ManOnFire Posted August 12, 2012 Author Report Posted August 12, 2012 Q: How do you know if a blonde has been sending e-mail? A: You see a bunch of envelopes stuffed into the disk drive.
ManOnFire Posted August 12, 2012 Author Report Posted August 12, 2012 Q: How is an ear of corn like an army? A: It has lots of kernels.
ManOnFire Posted August 12, 2012 Author Report Posted August 12, 2012 "Now my grandfather, he knew the exact day of the year that he was going to die. It was the right year too. Not only that, but he knew what time he would die that day, and he was right about that too." "Wow, that's Incredible. How did he know all of that?" "A judge told him."
ManOnFire Posted August 12, 2012 Author Report Posted August 12, 2012 A psychiatrist says to his patient, "So, you say that you're happy to pay your taxes...And when did this start?"
ManOnFire Posted August 12, 2012 Author Report Posted August 12, 2012 A drunk got into a taxi and told the driver, "Take me to The Piccadely Hotel." The taxi driver turned round and said, "But we are at The Piccadely Hotel, we're parked right outside it." 'That's fine then, but next time, don't drive so fast!"
ManOnFire Posted August 12, 2012 Author Report Posted August 12, 2012 Jeeto was about to give birth to a baby. Santa: If it looks like you, it would be great. Jeeto: If it looks like you, it would be a miracle.
ManOnFire Posted August 12, 2012 Author Report Posted August 12, 2012 A morning dialogue: Banta, "Honey, you know when I shave in the morning I feel 10 years younger." Preeto, "But can you shave in the evening then?"
ManOnFire Posted August 12, 2012 Author Report Posted August 12, 2012 Two lawyers standing before an Irish judge got into a fierce argument. At last one lawyer lost his temper and shouted, "Sir you are the biggest fool that I have set eyes on." "Order, order," said the Irish judge. "You seem to forget that I am in the room."
ManOnFire Posted August 12, 2012 Author Report Posted August 12, 2012 God thought that since he couldn't b everywhere he made a mother. Then devil thought that he couldn't b everywhere he made a mother-in-law.
ManOnFire Posted August 12, 2012 Author Report Posted August 12, 2012 Q: Why did the tomato turned red? A: Because he saw the salad dressing.
ManOnFire Posted August 12, 2012 Author Report Posted August 12, 2012 What if you're in hell, and you're mad at someone, where do you tell them to go?
ManOnFire Posted August 12, 2012 Author Report Posted August 12, 2012 A teacher was asking her class what their fathers did. When she asked young Johnny, he said, "My father's dead, Miss." "Oh, I am , Johnny. In that case, what did he do before he died?" "He went blue and collapsed."
ManOnFire Posted August 12, 2012 Author Report Posted August 12, 2012 An American report: We crossed chickens with cows. The new breed simultaneously produces milk, meat and eggs. Report from France: We crossed flies and bees. The hybrid flies over the trash fields and produces honey. Report from Russia: We crossed a melon with cockroaches. When you cut this melon, seeds run away by themselves
ManOnFire Posted August 12, 2012 Author Report Posted August 12, 2012 Q: Why did the Santa put his finger over the nail when he was hammering? A: The noise gave him a headache.
ManOnFire Posted August 12, 2012 Author Report Posted August 12, 2012 Santa was drawing money from ATM. Banta, who was just behind him in the line said, "Ha! Ha! Haaa! I've seen ur password. Its 4 asterisks(****). Santa replies, "Ha! Ha! Ha! You are wrong. Its 1258."
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