ManOnFire Posted August 12, 2012 Author Report Posted August 12, 2012 Sailor (reading from book of facts): "Do you know that every time I breathe a man dies?" Banta: "Why don't you use a mouth wash?"
ManOnFire Posted August 12, 2012 Author Report Posted August 12, 2012 After a quarrel, a wife said to her husband, "You know, I was a fool when I married you." And the husband replied, "Yes, dear, but I was in love and didn't notice it"
ManOnFire Posted August 12, 2012 Author Report Posted August 12, 2012 Son: Daddy, have you ever been to Egypt? Father: No. Why do you ask that? Son: Well, where did you get mummy then?
ManOnFire Posted August 12, 2012 Author Report Posted August 12, 2012 A couple were sitting in the living room watching TV when the phone rang. Husband picked it up, listened for a minute then screamed, "How the hell would I know? Call the weather bureau!" Wife: "What was that all about?" Husband replied, "Aw, it was just some dumb dork wanting to know if the coast was clear"
ManOnFire Posted August 12, 2012 Author Report Posted August 12, 2012 Banta goes up to a policeman and asks, "Excuse me, officer, but did you know that my wife has had an affair?" The policeman, surprised, "No! I didn't know" Banta breathed deeply, exclaiming, "So I'm not the last one to know after all"
ManOnFire Posted August 12, 2012 Author Report Posted August 12, 2012 Santa is driving down a road and sees a sign that says, "Watch for Fallen Rocks." A few kilometres later, he sees some rocks at the side of the road, so he stops and picks them up. When he gets to the next town, he carries the rocks into the Highway Maintenance office and puts them on the counter. "Here are your fallen rocks," he says to the man behind the counter. "Now where is my watch?"
ManOnFire Posted August 12, 2012 Author Report Posted August 12, 2012 Jeeto: You say I look old but people still praise me. Santa: It must be Banta. Jeeto: How do you know? Santa: He is a SCRAP DEALER
ManOnFire Posted August 12, 2012 Author Report Posted August 12, 2012 Patient: Doctor, Doctor, everyone keeps ignoring me Doc: Next please
ManOnFire Posted August 12, 2012 Author Report Posted August 12, 2012 Q: Why did the blonde buy a brown cow? A: To get chocolate milk"
ManOnFire Posted August 12, 2012 Author Report Posted August 12, 2012 My old aunts used to come up to me at weddings, poking me in the ribs and cackling, telling me, "You're next!" They stopped after I started doing the same thing to them at funerals
ManOnFire Posted August 12, 2012 Author Report Posted August 12, 2012 A mobile is like a woman- talks non-stop, costs a fortune, disturbs when you are busy and when you need it urgently-there is no service!
ManOnFire Posted August 12, 2012 Author Report Posted August 12, 2012 Teacher: "George Washington not only chopped down his father's Cherry tree, but also admitted doing it. Now do you know why his father didn't punish him?" One Student: "Because George still had the axe in his hand"
ManOnFire Posted August 12, 2012 Author Report Posted August 12, 2012 [b] 132 user(s) are reading this topic[/b] [color=#777777][size=3] 1 members, 112 guests, 0 anonymous users[/size][/color] [list] ManOnFire, Facebook, Google [/list]
ManOnFire Posted August 12, 2012 Author Report Posted August 12, 2012 Q: Why did Santa throw the butter out the window? A: He wanted to see a butterfly
ManOnFire Posted August 12, 2012 Author Report Posted August 12, 2012 Two men were discussing a new novel. Finally one of them, a writer, said, “You can’t really criticize this book since you’ve never written anything yourself.” “So, what? Said the other, “I’ve never laid an egg either, but I can criticize an omelet better than a hen can"
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