100k for saree function . Dallas new benchmark standard

[coffee]

$100K on a Half Saree Ceremony and I Came Home Questioning My Entire Budget......

Quick Poll:
Would you rather be:  
1️⃣ The poorest in a rich neighborhood  
2️⃣ The richest in a modest one?  
(Vote with 1 or 2 below!)

We just got back from a beautiful family event in Texas. It was for my cousin’s daughter's half saree ceremony and they celebrated it with so much love and care. Elegant venue, incredible food, professional photographers the whole thing felt like a wedding.

They spent over $100,000 on it.

And they did it happily. They could afford it. no stress, no show-off vibes. It clearly meant a lot to them. I was genuinely happy for them.

But on the flight back, I kept thinking:  
Are we doing this whole money thing wrong?

**What “Rich” Feels Like in Real Life**

We live in a nice neighborhood. Our home is worth over a million.

**But here's how that feels:**

* My Honda Odyssey sits between G-Wagons and Range Rovers at school pickup
* My kid asked once why we haven't been to Switzerland for spring break... because everyone else has
* A parent once looked at my car: "That's practical" (You know the tone.)
* At neighborhood gatherings, I am surrounded by Partners, Senior Architects, Directors at Fortune 500s
* I just became a Manager this year... a promotion I was proud of... until I realized it barely registers in this crowd.

Last week, my 11 year old asked if we are "**poor**" because we don't have a pool. I didn't know what to say. We are not struggling. Not even close.   But sometimes… it doesn’t feel like we are doing enough.

# Somewhere in the Middle

We came to the U.S. in 2005-06.  
Shared apartments. Long work hours. No vacations for years.  
We saved. We invested. We built a life.  
We bought a home. Started a family. Got our green cards.

On paper, we are doing well.  
So why does it still feel like we’re behind?

# The Cultural Identity Crisis

My parents didn’t have much growing up. They worked hard, lived simply, and stretched every rupee.  
They would probably think spending money on luxuries is wasteful.

But they would also be proud that their grandchild goes to a top rated school.

**The Cultural Tug-of-War**

**In India:** Look how successful they are! Living in America!

**In America:** Oh, you drive that?

It is like I am being measured on two different scoreboards at the same time.

One rewards simplicity.  
The other rewards status.

It is exhausting.

# The Wealth Ladder Wake-Up Call

According to Nick Maggiulli’s wealth ladder, we’re at Level 4: Upper Middle Class ($1M–$10M net worth).  
That’s supposed to feel safe. Comfortable.

But when you're Level 4 in a sea of Level 5s, it doesn’t feel that way.

It’s like being the tallest 6th grader in a room full of high schoolers.  
You’ve grown. But you still feel small.

# What We Gained, What We Lost

**When we lived in a modest apartment:**

* We felt more at peace ✓
* We saved ✓
* We blended in ✓
* But we were financially isolated, very few talked about Roth IRAs, 529s or any type of investments ✗

**Now we're surrounded by high achievers:**

* Everyone's "doing well" ✓
* Smart money conversations ✓
* Career connections and mentorship opportunities ✓
* My kids are around high achieving peers who raise their aspirations ✓
* But even smart decisions feel like falling behind ✗
* What money mindset are we passing to our kids? ✗

Some days I feel confident. Other days I feel like a fraud in both worlds.

***Comparison isn’t just the thief of joy. Sometimes it’s the thief of financial peace and sleep.***

# Let’s Talk About It

**Especially calling fellow NRIs and parents here:**

* Share a moment when your environment made you question your financial choices
* What's the most expensive thing you have seen people spend that made you pause?
* Parents: What's the most "rich kid" thing your child has asked for?
* Comment 'SWITZERLAND' if you've had THAT spring break conversation
* How do you navigate looking successful in different communities?

No advice needed. Just real stories.  
If you have ever lived in this weird financial in-between...  
between pride and pressure, between comfort and comparison.. please drop a comment.

Because somewhere between the G-Wagon and the Honda Odyssey, there is a lot of us just trying to figure it all out.

[Thokkalee]

ma dabbunnolla kastaalu miku ardham kavu antunna OP.. 

[jefferson1]

These things are  normal with show off village batch

[Konebhar6]

1 or 2 does not matter as long as you stay away from toxic people.
 

The fact that you are thinking about 1 or 2 means you are feeling inferior and you are debating whether you want to feel inferior or superior.

Having good friends and family who care for you is the only thing that matters.

[Anta Assamey]

Calling all Adapilla tandrulu...All the Best....

[desiboys]

they can go back to India for showoffs. 

[ARYA]

1 minute ago, Anta Assamey said:

Calling all Adapilla tandrulu...All the Best....

Event chesindi nuvvena

[akkum_bakkum]

Your worth is not determined by the one's around you, although your thoughts do have an influence. I dont know why your kids question made you reassess your whole financial situation. It should be the opposite. Thats the difference between our generation and our parents or grandparents. For them, It doesn't matter what we asked for, they always did what they felt like. Pleased parenting is on the rise, watch out for that more.

[ChanceCoffeeLover]

I remember days when we were not included in desi parties because my wife did not have enough gold jewelry or at least not to their standards. 

Other time, the host of a party (who is a relative) called and literally said what all gold jewelry to wear so that my wife does not look out of place at their party

[Anta Assamey]

7 minutes ago, ARYA said:

Event chesindi nuvvena

Unfortunately naaku kuturu ledu ....

[islander]

All this is subjective anna..India lo 2 bhk unnodiki 3 bhk luxury..3 bhk vadiki villa luxury..

Ma NZ lo aithe most decent house 1200-1400 sft…adi unte hapy..maku 2000 sft..vallu mammalni rich antaru..naku US lo unna ma friends’ 3000 sft house with basement luxury..

itla never ending cycle idhi..

just be happy as long as you have good income jobs with decent assets..you have GC..take some vacations now..roam around world..at least near by countries

[ARYA]

5 minutes ago, Anta Assamey said:

Unfortunately naaku kuturu ledu ....

Lekapote em, panchalu chestav ga…

[ARYA]

4 minutes ago, islander said:

All this is subjective anna..India lo 2 bhk unnodiki 3 bhk luxury..3 bhk vadiki villa luxury..

Ma NZ lo aithe most decent house 1200-1400 sft…adi unte hapy..maku 2000 sft..vallu mammalni rich antaru..naku US lo unna ma friends’ 3000 sft house with basement luxury..

itla never ending cycle idhi..

just be happy as long as you have good income jobs with decent assets..you have GC..take some vacations now..roam around world..at least near by countries

NZ cost of living etla unthndi vuncle? 

[Anta Assamey]

Just now, ARYA said:

Lekapote em, panchalu chestav ga…

Maga fellows ki avi anni chesi waste...No Kick..

[ARYA]

Just now, Anta Assamey said:

Maga fellows ki avi anni chesi waste...No Kick..

Ina chestaru kada me rich people, money etla flush out cheyalo teliyaka