fasak_vachadu Posted August 14 Report Posted August 14 5 hours ago, coffee said: $100K on a Half Saree Ceremony and I Came Home Questioning My Entire Budget...... Quick Poll: Would you rather be: 1️⃣ The poorest in a rich neighborhood 2️⃣ The richest in a modest one? (Vote with 1 or 2 below!) We just got back from a beautiful family event in Texas. It was for my cousin’s daughter's half saree ceremony and they celebrated it with so much love and care. Elegant venue, incredible food, professional photographers the whole thing felt like a wedding. They spent over $100,000 on it. And they did it happily. They could afford it. no stress, no show-off vibes. It clearly meant a lot to them. I was genuinely happy for them. But on the flight back, I kept thinking: Are we doing this whole money thing wrong? **What “Rich” Feels Like in Real Life** We live in a nice neighborhood. Our home is worth over a million. **But here's how that feels:** * My Honda Odyssey sits between G-Wagons and Range Rovers at school pickup * My kid asked once why we haven't been to Switzerland for spring break... because everyone else has * A parent once looked at my car: "That's practical" (You know the tone.) * At neighborhood gatherings, I am surrounded by Partners, Senior Architects, Directors at Fortune 500s * I just became a Manager this year... a promotion I was proud of... until I realized it barely registers in this crowd. Last week, my 11 year old asked if we are "**poor**" because we don't have a pool. I didn't know what to say. We are not struggling. Not even close. But sometimes… it doesn’t feel like we are doing enough. # Somewhere in the Middle We came to the U.S. in 2005-06. Shared apartments. Long work hours. No vacations for years. We saved. We invested. We built a life. We bought a home. Started a family. Got our green cards. On paper, we are doing well. So why does it still feel like we’re behind? # The Cultural Identity Crisis My parents didn’t have much growing up. They worked hard, lived simply, and stretched every rupee. They would probably think spending money on luxuries is wasteful. But they would also be proud that their grandchild goes to a top rated school. **The Cultural Tug-of-War** **In India:** Look how successful they are! Living in America! **In America:** Oh, you drive that? It is like I am being measured on two different scoreboards at the same time. One rewards simplicity. The other rewards status. It is exhausting. # The Wealth Ladder Wake-Up Call According to Nick Maggiulli’s wealth ladder, we’re at Level 4: Upper Middle Class ($1M–$10M net worth). That’s supposed to feel safe. Comfortable. But when you're Level 4 in a sea of Level 5s, it doesn’t feel that way. It’s like being the tallest 6th grader in a room full of high schoolers. You’ve grown. But you still feel small. # What We Gained, What We Lost **When we lived in a modest apartment:** * We felt more at peace ✓ * We saved ✓ * We blended in ✓ * But we were financially isolated, very few talked about Roth IRAs, 529s or any type of investments ✗ **Now we're surrounded by high achievers:** * Everyone's "doing well" ✓ * Smart money conversations ✓ * Career connections and mentorship opportunities ✓ * My kids are around high achieving peers who raise their aspirations ✓ * But even smart decisions feel like falling behind ✗ * What money mindset are we passing to our kids? ✗ Some days I feel confident. Other days I feel like a fraud in both worlds. ***Comparison isn’t just the thief of joy. Sometimes it’s the thief of financial peace and sleep.*** # Let’s Talk About It **Especially calling fellow NRIs and parents here:** * Share a moment when your environment made you question your financial choices * What's the most expensive thing you have seen people spend that made you pause? * Parents: What's the most "rich kid" thing your child has asked for? * Comment 'SWITZERLAND' if you've had THAT spring break conversation * How do you navigate looking successful in different communities? No advice needed. Just real stories. If you have ever lived in this weird financial in-between... between pride and pressure, between comfort and comparison.. please drop a comment. Because somewhere between the G-Wagon and the Honda Odyssey, there is a lot of us just trying to figure it all out. light tesukoni move avtamme leda nuvu kastapadu and money earn cheyu change your TCs job and work for bigger client upgrade your skills and invest smartely in stocks for next 5 years. I saw many rich /poor people in USA and cunning people you won't belive but pakka unnavade naa job tannuku poyadu ... and rich unnavadiki kids are Autism mari konthamandiki no kids ... so be happy at the end of the day Quote
DarkKnight19 Posted August 14 Report Posted August 14 7 hours ago, coffee said: $100K on a Half Saree Ceremony and I Came Home Questioning My Entire Budget...... Quick Poll: Would you rather be: 1️⃣ The poorest in a rich neighborhood 2️⃣ The richest in a modest one? (Vote with 1 or 2 below!) We just got back from a beautiful family event in Texas. It was for my cousin’s daughter's half saree ceremony and they celebrated it with so much love and care. Elegant venue, incredible food, professional photographers the whole thing felt like a wedding. They spent over $100,000 on it. And they did it happily. They could afford it. no stress, no show-off vibes. It clearly meant a lot to them. I was genuinely happy for them. But on the flight back, I kept thinking: Are we doing this whole money thing wrong? **What “Rich” Feels Like in Real Life** We live in a nice neighborhood. Our home is worth over a million. **But here's how that feels:** * My Honda Odyssey sits between G-Wagons and Range Rovers at school pickup * My kid asked once why we haven't been to Switzerland for spring break... because everyone else has * A parent once looked at my car: "That's practical" (You know the tone.) * At neighborhood gatherings, I am surrounded by Partners, Senior Architects, Directors at Fortune 500s * I just became a Manager this year... a promotion I was proud of... until I realized it barely registers in this crowd. Last week, my 11 year old asked if we are "**poor**" because we don't have a pool. I didn't know what to say. We are not struggling. Not even close. But sometimes… it doesn’t feel like we are doing enough. # Somewhere in the Middle We came to the U.S. in 2005-06. Shared apartments. Long work hours. No vacations for years. We saved. We invested. We built a life. We bought a home. Started a family. Got our green cards. On paper, we are doing well. So why does it still feel like we’re behind? # The Cultural Identity Crisis My parents didn’t have much growing up. They worked hard, lived simply, and stretched every rupee. They would probably think spending money on luxuries is wasteful. But they would also be proud that their grandchild goes to a top rated school. **The Cultural Tug-of-War** **In India:** Look how successful they are! Living in America! **In America:** Oh, you drive that? It is like I am being measured on two different scoreboards at the same time. One rewards simplicity. The other rewards status. It is exhausting. # The Wealth Ladder Wake-Up Call According to Nick Maggiulli’s wealth ladder, we’re at Level 4: Upper Middle Class ($1M–$10M net worth). That’s supposed to feel safe. Comfortable. But when you're Level 4 in a sea of Level 5s, it doesn’t feel that way. It’s like being the tallest 6th grader in a room full of high schoolers. You’ve grown. But you still feel small. # What We Gained, What We Lost **When we lived in a modest apartment:** * We felt more at peace ✓ * We saved ✓ * We blended in ✓ * But we were financially isolated, very few talked about Roth IRAs, 529s or any type of investments ✗ **Now we're surrounded by high achievers:** * Everyone's "doing well" ✓ * Smart money conversations ✓ * Career connections and mentorship opportunities ✓ * My kids are around high achieving peers who raise their aspirations ✓ * But even smart decisions feel like falling behind ✗ * What money mindset are we passing to our kids? ✗ Some days I feel confident. Other days I feel like a fraud in both worlds. ***Comparison isn’t just the thief of joy. Sometimes it’s the thief of financial peace and sleep.*** # Let’s Talk About It **Especially calling fellow NRIs and parents here:** * Share a moment when your environment made you question your financial choices * What's the most expensive thing you have seen people spend that made you pause? * Parents: What's the most "rich kid" thing your child has asked for? * Comment 'SWITZERLAND' if you've had THAT spring break conversation * How do you navigate looking successful in different communities? No advice needed. Just real stories. If you have ever lived in this weird financial in-between... between pride and pressure, between comfort and comparison.. please drop a comment. Because somewhere between the G-Wagon and the Honda Odyssey, there is a lot of us just trying to figure it all out. Vaarini level 4 ki nuvvey Ila ayipotey... Level 2 and 3 gallu EMI ayipovali The biggest fraud is one whose actions are determined by peer pressure. Manasaku nachinatlu ga bathikitey anta kanna happiness ledhu. I saw people buying Teslas purely out of peer pressure. If a beaten up Corolla gives you pleasure continue using it. Low maintenance low cost. Every decision you take has to be a business decision. No emotions should be involved. 1 Quote
DarkKnight19 Posted August 14 Report Posted August 14 6 hours ago, ChanceCoffeeLover said: I remember days when we were not included in desi parties because my wife did not have enough gold jewelry or at least not to their standards. Other time, the host of a party (who is a relative) called and literally said what all gold jewelry to wear so that my wife does not look out of place at their party Sanka naakamanu....mee deggara gold coins vunnayi Naa deggara bitcoins vunnayi ani cheppadamey 1 Quote
Thokkalee Posted August 15 Report Posted August 15 7 hours ago, pinnigaaru said: I am with you brother, I live in a same community. I am driving my 8 year old sedan with 100 K miles surrounded by Teslas/Rivians/Benz/Land Rovers Brother kadu, sister-in-law 🙂 Quote
islander Posted August 15 Report Posted August 15 13 hours ago, ARYA said: heard its very beautiful, lucky you...milford sound ki poyinava? Ya..Milford Sound is next level.. ya NZ is peaceful, beautiful and laid back country with good Work Life Balance.. Quote
islander Posted August 15 Report Posted August 15 8 hours ago, DarkKnight19 said: Vaarini level 4 ki nuvvey Ila ayipotey... Level 2 and 3 gallu EMI ayipovali The biggest fraud is one whose actions are determined by peer pressure. Manasaku nachinatlu ga bathikitey anta kanna happiness ledhu. I saw people buying Teslas purely out of peer pressure. If a beaten up Corolla gives you pleasure continue using it. Low maintenance low cost. Every decision you take has to be a business decision. No emotions should be involved. Yeah Peer Pressure lo padoddu…I had Brand new Audi A4 back in 2015…used it for few years.. ipudu 2014 used Camry vaaduthuna..masth mandi anaru baane vastai ga paisal, vere brand new konukkovachu ga ani..Nah, car meeda investment waste ani chepina anthe.. Quote
ARYA Posted August 15 Report Posted August 15 9 hours ago, islander said: Ya..Milford Sound is next level.. ya NZ is peaceful, beautiful and laid back country with good Work Life Balance.. whats the best time to visit? Quote
Point Posted August 15 Report Posted August 15 When will people realize the day we stop comparing to others is the day we get to live life like life. 100k peditheh enti vacations pothe enti architects directors aithe enti do you look like them? You have same intelligence like them? Then shut your mouth. There are mant people who wish to have a life like you. Unnadhantlo happy ga peaceful ga vundatam nerchukondi ra erri pappa laraaa some moondalu will show off thats common don't stress over the show off moondaa batch Quote
praying Posted August 15 Report Posted August 15 3 minutes ago, Point said: When will people realize the day we stop comparing to others is the day we get to live life like life. 100k peditheh enti vacations pothe enti architects directors aithe enti do you look like them? You have same intelligence like them? Then shut your mouth. There are mant people who wish to have a life like you. Unnadhantlo happy ga peaceful ga vundatam nerchukondi ra erri pappa laraaa some moondalu will show off thats common don't stress over the show off moondaa batch well said...a director ayyaka paina evado VP SVP C level vallu untaru... this is a never ending story.. akkadiki vellaka evadu manaki vachi danda esi dandam pettadu kada... Quote
Hitman Posted August 15 Report Posted August 15 it will be same on any place on EARTH. May be it is different on MARS ? Quote
ManchiDonga Posted August 15 Report Posted August 15 On 8/14/2025 at 11:15 AM, coffee said: $100K on a Half Saree Ceremony and I Came Home Questioning My Entire Budget...... Quick Poll: Would you rather be: 1️⃣ The poorest in a rich neighborhood 2️⃣ The richest in a modest one? (Vote with 1 or 2 below!) We just got back from a beautiful family event in Texas. It was for my cousin’s daughter's half saree ceremony and they celebrated it with so much love and care. Elegant venue, incredible food, professional photographers the whole thing felt like a wedding. They spent over $100,000 on it. And they did it happily. They could afford it. no stress, no show-off vibes. It clearly meant a lot to them. I was genuinely happy for them. But on the flight back, I kept thinking: Are we doing this whole money thing wrong? **What “Rich” Feels Like in Real Life** We live in a nice neighborhood. Our home is worth over a million. **But here's how that feels:** * My Honda Odyssey sits between G-Wagons and Range Rovers at school pickup * My kid asked once why we haven't been to Switzerland for spring break... because everyone else has * A parent once looked at my car: "That's practical" (You know the tone.) * At neighborhood gatherings, I am surrounded by Partners, Senior Architects, Directors at Fortune 500s * I just became a Manager this year... a promotion I was proud of... until I realized it barely registers in this crowd. Last week, my 11 year old asked if we are "**poor**" because we don't have a pool. I didn't know what to say. We are not struggling. Not even close. But sometimes… it doesn’t feel like we are doing enough. # Somewhere in the Middle We came to the U.S. in 2005-06. Shared apartments. Long work hours. No vacations for years. We saved. We invested. We built a life. We bought a home. Started a family. Got our green cards. On paper, we are doing well. So why does it still feel like we’re behind? # The Cultural Identity Crisis My parents didn’t have much growing up. They worked hard, lived simply, and stretched every rupee. They would probably think spending money on luxuries is wasteful. But they would also be proud that their grandchild goes to a top rated school. **The Cultural Tug-of-War** **In India:** Look how successful they are! Living in America! **In America:** Oh, you drive that? It is like I am being measured on two different scoreboards at the same time. One rewards simplicity. The other rewards status. It is exhausting. # The Wealth Ladder Wake-Up Call According to Nick Maggiulli’s wealth ladder, we’re at Level 4: Upper Middle Class ($1M–$10M net worth). That’s supposed to feel safe. Comfortable. But when you're Level 4 in a sea of Level 5s, it doesn’t feel that way. It’s like being the tallest 6th grader in a room full of high schoolers. You’ve grown. But you still feel small. # What We Gained, What We Lost **When we lived in a modest apartment:** * We felt more at peace ✓ * We saved ✓ * We blended in ✓ * But we were financially isolated, very few talked about Roth IRAs, 529s or any type of investments ✗ **Now we're surrounded by high achievers:** * Everyone's "doing well" ✓ * Smart money conversations ✓ * Career connections and mentorship opportunities ✓ * My kids are around high achieving peers who raise their aspirations ✓ * But even smart decisions feel like falling behind ✗ * What money mindset are we passing to our kids? ✗ Some days I feel confident. Other days I feel like a fraud in both worlds. ***Comparison isn’t just the thief of joy. Sometimes it’s the thief of financial peace and sleep.*** # Let’s Talk About It **Especially calling fellow NRIs and parents here:** * Share a moment when your environment made you question your financial choices * What's the most expensive thing you have seen people spend that made you pause? * Parents: What's the most "rich kid" thing your child has asked for? * Comment 'SWITZERLAND' if you've had THAT spring break conversation * How do you navigate looking successful in different communities? No advice needed. Just real stories. If you have ever lived in this weird financial in-between... between pride and pressure, between comfort and comparison.. please drop a comment. Because somewhere between the G-Wagon and the Honda Odyssey, there is a lot of us just trying to figure it all out. I might have seen this party... did it happen in Bliss@aubrey Quote
LungiLingaraju Posted August 15 Report Posted August 15 Uncle, my kid asked for pool.. play structure .. business class tickets .. we both told that it is not hard for us to pay but they need to know “needs” and “wants”. We told them everyone run has their own running race and shouldn’t worry about others. Compared with little poorer folks and told them how about those people who doesn’t have basic things. they understood now. Our kids are 11 y and 8y old. We also said, we will Support you in all the way so you guys earn and show us than asking us to spend. We constantly remind how lucky and rich we are compared to a lot of others. Now if they see RollsRoice they say those guys are very rich but I don’t see a dissent or disappointment in their tone. Quote
ARYA Posted August 15 Report Posted August 15 2 minutes ago, LungiLingaraju said: Uncle, my kid asked for pool.. play structure .. business class tickets .. we both told that it is not hard for us to pay but they need to know “needs” and “wants”. We told them everyone run has their own running race and shouldn’t worry about others. Compared with little poorer folks and told them how about those people who doesn’t have basic things. they understood now. Our kids are 11 y and 8y old. We also said, we will Support you in all the way so you guys earn and show us than asking us to spend. We constantly remind how lucky and rich we are compared to a lot of others. Now if they see RollsRoice they say those guys are very rich but I don’t see a dissent or disappointment in their tone. 11 yr and 8 yr old asked for Business class tickets aa, next level undi ga pillala expectations 1 Quote
LungiLingaraju Posted August 16 Report Posted August 16 8 hours ago, ARYA said: 11 yr and 8 yr old asked for Business class tickets aa, next level undi ga pillala expectations Ade kada .. Ekkada chusinro endho .. 11 yr old adigindu anuko 1 Quote
yslokesh Posted August 16 Report Posted August 16 On 8/14/2025 at 5:45 PM, ChanceCoffeeLover said: I remember days when we were not included in desi parties because my wife did not have enough gold jewelry or at least not to their standards. Other time, the host of a party (who is a relative) called and literally said what all gold jewelry to wear so that my wife does not look out of place at their party Fcuk that sh!tty batch out of sight...and go to a place where they are no where to be seen. When I have to be at a place where I will be judged by cars/jewellery/houses I own, I will avoid the place like a Plague. Quote
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