Returned to India 3 yrs back (Issue with Parents)

[vishwavihar]

i can understand that u r a toy of fellam

[Neekendukuu]

[ttr2tr]

3 hours ago, vishwavihar said:

i can understand that u r a toy of fellam

prathi daaniki aadavalnu enduku bro blame cheydadm. OP chepina daantlo wife gurinchi ekkada ledu. TV serials influence ekuva undi nee meeda

[AllamTea23]

On 2/16/2023 at 10:38 AM, problem said:

hi all, i stayed in usa for 11 years and returned to india 3 yrs back......lyf and job everything is fyn here in india.......nenu e topic enduku vestunna ante chala mandi parents ni vadilesi us lo eppatiki ela untamu, eppatikina india vellipovali ani antaru......andariki naa experience cheptunna.......

first, nenu 2011 lo job pettanu, 2019 ending varuku us lo unnanu......india vachesi 3 yrs ayyindi......job start chesina daggara nunchi savings motham amts india pampinchukunna.......2014 lo purchased a house, where i iinvested 70% amt and father invested 30% amt.........thumb rule enti ante, even mee parents india lo unna, iddaru kalipi invest cheyyakandi, porapatuna parents emina money pedithe in house/apt purchase, vallu motham ownership teesukuntaru, valla ishtam vachinattu chestaru........naaku india vachinaduku eppudu badha padaledu, kani parents tho kalisi enduku untunna ani matram full feel avutunna.....veelu chusukuni nxt 1 yr lo ala vere seperate vellipodamani plan.......60+ vachaka parents nasa, chadastam barinchalemu......arey mana son 11 yrs vere country lo undi, antha sonthanga earn chesukuni settle ayyadu kada, ikkadiki vachaka manam prathi dantlo involve avvakudadu kada ani minimum alochincharu.......they want the information of every minor thing that happens......please note naaku maa parents chala chala close when i was in usa.......ippudu e nasa, chadastam antha peaks lo undi, we are not used to this when we are in us, so india ravali ani evarina anukunte, my sincere advice seperate ga undandi, mana life style antha diff untundi, we cant deal with all the for the small small things with the parents

Second, maa house purchase lo 70% nenu and 30% father pettukunnaru........8 yrs ayyinidi kotha house complete ayyi, mthly oka 40k rent vastadi right now, naaku rents kavali, half and half teesukundamu ika nunchi rents annanu,  mamaulu ga penta cheyyaledu.......illu purchase lo memu money pettaleda, motham needi anukuntunnava, mammalni undanistava ledha intlonchi vellipomantava antaru......antha gola gola, racha chesi, oka 1 yr rents icharu finally......maaku vere income kuda undi, rents ika nunchi half kadhu motham istamu, nuvve teesuko ani final ga 1 yr rents icharu......but iche mundu, gola chesi, godava padi, icharu........

Third, nenu us nunchi india vachetappudu koncham bulk amt valla accts ki pampinchukunna.......andhulo entha money undi adigithe, malli gola gola chesaru.....memu emina tinesamu anukuntunnava, maakemi nee money avasaram ledhu ani enno matalu annaru......emina money shortage anipiste transfer chesestamu ani aravatam..........final ga antha racha, godavatho unna amt antha fd veypinchanu........next, nenu bank acct fd vesinavi online acct kavali ani adigithe malli godava, e sari beebatsanga godava, anni fd vesesamu kada, inka neeku online enduku antaru........again too much racha cheyyatam.......

nenu pina points ekkuavaga financial topics cheppanu.......ika chinna chinnavi chala untayi.......60+ vachaka parents chadastam, nasa peaks lo untadi......manam anni yrs vere country lo undi, india lo settle valla chadastam barinchalemu.......naaku emi anipinchindi ante, nenu motham transparent ga untu, first nunchi money antha save chesukuni, vallaki pampinchanu......naaku income entha vastadi, entha savings ani information share chesukune vadini.....but return ga emina adigithe full godava, igo ki potharu.........especially my dad, ayanaki edhi kuda kids ki chepparu, none of his assets vishayalu.......valla daggari assets vachedi valla tadanantarame, which is fyn, avi valla own assets kabatti, kani naavi adigina full ga godavalu padi, racha chesi, final ga settle chesaru (Except online access of bank accts).......

1) thumb rule 1, intha detailed ga enduku cheptunna ante, people who think abt returning back to india, dont stay with ur parents.......seperate ga undandi.....15 days or 1 mth ki okasari kalavandi.......we got used to some life style for long time in usa, a taruvatha kalisi undalemu, no matter how close you are with ur parents........

2) thumb rule 2, if you have plans to settle in usa only, plz plz india okka rupee pampakandi.........rasi pettukondi, pampinavi malla us teppinchukovali ante mamuluga chukkalu kanipinchavu.........parents ki pampiste, malla adigithe racha racha chestaru........dont send money to india if you dont have plans to return to india.......e points naa personal experience tho cheptunna......

 

I wish i read ur story in 2010 before i sent all my money to my parents...Watever U have written is 100 %%% true..i am in same boat as U are...i lived in US and now staying with parents..

Very bad experience of staying with parents

 

Friends Pls listen to this guy..Thanks

[AllamTea23]

LTT

[RENT]

On 2/17/2023 at 10:43 PM, vishwavihar said:

i can understand that u r a toy of fellam

Bochem emi kadu. 

[Yomama20]

Am thankful for my parents. I should do better and take good care of them. 

 

 

[geeni83]

21 hours ago, AllamTea23 said:

I wish i read ur story in 2010 before i sent all my money to my parents...Watever U have written is 100 %%% true..i am in same boat as U are...i lived in US and now staying with parents..

Very bad experience of staying with parents

 

Friends Pls listen to this guy..Thanks

Ne personal experience yenti bro

[trent]

Nuvve kadu 2 yrs back post vesav. India ki oka 500k from line of credit and credit cards etc tesukelthunna annav? 
 

entha tesukellav final ga

[vokatonumberkurrodu]

On 2/16/2023 at 12:08 AM, problem said:

hi all, i stayed in usa for 11 years and returned to india 3 yrs back......lyf and job everything is fyn here in india.......nenu e topic enduku vestunna ante chala mandi parents ni vadilesi us lo eppatiki ela untamu, eppatikina india vellipovali ani antaru......andariki naa experience cheptunna.......

first, nenu 2011 lo job pettanu, 2019 ending varuku us lo unnanu......india vachesi 3 yrs ayyindi......job start chesina daggara nunchi savings motham amts india pampinchukunna.......2014 lo purchased a house, where i iinvested 70% amt and father invested 30% amt.........thumb rule enti ante, even mee parents india lo unna, iddaru kalipi invest cheyyakandi, porapatuna parents emina money pedithe in house/apt purchase, vallu motham ownership teesukuntaru, valla ishtam vachinattu chestaru........naaku india vachinaduku eppudu badha padaledu, kani parents tho kalisi enduku untunna ani matram full feel avutunna.....veelu chusukuni nxt 1 yr lo ala vere seperate vellipodamani plan.......60+ vachaka parents nasa, chadastam barinchalemu......arey mana son 11 yrs vere country lo undi, antha sonthanga earn chesukuni settle ayyadu kada, ikkadiki vachaka manam prathi dantlo involve avvakudadu kada ani minimum alochincharu.......they want the information of every minor thing that happens......please note naaku maa parents chala chala close when i was in usa.......ippudu e nasa, chadastam antha peaks lo undi, we are not used to this when we are in us, so india ravali ani evarina anukunte, my sincere advice seperate ga undandi, mana life style antha diff untundi, we cant deal with all the for the small small things with the parents

Second, maa house purchase lo 70% nenu and 30% father pettukunnaru........8 yrs ayyinidi kotha house complete ayyi, mthly oka 40k rent vastadi right now, naaku rents kavali, half and half teesukundamu ika nunchi rents annanu,  mamaulu ga penta cheyyaledu.......illu purchase lo memu money pettaleda, motham needi anukuntunnava, mammalni undanistava ledha intlonchi vellipomantava antaru......antha gola gola, racha chesi, oka 1 yr rents icharu finally......maaku vere income kuda undi, rents ika nunchi half kadhu motham istamu, nuvve teesuko ani final ga 1 yr rents icharu......but iche mundu, gola chesi, godava padi, icharu........

Third, nenu us nunchi india vachetappudu koncham bulk amt valla accts ki pampinchukunna.......andhulo entha money undi adigithe, malli gola gola chesaru.....memu emina tinesamu anukuntunnava, maakemi nee money avasaram ledhu ani enno matalu annaru......emina money shortage anipiste transfer chesestamu ani aravatam..........final ga antha racha, godavatho unna amt antha fd veypinchanu........next, nenu bank acct fd vesinavi online acct kavali ani adigithe malli godava, e sari beebatsanga godava, anni fd vesesamu kada, inka neeku online enduku antaru........again too much racha cheyyatam.......

nenu pina points ekkuavaga financial topics cheppanu.......ika chinna chinnavi chala untayi.......60+ vachaka parents chadastam, nasa peaks lo untadi......manam anni yrs vere country lo undi, india lo settle valla chadastam barinchalemu.......naaku emi anipinchindi ante, nenu motham transparent ga untu, first nunchi money antha save chesukuni, vallaki pampinchanu......naaku income entha vastadi, entha savings ani information share chesukune vadini.....but return ga emina adigithe full godava, igo ki potharu.........especially my dad, ayanaki edhi kuda kids ki chepparu, none of his assets vishayalu.......valla daggari assets vachedi valla tadanantarame, which is fyn, avi valla own assets kabatti, kani naavi adigina full ga godavalu padi, racha chesi, final ga settle chesaru (Except online access of bank accts).......

1) thumb rule 1, intha detailed ga enduku cheptunna ante, people who think abt returning back to india, dont stay with ur parents.......seperate ga undandi.....15 days or 1 mth ki okasari kalavandi.......we got used to some life style for long time in usa, a taruvatha kalisi undalemu, no matter how close you are with ur parents........

2) thumb rule 2, if you have plans to settle in usa only, plz plz india okka rupee pampakandi.........rasi pettukondi, pampinavi malla us teppinchukovali ante mamuluga chukkalu kanipinchavu.........parents ki pampiste, malla adigithe racha racha chestaru........dont send money to india if you dont have plans to return to india.......e points naa personal experience tho cheptunna......

 

In your POV, you shared everything with them and now you are asking some back which is no big deal

In their POV, you shared everything with them and "why" are you asking back now. They feel like you are trying to get away from them. I assume you are married so they may think your spouse is calling all shots and making you ask your share.

Just be patient. inko 5-10 yrs lo they wont even have interest in money matters. 

inka chadastham antava, thats generation gap. I am 40. Even now when I go to India. My dad always says to come back soon, dont stay out long in the nights. 10:00 PM kalla all gates closed and door locked.

 

[hawaiibabu]

On 2/16/2023 at 12:08 AM, problem said:

hi all, i stayed in usa for 11 years and returned to india 3 yrs back......lyf and job everything is fyn here in india.......nenu e topic enduku vestunna ante chala mandi parents ni vadilesi us lo eppatiki ela untamu, eppatikina india vellipovali ani antaru......andariki naa experience cheptunna.......

first, nenu 2011 lo job pettanu, 2019 ending varuku us lo unnanu......india vachesi 3 yrs ayyindi......job start chesina daggara nunchi savings motham amts india pampinchukunna.......2014 lo purchased a house, where i iinvested 70% amt and father invested 30% amt.........thumb rule enti ante, even mee parents india lo unna, iddaru kalipi invest cheyyakandi, porapatuna parents emina money pedithe in house/apt purchase, vallu motham ownership teesukuntaru, valla ishtam vachinattu chestaru........naaku india vachinaduku eppudu badha padaledu, kani parents tho kalisi enduku untunna ani matram full feel avutunna.....veelu chusukuni nxt 1 yr lo ala vere seperate vellipodamani plan.......60+ vachaka parents nasa, chadastam barinchalemu......arey mana son 11 yrs vere country lo undi, antha sonthanga earn chesukuni settle ayyadu kada, ikkadiki vachaka manam prathi dantlo involve avvakudadu kada ani minimum alochincharu.......they want the information of every minor thing that happens......please note naaku maa parents chala chala close when i was in usa.......ippudu e nasa, chadastam antha peaks lo undi, we are not used to this when we are in us, so india ravali ani evarina anukunte, my sincere advice seperate ga undandi, mana life style antha diff untundi, we cant deal with all the for the small small things with the parents

Second, maa house purchase lo 70% nenu and 30% father pettukunnaru........8 yrs ayyinidi kotha house complete ayyi, mthly oka 40k rent vastadi right now, naaku rents kavali, half and half teesukundamu ika nunchi rents annanu,  mamaulu ga penta cheyyaledu.......illu purchase lo memu money pettaleda, motham needi anukuntunnava, mammalni undanistava ledha intlonchi vellipomantava antaru......antha gola gola, racha chesi, oka 1 yr rents icharu finally......maaku vere income kuda undi, rents ika nunchi half kadhu motham istamu, nuvve teesuko ani final ga 1 yr rents icharu......but iche mundu, gola chesi, godava padi, icharu........

Third, nenu us nunchi india vachetappudu koncham bulk amt valla accts ki pampinchukunna.......andhulo entha money undi adigithe, malli gola gola chesaru.....memu emina tinesamu anukuntunnava, maakemi nee money avasaram ledhu ani enno matalu annaru......emina money shortage anipiste transfer chesestamu ani aravatam..........final ga antha racha, godavatho unna amt antha fd veypinchanu........next, nenu bank acct fd vesinavi online acct kavali ani adigithe malli godava, e sari beebatsanga godava, anni fd vesesamu kada, inka neeku online enduku antaru........again too much racha cheyyatam.......

nenu pina points ekkuavaga financial topics cheppanu.......ika chinna chinnavi chala untayi.......60+ vachaka parents chadastam, nasa peaks lo untadi......manam anni yrs vere country lo undi, india lo settle valla chadastam barinchalemu.......naaku emi anipinchindi ante, nenu motham transparent ga untu, first nunchi money antha save chesukuni, vallaki pampinchanu......naaku income entha vastadi, entha savings ani information share chesukune vadini.....but return ga emina adigithe full godava, igo ki potharu.........especially my dad, ayanaki edhi kuda kids ki chepparu, none of his assets vishayalu.......valla daggari assets vachedi valla tadanantarame, which is fyn, avi valla own assets kabatti, kani naavi adigina full ga godavalu padi, racha chesi, final ga settle chesaru (Except online access of bank accts).......

1) thumb rule 1, intha detailed ga enduku cheptunna ante, people who think abt returning back to india, dont stay with ur parents.......seperate ga undandi.....15 days or 1 mth ki okasari kalavandi.......we got used to some life style for long time in usa, a taruvatha kalisi undalemu, no matter how close you are with ur parents........

2) thumb rule 2, if you have plans to settle in usa only, plz plz india okka rupee pampakandi.........rasi pettukondi, pampinavi malla us teppinchukovali ante mamuluga chukkalu kanipinchavu.........parents ki pampiste, malla adigithe racha racha chestaru........dont send money to india if you dont have plans to return to india.......e points naa personal experience tho cheptunna......

 

Maa nayana eppudo retire ayipoyindu….private employee kabatti pension /retirement emi radhu…mottham expenses anni nene soosukunta …it’s never a problem for me…and they have that right too… 

But………..…Nenu pampina amount ki lekka adigithe eppudu sepparu…kani ikkada naa dhaggara entha money vasthayo ,karchulu ponu entha migulthadho mathram vallaki lekka sepali anta …

that’s not fair …meeru adhi seppandi…Nenu idhi septha mine is not a secret ante…memu seppam…Nuvvu adaga koodadhu avanni…kani nee income expenditures mathram maaku seppalsindhe antaru 

 

felliki mundhu na dhaggara emi unchukokunda mottham pampe vadini…appato investment properties kontununde…aa stage lo venakki potham ane peeling tho….

after marriage single income and growing family/expenses tho migiledhi emi lekunde… also friends ni soosaka no going back ani thelusukunna..and india lo inka investment continue sesi back thecchudu kashtam ani fix ayyi ..better to buy home  ane decision ki vaccha ….so only vallaki avasaram ayinanthe pampe vadini …but indhantha vallaki wifee control loki pothunnanu ani peeling vacchesindhi…inka music started naaku vallaki madhya…ivanni us life lo vacche organic changes/ different phases and wifee ki sambandham ledhu ani enni sarlu ardham ayettu koorsobetti seppina …ending ki vacchedhi okate maata…nee fellam matale ekkuthayi…memu seppedhi vinavu ….YOU CHANGED AFTER MARRIAGE 

[problem]

On 3/16/2023 at 8:42 PM, AllamTea23 said:

I wish i read ur story in 2010 before i sent all my money to my parents...Watever U have written is 100 %%% true..i am in same boat as U are...i lived in US and now staying with parents..

Very bad experience of staying with parents

 

Friends Pls listen to this guy..Thanks

nee story ento cheppu bhayy brief ga.....

[problem]

5 hours ago, hawaiibabu said:

Maa nayana eppudo retire ayipoyindu….private employee kabatti pension /retirement emi radhu…mottham expenses anni nene soosukunta …it’s never a problem for me…and they have that right too… 

But………..…Nenu pampina amount ki lekka adigithe eppudu sepparu…kani ikkada naa dhaggara entha money vasthayo ,karchulu ponu entha migulthadho mathram vallaki lekka sepali anta …

that’s not fair …meeru adhi seppandi…Nenu idhi septha mine is not a secret ante…memu seppam…Nuvvu adaga koodadhu avanni…kani nee income expenditures mathram maaku seppalsindhe antaru 

 

felliki mundhu na dhaggara emi unchukokunda mottham pampe vadini…appato investment properties kontununde…aa stage lo venakki potham ane peeling tho….

after marriage single income and growing family/expenses tho migiledhi emi lekunde… also friends ni soosaka no going back ani thelusukunna..and india lo inka investment continue sesi back thecchudu kashtam ani fix ayyi ..better to buy home  ane decision ki vaccha ….so only vallaki avasaram ayinanthe pampe vadini …but indhantha vallaki wifee control loki pothunnanu ani peeling vacchesindhi…inka music started naaku vallaki madhya…ivanni us life lo vacche organic changes/ different phases and wifee ki sambandham ledhu ani enni sarlu ardham ayettu koorsobetti seppina …ending ki vacchedhi okate maata…nee fellam matale ekkuthayi…memu seppedhi vinavu ….YOU CHANGED AFTER MARRIAGE 

 

most of the indian parents are lyk that.......vallu manaki emina asthulu ichedi unte, adhi vallu complete old age ki vachinappude.....manam matram young age lo save chesukunnnadi motham 100% transparent tho vallaki clear ga cheppali....

 

 

[secundrabadi]

6 hours ago, hawaiibabu said:

Maa nayana eppudo retire ayipoyindu….private employee kabatti pension /retirement emi radhu…mottham expenses anni nene soosukunta …it’s never a problem for me…and they have that right too… 

But………..…Nenu pampina amount ki lekka adigithe eppudu sepparu…kani ikkada naa dhaggara entha money vasthayo ,karchulu ponu entha migulthadho mathram vallaki lekka sepali anta …

that’s not fair …meeru adhi seppandi…Nenu idhi septha mine is not a secret ante…memu seppam…Nuvvu adaga koodadhu avanni…kani nee income expenditures mathram maaku seppalsindhe antaru 

 

felliki mundhu na dhaggara emi unchukokunda mottham pampe vadini…appato investment properties kontununde…aa stage lo venakki potham ane peeling tho….

after marriage single income and growing family/expenses tho migiledhi emi lekunde… also friends ni soosaka no going back ani thelusukunna..and india lo inka investment continue sesi back thecchudu kashtam ani fix ayyi ..better to buy home  ane decision ki vaccha ….so only vallaki avasaram ayinanthe pampe vadini …but indhantha vallaki wifee control loki pothunnanu ani peeling vacchesindhi…inka music started naaku vallaki madhya…ivanni us life lo vacche organic changes/ different phases and wifee ki sambandham ledhu ani enni sarlu ardham ayettu koorsobetti seppina …ending ki vacchedhi okate maata…nee fellam matale ekkuthayi…memu seppedhi vinavu ….YOU CHANGED AFTER MARRIAGE 

Most Telugu families lo same story. 
 

Anthe ga anthe ga ani cheppu mee parents ki 

[iddaritho]

21 hours ago, vokatonumberkurrodu said:

In your POV, you shared everything with them and now you are asking some back which is no big deal

In their POV, you shared everything with them and "why" are you asking back now. They feel like you are trying to get away from them. I assume you are married so they may think your spouse is calling all shots and making you ask your share.

Just be patient. inko 5-10 yrs lo they wont even have interest in money matters. 

inka chadastham antava, thats generation gap. I am 40. Even now when I go to India. My dad always says to come back soon, dont stay out long in the nights. 10:00 PM kalla all gates closed and door locked.

 

Dude the same thing , my parents control every thing , they are here in US , they will tell me what to eat , when to sleep , what should we buy and what should we not and waste money on 

one good thing is they will do all the work , like the other day I was cleaning dishes , my mom and dad felt bad and next day on wards my dad was cleaning dishes in the morning. my mom wants my wife to do everything , how ever she leave to work at 6 am , so I help out with household chores. 
 

She wants  me to eat 6 to 7 dosas , she has arthritis but she will always want to prepare dosas to bring it to me in the sofa ,when I shout to not stand and cook dosas she will be like you can do it after we leave. 

I end up cooking dosas or idlys before they wake up some days so they can atleast rest. My mom wants my wife to do everything and not me so she end up leaving some work for the weekend when my wife is home. 
 

as far as money goes , I am the only son, I did send lot of money , my dad bought few lands on his name and my name. 

 

last three years I didn’t send any money except for gifts to my sisters kids like gold 
 

I never ask my dad about the details as I trust him , he keeps everything in order and I expect him to write everything on my name. I mean our family only male kids get everything. 

I  told them am moving back to India in 3 years , we are planning to buy a villa in Hyderabad and stay there, not with any of the parents 

my mom was not happy , but she got adjusted. They asked me to renovate our house so they will get rents and they can stay in our own house, which by the way likely won’t come to me as they are planning to leave it to my sisters. ( worth more than 9 crores ). I said I will pay for the construction but asked 1/3 share and rental share ( construction is estimated at 2to 3 crores ) they were not happy. So I compromised and paying them 1 crore and they will get loan for the remaining name and build the house. 
 

at-least they will be happy and busy managing the house and we can live our lives and have them on the weekend when we can spend time together.