Returned to India 3 yrs back (Issue with Parents)

[problem]

hi all, i stayed in usa for 11 years and returned to india 3 yrs back......lyf and job everything is fyn here in india.......nenu e topic enduku vestunna ante chala mandi parents ni vadilesi us lo eppatiki ela untamu, eppatikina india vellipovali ani antaru......andariki naa experience cheptunna.......

first, nenu 2011 lo job pettanu, 2019 ending varuku us lo unnanu......india vachesi 3 yrs ayyindi......job start chesina daggara nunchi savings motham amts india pampinchukunna.......2014 lo purchased a house, where i iinvested 70% amt and father invested 30% amt.........thumb rule enti ante, even mee parents india lo unna, iddaru kalipi invest cheyyakandi, porapatuna parents emina money pedithe in house/apt purchase, vallu motham ownership teesukuntaru, valla ishtam vachinattu chestaru........naaku india vachinaduku eppudu badha padaledu, kani parents tho kalisi enduku untunna ani matram full feel avutunna.....veelu chusukuni nxt 1 yr lo ala vere seperate vellipodamani plan.......60+ vachaka parents nasa, chadastam barinchalemu......arey mana son 11 yrs vere country lo undi, antha sonthanga earn chesukuni settle ayyadu kada, ikkadiki vachaka manam prathi dantlo involve avvakudadu kada ani minimum alochincharu.......they want the information of every minor thing that happens......please note naaku maa parents chala chala close when i was in usa.......ippudu e nasa, chadastam antha peaks lo undi, we are not used to this when we are in us, so india ravali ani evarina anukunte, my sincere advice seperate ga undandi, mana life style antha diff untundi, we cant deal with all the for the small small things with the parents

Second, maa house purchase lo 70% nenu and 30% father pettukunnaru........8 yrs ayyinidi kotha house complete ayyi, mthly oka 40k rent vastadi right now, naaku rents kavali, half and half teesukundamu ika nunchi rents annanu,  mamaulu ga penta cheyyaledu.......illu purchase lo memu money pettaleda, motham needi anukuntunnava, mammalni undanistava ledha intlonchi vellipomantava antaru......antha gola gola, racha chesi, oka 1 yr rents icharu finally......maaku vere income kuda undi, rents ika nunchi half kadhu motham istamu, nuvve teesuko ani final ga 1 yr rents icharu......but iche mundu, gola chesi, godava padi, icharu........

Third, nenu us nunchi india vachetappudu koncham bulk amt valla accts ki pampinchukunna.......andhulo entha money undi adigithe, malli gola gola chesaru.....memu emina tinesamu anukuntunnava, maakemi nee money avasaram ledhu ani enno matalu annaru......emina money shortage anipiste transfer chesestamu ani aravatam..........final ga antha racha, godavatho unna amt antha fd veypinchanu........next, nenu bank acct fd vesinavi online acct kavali ani adigithe malli godava, e sari beebatsanga godava, anni fd vesesamu kada, inka neeku online enduku antaru........again too much racha cheyyatam.......

nenu pina points ekkuavaga financial topics cheppanu.......ika chinna chinnavi chala untayi.......60+ vachaka parents chadastam, nasa peaks lo untadi......manam anni yrs vere country lo undi, india lo settle valla chadastam barinchalemu.......naaku emi anipinchindi ante, nenu motham transparent ga untu, first nunchi money antha save chesukuni, vallaki pampinchanu......naaku income entha vastadi, entha savings ani information share chesukune vadini.....but return ga emina adigithe full godava, igo ki potharu.........especially my dad, ayanaki edhi kuda kids ki chepparu, none of his assets vishayalu.......valla daggari assets vachedi valla tadanantarame, which is fyn, avi valla own assets kabatti, kani naavi adigina full ga godavalu padi, racha chesi, final ga settle chesaru (Except online access of bank accts).......

1) thumb rule 1, intha detailed ga enduku cheptunna ante, people who think abt returning back to india, dont stay with ur parents.......seperate ga undandi.....15 days or 1 mth ki okasari kalavandi.......we got used to some life style for long time in usa, a taruvatha kalisi undalemu, no matter how close you are with ur parents........

2) thumb rule 2, if you have plans to settle in usa only, plz plz india okka rupee pampakandi.........rasi pettukondi, pampinavi malla us teppinchukovali ante mamuluga chukkalu kanipinchavu.........parents ki pampiste, malla adigithe racha racha chestaru........dont send money to india if you dont have plans to return to india.......e points naa personal experience tho cheptunna......

 

[Salimfaker]

mods vellena content writers meru hire cheskundi? 

[Truth_Holds]

6 minutes ago, problem said:

hi all, i stayed in usa for 11 years and returned to india 3 yrs back......lyf and job everything is fyn here in india.......nenu e topic enduku vestunna ante chala mandi parents ni vadilesi us lo eppatiki ela untamu, eppatikina india vellipovali ani antaru......andariki naa experience cheptunna.......

first, nenu 2011 lo job pettanu, 2019 ending varuku us lo unnanu......india vachesi 3 yrs ayyindi......job start chesina daggara nunchi savings motham amts india pampinchukunna.......2014 lo purchased a house, where i iinvested 70% amt and father invested 30% amt.........thumb rule enti ante, even mee parents india lo unna, iddaru kalipi invest cheyyakandi, porapatuna parents emina money pedithe in house/apt purchase, vallu motham ownership teesukuntaru, valla ishtam vachinattu chestaru........naaku india vachinaduku eppudu badha padaledu, kani parents tho kalisi enduku untunna ani matram full feel avutunna.....veelu chusukuni nxt 1 yr lo ala vere seperate vellipodamani plan.......60+ vachaka parents nasa, chadastam barinchalemu......arey mana son 11 yrs vere country lo undi, antha sonthanga earn chesukuni settle ayyadu kada, ikkadiki vachaka manam prathi dantlo involve avvakudadu kada ani minimum alochincharu.......they want the information of every minor thing that happens......please note naaku maa parents chala chala close when i was in usa.......ippudu e nasa, chadastam antha peaks lo undi, we are not used to this when we are in us, so india ravali ani evarina anukunte, my sincere advice seperate ga undandi, mana life style antha diff untundi, we cant deal with all the for the small small things with the parents

Second, maa house purchase lo 70% nenu and 30% father pettukunnaru........8 yrs ayyinidi kotha house complete ayyi, mthly oka 40k rent vastadi right now, naaku rents kavali, half and half teesukundamu ika nunchi rents annanu,  mamaulu ga penta cheyyaledu.......illu purchase lo memu money pettaleda, motham needi anukuntunnava, mammalni undanistava ledha intlonchi vellipomantava antaru......antha gola gola, racha chesi, oka 1 yr rents icharu finally......maaku vere income kuda undi, rents ika nunchi half kadhu motham istamu, nuvve teesuko ani final ga 1 yr rents icharu......but iche mundu, gola chesi, godava padi, icharu........

Third, nenu us nunchi india vachetappudu koncham bulk amt valla accts ki pampinchukunna.......andhulo entha money undi adigithe, malli gola gola chesaru.....memu emina tinesamu anukuntunnava, maakemi nee money avasaram ledhu ani enno matalu annaru......emina money shortage anipiste transfer chesestamu ani aravatam..........final ga antha racha, godavatho unna amt antha fd veypinchanu........next, nenu bank acct fd vesinavi online acct kavali ani adigithe malli godava, e sari beebatsanga godava, anni fd vesesamu kada, inka neeku online enduku antaru........again too much racha cheyyatam.......

nenu pina points ekkuavaga financial topics cheppanu.......ika chinna chinnavi chala untayi.......60+ vachaka parents chadastam, nasa peaks lo untadi......manam anni yrs vere country lo undi, india lo settle valla chadastam barinchalemu.......naaku emi anipinchindi ante, nenu motham transparent ga untu, first nunchi money antha save chesukuni, vallaki pampinchanu......naaku income entha vastadi, entha savings ani information share chesukune vadini.....but return ga emina adigithe full godava, igo ki potharu.........especially my dad, ayanaki edhi kuda kids ki chepparu, none of his assets vishayalu.......valla daggari assets vachedi valla tadanantarame, which is fyn, avi valla own assets kabatti, kani naavi adigina full ga godavalu padi, racha chesi, final ga settle chesaru (Except online access of bank accts).......

1) thumb rule 1, intha detailed ga enduku cheptunna ante, people who think abt returning back to india, dont stay with ur parents.......seperate ga undandi.....15 days or 1 mth ki okasari kalavandi.......we got used to some life style for long time in usa, a taruvatha kalisi undalemu, no matter how close you are with ur parents........

2) thumb rule 2, if you have plans to settle in usa only, plz plz india okka rupee pampakandi.........rasi pettukondi, pampinavi malla us teppinchukovali ante mamuluga chukkalu kanipinchavu.........parents ki pampiste, malla adigithe racha racha chestaru........dont send money to india if you dont have plans to return to india.......e points naa personal experience tho cheptunna......

 

Agree..

[Thokkalee]

As people get older, they get very narrow minded and so inflexible.. doesn’t matter whether they are in India or in US… everytime my parents come here, I see big difference in them from trip to trip.. I have seen that in my grand parents too when I was a kid.. 

[Peddayana]

sry about your situation bro, ippudu choodu nee thread ki oka naluguru  db vuncles vachi cinema dialogues kodatharu parents gods etc ani, lite teesuko vallani

atleast you realized that they are also 'human' , growing up we view parents as infallible but overtime we realize that they are just like anyone, they get angry, jealous, make mistakes etc

desi parents feel like since they raised you, whatever you earn will belong to them by default, they have a sense of entitlement

helping parents in need, making sure they are eating well, enjoying life and treating them with latest gadgets is all fine but if you send money with out any need, they will feel like you are betraying them/they are losing control on you when the money flow stops and hence the drama

Also, agree that they get involved and try to control every aspect of your life, from soap to shopping, overbearing

Ideal situation is staying close enough (< 30 min commute) with parents but not staying close (same house or right next door), nee intlo unte inka you will not get mental peace due to daily drama from them and your wife, so move away!

good luck!

 

[Original Profile]

25 minutes ago, problem said:

hi all, i stayed in usa for 11 years and returned to india 3 yrs back......lyf and job everything is fyn here in india.......nenu e topic enduku vestunna ante chala mandi parents ni vadilesi us lo eppatiki ela untamu, eppatikina india vellipovali ani antaru......andariki naa experience cheptunna.......

first, nenu 2011 lo job pettanu, 2019 ending varuku us lo unnanu......india vachesi 3 yrs ayyindi......job start chesina daggara nunchi savings motham amts india pampinchukunna.......2014 lo purchased a house, where i iinvested 70% amt and father invested 30% amt.........thumb rule enti ante, even mee parents india lo unna, iddaru kalipi invest cheyyakandi, porapatuna parents emina money pedithe in house/apt purchase, vallu motham ownership teesukuntaru, valla ishtam vachinattu chestaru........naaku india vachinaduku eppudu badha padaledu, kani parents tho kalisi enduku untunna ani matram full feel avutunna.....veelu chusukuni nxt 1 yr lo ala vere seperate vellipodamani plan.......60+ vachaka parents nasa, chadastam barinchalemu......arey mana son 11 yrs vere country lo undi, antha sonthanga earn chesukuni settle ayyadu kada, ikkadiki vachaka manam prathi dantlo involve avvakudadu kada ani minimum alochincharu.......they want the information of every minor thing that happens......please note naaku maa parents chala chala close when i was in usa.......ippudu e nasa, chadastam antha peaks lo undi, we are not used to this when we are in us, so india ravali ani evarina anukunte, my sincere advice seperate ga undandi, mana life style antha diff untundi, we cant deal with all the for the small small things with the parents

Second, maa house purchase lo 70% nenu and 30% father pettukunnaru........8 yrs ayyinidi kotha house complete ayyi, mthly oka 40k rent vastadi right now, naaku rents kavali, half and half teesukundamu ika nunchi rents annanu,  mamaulu ga penta cheyyaledu.......illu purchase lo memu money pettaleda, motham needi anukuntunnava, mammalni undanistava ledha intlonchi vellipomantava antaru......antha gola gola, racha chesi, oka 1 yr rents icharu finally......maaku vere income kuda undi, rents ika nunchi half kadhu motham istamu, nuvve teesuko ani final ga 1 yr rents icharu......but iche mundu, gola chesi, godava padi, icharu........

Third, nenu us nunchi india vachetappudu koncham bulk amt valla accts ki pampinchukunna.......andhulo entha money undi adigithe, malli gola gola chesaru.....memu emina tinesamu anukuntunnava, maakemi nee money avasaram ledhu ani enno matalu annaru......emina money shortage anipiste transfer chesestamu ani aravatam..........final ga antha racha, godavatho unna amt antha fd veypinchanu........next, nenu bank acct fd vesinavi online acct kavali ani adigithe malli godava, e sari beebatsanga godava, anni fd vesesamu kada, inka neeku online enduku antaru........again too much racha cheyyatam.......

nenu pina points ekkuavaga financial topics cheppanu.......ika chinna chinnavi chala untayi.......60+ vachaka parents chadastam, nasa peaks lo untadi......manam anni yrs vere country lo undi, india lo settle valla chadastam barinchalemu.......naaku emi anipinchindi ante, nenu motham transparent ga untu, first nunchi money antha save chesukuni, vallaki pampinchanu......naaku income entha vastadi, entha savings ani information share chesukune vadini.....but return ga emina adigithe full godava, igo ki potharu.........especially my dad, ayanaki edhi kuda kids ki chepparu, none of his assets vishayalu.......valla daggari assets vachedi valla tadanantarame, which is fyn, avi valla own assets kabatti, kani naavi adigina full ga godavalu padi, racha chesi, final ga settle chesaru (Except online access of bank accts).......

1) thumb rule 1, intha detailed ga enduku cheptunna ante, people who think abt returning back to india, dont stay with ur parents.......seperate ga undandi.....15 days or 1 mth ki okasari kalavandi.......we got used to some life style for long time in usa, a taruvatha kalisi undalemu, no matter how close you are with ur parents........

2) thumb rule 2, if you have plans to settle in usa only, plz plz india okka rupee pampakandi.........rasi pettukondi, pampinavi malla us teppinchukovali ante mamuluga chukkalu kanipinchavu.........parents ki pampiste, malla adigithe racha racha chestaru........dont send money to india if you dont have plans to return to india.......e points naa personal experience tho cheptunna......

 

Maa intlo Antha reverse. Nenu money tesukondi trips vellandi enjoy cheyyandi anta….vallu emo tesukoru eppudu Ayina gold and other big purchases vunte thappa. And eppudu Naku Edo okati ivvalane think chestharu

[DalchanChekka]

Good that you guys are able to see things the way they are and not being delusional 

[DalchanChekka]

2 minutes ago, Original Profile said:

Maa intlo Antha reverse. Nenu money tesukondi trips vellandi enjoy cheyyandi anta….vallu emo tesukoru eppudu Ayina gold and other big purchases vunte thappa. And eppudu Naku Edo okati ivvalane think chestharu

Every family has it’s own dynamic. If you’re privileged from the beginning you wouldn’t be able to relate.

[csrcsr]

Ivi jeevithalu manaavi parents tho kuda swriga undaleru , repu pillalu mana mudddi mida tanni potharu akada job untado.ledo teliyadu diniki Instagram sm lo show off, anow lo dancing  rofl good luck nri techie community in front therr is crocodile festival 

[Salimfaker]

Lol topic post chesi poyadu content writer no response 

[problem]

16 minutes ago, Peddayana said:

sry about your situation bro, ippudu choodu nee thread ki oka naluguru  db vuncles vachi cinema dialogues kodatharu parents gods etc ani, lite teesuko vallani

atleast you realized that they are also 'human' , growing up we view parents as infallible but overtime we realize that they are just like anyone, they get angry, jealous, make mistakes etc

desi parents feel like since they raised you, whatever you earn will belong to them by default, they have a sense of entitlement

helping parents in need, making sure they are eating well, enjoying life and treating them with latest gadgets is all fine but if you send money with out any need, they will feel like you are betraying them/they are losing control on you when the money flow stops and hence the drama

Also, agree that they get involved and try to control every aspect of your life, from soap to shopping, overbearing

Ideal situation is staying close enough (< 30 min commute) with parents but not staying close (same house or right next door), nee intlo unte inka you will not get mental peace due to daily drama from them and your wife, so move away!

good luck!

 

nuvvu 100% ardham chesukunnavu nannu......parents ki emina avasaralu and basic needs avasaram unte chusukovali, that is our min responsibility.......valla basic living ki etuvanti ibbandi ledhu antewe should not send any money to them......inkoti correct ga cheppavu, they get involved and try to control every aspect of our life......adhe dooram unte idhi undadu.....nenu anni yrs dooranga undi, ippudu kalisi unte telustundi difference......

 

also last point, yes i am planing to move to seperate house, which is 40 mins commute, kalisi undi chinna chinna minute vishayallo vallatho matalu anipinchukolenu......

[Thokkalee]

39 minutes ago, Thokkalee said:

As people get older, they get very narrow minded and so inflexible.. doesn’t matter whether they are in India or in US… everytime my parents come here, I see big difference in them from trip to trip.. I have seen that in my grand parents too when I was a kid.. 

I think this is the circle of life.. they grow older and become kids again and then like babies…

Also as they become old, they become more and more like small kids.. adamant ga, thikka ga, chadastham ga untaaru.. tantrums untaayi.. 

one time (last year summer lo) we planned a trip and were about to leave.. all of a sudden, my dad said he doesn’t want to come and that he will stay home and we can go.. he won’t say why.. he just said he doesn’t want to come, that’s it.. it took 2 hours of convincing him to make him come on the trip.. luckily it was a road trip and we had time.. 😄

[Thokkalee]

25 minutes ago, Original Profile said:

Maa intlo Antha reverse. Nenu money tesukondi trips vellandi enjoy cheyyandi anta….vallu emo tesukoru eppudu Ayina gold and other big purchases vunte thappa. And eppudu Naku Edo okati ivvalane think chestharu

I have seen that phase too.. but give it some time and you will understand what OP is talking about.. 

[argadorn]

14 minutes ago, problem said:

nuvvu 100% ardham chesukunnavu nannu......parents ki emina avasaralu and basic needs avasaram unte chusukovali, that is our min responsibility.......valla basic living ki etuvanti ibbandi ledhu antewe should not send any money to them......inkoti correct ga cheppavu, they get involved and try to control every aspect of our life......adhe dooram unte idhi undadu.....nenu anni yrs dooranga undi, ippudu kalisi unte telustundi difference......

 

also last point, yes i am planing to move to seperate house, which is 40 mins commute, kalisi undi chinna chinna minute vishayallo vallatho matalu anipinchukolenu......

You are expecting respect but they won’t give  that since you are working and earning money. They want you to bend until they live 

[argadorn]

8 minutes ago, Thokkalee said:

I think this is the circle of life.. they grow older and become kids again and then like babies…

Also as they become old, they become more and more like small kids.. adamant ga, thikka ga, chadastham ga untaaru.. tantrums untaayi.. 

one time (last year summer lo) we planned a trip and were about to leave.. all of a sudden, my dad said he doesn’t want to come and that he will stay home and we can go.. he won’t say why.. he just said he doesn’t want to come, that’s it.. it took 2 hours of convincing him to make him come on the trip.. luckily it was a road trip and we had time.. 😄

Legs pain emo