CaptainMaverick Posted March 18 Report Share Posted March 18 Parents in general are sadists. They try to control every aspect of their children's lives. And they hate it when they start losing control which usually happens when their children start getting jobs(especially in the US where annual salaries are more than many parents ever earned in their lifetime)...but it really bothers them passively when they get married, out of the fear that the spouse might control the child. And with NRI children, they love getting stuff from abroad for free & then brag to friends & family members but hate it when they're asked to do some work for them( in India/abroad.) Some start squandering the money sent to them & get offended when asked about what they did with it. Some like to play victims & get sympathy from other family members. And especially during COVID, almost no NRI parent listened to the precautions/suggestions of their children. Some of them survived, some of them died. At the end of the day, it was the Children who felt the mental agony. Parents of our generation are the most pampered by their kids. Their parents had to work very hard & our generation is also working hard. Although this is not how everyone feels, it completely depends on the individual relationship with their parents...but after listening to many first hand accounts from colleagues, friends & cousins, I am saying this. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
reality Posted March 18 Report Share Posted March 18 57 minutes ago, CaptainMaverick said: Parents in general are sadists. They try to control every aspect of their children's lives. And they hate it when they start losing control which usually happens when their children start getting jobs(especially in the US where annual salaries are more than many parents ever earned in their lifetime)...but it really bothers them passively when they get married, out of the fear that the spouse might control the child. And with NRI children, they love getting stuff from abroad for free & then brag to friends & family members but hate it when they're asked to do some work for them( in India/abroad.) Some start squandering the money sent to them & get offended when asked about what they did with it. Some like to play victims & get sympathy from other family members. And especially during COVID, almost no NRI parent listened to the precautions/suggestions of their children. Some of them survived, some of them died. At the end of the day, it was the Children who felt the mental agony. Parents of our generation are the most pampered by their kids. Their parents had to work very hard & our generation is also working hard. Although this is not how everyone feels, it completely depends on the individual relationship with their parents...but after listening to many first hand accounts from colleagues, friends & cousins, I am saying this. Ooko ooko vaa… I hear you. But, they are not sadists. Discomfort of being left alone at that age makes them act like that. I agree it doesn’t look good from your perspective. But, it is what it is. Don’t judge. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Peddayana Posted March 18 Report Share Posted March 18 52 minutes ago, CaptainMaverick said: Parents in general are sadists. They try to control every aspect of their children's lives. And they hate it when they start losing control which usually happens when their children start getting jobs(especially in the US where annual salaries are more than many parents ever earned in their lifetime)...but it really bothers them passively when they get married, out of the fear that the spouse might control the child. And with NRI children, they love getting stuff from abroad for free & then brag to friends & family members but hate it when they're asked to do some work for them( in India/abroad.) Some start squandering the money sent to them & get offended when asked about what they did with it. Some like to play victims & get sympathy from other family members. And especially during COVID, almost no NRI parent listened to the precautions/suggestions of their children. Some of them survived, some of them died. At the end of the day, it was the Children who felt the mental agony. Parents of our generation are the most pampered by their kids. Their parents had to work very hard & our generation is also working hard. Although this is not how everyone feels, it completely depends on the individual relationship with their parents...but after listening to many first hand accounts from colleagues, friends & cousins, I am saying this. baga cheppavu, you are someone who has seen reality not being sarcastic parents do whatever they want to do, they left their families and parents and migrated to cities, now their children is leaving them to migrate to different countries, they feel whatever they did is right but whatever you did is wrong phone calls lo guilt tripping mamuluga undadu they love bragging about kids being successful but want them to come back, oh the hypocrisy! also they play victim card to other relatives usually once they get a certain age they realize that some of their peers who have kids closer to them (same city, nearby) are spending time with kids and grandkids, given that they have retired and no activity to keep them busy its normal for them to feel jealous of their peers, this in-turn becomes guilt tripping in phone calls asking one to come to India I also feel once someone comes back to India, it will turn into another form of circus and daily drama there they interfere in kids life and will feel bad if they do not get their way, this in-turn turns into sh*t show with DIL usually as she might have lived for several years with out daily interference and now feels that her life has turned worse now ee show lo pedda debba will be for the son who is back ila interfere kakunda vunde parents unte kids are luck but 9 out of 10 cases to daily interference untundi 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CaptainMaverick Posted March 18 Report Share Posted March 18 13 hours ago, reality said: Ooko ooko vaa… I hear you. But, they are not sadists. Discomfort of being left alone at that age makes them act like that. I agree it doesn’t look good from your perspective. But, it is what it is. Don’t judge. I'm not saying everyone's like this...but they're at least 75% of parents who do this. And children perceive it is based on their own perception. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joker_007 Posted March 20 Report Share Posted March 20 They better off in India rather than in US. Most of the parents are emotionally bonded to the country. As they have reached age of 65 not a good thing to ask them to travel frequently. I know it is tough to maintain Job and travelling to India frequently. Set some date for yourself every year plan in advance so that it won't be impediment to your Job. Put some money aside every month for them first then plan your Bills and Payments .. I hope you bought health insurance for them. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nag Posted March 20 Report Share Posted March 20 On 3/17/2024 at 8:57 PM, Poll_Rangadu said: Me and Sibling live in US. We both are USC.Kids going to elementary and Middle school. I am asking parents to settle here in US with us. They are like no dady listen. In return they are asking us to come back to India and settle. Ikkada vallu unapudu i see them very happy with their community friends and they have more events , pooja’s per week. But once they go back , they complain they dont like it here and cannot live in us. I am only son , taking care of my parents is my responsibility. how to convince parents to come and live with us. Silly fellow laaga vunnavu. Neeku already telsu parents ki India ney correct ani. Vallani convince cheyali anukuntunnavu nee comfort kosam. You feel better if they are with you. Adhi nee swardham but vallaki edhi happness istundho adhi maathram nuvvu ivvavu. In simple words ..vaallu neetho vundali and also they should feel happy aney nee feeling is very cruel rangadu. Vallani happy ga vundani.. ninnu kannanduku vallaki torture ivvaku Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dabbidi_dibbidee Posted March 20 Report Share Posted March 20 On 3/17/2024 at 8:05 PM, Poll_Rangadu said: Thanks brother. I am unable to leave them just like that in india. They live far away from my relatives due to my father's bank job. Sometimes, I get up in the midnight thinking about their safety. I have been going through sleep less nights worry about my parents. They both are 65+ Both 65+ why job now ? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Arjun9 Posted March 20 Report Share Posted March 20 India velli few months per year Remote job do... every 2-3 years try to bring them here in Business class (Non holiday seasons).. Set up good video call TV ki... try to talk to them daily once for few min Nenu adhe doing.. atleast they dont feel complete lonely and think that they are left with no one Inka oldage groups untaai.. they meet.. go for trips etc.. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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