Opts Read this

November 4

#c21096

27M, Unemployed. Hence CTC doesn't matter here. Hope y'all are doing well.

Few years back I used to work at a Big 4 firm and life was progressing and lifting up at a steady pace. Coming from a lower middle class background it felt promising to me. I never had parents. I have been raised by my grandparents.

My grandfather passed away when I was in school and my only dependant was my grandmother. She managed to somehow complete my education and I found myself a good job. But in 2022 she passed away and my life turned upside down since then.

Soon after I lost my job, defaulted on bank loans I had to take for her treatment as she had no insurance, rejections after rejections in interviews, nearly 25 interviews and I was amidst the worst situation someone can be in their mid 20s. No job, broke, no support from anyone since I am all in my own. No family, no friends. Health issues.

After like 6 months of constant job search i decided to change course. Decided to get into PG and started applying to colleges abroad just like a blind attempt to see if life has something in store for me here. Ended up getting good colleges with good scholarships but nobody financed. Understandable. Chehra dekhke koi paise thodi dedega? The plan failed. Got into legal battles due to default. Bank filed a case on me and I am still battling it not being able to repay a single penny since 2 years now.

Rebooted and started planning a small cloud kitchen business. But again no capital, couldn't manage money from anywhere. Doing it from home wasn't possible in my case and the rental costs and other metrics didn't make any sense. Dropped the plan too. Started teaching spoken English for sometime and got robbed. They never paid my dues. Left it and remained unemployed for sometime. Got diagnosed with cancer in my eye and had to undergo surgeries one after another at the starting of this year which entirely banned me from working. Cherry on the cake? I was always into photography, videography and quality content creation. Done it during my college days but couldn't continue it later because I had to sell off all my camera equipments as I needed money for my own treatment. I started video editing freelancing after I got cured, that too in moderation. My screen time is very less. I am hardly able to manage a stable income from it at this point. I was working with a startup and they shut down.

I am not getting any work, no job, no nothing. I am absolutely broke and devastated at this point of time. I feel like ending my life now. I tried a lot, as much as I could have, within my own capacity. Failed at absolutely everything. I lost. I never thought of ending my life because it's for the cowards but life has pushed me down to a point I don't see myself doing any better from here. I contemplated a lot on it but I feel terrible to admit, I am finished.

Sorry for stretching it a little too long but I just wanted to pen this down somewhere, so I did. Thank you if you have read till the end