thunderstorm369 Posted January 21, 2010 Report Share Posted January 21, 2010 maths-->Mentally Affected Teacher Harassing Students######################################################Q: Why couldn't the blonde write the number ELEVEN ?A: She didn't know what ONE came first...######################################################Teacher: If 1+1=2 and 2+2=4, what is 4+4?Pupil: That's not fair! You answer the easy ones and leave us with the hard one!#####################################################ROMANCE MATHEMATICSSmart man + smart woman = romanceSmart man + dumb woman = affairDumb man + smart woman = marriageDumb man + dumb woman = pregnancyOFFICE ARITHMETICSmart boss + smart employee = profitSmart boss + dumb employee = productionDumb boss + smart employee = promotionDumb boss + dumb employee = overtimeSHOPPING MATHA man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need.GENERAL EQUATIONS & STATISTICSA woman worries about the future until she gets a husbandA man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.A successful woman is one who can find such a man.HAPPINESSTo be happy with a man, you must understand him a lot and love him a little.To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot and not try to understand her at all.LONGEVITYMarried men live longer than single men, butmarried men are a lot more willing to die.MEMORYAny married man should forget his mistakes, there's no use in two people remembering the same thing.APPEARANCEMen wake up as good-looking as they went to bed.Women somehow deteriorate during the night.PROPENSITY TO CHANGEA woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, and she does.DISCUSSION TECHNIQUEA woman has the last word in any argument.Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.COMPREHENSIONThere are 2 times when a man doesn't understand a woman - before marriage and after marriage.HOW TO STOP PEOPLE FROM BUGGING YOU ABOUT GETTING MARRIED:Old aunts used to come up to me at weddings,poking me in the ribs and cackling, telling me, "You're next."They stopped after I started doing the same thing to them at funerals.*************************************************************************football math testA football coach walked into the locker room before a game, looked over to his star player and said, "I'm not supposed to let you play since you failed math, but we need you in there. So, what I have to do is ask you a math question, and if you get it right, you can play."The player agreed, and the coach looked into his eyes intently and asks, "Okay, now concentrate hard and tell me the answer to this. What is two plus two?"The player thought for a moment and then he answered, "4?""Did you say 4?" the coach exclaimed, excited that he got it right.At that, all the other players on the team began screaming, "Come on coach, give him another chance!"************************************************************ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bitterkai Posted January 21, 2010 Report Share Posted January 21, 2010 dance1w *=: *=: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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