ManOnFire Posted August 12, 2012 Author Report Posted August 12, 2012 "How was your blind date?" a college student asked her roommate. "Terrible!" the roommate answered. "He showed up in his 1932 Rolls Royce." "Wow! That's a very expensive car. What's so bad about that?" "He was the original owner."
ManOnFire Posted August 12, 2012 Author Report Posted August 12, 2012 Five-year-old girl was asked by her teacher what her father does, and she replied, "Whatever my Mom tells him to."
ManOnFire Posted August 12, 2012 Author Report Posted August 12, 2012 A woman drove a mini-van filled with a dozen screaming kids through the mall parking lot, looking for a space. Obviously frazzled, she coasted through a stop sign. "Hey, lady, have you forgotten how to stop?" yelled an irate man. She rolled down her window and yelled back, "What makes you think these are all mine?"
ManOnFire Posted August 12, 2012 Author Report Posted August 12, 2012 [b]A doctor is talking to a car mechanic, "Your fee is several times more per hour then we get paid for medical care." "Yeah, but you see, you have always the same model, it hasn't changed since Adam; but we have to keep up to date with new models coming every month."[/b]
ManOnFire Posted August 12, 2012 Author Report Posted August 12, 2012 Man: I want a divorce. My wife hasn't spoken to me in six months. Lawyer: Better think it over. Wives like that are hard to get!!
ManOnFire Posted August 12, 2012 Author Report Posted August 12, 2012 A salesman, tired of his job, gave it up to become a policeman. Several months later, a friend asked him how he liked his new role. "Well," he replied, "the pay is good and the hours aren't bad, but what I like best is that the customer is always wrong."
ManOnFire Posted August 12, 2012 Author Report Posted August 12, 2012 The boss called the whole staff in to listen to a couple of jokes he had picked up. Everybody, but one girl laughed uproariously. "What's the matter?" grumbled the boss. "Haven't you got a sense of humor?" "I don't have to laugh," she replied. "I'm leaving Friday."
ManOnFire Posted August 12, 2012 Author Report Posted August 12, 2012 Height of possesiveness: Constipation !
ManOnFire Posted August 12, 2012 Author Report Posted August 12, 2012 Height of honesty: Pregnant woman paying 1.5 times the fare.
ManOnFire Posted August 12, 2012 Author Report Posted August 12, 2012 Several women appeared in court, each accusing the other of the trouble in the flat where they lived. The judge called for orderly testimony. "I'll hear the oldest first," he decreed. The case was closed for lack of evidence.
ManOnFire Posted August 12, 2012 Author Report Posted August 12, 2012 A recruit who wasn't really meant to be a soldier went out to the rifle range for the first time. He missed every target and most of the hills behind them. Despondent, he said to the sergeant, "I think I'll just go and shoot myself." The sergeant said, "Better take a couple of extra bullets!"
ManOnFire Posted August 12, 2012 Author Report Posted August 12, 2012 Height of Patriotism: U sitting on an English toilet in Indian style
ManOnFire Posted August 12, 2012 Author Report Posted August 12, 2012 Doctor: your husband needs rest and peace. Here are some sleeping pills. Wife: When must I give them to him? Doctor: They are for you.
ManOnFire Posted August 12, 2012 Author Report Posted August 12, 2012 Q: What happens when a blonde gets Alzheimers disease? A: Her IQ goes up.
ManOnFire Posted August 12, 2012 Author Report Posted August 12, 2012 Q: What is the difference between a smart blonde and a UFO? A: There have been sightings of UFOs.
.thumb.jpg.ce42bb16ec102475a78c2087ce269c7d.jpg)
Recommended Posts