ManOnFire Posted August 12, 2012 Author Report Posted August 12, 2012 • One night a school boy came home rather depressed. "What's the matter, son? asked his father. "Bad news, Dad" said the boy. "It's my grades. They are all wet." "What do you mean by 'all wet'?" "Below C-level," replied the son
ManOnFire Posted August 12, 2012 Author Report Posted August 12, 2012 Museum administrator: That's a 500 year old statue you've broken. Santa: Thank God! I thought it was a new one!
ManOnFire Posted August 12, 2012 Author Report Posted August 12, 2012 Q: Did you hear about the Chinese couple that had a retarded baby? A: They named him Sum Ting Wong
ManOnFire Posted August 12, 2012 Author Report Posted August 12, 2012 Waiter, what is this stuff? That's bean salad sir. I know what it's been, but what is it now?
ManOnFire Posted August 12, 2012 Author Report Posted August 12, 2012 Q: What did the big chimney say to the little chimney? A: You are too young to mamaa_mass
ManOnFire Posted August 12, 2012 Author Report Posted August 12, 2012 Q. What's the difference between people who pray in church and those who pray in casinos? A. The ones in the casinos are serious
ManOnFire Posted August 12, 2012 Author Report Posted August 12, 2012 Two programmers walk along the street. The first says to another one, " Listen, people say that the software for a new american invisible plane, "Stealth-2" will be worked out by Microsoft" The secondm, " I think it is connected with the fact that a new plane must know how to hang up in the air "
ManOnFire Posted August 12, 2012 Author Report Posted August 12, 2012 "Honey, when we get married, I'll be there to share all your troubles and sorrows." "But I don't have any, my love." "I said, when we get married"
ManOnFire Posted August 12, 2012 Author Report Posted August 12, 2012 Women are confusing... Before marriage they expect a man, after marriage they suspect a man, after he dies they respect the man
ManOnFire Posted August 12, 2012 Author Report Posted August 12, 2012 Life Insurance Agent: Don't let me frighten you into a decision. Sleep on it tonight, and if you wake up in the morning, let me know what you think
ManOnFire Posted August 12, 2012 Author Report Posted August 12, 2012 1st thief, "Police! Quick! jump out of the window!" 2nd thief, "But this is the 13th floor" 1st: "Hurry! This is no time to be superstitious"
ManOnFire Posted August 12, 2012 Author Report Posted August 12, 2012 Santa stepped on one of those scales that tell fortune and weight, and dropped in a coin. "Listen," he said to Jeeto, showing her a small, white card, "It says I'm energetic, bright, resourceful and a great husband." Jeeto, "And it has your weight wrong, too"
ManOnFire Posted August 12, 2012 Author Report Posted August 12, 2012 [b][color="Red"]American: In our country, marriage even takes place with email. Santa: In India, it is only with female[/color][/b]
ManOnFire Posted August 12, 2012 Author Report Posted August 12, 2012 The prospective father-in-law asked, "Young man, can you support a family?" The surprised groom-to-be replied, "Well, no. I was just planning to support your daughter. The rest of you will have to fend for yourselves."
ManOnFire Posted August 12, 2012 Author Report Posted August 12, 2012 During a sermon our pastor stated that money wasn't important in the afterlife, because in heaven, there is no money. I overheard a poor kid whisper to his mother, "Did you hear that, Mom? We're already in heaven."
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