How do you deal with loss at the age of 39?

[kevinUsa]

 

 

Like everyone, I came to the US, 2 years ago, with hopes of advancing my career and giving a good life to my kids. Before coming here, I had a successful career in tech security and worked with big firms and organizations, I had a stable job, good salary and good savings. My colleagues and seniors often said that i have a promising career ahead because they saw me always learning new things and working hard. I resigned from that job and came to the US for my masters. I thought everything will be sorted once I complete my masters, get a shining new degree, il get a good job, work very very hard and my life will be good. I thought what could possibly go wrong here? In worst case how long will it take to get a job (considering i was never laid off or was jobless in over 12 years of my career)?1 month? 2 months? Maximum 3 months? Right?

 

Wrong!

 

12 months passed, i couldn't find a job! Something I never imagined or was prepared for. Gradually as time passed, all my lives savings were gone, i lost my mental sanity, confidence and reputation. My degrees my experiences, my skills nothing helped me. I guess many factors contributed to this situation - the current market scenario, trusting desi consultancies, visa status and probably a bad job hunting strategy. Till recently, I tried to stay positive, kept learning, kept trying hard, stayed in touch with my subject, tried different things. But eventually reached breaking point. 

 

Now after trying everything, i am planning to leave US for good, basically losing everything i brought here and probably have to start from scratch in some other place. My kids loved going to school here now I have to pull them out with a heavy heart.

 

My question is - many of you might have faced this kind of setback in life, were you able to recover fully? Were you able to gain back your financial stability and confidence? How did you deal with this big failure right in the middle of your career and life? What could be my coping mechanism? Your experiences and suggestions might help me a lot! Thanks!

[Gorantlamdhav]

Ooko kaka job ostadi waiting is important 

[tyrion123]

47 minutes ago, kevinUsa said:

 

 

Like everyone, I came to the US, 2 years ago, with hopes of advancing my career and giving a good life to my kids. Before coming here, I had a successful career in tech security and worked with big firms and organizations, I had a stable job, good salary and good savings. My colleagues and seniors often said that i have a promising career ahead because they saw me always learning new things and working hard. I resigned from that job and came to the US for my masters. I thought everything will be sorted once I complete my masters, get a shining new degree, il get a good job, work very very hard and my life will be good. I thought what could possibly go wrong here? In worst case how long will it take to get a job (considering i was never laid off or was jobless in over 12 years of my career)?1 month? 2 months? Maximum 3 months? Right?

 

Wrong!

 

12 months passed, i couldn't find a job! Something I never imagined or was prepared for. Gradually as time passed, all my lives savings were gone, i lost my mental sanity, confidence and reputation. My degrees my experiences, my skills nothing helped me. I guess many factors contributed to this situation - the current market scenario, trusting desi consultancies, visa status and probably a bad job hunting strategy. Till recently, I tried to stay positive, kept learning, kept trying hard, stayed in touch with my subject, tried different things. But eventually reached breaking point. 

 

Now after trying everything, i am planning to leave US for good, basically losing everything i brought here and probably have to start from scratch in some other place. My kids loved going to school here now I have to pull them out with a heavy heart.

 

My question is - many of you might have faced this kind of setback in life, were you able to recover fully? Were you able to gain back your financial stability and confidence? How did you deal with this big failure right in the middle of your career and life? What could be my coping mechanism? Your experiences and suggestions might help me a lot! Thanks!

whomever the OP is ...

this is a good learning curve ...

great things ahead for him !!!

[Guest]

He should have come to US before getting married after getting some years of experience...this is what you get if you still think that times haven't changed. Everybody wants to replicate each other....get a job, get married, have kids & everything will be alright like it was with our parents....Wrong! Days of American dream r over...if Trump indeed wins next elections, then it's done for new comers.

[Barney_Stinson]

if you don’t have financial hurdles the only problem i see is you kids getting adjusted, rest things should be okay gradually, accept change and move on in life , don’t let a country or situation erode your ability to swim thru tough times also sometimes expectations make us feel how fragile of a career life we are in

[AndhraPickles]

Ur patience pays off in future...testing time in your career....be positive...

[The_Captain]

1 yr job raledu ante, Anna 200+ salary bracket lo matrame work chestha ani mondi undochu, time balenappudu 90 or 100+ position with WITCHes join ayipoyi, next better salary , position kosam try cheyali, 1 yr bekar ga unte salary loss kakunda extra living, insurance and other expenses unna savings bokka, 100k salary would've atleast avoided the bokka and with some peace of mind

E rojullo india lo inflation and expenses, school fee, apartments etc, 40 lakh INR package kante US lo 120k ku apartment living tho same savings but better lifestyle untadhi 

Compromising on salary and position is the key when grahacharam hits gaand 

[manadonga]

India lo salaries baaga perigayi

market baaga lo unnapudud kuda chala mandi india lone naa savings baaga vunnayi annaru 

one of my neighbors went back to india he used to earn 1.5 lakh per month in hyd own home vundi max 20000 ayyeyi anta and he used to teach and support us people earn total 4 lakh per month ikkadiki vachhaka anta ravatam ledu ani velli poyasu 

[The_Captain]

26 minutes ago, manadonga said:

India lo salaries baaga perigayi

market baaga lo unnapudud kuda chala mandi india lone naa savings baaga vunnayi annaru 

one of my neighbors went back to india he used to earn 1.5 lakh per month in hyd own home vundi max 20000 ayyeyi anta and he used to teach and support us people earn total 4 lakh per month ikkadiki vachhaka anta ravatam ledu ani velli poyasu 

Bro, kids school fee is minimum 10k very basic cbse school

Apartment maintain 3 to 5k

Power bill, internet, tv subscription, maids salary, petrol, gas, groceries and otherp Purchases. . . 

My brother said he has to fill car tank 2 to 3 times monthly, 13k for petrol itself. 

They get half litre milk from direct milkman, 2500 monthly, school fee and kids expenses 12k + 3k average. 

If you don't, have mortgage payment, 50 to 60k is the normal expenses for an average IT guy with single kid. 

Btw ippudu India lo kuda market bad, salaries kuda last year or this yr first quarter varaku offer chesinattu ippudu cheyadam ledh anta 

[Sucker]

US is about luck and patience. But sad reality patience anukunta kurchunte your savings will be Assam within 6 months if you are single paycheck with Buddas or Buddis. 

US la luck lekunda IT lo talent meedha laagistha ante never works majority ki. Right now okko job ki min 1K applicants and you are on OPT. It won't work out reference vunte thappa. 

Just find a loop hole or good connections. Otherwise survive kashtam only talent ante. IT la kuppal vunnaru same talent tho with less billing. That is reality. Good luck Anna. 

[nag]

57 minutes ago, The_Captain said:

1 yr job raledu ante, Anna 200+ salary bracket lo matrame work chestha ani mondi undochu, time balenappudu 90 or 100+ position with WITCHes join ayipoyi, next better salary , position kosam try cheyali, 1 yr bekar ga unte salary loss kakunda extra living, insurance and other expenses unna savings bokka, 100k salary would've atleast avoided the bokka and with some peace of mind

E rojullo india lo inflation and expenses, school fee, apartments etc, 40 lakh INR package kante US lo 120k ku apartment living tho same savings but better lifestyle untadhi 

Compromising on salary and position is the key when grahacharam hits gaand 

a bad job hunting strategy Annadu Gaa.. probably his employer doesn't have a good job marketing team

The job market is not good for the last 3 to 4 quarters.   

As far as I know, recruiters are submitting resumes of candidates who are having min  8 years of US experience ( they validate through LinkedIn and other sources) filtering out the remaining candidates.. tough situation for new immigrants

[pakeer_saab]

4 hours ago, kevinUsa said:

 

 

Like everyone, I came to the US, 2 years ago, with hopes of advancing my career and giving a good life to my kids. Before coming here, I had a successful career in tech security and worked with big firms and organizations, I had a stable job, good salary and good savings. My colleagues and seniors often said that i have a promising career ahead because they saw me always learning new things and working hard. I resigned from that job and came to the US for my masters. I thought everything will be sorted once I complete my masters, get a shining new degree, il get a good job, work very very hard and my life will be good. I thought what could possibly go wrong here? In worst case how long will it take to get a job (considering i was never laid off or was jobless in over 12 years of my career)?1 month? 2 months? Maximum 3 months? Right?

 

Wrong!

 

12 months passed, i couldn't find a job! Something I never imagined or was prepared for. Gradually as time passed, all my lives savings were gone, i lost my mental sanity, confidence and reputation. My degrees my experiences, my skills nothing helped me. I guess many factors contributed to this situation - the current market scenario, trusting desi consultancies, visa status and probably a bad job hunting strategy. Till recently, I tried to stay positive, kept learning, kept trying hard, stayed in touch with my subject, tried different things. But eventually reached breaking point. 

 

Now after trying everything, i am planning to leave US for good, basically losing everything i brought here and probably have to start from scratch in some other place. My kids loved going to school here now I have to pull them out with a heavy heart.

 

My question is - many of you might have faced this kind of setback in life, were you able to recover fully? Were you able to gain back your financial stability and confidence? How did you deal with this big failure right in the middle of your career and life? What could be my coping mechanism? Your experiences and suggestions might help me a lot! Thanks!

take everything as experience, you have experienced a phenomenon, "there are things beyond my control", this is a great lesson for you to plan that life does not go as per your plan, always have plan B while planning for Plan A. not having a job for 12 months does not make one failed in life.

This is not the same going back as it used to be 10-15 yrs ago, you can always come back later with a job in hand. all you need to connect back with your managers in India and tell them you want to come back now that you finished your masters. present it as a career enhancement goal to finish masters and coming back to india kind of story. people love those who stick to plan and come back to own country, use this story to present your case rather than presenting a failure story. people do not like losers and you dont want to present yourselves as loser.

do not treat short term incidents/plan failures as life failures ever, do not think anything that can destroy morale or hope.

failures make great men and you want to be one.

 

[Vaaaampire]

Stable income lekunda family ni usa ki thisukuvachada?

his planning is completely wrong. Mnc lo job kotti job through ravalsindj usa ki

[jpismahatma]

4 hours ago, kevinUsa said:

 

 

Like everyone, I came to the US, 2 years ago, with hopes of advancing my career and giving a good life to my kids. Before coming here, I had a successful career in tech security and worked with big firms and organizations, I had a stable job, good salary and good savings. My colleagues and seniors often said that i have a promising career ahead because they saw me always learning new things and working hard. I resigned from that job and came to the US for my masters. I thought everything will be sorted once I complete my masters, get a shining new degree, il get a good job, work very very hard and my life will be good. I thought what could possibly go wrong here? In worst case how long will it take to get a job (considering i was never laid off or was jobless in over 12 years of my career)?1 month? 2 months? Maximum 3 months? Right?

 

Wrong!

 

12 months passed, i couldn't find a job! Something I never imagined or was prepared for. Gradually as time passed, all my lives savings were gone, i lost my mental sanity, confidence and reputation. My degrees my experiences, my skills nothing helped me. I guess many factors contributed to this situation - the current market scenario, trusting desi consultancies, visa status and probably a bad job hunting strategy. Till recently, I tried to stay positive, kept learning, kept trying hard, stayed in touch with my subject, tried different things. But eventually reached breaking point. 

 

Now after trying everything, i am planning to leave US for good, basically losing everything i brought here and probably have to start from scratch in some other place. My kids loved going to school here now I have to pull them out with a heavy heart.

 

My question is - many of you might have faced this kind of setback in life, were you able to recover fully? Were you able to gain back your financial stability and confidence? How did you deal with this big failure right in the middle of your career and life? What could be my coping mechanism? Your experiences and suggestions might help me a lot! Thanks!

39 is too late. If you come late , make sure you got strong skill set and call family once you settle.

[nag]

28 minutes ago, Vaaaampire said:

Stable income lekunda family ni usa ki thisukuvachada?

his planning is completely wrong. Mnc lo job kotti job through ravalsindj usa ki

Okkosari .. mistakes avuthayi.. probably somone gave him wrong guidance and may be he seen someone else settled easily .. okasari debbathintey gaani.. chaala alert and careful ga vuntamu kada..