ManOnFire Posted July 23, 2012 Author Report Posted July 23, 2012 Caller (enquiring about legal requirements while travelling in France ): 'If I register my car in France , do I have to change the steering wheel to the other side of the car?'
ManOnFire Posted July 23, 2012 Author Report Posted July 23, 2012 Directory Enquiries Caller: 'I'd like the number of the Argoed Fish Bar in Cardiff please'. Operator: 'I'm , there's no listing. Is the spelling correct?' Caller: 'Well, it used to be called the Bargoed Fish Bar but the 'B' fell off'.
ManOnFire Posted July 23, 2012 Author Report Posted July 23, 2012 On another occasion, a man making heavy breathing sounds from a phone box told a worried operator: 'I haven't got a pen, so I'm steaming up the window to write the number on'.
ManOnFire Posted July 23, 2012 Author Report Posted July 23, 2012 Tech Support: 'I need you to right-click on the Open Desktop'. Customer: 'OK'. Tech Support: 'Did you get a pop-up menu?'. Customer: 'No'. Tech Support: 'OK. Right-Click again. Do you see a pop-up menu?' Customer: 'No'. Tech Support: 'OK, sir. Can you tell me what you have done up until this point?'. Customer: 'Sure. You told me to write 'click' and I wrote 'click''.
ManOnFire Posted July 23, 2012 Author Report Posted July 23, 2012 Tech Support: 'OK. In the bottom left hand side of the screen, can you see the 'OK' button displayed?' Customer: 'Wow. How can you see my screen from there?' -------------------------------------------------------------------
ManOnFire Posted July 23, 2012 Author Report Posted July 23, 2012 Caller: 'I deleted a file from my PC last week and I have just realised that I need it. If I turn my system clock back two weeks will I have my file back again?'.
ManOnFire Posted July 23, 2012 Author Report Posted July 23, 2012 There's always one. This has got to be one of the funniest things in a long time. I think this guy should have been promoted, not fired. This is a true story from the Word Perfect Helpline, which was transcribed from a recording monitoring the customer care department. Needless to say the Help Desk employee was fired; however, he/she is currently suing the Word Perfect organization for 'Termination without Cause'. Actual dialogue of a former WordPerfect Customer Support employee. (Now I know why they record these conversations!): Operator: 'Ridge Hall, computer assistance; may I help you?' Caller: 'Yes, well, I'm having trouble with WordPerfect.' Operator: 'What sort of trouble??' Caller: 'Well, I was just typing along, and all of a sudden the words went away.' Operator: 'Went away?' Caller: 'They disappeared.' Operator: 'Hmm So what does your screen look like now?' Caller: 'Nothing.' Operator: 'Nothing??' Caller: 'It's blank; it won't accept anything when I type.' Operator: 'Are you still in WordPerfect, or did you get out??' Caller: 'How do I tell?' Operator: 'Can you see the C: prompt on the screen??' Caller: 'What's a sea-prompt?' Operator: 'Never mind, can you move your cursor around the screen?' Caller: 'There isn't any cursor: I told you, it won't accept anything I type.' Operator: 'Does your monitor have a power indicator??' Caller: 'What's a monitor?' Operator: 'It's the thing with the screen on it that looks like a TV. Does it have a little light that tells you when it's on??' Caller: 'I don't know.' Operator: 'Well, then look on the back of the monitor and find where the power cord goes into it. Can you see that??' Caller: 'Yes, I think so.' Operator: 'Great. Follow the cord to the plug, and tell me if it's plugged into the wall. Caller: 'Yes, it is.' Operator: 'When you were behind the monitor, did you notice that there were two cables plugged into the back of it, not just one??' Caller: 'No.' Operator: 'Well, there are. I need you to look back there again and find the other cable.' Caller: 'Okay, here it is.' Operator: 'Follow it for me, and tell me if it's plugged securely into the back of your computer.' Caller: 'I can't reach.' Operator: 'Uh huh. Well, can you see if it is??' Caller: 'No.' Operator: 'Even if you maybe put your knee on something and lean way over??' Caller: 'Oh, it's not because I don't have the right angle - it's because it's dark.' Operator: 'Dark??' Caller: 'Yes - the office light is off, and the only light I have is coming in from the window. Operator: 'Well, turn on the office light then.' Caller: 'I can't.' Operator: 'No? Why not??' Caller: 'Because there's a power failure.' Operator: 'A power......... A power failure? Aha, Okay, we've got it licked now. Do you still have the boxes and manuals and packing stuff your computer came in??' Caller: 'Well, yes, I keep them in the closet.' Operator: 'Good. Go get them, and unplug your system and pack it up just like it was when you got it. Then take it back to the store you bought it from.' Caller: 'Really? Is it that bad?' Operator: 'Yes, I'm afraid it is.' Caller: 'Well, all right then, I suppose. What do I tell them??' Operator: 'Tell them you're too f --- ing stupid to own a computer!!!!!
ManOnFire Posted July 23, 2012 Author Report Posted July 23, 2012 Main Kabhii Batlata Nahin Bar main dailyy jaata Hoon Main Maa ... Yun To Main,Dikhlata Nahin Daru peekar roz aata hun Main Maa .... Tujhe Sab Hai Pata, Hain Na Maa... Tujhe Sab Hai Pata, Meri Maa... Theke pe Yun Na Chhoro Mujhe , Ghar Laut Ke Bhi Aa Naa Paoon Main Maa... Pau lene Bhej Na Itna Door Mujko Tu, Ghar bhi bhool jaun main Maa... Kya Itna Bura Hoon Main Maa... Kya Itna Bura...Meri Maa.. Scotch main ,itna peeta nahi, Peg Se Seham Jaata Hoon Main Maa Chehre Pe Aane Deta Nahin Lekin kabhii ludak jaata Hoon Main Maa Tujhe Sab Hai Pata...Hai Naa Maa Tujhe Sab Hai Pata, Meri Maa ... Every glass is special…..
ManOnFire Posted July 23, 2012 Author Report Posted July 23, 2012 Boy: Yes. At last. It was so hard to wait. Girl: Do you want me to leave? Boy: NO! Don't even think about it. Girl: Do you love me? Boy: Of course! Over and over! Girl: Have you ever cheated on me? Boy: NO! Why are you even asking? Girl: Will you kiss me? Boy: Every chance I get! Girl: Will you hit me? Boy: Are you crazy! I'm not that kind of person! Girl: Can I trust you? Boy: Yes. Girl: Darling! [b]After marriage - - - simply read from bottom to top [img]http://www.telugutorrents.net/forum/images/smilies/tongue.gif[/img][/b]
ManOnFire Posted July 23, 2012 Author Report Posted July 23, 2012 [b][color="Red"]The Wrinkled Nightgown[/color][/b] A man and wife were celebrating their 50-year anniversary, so the man bought his wife a $250 see-through nightgown. Later that night she was getting ready for bed and realized the nightgown was still in the box downstairs. Walking naked through the house, she passed her husband who said, "My word, for $250 they could've at least ironed it!"
ManOnFire Posted July 23, 2012 Author Report Posted July 23, 2012 [color="Red"][b]Little Johnny was at football practice one day and the coach said "Who here thinks they can jump higher than the goal posts" Immediately little Johnny said, "Ooh me sir me" The coach then said, "But Johnny you are the worst in the team!" Then Johnny said, "I know, but goalposts can’t jump!"[/b][/color]
ManOnFire Posted July 23, 2012 Author Report Posted July 23, 2012 [color="Blue"][b]One day, a Mechanical Engineer, Electrical Engineer, Chemical Engineer and Computer Engineer were driving down the street in the same car. All of a sudden, the car broke down. The Mechanical Engineer said, "I think a rod broke." The Chemical Engineer said, "The way it sputtered at the end, I don't think it's getting gas." The Electrical Engineer said, "I think there was a spark and something is wrong with the electrical system." All three turned to the computer engineer and said, "What do you think?" The Computer Engineer said, "I think we should all get out and get back in."[/b][/color]
ManOnFire Posted July 23, 2012 Author Report Posted July 23, 2012 [b]Three men are in a hot-air balloon. Soon, they find themselves lost in a canyon somewhere. One of the three men says, "I have an idea. We can call for help in this canyon and the echo will carry our voices far enough for someone to hear us." So he leans over the basket and yells out, "Helllloooooo! Where are we?" (They hear the echo several times). 15 minutes later, the men in the balloon hear an echoing voice: "Helllloooooo! You're lost!!" One of the men says, "That must be a Microsoft service tech!" Puzzled, one of the other men asks, "Why do you say that?" The man replies: "For three reasons: (1) he took a long time to answer, (2) he was absolutely correct, and (3) his answer was absolutely useless."[/b]
ManOnFire Posted July 23, 2012 Author Report Posted July 23, 2012 A new teacher was trying to make use of her psychology courses. She started her class by saying, "Everyone who thinks you're stupid, stand up!" After a few seconds, Little Johnny stood up. The teacher said, "Do you think you're stupid, Little Johnny?" "No, ma'am, but I hate to see you standing there all by yourself!"
ManOnFire Posted July 23, 2012 Author Report Posted July 23, 2012 A teacher asked little Johnny if he knows his 1 to 10 well "Yes! Of course! My pop taught me...even more than 10" "Good. What comes after three?” "Four," answers the boy. "What comes after six?" "Seven." "Very good," says the teacher. "Your erm...dad did a good job. Now...so what comes after...lets say ten?" "A jack"
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