ManOnFire Posted August 12, 2012 Author Report Posted August 12, 2012 Tension happens in brain and love is felt in heart. Then why do people get heart attack when they are tensed and why people get mad when they are in love?
ManOnFire Posted August 12, 2012 Author Report Posted August 12, 2012 A lawyer was filling out a job application when he came to the question, "Have you ever been arrested?" He answered, "No." The next question, intended for people who had answered "yes" in the last question, was "Why?" The lawyer answered it anyway: "Never got caught."
ManOnFire Posted August 12, 2012 Author Report Posted August 12, 2012 A little boy was taken to the dentist. It was discovered that he had a cavity that would have to be filled. "Now, young man," asked the dentist, "what kind of filling would you like for that tooth?" "Chocolate, please," replied the youngster.
ManOnFire Posted August 12, 2012 Author Report Posted August 12, 2012 A guy walks into a bar and notices three men and a dog playing poker. The dog is playing beautifully. "Thats a smart dog," the man says. "Not really," says one of the players. "Every time he gets a good hand, he wags his tail."
ManOnFire Posted August 12, 2012 Author Report Posted August 12, 2012 At a hospital looking through the window at the newly arrived babies a father says, "Kitchy kitchy koo. Look, she smiled! Isn't she adorable?" His friend says, "But your kid didn't smile." The father replies, "I was talking about the nurse"
ManOnFire Posted August 12, 2012 Author Report Posted August 12, 2012 "Doctor, Doctor, You've got to help me - I just can't stop my hands shaking!" "Do you drink a lot?" "Not really - I spill most of it!"
ManOnFire Posted August 12, 2012 Author Report Posted August 12, 2012 A man pulls up to the curb and asks the policeman, "Can I park here?" "No," says the cop. "What about all these other cars?" "They didn't ask"
ManOnFire Posted August 12, 2012 Author Report Posted August 12, 2012 One day this black guy walks into a bar with this exotic, colorful parrot on his shoulder. The man orders a beer and bartender asks, "Wow. That incredible. Were did you get him?" And the parrot cocks his head back and says, "Africa man, Africa! Their all over the place!"
ManOnFire Posted August 12, 2012 Author Report Posted August 12, 2012 While filling out an employment application, a man paused over this question: "Person to notify in case of an accident." Finally he wrote, "Anybody in sight."
ManOnFire Posted August 12, 2012 Author Report Posted August 12, 2012 Q: What do fat women and mopeds have in common? A: They both are fun to ride, but you don't want your friends to see either one!
ManOnFire Posted August 12, 2012 Author Report Posted August 12, 2012 After a deep passionate kiss, the girl whispers to the guy, " Kiss me like that once more and I will be yours forever!" The guy exclaims, " Thanks for the warning!"
ManOnFire Posted August 12, 2012 Author Report Posted August 12, 2012 If you cross a chicken with a zebra you get a four legged dinner with a barcode.
ManOnFire Posted August 12, 2012 Author Report Posted August 12, 2012 Little Billy is approached by the lifeguard at the public swimming pool. "You're not allowed to pee in the pool," said the lifeguard. "But everyone pees in the pool," said Billy. "Maybe," said the lifeguard, "but not from the diving board!"
ManOnFire Posted August 12, 2012 Author Report Posted August 12, 2012 An old man goes to a gypsy to ask him if he can remove a curse he's been living with for 40 years. The gypsy says, "Maybe, but you'll have to tell me the exact words that were used to put the curse on you." The old man says without hesitation, "I now pronounce you man and wife."
ManOnFire Posted August 12, 2012 Author Report Posted August 12, 2012 Q: Why is Christmas just like a day at the office? A: You do all the work and the fat guy in the suit gets all the credit!
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