guilty of partaking in this nonsense, so it’s on me too in many ways. 
We are prisoners of the very castle we’ve built!!
If we lived in a 2 bed condo in the Bay area, we could live comfortably!! we are both hitting 50 next year… so wtf do we need more for? 
How do I get this message across? Having no income for 6 months really clarified things in my head. I’m tired of being the provider all my life. I’ve been in therapy. I take anxiety medication every day. She sees me doing this. I’ve had dark thoughts of ending it all just so the fam realises what they need to be aware of. 
She wants to retire in the US. I’ve tried to tell her we cannot afford to and rather that we would  live like kings in India. 
I am really, REALLY stressed about how to manage this without destroying my marriage and happiness. I cannot live without her. Period. We haven’t ever even see a movie in a theater without each other. She is my life. She and my kids mean the world to me❤️
But I’m also worried I cannot deliver as needed. 
Am I the A*hole? Am I missing anything? How do I resolve this situation? What can I change in me to make this work? How can I get her to see and understand my POV?
Asking y’all this because I cannot ask anyone else. All my friends are her’s also and vice-versa.
TIA folks. 🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻

Holy cow avg income over past 15 yrs is 400k. 

And he is worried about job now? wtf myan where did all the money go?

[Gaali_Gottam_Govinda]

Sorry to say this.... but You guys are spoiled as fck... this looks like rich people problems... Your immense love towards her spoiled her firstly and let her stubbornness control you and you went along with it to make her happy...... If you keep on doing things like this for next 10 years.

this will be your future 

 

[Shameless]

1 hour ago, kevinUsa said:

. I am the sole earning member for the past 15 yrs. Avg income over past 15 yrs is $400k+ p.a. Lived an expat life for many years in multiple countries. My parents fully dependent on me for past 24 yrs and are in India. Whole another story on entitled parents. Another big bottle needed for that . 🙄😆🤦🏽‍♂️
Was laid off last July for the first time in my life. Lousy time with the economy. Has been “apply apply no reply” since then☹️.
By the grace of the powers that be, I now have a couple of offers in play. One of them is in the snow belt  and the other is in the Bay Area(we now live in the sunbelt). Each of them are $400K roles. Struggle is that I am worried she sees both of them as downgrades to the lifestyle and is upset internally and clearly isn’t happy this means a move. 
As an aside but relevant point: 10 yrs ago, I urged her to do an exec MBA(she is brilliant and has been a topper all along, with 10+ yrs of work exp) from INSEAD and that we can pay the $200k fee no issues. I saw this as a way to de-risk the very situation I’m in now. She said she doesn’t want to study anymore. I respected that and dropped the topic. 
I now look around our home and we don’t use 1/2 of the space we own!! its to stack we’ve collected over the years. Stupid Noritake dinner sets. Custom furniture.. Swarovski and Lladro figurines🙄. 3 fridges. I’m also guilty of partaking in this nonsense, so it’s on me too in many ways. 
We are prisoners of the very castle we’ve built!!
If we lived in a 2 bed condo in the Bay area, we could live comfortably!! we are both hitting 50 next year… so wtf do we need more for? 
How do I get this message across? Having no income for 6 months really clarified things in my head. I’m tired of being the provider all my life. I’ve been in therapy. I take anxiety medication every day. She sees me doing this. I’ve had dark thoughts of ending it all just so the fam realises what they need to be aware of. 
She wants to retire in the US. I’ve tried to tell her we cannot afford to and rather that we would  live like kings in India. 
I am really, REALLY stressed about how to manage this without destroying my marriage and happiness. I cannot live without her. Period. We haven’t ever even see a movie in a theater without each other. She is my life. She and my kids mean the world to me❤️
But I’m also worried I cannot deliver as needed. 
Am I the A*hole? Am I missing anything? How do I resolve this situation? What can I change in me to make this work? How can I get her to see and understand my POV?
Asking y’all this because I cannot ask anyone else. All my friends are her’s also and vice-versa.
TIA folks. 🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻

just read this on FB...

wife and kids are totally adapted to the hi-fi lifestyle here probably including him too but he just realized after losing his job that little is enough to survive...it will be hard to convince the wife though....he said he loves his wife so much, so separation wouldn't work for him...

[mettastar]

34 minutes ago, Shameless said:

just read this on FB...

wife and kids are totally adapted to the hi-fi lifestyle here probably including him too but he just realized after losing his job that little is enough to survive...it will be hard to convince the wife though....he said he loves his wife so much, so separation wouldn't work for him...

Rendu pay check lu padithe vuncle anni marchipothadu mqlli

[futureofandhra]

1 hour ago, uoY said:

**** balisi Amaravathi citizen @futureofandhra lekka kottukuntunnadu.. balisinolla problems anni

Ee thread lo kooda amaravati meedha crying chesi proved my point

If am that rich I won't bother about amaravati itself 

[Pandubabu]

2 hours ago, kevinUsa said:

. I am the sole earning member for the past 15 yrs. Avg income over past 15 yrs is $400k+ p.a. Lived an expat life for many years in multiple countries. My parents fully dependent on me for past 24 yrs and are in India. Whole another story on entitled parents. Another big bottle needed for that . 🙄😆🤦🏽‍♂️
Was laid off last July for the first time in my life. Lousy time with the economy. Has been “apply apply no reply” since then☹️.
By the grace of the powers that be, I now have a couple of offers in play. One of them is in the snow belt  and the other is in the Bay Area(we now live in the sunbelt). Each of them are $400K roles. Struggle is that I am worried she sees both of them as downgrades to the lifestyle and is upset internally and clearly isn’t happy this means a move. 
As an aside but relevant point: 10 yrs ago, I urged her to do an exec MBA(she is brilliant and has been a topper all along, with 10+ yrs of work exp) from INSEAD and that we can pay the $200k fee no issues. I saw this as a way to de-risk the very situation I’m in now. She said she doesn’t want to study anymore. I respected that and dropped the topic. 
I now look around our home and we don’t use 1/2 of the space we own!! its to stack we’ve collected over the years. Stupid Noritake dinner sets. Custom furniture.. Swarovski and Lladro figurines🙄. 3 fridges. I’m also guilty of partaking in this nonsense, so it’s on me too in many ways. 
We are prisoners of the very castle we’ve built!!
If we lived in a 2 bed condo in the Bay area, we could live comfortably!! we are both hitting 50 next year… so wtf do we need more for? 
How do I get this message across? Having no income for 6 months really clarified things in my head. I’m tired of being the provider all my life. I’ve been in therapy. I take anxiety medication every day. She sees me doing this. I’ve had dark thoughts of ending it all just so the fam realises what they need to be aware of. 
She wants to retire in the US. I’ve tried to tell her we cannot afford to and rather that we would  live like kings in India. 
I am really, REALLY stressed about how to manage this without destroying my marriage and happiness. I cannot live without her. Period. We haven’t ever even see a movie in a theater without each other. She is my life. She and my kids mean the world to me❤️
But I’m also worried I cannot deliver as needed. 
Am I the A*hole? Am I missing anything? How do I resolve this situation? What can I change in me to make this work? How can I get her to see and understand my POV?
Asking y’all this because I cannot ask anyone else. All my friends are her’s also and vice-versa.
TIA folks. 🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻

Uncle ki job  poina frustration lo.., naa bathuku antha veella kosam kasta padalsi vasthundhi, but they are not listening to me ane feeling vachindhi..

He does not know magadi jeevitham , chache Dhaka dasoham ani, especially if he loves wife and kids .

Two days lo settle authadu ..

[uoY]

59 minutes ago, futureofandhra said:

Ee thread lo kooda amaravati meedha crying chesi proved my point

If am that rich I won't bother about amaravati itself 

Neeku points ekkadunnayi to prove? Simple agend say whatever baabu say follow like sheep.. u guys reel ka baap actors hey