(In)fertility facts

[lollilolli2020]

9 minutes ago, Rushabhi said:

Because I do not want them to be saddled with student debt for the rest of their life. I want to at least give them some base to start their life. Inheritance ivvalasina pani ledhu. Only talking about college fee

 history/social service lanti lafoot subjects which have no practical or real life use vunna courses cheste debt vundakunda em avtadi; I would rather encourage my kids to pursue education which has real life use. 

[Konebhar6]

6 minutes ago, lollilolli2020 said:

I have seen where western folks also indulge in kids life such as helping them with college fees; down payment for home; not a common occurrence but some families I observed may be my sample size is less but doing that for all of your 4/5 kids ain't joke. 

I don't mean just financially. Routinely monitoring kids progress in school, teaching them if they are not good in some subject or sending them to tuitions, robotics, math classes, kumon, etc, taking up extra activies not because kids like them but because its good for college applications, etc. We worry about them, constant monitoring about their activites with friends, worrying if they have a Gf/BF, etc. 

It adds a lot of stress. They don't worry as much. If we need to live in US we need to take some of their concepts. 

[Rushabhi]

1 hour ago, lollilolli2020 said:

 history/social service lanti lafoot subjects which have no practical or real life use vunna courses cheste debt vundakunda em avtadi; I would rather encourage my kids to pursue education which has real life use. 

How does it matter. Manchi colleges anni chala costly ayyayi. We should not compare to our generation even for US education. Ippudu college undergrad chala costly unnay. And jeethalu antha levu. Plus APR on student loans are high. Edaina college board ni follow avvu telusthundi. US lo chadavali ante save cheyyaka tappadhu. Europe or India ayithe maybe a little less. Although India lo kooda baaga perigayi

[pichukgudu]

I really feel .. marriage is not for everyone and neither is having kids !!! Only those ppl shd marry who really want a companion for a lifetime and only those cpl shd hv kids who really want to .. & raise their kids selflessly !!! Neither of this shd be done just for the sake of it and definitely not to show to the society that you're capable of doing it !!!

Reason is our earlier gen always believed in taking pride for the achievements of their kids, which they couldn't achieve themselves even whn they had the chance ... Similarly our next gen is so very judgemental abt their parent's position based on so called society defined standards .. and we in the middle r caught up in the confusion to decide .. what's a content/worth life??

For any model (Institutional / Societal / Natural) to work .. roles/responsibilities need to be defined/separated and need to be carried out by respective entities ..  but in the name of evolution .. humans hv given up on working together and appreciate the naturally attained abilities of women & men alike .. Instead spend our energy on proving our capabilities to each odr and belittling each odr for wat they are not designed to do  ...

When two ppl who decide to build a family .. are so focussed on individual goals .. which are mostly the same (building a career / financial security / ambitions) go through same kind of situations w.r.t mental / physical health due to the same kind of lifestyle and expecting one/both of them to take additional responsibilities w.r.t separating professional life from personal life leads to frequent conflicts back at home and there is always that tension in the atmosphere which can change the vibe anytime with just 1 question (friendly or not) -- Why am i only supposed to do that ?? / why is your work more important than mine ??

Bottomline: No hard & fast rule to live a life in just one way .. Choices we make, are the ones we have to live with. So, its important we choose wisely !!! We shd just be worried that at whatever age we take any decision .. we stand by it .. no matter the consequences !!!  

[yemdoing]

2 hours ago, lollilolli2020 said:

 history/social service lanti lafoot subjects which have no practical or real life use vunna courses cheste debt vundakunda em avtadi; I would rather encourage my kids to pursue education which has real life use. 

I would say it's a family decision to support your child with college expenses or not. 

personally if my dad didn't support me with college nenu ippudu bajjilu vesukunevadinemo .

[Konebhar6]

2 hours ago, yemdoing said:

I would say it's a family decision to support your child with college expenses or not. 

personally if my dad didn't support me with college nenu ippudu bajjilu vesukunevadinemo .

We would have learnt about your successful business earning crores of money via Instagram or youtube. You missed an opportunity

[Konebhar6]

2 hours ago, pichukgudu said:

I really feel .. marriage is not for everyone and neither is having kids !!! Only those ppl shd marry who really want a companion for a lifetime and only those cpl shd hv kids who really want to .. & raise their kids selflessly !!! Neither of this shd be done just for the sake of it and definitely not to show to the society that you're capable of doing it !!!

Reason is our earlier gen always believed in taking pride for the achievements of their kids, which they couldn't achieve themselves even whn they had the chance ... Similarly our next gen is so very judgemental abt their parent's position based on so called society defined standards .. and we in the middle r caught up in the confusion to decide .. what's a content/worth life??

For any model (Institutional / Societal / Natural) to work .. roles/responsibilities need to be defined/separated and need to be carried out by respective entities ..  but in the name of evolution .. humans hv given up on working together and appreciate the naturally attained abilities of women & men alike .. Instead spend our energy on proving our capabilities to each odr and belittling each odr for wat they are not designed to do  ...

When two ppl who decide to build a family .. are so focussed on individual goals .. which are mostly the same (building a career / financial security / ambitions) go through same kind of situations w.r.t mental / physical health due to the same kind of lifestyle and expecting one/both of them to take additional responsibilities w.r.t separating professional life from personal life leads to frequent conflicts back at home and there is always that tension in the atmosphere which can change the vibe anytime with just 1 question (friendly or not) -- Why am i only supposed to do that ?? / why is your work more important than mine ??

Bottomline: No hard & fast rule to live a life in just one way .. Choices we make, are the ones we have to live with. So, its important we choose wisely !!! We shd just be worried that at whatever age we take any decision .. we stand by it .. no matter the consequences !!!  

You are on spot with the points. However one caveat is that thinking process will change for people. If they maintain this thought process through out their lives, no issues. 

They re-access their earlier decisions at a later stage when nothing can be done and repent. 

There is no right or wrong. There are only perspectives and they change with time.

[Sixers]

5 hours ago, Rushabhi said:

Naa opinion. We cannot beat genetic lottery. However fit we try to become age vache kodhi chronic diseases vasthayi. It will be hard to keep up with kids as they grow. Every day above 65 is a bonus. Get child rearing done before 60. So that means 35-36 being the upper limit for giving birth to all children. Else retire avvalsina time lo college fees lu kattukovalsi vachidhi. Retire avvalem relax avvalem. 

Retirement plan lone ledu naaku. Atleast 75-80 years varaku job chesi dani tharuvaatha edayina gudilo free service anukuntunna. Emantaru.

[enigmatic]

may be its nature way of  controlling over population as the planet is running out of resources. 

[Thokkalee]

4 hours ago, pichukgudu said:

I really feel .. marriage is not for everyone and neither is having kids !!! Only those ppl shd marry who really want a companion for a lifetime and only those cpl shd hv kids who really want to .. & raise their kids selflessly !!! Neither of this shd be done just for the sake of it and definitely not to show to the society that you're capable of doing it !!!

Reason is our earlier gen always believed in taking pride for the achievements of their kids, which they couldn't achieve themselves even whn they had the chance ... Similarly our next gen is so very judgemental abt their parent's position based on so called society defined standards .. and we in the middle r caught up in the confusion to decide .. what's a content/worth life??

For any model (Institutional / Societal / Natural) to work .. roles/responsibilities need to be defined/separated and need to be carried out by respective entities ..  but in the name of evolution .. humans hv given up on working together and appreciate the naturally attained abilities of women & men alike .. Instead spend our energy on proving our capabilities to each odr and belittling each odr for wat they are not designed to do  ...

When two ppl who decide to build a family .. are so focussed on individual goals .. which are mostly the same (building a career / financial security / ambitions) go through same kind of situations w.r.t mental / physical health due to the same kind of lifestyle and expecting one/both of them to take additional responsibilities w.r.t separating professional life from personal life leads to frequent conflicts back at home and there is always that tension in the atmosphere which can change the vibe anytime with just 1 question (friendly or not) -- Why am i only supposed to do that ?? / why is your work more important than mine ??

Bottomline: No hard & fast rule to live a life in just one way .. Choices we make, are the ones we have to live with. So, its important we choose wisely !!! We shd just be worried that at whatever age we take any decision .. we stand by it .. no matter the consequences !!!  

If you are strong about your opinion and stick to it all your life, you are gold. But many ppl cannot do that as humans are social beings and they need a good companion. Sooner or later they will realize this and cannot find a partner that suits their needs. 

I used to think in similar way in my early-mid 20’s as I was always surrounded by friends.. oka sari job ki relocate ayyanu remote place ki.. friends leka picchi lechindi.. couldn’t bear the loneliness.. then got married.. never regretted it.. 

[AndhraPickles]

4play bagunte...outcome baguntundi....🤣

[pichukgudu]

14 hours ago, Konebhar6 said:

You are on spot with the points. However one caveat is that thinking process will change for people. If they maintain this thought process through out their lives, no issues. 

They re-access their earlier decisions at a later stage when nothing can be done and repent. 

There is no right or wrong. There are only perspectives and they change with time.

 

12 hours ago, Thokkalee said:

If you are strong about your opinion and stick to it all your life, you are gold. But many ppl cannot do that as humans are social beings and they need a good companion. Sooner or later they will realize this and cannot find a partner that suits their needs. 

I used to think in similar way in my early-mid 20’s as I was always surrounded by friends.. oka sari job ki relocate ayyanu remote place ki.. friends leka picchi lechindi.. couldn’t bear the loneliness.. then got married.. never regretted it.. 

If you believe that, to be successful in our respective fields .. we need to be compassionate , then to build a relationship you need to be a lot more than that! Not everyone makes a good mum / good dad just because there still exists individual interests within humans, which is natural & also keeps changing with time!! That's why we need to make our choices wisely coz as adults .. ppl in a relationship can still understand and adjust or end it if they're unhappy... but if you bring in a kid now .. the scenario is entirely different ... doesnt matter which one among the two fires a bullet, it's only gonna hurt the kids w.r.t their mental health!

Human relations shd always be outcome of emotional bonding, and not transactional based as it makes life evn more complex coz a relation involves 2 or more ppl and each one has their own experiences and beliefs .. which may not be similar in majority of the cases .. but relations will be able to withstand the test of time .. if we're emotionally attached and everything else will fall in place, and friendship is the best example .. When we're friends with someone we just want to be with them coz we enjoy their company and not coz we expect something in return .. Also we trust 'em with everything as we see 'em as our strength and the only ones we can rely on! 

In a family whr parents and kids dont maintain such friendship and can't act selflessly for each odr .. and just follow the rights & duties principle, it'll still work .. but then u're just adding more pressures to ur life and also dragging innocent souls and putting them under the pump .. without really helping anyone's cause!

[lollilolli2020]

18 hours ago, Rushabhi said:

How does it matter. Manchi colleges anni chala costly ayyayi. We should not compare to our generation even for US education. Ippudu college undergrad chala costly unnay. And jeethalu antha levu. Plus APR on student loans are high. Edaina college board ni follow avvu telusthundi. US lo chadavali ante save cheyyaka tappadhu. Europe or India ayithe maybe a little less. Although India lo kooda baaga perigayi

it matters akkai; pls go to the bold text I chose to comment on. 
for example; my friend's wife did bachelors and MBA works for optum with a 6 figure salary; while her brother who did bachelors in some arts in a reputed university in boston (read as high fees) ended up in some school as a teacher. In both cases they have incurred some debt but only one can clear those debts. high debts vundedi aa special cases lo ney. 

despite you want to help your kid with school fees worthless degrees meeda spend chesi em labam ani antunna; the very reason of student debts.