Father drowned in debt. I keep pulling him out and I am done.

[praying]

Chala mande unnatu unnaru e ship lo, i thought i was alone. Very interesting, some times mari antha money making machine laga kanapadutunnana anipistundhi but at the end sare le ani adjust aipotunna. I think i am on the edge of that threshold right now and might break at any point

[yemdoing]

8 hours ago, Android_Halwa said:

Some things need to be dealt in a rough way. 

Next time when he asks you to bail out, do bail him out but start asking interest for all the previous bail outs and ask him when does he plan to repay back. 
 

Atarvat niku malli phone cheyaru..

This is worst advice 

[krishnaaa]

9 hours ago, Pandubabu said:

I keep pulling him out of debt and he takes new debt. He earns more than a lakh per month. Absolutely zero commercial properties on his name. 10 lakhs worth agricultural properties from ancestors . He goes with some business and utterly fails.  I pulled him out atleast thrice so far with around 20-25  lakhs.

I told him not to involve in anything else  but does it anyway behind my back. He comes back when someone sits on his throat for repayment.

Now that I am married with kids , it is very difficult to keep sending these huge amounts both financially and relationship with wife wise..

My savings are under 50k and most of the savings are after my wife started working recently.  It is unfair to her to keep sending the money to India.

When asked him about how much he owes in total so that I can do final settlement ,  he does not respond with number and he just asks how much I can give him. 

I love my dad. He loves me so much . He loves me more than anyone else in this world, but this is becoming very difficult to handle.

Just venting..

Don't  bail him out.

Let him put IP

It's unethical to take money away from your wife an kids for an idiot.

You will be the idiot if you do it.

[argadorn]

India gent fathers chala relax and think 20 lakhs is nothing 

[argadorn]

I need to appreciate my mom on this .. she will write each and every amount I sent to her … she will take responsibility when money needed in india 

[praying]

15 minutes ago, argadorn said:

India gent fathers chala relax and think 20 lakhs is nothing 

 

13 minutes ago, argadorn said:

I need to appreciate my mom on this .. she will write each and every amount I sent to her … she will take responsibility when money needed in india 

Kattedi nenu kakpothe nenu kuda alage think chestha

[gnr]

Nuvvu money ivvanu annav ante no phones from ur parents,no fatherly love and all..

Anthaa paisale.. no affection no love no relations

 

[Android_Halwa]

2 hours ago, yemdoing said:

This is worst advice 

Yeah, you are repaying and you don’t know where the leak is and you have been doing this for years now, What is that you think you are doing ? 
 

Money deserves utmost respect and responsibility. Adi lekapothey Edi ledu, jeevithaniki ardam ae ledu…I don’t know which you live in but the world I live has two things primarily: Cheap money and expensive money. 

[JavaBava]

19 hours ago, Pandubabu said:

Unfortunately I dont have money. I need to pull credit.  I am happy to pull credit as well but I want to know this is it.

You are not seeing past the fact that he loves you. Parents have a lot of bad habits that we dont know growing up. May be thats how he lived all along and you never knew it. This is normal for him. Most probably all his circle of friends are similar and he thinks losing and debts are very normal and nothing to be afraid of. 
 

call everyone who gave money to him and ask them not to give money anymore. Let him deal with pressure for few months. Dont pay. 
 

bring him here for 6 months and extend it for another 6 months. Monitor all the calls who are asking for money. 

[Jindal]

10 hours ago, Android_Halwa said:

Yeah, you are repaying and you don’t know where the leak is and you have been doing this for years now, What is that you think you are doing ? 
 

Money deserves utmost respect and responsibility. Adi lekapothey Edi ledu, jeevithaniki ardam ae ledu…I don’t know which you live in but the world I live has two things primarily: Cheap money and expensive money. 

ne entire db career lo this is the best post.

you have all the knowledge and perspective to be a good person. be like that man

stop your non sense here

[kevinUsa]

I remember a similar thread has been posted few years ago

[reddyrao]

22 hours ago, praying said:

Did he get into debts because of some habits or is he somebody who spends a lot?

chuttu bhajana batch unte vollu marchipotharu. senses anni kolpotharu. evado auto vadu vaadi daughter marriage ki 5 lakhs kaavaali ante inkevari daggaro eeyana appu chesi aa auto vaadiki ichhadu anta. aa auto vadi daughter ki marriage ayindi, pillalu puttaaru but not even a penny returned so far. inkokadu road side vegetables ammukune vadu, stall laaga pettukunta ante 2L  ichharu, vaadu absconding, evado contractor gaadiki 10L ichharu , vaadu kuda jump. ila chinnavi, peddhavi anni kalipi 2C daaka ayindi. ee money mottham vere vaalla daggara theeskoni ee panikimalina batch ki ichharu. nenu India vellinapudu maa nanna ki money ichhinollu aa money ki guarantee ga naatho promissory notes raayinchukunnaru. appati daaka naaku okka maata kuda cheppakunda idantha chesesaru. inka worst enti ante, aayana siblings ki kuda monthly maintenance eeyane isthunnaru ani tarvatha telisindi. adi kuda maa oorlo oka medical shop athanu chepthe telisindi. every month minimum 10-15k daaka medicines and grocery evaro vachhi theeskelthunnaru, mee nanna pay chestharu annadu. naku fuse lu egirinai. nenu entha pampichina chaalatledu enta anukune vaadini. finally nannu poorthiga munchesaru. inka chala daridram undi. can't reveal much.

[reddyrao]

21 hours ago, HugoStrange said:

Same situation unde. 3 years back varaku. Luckily 3 years back thegotta. Eppudu cheppakapothe inka nenu matladanu and also wont let them see my son ever (My wife was carrying at that time). This is the final lekapothe illu ammi kattukondi ani. Total 90L chepparu. Maa Anna and nenu kalisi oka 50L sardamu, oka 35L bank loan petti motham close chesam. Last month ee aa Bank loan kuda close chesa. Eppudu kuda Car refinance chesina oka 15K undi kattadani but closed everything else. Inka chesthe Naku sambandam ledu, illu ammukuni chesukondi ani cheppa.

 

Even as of today I did not see a 5 figures amount in my account, single income tho kastame inka

 

1 decade ga earn chesthu oka 5 figure balance kuda leni account naadi. nannu addam pettukuni oorlo bhajana batch ni veskoni gappalu kottukunta thirugutunnaru. ippudu leru inka.. but aa appulu anni theerchukuntu aayanani guthu cheskoni roju ledu le naaku.

[praying]

3 minutes ago, reddyrao said:

chuttu bhajana batch unte vollu marchipotharu. senses anni kolpotharu. evado auto vadu vaadi daughter marriage ki 5 lakhs kaavaali ante inkevari daggaro eeyana appu chesi aa auto vaadiki ichhadu anta. aa auto vadi daughter ki marriage ayindi, pillalu puttaaru but not even a penny returned so far. inkokadu road side vegetables ammukune vadu, stall laaga pettukunta ante 2L  ichharu, vaadu absconding, evado contractor gaadiki 10L ichharu , vaadu kuda jump. ila chinnavi, peddhavi anni kalipi 2C daaka ayindi. ee money mottham vere vaalla daggara theeskoni ee panikimalina batch ki ichharu. nenu India vellinapudu maa nanna ki money ichhinollu aa money ki guarantee ga naatho promissory notes raayinchukunnaru. appati daaka naaku okka maata kuda cheppakunda idantha chesesaru. inka worst enti ante, aayana siblings ki kuda monthly maintenance eeyane isthunnaru ani tarvatha telisindi. adi kuda maa oorlo oka medical shop athanu chepthe telisindi. every month minimum 10-15k daaka medicines and grocery evaro vachhi theeskelthunnaru, mee nanna pay chestharu annadu. naku fuse lu egirinai. nenu entha pampichina chaalatledu enta anukune vaadini. finally nannu poorthiga munchesaru. inka chala daridram undi. can't reveal much.

Wow  to hear that bro, nuvvu enduku sign chesav notes asalu? Are you forced to do that? How is your dad expecting you to clear all that ? Sorry to say but very irresponsible on his part to lend money borrowing from others

[reddyrao]

21 hours ago, hotlantian said:

This looks like NRI intinti ramyanam story. They think they can do anything now and can’t answer any one. Even my dad drowned me in debts I had to take personal loans credit card balance transfers and sent money. He just gambles and lose money. So far he lost more than 70 lakhs. Can’t say anything to him at this age because he is my single parent and doesn’t know how he reacts if I’m act harsh. He gets 75k rents per month but I didnt get a single penny so far from those rents. He did not even gift a small ring to my kids for any occasion. 

nenu okkadine anukunna. ee worst situation lo inka chala mandi unnarannamata.