India-Pakistan jokes(lets lighten the tensions)

[rudhira]

There was once a Indian and an Pakistani who lived next door to each other. The Indian owned a hen and each morning would look in his garden and pick up one of his hen's eggs for breakfast.

One day he looked into his garden and saw that the hen had laid an egg in the Pakistani's garden. He was about to go next door when he saw the Pakistani pick up the egg. The Indian ran up to the Pakistani and told him that the egg belonged to him because he owned the hen. The Pakistani disagreed because the egg was laid on his property.

They argued for a while until finally the Indian said, "In my family we normally solve disputes by the following actions: I kick you in the balls and time how long it takes you to get back up, then you kick me in the balls and time how long it takes for me to get up, who ever gets up quicker wins the egg."

The Pakistani agreed to this and so the Indian found his heaviest pair of boots and put them on, he took a few steps back, then ran toward the Pakistani and kicked as hard as he could in the balls. The Pakistani fell to the floor clutching his nuts howling in agony for 30 minutes.

Eventually the Pakistani stood up and said, "Now it's my turn to kick you."

The Indian said, "Keep the damn egg!"

[rudhira]

A Pakistani was driving in the countryside in USA and spotted a herd of sheep with lambs. He decided a cute little lamb would be a good pet for his son. So he stopped and asked the shepherd, 'If I can guess how many animals are in your herd, can I have one of the lambs?'
The sheepherder said, 'Yeah, sure, give it a shot.'
So he said 'There are 297.'
The shepherd was amazed because that was exactly right so he said, 'Go ahead and pick your lamb.' As Pakistani was getting ready to leave he said, 'If I can guess which country you are from, can I have the animal back?'
Pakistani said, 'Fair enough.'
The shepherd said, 'You are from Pakistan!'
The Pakistani had to return the animal. He asked the shepherd, 'How did you guess that?'
Shepherd, 'Because that animal is a dog, not a lamb!'

[Herndon- VA]

@3$% @3$% nice thread nice thread nice thread

[rudhira]

Two guys, an Indian, a Pakistani are out walking together one day. These 2 guys come across a lantern. When they rub it, a Genie pops out of it.
'I will give you each one wish, that's two wishes total,' says the Genie.
The Pakistani said, 'I want a wall around Pakistan, so that no neighbors or infidels can come into our Pakistani land.' With a blink of the Genie's eye, 'POOF' there was a huge wall around Pakistan.
'Hmmmm', the Indian asks, 'I'm very curious. Please tell me more about this wall.' The Genie explains, 'Well, it's about 150 feet high, 50 feet thick and completely surrounds Pakistan. Nothing can get in or out.'
So the Indian says, 'Fill it up with water.'

[rudhira]

There was a period during the Pakistan army's campaign of repression in East Pakistan, now Bangladesh, which was directed exclusively at the Hindus. Every Bangla Hindu tried to pass off as a Muslim. The Pakistan army couldn't be fooled that easily. During one of their pogroms, they lined up all the adults of the village.
'Name?' asked the officer. 'Moosa Mian,' replied the man.
'lift up your tehmad.' Moosa Mian did as he was told. He was allowed to go.
The next one, a Hindu, was understandably nervous. 'Name?' demanded the officer.
'Atul Bihari,' replied the man, shaking with fear.
'Why are you so scared?' demanded the officer. 'We are not looking for Biharis but only Hindus

[rudhira]

General Zia, late Pakistani president, while driving round Islamabad came across long queues of Pakistanis outside several embassies wanting visas and entry permits to go abroad. He got out of his car and joined a line to find out why so many people were wanting to leave the country. No sooner did people see their president with them they left the queue to return to their homes. President Zia asked them why they were doing so. They replied: 'If you are leaving Pakistan, there is no need for us to go.'

[rudhira]

Most cricketers, who are not comfortable in conversing in English, go prepared for some standard questions that are asked to them when commentators chat with them during the awards ceremony. Inzamam was once asked a different question after Pakistan won the match, for which he was not prepared. He always had a standard response to the first question. But this time.....

Tony Greig: So Inzi, that's fantastic, your wife is pregnant for the second time!

Inzamam: Bismillah-e-Rehman-e-Rahim! All credit goes to the boys. Everyone work hard for it, especially Afridi. It was tight situation when he went in. Also Bob Woolmer keeping close watch on progress and giving instructions. It's all team effort. Insha Allah, we all will work together as a team, put in big effort and deliver good result all the time.

[rudhira]

After Benazir Bhutto died she wanted to get an entry into paradise.
She knocked on the gate. Knock, knock, knock ...
After a long time an angel opened the door and said. 'Sorry, Ms Bhutto, wrong floor; please go down the stairs.'
After a short while, Ms Bhutto was back again knocking furiously on the gate, shouting, 'Let me in, let me in!'
'What's it now?' asked the angel politely.
'I demand political asylum!' thundered Ms Bhutto.

[lover]

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[rudhira]

Musharraf calls Bush on 11th sept Musharraf Mr President, I would like to express my condolences to you. It is a real tragedy. So many people, such great buildings... I would like to ensure that we had nothing in connection with that........

Bush What buildings? What people??
Musharraf Oh, and what time is it in America now?
Bush It's eight in the morning.
Musharraf Oops...Will call back in an hour!