Returned to India 3 yrs back (Issue with Parents)

[problem]

4 minutes ago, argadorn said:

You are expecting respect but they won’t give  that since you are working and earning money. They want you to bend until they live 

respect ani kadhu......whatever the financial transactions are there in the house, avanni share chesukovachu kada antunna......transprarency maintain cheyyachu kada......nenemo anni cheppali, vallaemi emi chepparanta.....so nenu cheppatam manesanu ika.......

and mana lyf chinna chinna things assalu invvolve avvakudau valli ani expect chestunna.....small things lyk e roju outside food enduku order chestunavu, bayatiki enduku veltunnavu, tax returns filing chesetappudu yeah deductions entha pedutuannavu etc......neeeku pina cheppina e examples anni nijangane vallu adugutharu....

[Sanjiv]

Always be in control of your money and property! It's your's - you earned it by working hard.

If you take care of matters such that your parents' basic needs are met for a comfortable life, giving them any more money (thinking that they have better money management skills than you do) will be a blunder. Money will be safer in your hands in the USA even if you lack money management skills.

[Peddayana]

15 minutes ago, Thokkalee said:

I think this is the circle of life.. they grow older and become kids again and then like babies…

Also as they become old, they become more and more like small kids.. adamant ga, thikka ga, chadastham ga untaaru.. tantrums untaayi.. 

one time (last year summer lo) we planned a trip and were about to leave.. all of a sudden, my dad said he doesn’t want to come and that he will stay home and we can go.. he won’t say why.. he just said he doesn’t want to come, that’s it.. it took 2 hours of convincing him to make him come on the trip.. luckily it was a road trip and we had time.. 😄

he was probably offended by something someone did and threw a tantrum mostly, ilantivi chala choosanu bhayyo nenu...

[hch]

1 hour ago, problem said:

1) thumb rule 1, intha detailed ga enduku cheptunna ante, people who think abt returning back to india, dont stay with ur parents.......seperate ga undandi.....15 days or 1 mth ki okasari kalavandi.......we got used to some life style for long time in usa, a taruvatha kalisi undalemu, no matter how close you are with ur parents........

2) thumb rule 2, if you have plans to settle in usa only, plz plz india okka rupee pampakandi.........rasi pettukondi, pampinavi malla us teppinchukovali ante mamuluga chukkalu kanipinchavu.........parents ki pampiste, malla adigithe racha racha chestaru........dont send money to india if you dont have plans to return to india.......e points naa personal experience tho cheptunna......

So you are generalizing based on a single incident and painting a picture that all parents are money minded? Just bcoz your parents are materialistic doesn't mean every one in the world are

You should know where to draw the line whether it's your parents, siblings or your partner

[DalchanChekka]

2 minutes ago, hch said:

So you are generalizing based on a single incident and painting a picture that all parents are money minded? Just bcoz your parents are materialistic doesn't mean every one in the world are

You should know where to draw the line whether it's your parents, siblings or your partner

parents become insecure and selfish as they age. Vallani pattinchukomu ani bhayapadatharu.

[Thokkalee]

17 minutes ago, argadorn said:

Legs pain emo

No.. he walks 4-5 miles every day

[problem]

14 minutes ago, hch said:

So you are generalizing based on a single incident and painting a picture that all parents are money minded? Just bcoz your parents are materialistic doesn't mean every one in the world are

You should know where to draw the line whether it's your parents, siblings or your partner

andaru parents ala untaru ani nenu analedhu.......nenu cheppina final point, dont send all your money to your parents......valla basic needs ki iste ok, but motham pampakudadu.......most of the desi parents age ipoyaka vallani chusukolemo ani evi properties, money gurinchi asalu share chesukoru kids tho....

[hch]

5 minutes ago, DalchanChekka said:

parents become insecure and selfish as they age. Vallani pattinchukomu ani bhayapadatharu.

Another generalized statement bro. Not every parent. Of course Indian culture lo you need to look after your parents and is expected from any male child (in most cases). clearly op doesn't know where to draw the line and now painting a picture that all parents are money minded. He is saying don't send money don't stay with them. this is exteme case and not everyone will be like that

do you plan lo depending on your kids?

[problem]

19 minutes ago, Sanjiv said:

Always be in control of your money and property! It's your's - you earned it by working hard.

If you take care of matters such that your parent's basic needs are met for a comfortable life, giving them any more money (thinking that they have better money management skills than you do) will be a blunder. Money will be safer in your hands in the USA even if you lack money management skills.

whatever you told is 100% correct......always control your money and property, it is yours......vallaki mana kante ekkuva money management skills unnayi anukuni vallaki money pampiste blunder, person india lo unna or us lo unna sare, manam money management maname chesukovali......

[problem]

4 minutes ago, hch said:

Another generalized statement bro. Not every parent. Of course Indian culture lo you need to look after your parents and is expected from any male child (in most cases). clearly op doesn't know where to draw the line and now painting a picture that all parents are money minded. He is saying don't send money don't stay with them. this is exteme case and not everyone will be like that

do you plan lo depending on your kids?

parents basic needs unte money pampinchukovachu.......what i mean to say is dont send all your savings to them and depend on them for everything.....kontha mandi naa point ni ardham cheskunnaru, may be neeku different ga ardham ayyundachu....

one more point.......dont live with them ante, adedo vallani complete ga vadilesi marchipovatam kadhu......chala yrs seperate ga undi, vallatho kalisi same house lo undatam kashtam......so if you plan to return back to india from us, plan to stay in seperate house antunna.....

 

 

[hch]

2 minutes ago, problem said:

andaru parents ala untaru ani nenu analedhu.......nenu cheppina final point, dont send all your money to your parents......valla basic needs ki iste ok, but motham pampakudadu.......most of the desi parents age ipoyaka vallani chusukolemo ani evi properties, money gurinchi asalu share chesukoru kids tho....

nuvvu cheppindi ade kada bro..thumb rule 1,2 ani..depends, you can send all your money or some ..nuvvu anni years vallatho gadipi nappudu neeku ardham avvalaleda vallu money minded o kaado ani. I know both types of parents who suck the blood out of their kids and who are independent and dont touch their kids money.

Anyways I am not here to argue with you. Good that you realized that now and till take steps according to your situation. All the best

 

[DalchanChekka]

16 minutes ago, hch said:

Another generalized statement bro. Not every parent. Of course Indian culture lo you need to look after your parents and is expected from any male child (in most cases). clearly op doesn't know where to draw the line and now painting a picture that all parents are money minded. He is saying don't send money don't stay with them. this is exteme case and not everyone will be like that

do you plan lo depending on your kids?

I will not depend on anyone. Life has taught me really hard lessons at a very early age. I don’t expect anything from a second person. I am trying really hard but not there yet though.

[NotSoBusy]

1 hour ago, Original Profile said:

Maa intlo Antha reverse. Nenu money tesukondi trips vellandi enjoy cheyyandi anta….vallu emo tesukoru eppudu Ayina gold and other big purchases vunte thappa. And eppudu Naku Edo okati ivvalane think chestharu

I think this guy's parents are a little insecure for whatever reason, Money motham ichesthey old age lo malli pattichukokunda vellipothaadu emo ani ankunta 

[NotSoBusy]

1 hour ago, Salimfaker said:

Lol topic post chesi poyadu content writer no response 

mods just post eyyataanike payment ichi untaaru  , every response 5rs extra

[quickgun_murugun]

3 hours ago, Peddayana said:

sry about your situation bro, ippudu choodu nee thread ki oka naluguru  db vuncles vachi cinema dialogues kodatharu parents gods etc ani, lite teesuko vallani

atleast you realized that they are also 'human' , growing up we view parents as infallible but overtime we realize that they are just like anyone, they get angry, jealous, make mistakes etc

desi parents feel like since they raised you, whatever you earn will belong to them by default, they have a sense of entitlement

helping parents in need, making sure they are eating well, enjoying life and treating them with latest gadgets is all fine but if you send money with out any need, they will feel like you are betraying them/they are losing control on you when the money flow stops and hence the drama

Also, agree that they get involved and try to control every aspect of your life, from soap to shopping, overbearing

Ideal situation is staying close enough (< 30 min commute) with parents but not staying close (same house or right next door), nee intlo unte inka you will not get mental peace due to daily drama from them and your wife, so move away!

good luck!

 

Definitely don’t send money to India if we are not managing that money !