ManOnFire Posted July 23, 2012 Author Report Posted July 23, 2012 [color="Red"][size="5"]First Class Blondie[/size][/color] [color="Blue"][size="4"]A beautiful young blond woman boards a plane to LA with a ticket for the coach section. She looks at the seats in coach and then looks ahead to the first class seats. Seeing that the first class seats appear to be much larger and more comfortable, she moves forward to the last empty one. The flight attendant checks her ticket and tells the woman that her seat is in coach. The blond replies, "I'm young, blond and beautiful, and I'm going to sit here all the way to LA." Flustered, the flight attendant goes to the cockpit and informs the captain of the blond problem. The captain goes back and tells the woman that her assigned seat is in coach. Again, the blond replies, "I'm young, blond and beautiful, and I'm going to sit here all the way to LA." The captain doesn't want to cause a commotion, and so returns to the cockpit to discuss the blond with the co-pilot. The co-pilot says that he has a blond girlfriend, and that he can take care of the problem. He then goes back and briefly whispers something into the blonde's ear. She immediately gets up, says, "Thank you so much," hugs the co-pilot, and rushes back to her seat in the coach section. The pilot and flight attendant, who were watching with rapt attention, together ask the co-pilot what he had said to the woman. He replies, "I just told her that the first class section isn't going to LA."[/size][/color]
ManOnFire Posted July 23, 2012 Author Report Posted July 23, 2012 [color="Red"][size="5"]Blonde and Waitress[/size][/color] [size="4"][color="Navy"]Q: What did the blond customer say after reading the buxom waitress' name tag? A: "'Debbie'...that's cute. What did you name the other one?''[/color][/size]
ManOnFire Posted July 23, 2012 Author Report Posted July 23, 2012 [b][color="RoyalBlue"][font="Tahoma"][size="4"]Boss : I am giving u job as a driver. STARTING salary Rs.2000/-, is it o.k Sardar : U R great sir! Starting salary is o.k.......but?? how much is DRIVING salary...? [/size][/font][/color][/b]
ManOnFire Posted July 23, 2012 Author Report Posted July 23, 2012 Man: Sardarji where were U born? Sardarji: Punjab. Man: Which part? Sardar: Oye part part kya kar raha hai, whole body Is born in Punjab Yaar ............ ......... ......... ......... ......... ..
ManOnFire Posted July 23, 2012 Author Report Posted July 23, 2012 A sardar was drawing money from ATM, The sardar behind him in the line said, "Ha! Ha! Haaa! I've seen ur password. Its 4 asterisks ***)." The first sardar replies, "Ha! Ha! Haaa! U R wrong, Its 1258"
ManOnFire Posted July 23, 2012 Author Report Posted July 23, 2012 Ek pathan ki behan ko daku utha kar le gaye, Sab ne kaha daku khatarnak hain khali haath mat jana behan ko bachane. Pathan 2 kilo mithayi le gaya. P
ManOnFire Posted July 23, 2012 Author Report Posted July 23, 2012 Neighbour to sardar: " Raat nu teri khirki khuli si, I enjoyed full scene u did with bhabhii". Sardar: "Ban gaya na pagal, main to raat ghar par tha he nahi".
ManOnFire Posted July 23, 2012 Author Report Posted July 23, 2012 A man went to visit a friend and was amazed to find him playing chess with his dog. He watched the game in astonishment for a while. "I can hardly believe my eyes!" he exclaimed. "That's the smartest dog I've ever seen." "Nah, he's not so smart," the friend replied. "I've beaten him three games out of five."
ManOnFire Posted July 23, 2012 Author Report Posted July 23, 2012 [color="Blue"][b]Shirts Off[/b][/color] [color="Red"]A woman sat on a plane heading for New York, when the pilot announces that because of difficulties with the plane's engines, he must make an emergency landing. The woman, fearing that this may be the end of her life looks over to a man sitting next to her and rips her shirt and bra off, and throws herself on him. "Make me feel like a woman again!" she screamed. So the man rips his shirt off and hands it to her. "Iron this."[/color]
ManOnFire Posted July 23, 2012 Author Report Posted July 23, 2012 Prince Charles & Sardarji were having dinner. Prince said, "Pass the wine you divine". Sardar thinks "how poetic" Sardar says, "pass the custard you bastard".
ManOnFire Posted July 23, 2012 Author Report Posted July 23, 2012 [b]Sardar at bar in New York. Man on his right says "Johny Walker single" Man on his left says "Peter Scotch single" Sardar says - "Baljith Singh Married" [/b]
ManOnFire Posted July 23, 2012 Author Report Posted July 23, 2012 The phone bill was exceptionally high and the man of the house called a family meeting... On a Saturday morning... after breakfast... Dad: People this is unacceptable. You have to limit the use of the phone. I do not use this phone, I use the one at the office. Mum: Same here, I hardly use this home telephone as I use my work telephone. Son: Me too, I never use the home phone. I always use my company mobile. Maid: So - what is the problem? We all use our work telephones !!!!!
ManOnFire Posted July 23, 2012 Author Report Posted July 23, 2012 [color="Blue"][b]Talk Dirty to Me[/b][/color] [color="Red"]What is it when a man talks dirty to a woman? Sexual harassment. What is it when a woman talks dirty to a man? $3.99 a minute.[/color]
ManOnFire Posted July 23, 2012 Author Report Posted July 23, 2012 [color="Red"][size="6"]Beer Brothers[/size][/color] [color="Blue"][size="4"]A man walks into a pub and says, "Give me three pints of Guinness, please." So the bartender brings him three pints and the man proceeds to alternately sip one, then the other, then the third until they're gone. He then orders three more and the bartender says, "Sir, I know you like them cold, so you can start with one and I'll bring you a fresh one as soon as you're low." The man says, "You don't understand. I have two brothers, one in Australia and one in the States. We made a vow to each other that every Saturday night we'd still drink together. So right now, my brothers have three Guinness Stouts too and we're drinking together." The bartender thinks it's a wonderful tradition and every week he sets up the guy's three beers as soon as he enters in the bar. Then one week, the man comes in and orders only two. He drinks them, then orders two more. The bartender sadly says, "Knowing your tradition, I'd just like to just say that I'm that one of your brothers died." The man replies, "Oh, my brothers are fine - I just quit drinking."[/size][/color]
ManOnFire Posted July 23, 2012 Author Report Posted July 23, 2012 [size="5"][color="Blue"]Bad Drivers[/color][/size] [size="3"][color="DarkRed"]There's a senior citizen driving on the highway. His wife calls him on his cell phone and in a worried voice says, ''Herman, be careful! I just heard on the radio that there was a madman driving the wrong way on Route 280!'' Herman says, ''I know, but there isn't just one, there are hundreds!''[/color][/size]
Recommended Posts