Desi - northie - woman - arrogant - boss

[zamoora_rules]

7 hours ago, Konebhar6 said:

Utilize the 1:1's to give constructive criticism. Ask your wife to express how she feels. Also ask her her manager's assesment. Is this happening only to your wife or others in team too? Its easy to pick your wife's side. May be there is an issue from her side too. Do an self-assessment there as well.

Express below during 1:1

- I feel disrespected the way I am treated. 

 - I am new to the technology. I am learning and putting in my best efforts. I can't be an expert in a day. Its a process and will take time. Ask her manager what the expectations are from her for the job. 

 - Having an honest conversation is the best way. Making her an ally is better than making her an enemy. If not 1:1, take her out for lunch and have this conversation. 

Important thing is to express how your wife feels. May be it will change her. Give her a chance. If things do not improve or become worse, escalation is the only way. Reach out to next level manager. If multiple people are experiencing the same, go as a group to next level manager. Final stop is HR.

Well, I have seen this type of behavior from south managers too.. and not trying to bring out any regional differences here.

I strongly believe that many managers are akin to such behavior due to their past experiences in getting things done in their previous projects. Unfortunately, knowing or unknowingly that behavior gets imbibed, and they think it’s normal for them to express that way in other workplaces too.  

Sadly, I’m seeing the same type of behavior in many others too off late. The good old days of office work culture don’t exist any longer and it's just a race now to reach the pinnacle. Hmm...

[veerigadu]

desi managers idhi common vayya....Management antee adhedhooo ego trip laaa untadhi yevvaram. memu thopuuu ani feel aytharuuu mana desi tejalu..... She wont change. Ask your wife to change team. If that is a possibility. Simple.....

[*Prince Charming]

8 hours ago, Konebhar6 said:

Utilize the 1:1's to give constructive criticism. Ask your wife to express how she feels. Also ask her her manager's assesment. Is this happening only to your wife or others in team too? Its easy to pick your wife's side. May be there is an issue from her side too. Do an self-assessment there as well.

Express below during 1:1

- I feel disrespected the way I am treated. 

 - I am new to the technology. I am learning and putting in my best efforts. I can't be an expert in a day. Its a process and will take time. Ask her manager what the expectations are from her for the job. 

 - Having an honest conversation is the best way. Making her an ally is better than making her an enemy. If not 1:1, take her out for lunch and have this conversation. 

Important thing is to express how your wife feels. May be it will change her. Give her a chance. If things do not improve or become worse, escalation is the only way. Reach out to next level manager. If multiple people are experiencing the same, go as a group to next level manager. Final stop is HR.

Mast cheppinave

[Konebhar6]

3 hours ago, Tellugodu said:

Does desi’s are considered minority in your office? 

If a team has all whites and 1 desi, any action taken against him is considered sensitive. Like wise 1 gora in a team of all desis. I girl in a team of all men, etc. 

[Konebhar6]

1 hour ago, veerigadu said:

desi managers idhi common vayya....Management antee adhedhooo ego trip laaa untadhi yevvaram. memu thopuuu ani feel aytharuuu mana desi tejalu..... She wont change. Ask your wife to change team. If that is a possibility. Simple.....

Desis too are learning the nuances of management and have come a long way. 
Agree on first time managers, some can behave this way. But they will learn, else will be forced to learn the hard way ( getting fired).

[Konebhar6]

1 hour ago, zamoora_rules said:

Well, I have seen this type of behavior from south managers too.. and not trying to bring out any regional differences here.

I strongly believe that many managers are akin to such behavior due to their past experiences in getting things done in their previous projects. Unfortunately, knowing or unknowingly that behavior gets imbibed, and they think it’s normal for them to express that way in other workplaces too.  

Sadly, I’m seeing the same type of behavior in many others too off late. The good old days of office work culture don’t exist any longer and it's just a race now to reach the pinnacle. Hmm...

Our company 10 yrs back there were 1-2 Desi managers. Now almost >70% are desis including director positions. Many have good reputation and are doing excellent. They have learnt, adapted.

It’s not about south or north desis. It’s about their personality. It’s about backing the team during pressure, giving credit to them on success, taking responsibility on failure, guiding/mentoring them, etc. 

Desis have personality issues. Our behavioral response to stress, conflict is very bad. A team that has Desi team member, there are too many issues between team members and most are silly. They openly talk salaries, bonus, etc. 

There are incidents where a Desi asked his manager that he needs 10% increase in salary coz he is buying a home in expensive area and needs means to do so. Asking for hike is not a problem, but the reason is silly.

Instead of always complaining, we all need to do introspection and see how we need to change ourselves too.

[Konebhar6]

3 hours ago, phatposts said:

ento ee issues anni wives ke vastayi. 

Endurante, manam adjust avtham or evening 2 pegs vestham or share with friends and take out stress. 
 

Women usually don’t do any of these. Also they are sensitive. So they went their frustration on us.

[zamoora_rules]

41 minutes ago, Konebhar6 said:

Our company 10 yrs back there were 1-2 Desi managers. Now almost >70% are desis including director positions. Many have good reputation and are doing excellent. They have learnt, adapted.

It’s not about south or north desis. It’s about their personality. It’s about backing the team during pressure, giving credit to them on success, taking responsibility on failure, guiding/mentoring them, etc. 

Desis have personality issues. Our behavioral response to stress, conflict is very bad. A team that has Desi team member, there are too many issues between team members and most are silly. They openly talk salaries, bonus, etc. 

There are incidents where a Desi asked his manager that he needs 10% increase in salary coz he is buying a home in expensive area and needs means to do so. Asking for hike is not a problem, but the reason is silly.

Instead of always complaining, we all need to do introspection and see how we need to change ourselves too.

I agree on most of your comments..but I have to tip my hat to that desi guy for being genuine in his request 🙂 

[Konebhar6]

2 minutes ago, zamoora_rules said:

I agree on most of your comments..but I have to tip my hat to that desi guy for being genuine in his request 🙂 

Haha. He should have asked, I need to make more money. What do I need to do to get promoted, bottom-line I need to make more money for my family. My expenses are increasing. 

Or that he is doing good work and does not think the increment he is getting is in proportion to the value he is giving to the company. 

[Bulls_Rose]

56 minutes ago, Konebhar6 said:

Our company 10 yrs back there were 1-2 Desi managers. Now almost >70% are desis including director positions. Many have good reputation and are doing excellent. They have learnt, adapted.

It’s not about south or north desis. It’s about their personality. It’s about backing the team during pressure, giving credit to them on success, taking responsibility on failure, guiding/mentoring them, etc. 

Desis have personality issues. Our behavioral response to stress, conflict is very bad. A team that has Desi team member, there are too many issues between team members and most are silly. They openly talk salaries, bonus, etc. 

There are incidents where a Desi asked his manager that he needs 10% increase in salary coz he is buying a home in expensive area and needs means to do so. Asking for hike is not a problem, but the reason is silly.

Instead of always complaining, we all need to do introspection and see how we need to change ourselves too.

common man you say its just silly. its lowest of low for work environment...

i hope this crap never spread to any companey other than witches  

[Konebhar6]

5 minutes ago, Bulls_Rose said:

common man you say its just silly. its lowest of low for work environment...

i hope this crap never spread to any companey other than witches  

You will be surprised with how many people think this way or give similar reasons. Why is my salary less that some other person in a different team in the company. They do not realize, they are not supposed to know others salaries and even the manager cannot company or look up the salary of the other person in a different team. 

[lollilolli2020]

9 minutes ago, Konebhar6 said:

You will be surprised with how many people think this way or give similar reasons. Why is my salary less that some other person in a different team in the company. They do not realize, they are not supposed to know others salaries and even the manager cannot company or look up the salary of the other person in a different team. 

of course; but there has been a debate with salary transparency too. if companies are discreet about salaries; how does that work. 

for example: say company hired A as a new grad with X amount of salary and after 3 yrs he is getting Y amount. 
now they hired B with Y amount (coz lot of things changed, salary adjusted to inflation types), is it fair on the company part ??

this thing happens in witch, ikkadi recruits ki ekkuva istaru but the ones imported from India on H1B sub par pay. 

now more and more states are bringing salary transparency laws; will it not affect the attrition rate; 
if company puts up an ad saying for a position with X amount of salary and to a comparable level I am getting lower salary; how will it motivate me to stay and perform better. 

[snakebabu]

13 hours ago, Prasthaanam said:

Wife koncham sad ga untundhi. Endhuku ani enquire chesthe, kothaga vachina valla boss meetings lo arrogancy chuspisthundhi , mari bossy gaa maatladuthundhi ani cheppindhi.

Nenu friday work from home chesi valla meeting lo pakkana kurchoni vinnanu… meeting laa ledhu adhi, interrogation chesthundhi.. 

niku idhi kuda telidha? ,

dont talk to me in technical terms ani arusthu maatladuthundhi.. kotha technology itcharu wife ki… full time job.. 

how to handle this without escalation? 

 

 

HR ki complain cheyadame.

[phatposts]

1 hour ago, Konebhar6 said:

Endurante, manam adjust avtham or evening 2 pegs vestham or share with friends and take out stress. 
 

Women usually don’t do any of these. Also they are sensitive. So they went their frustration on us.

100% agreed. 

[Konebhar6]

22 minutes ago, lollilolli2020 said:

of course; but there has been a debate with salary transparency too. if companies are discreet about salaries; how does that work. 

for example: say company hired A as a new grad with X amount of salary and after 3 yrs he is getting Y amount. 
now they hired B with Y amount (coz lot of things changed, salary adjusted to inflation types), is it fair on the company part ??

this thing happens in witch, ikkadi recruits ki ekkuva istaru but the ones imported from India on H1B sub par pay. 

now more and more states are bringing salary transparency laws; will it not affect the attrition rate; 
if company puts up an ad saying for a position with X amount of salary and to a comparable level I am getting lower salary; how will it motivate me to stay and perform better. 

Most US companies have salary ranges and grades. While recruiting, HR tries to hire a person at a salary which is below or at Median.

Lets say market is bad, candidate has no negotiating power, he settles at X salary.

Another person Y joined when market was excellent with all negotiating power and the manager/company was desperate to hire. He was hired into a different team with X+20% salary. 

X is not happy when he learnt Y's salary. First of all X should not discuss salary with Y. X goes to his manager and tells this. 

Now X's Manager does not have access to Y's salary to validate. He cannot even go to HR and ask this. If Y was with in his team, its the managers responsibility to reduce the gap as much as possible. What can X manager do now?

Its not a fair world.