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ManOnFire

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My mother-in-law was bitten by a mad dog in the street."
"Oh, that's terrible !"
"Yes, it was terrible to watch the dog die slowly in convulsions."

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A little boy asked his mother, "Mummy, am I descended from a monkey?"
The mother replied, "I don t know, son, I never met your father's folks."

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A sign was place at the entrance of the large machinery plant.
It said "Warning to young ladies: if u wear loose clothes, beware of the machinery. If u wear tight clothes, beware of the machinist."

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Aaj Tak gets news that 100 sardars are killed in a train accident at Amritsar station. Only one sardar left alive.


The correspondent goes to him and asks, Sardarji how did it happen?


Sardar: oh ji pucho mat.. sab kuch sahi tha sab log platform par khade gaadi ki wait kar rahe they. Achanak announcement hui ki shatabdee express 2 no. platform par aa rahi hai . Jaise hi sab ne suna ki gaddi PLATFORM PAR aa rahi hai, sab log apni jaan bachane ke liye patri par kood gaye. Aur tabhii gaddi patri par aa gayi.


Aaj tak: Thank god. Aap ne samajhdari dikhayee . Aap patri par nahin koode.


Sardar: oe nahin ji main to suicide karne ki iye patri par hi leta tha . Jaise hi announcement hui main to platform par chad gaya.

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[quote name='ManOnFire' timestamp='1344437246' post='1302275671']
Never laugh at your wife's choices

Never laugh at your wife's choices
You are one of them

Never be proud of your choices
Your wife is one of them
[/quote]
[img]https://lh4.googleusercontent.com/-hKkPLh-x57c/TZyTeFYvSeI/AAAAAAAAB94/SC3_eFRZWlg/s180/RCT-46.gif[/img]

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Santa walked up to the front desk of the library and said, "I borrowed a book last week, but it was the most boring I've ever read. There was no story whatsoever, and there were far too many characters!"
The Librarian replied, "oh, you must be the person who took our phone book."

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My mother-in-law was bitten by a mad dog in the street."
"Oh, that's terrible !"
"Yes, it was terrible to watch the dog die slowly in convulsions."

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A little boy asked his mother, "Mummy, am I descended from a monkey?"
The mother replied, "I don t know, son, I never met your father's folks."

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A sign was place at the entrance of the large machinery plant.
It said "Warning to young ladies: if u wear loose clothes, beware of the machinery. If u wear tight clothes, beware of the machinist."

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Q: What will Santa do if he wants an additional white sheet of paper ? (he already has one and he wants one more..)
A: He takes a photcopy of the white paper

Q: What will Santa do after taking photocopies ?
A: He will compare it with the original for spelling mistakes!!

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Two cannibals were crossing a bridge. It was narrow, high, and somewhat slippery.
The male cannibal asked gallantly, "May I offer you my arm?"
The female answered, " No thanks...I had breakfast."

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