Desi - northie - woman - arrogant - boss

[Prasthaanam]

Wife koncham sad ga untundhi. Endhuku ani enquire chesthe, kothaga vachina valla boss meetings lo arrogancy chuspisthundhi , mari bossy gaa maatladuthundhi ani cheppindhi.

Nenu friday work from home chesi valla meeting lo pakkana kurchoni vinnanu… meeting laa ledhu adhi, interrogation chesthundhi.. 

niku idhi kuda telidha? ,

dont talk to me in technical terms ani arusthu maatladuthundhi.. kotha technology itcharu wife ki… full time job.. 

how to handle this without escalation? 

 

 

[yemdoing]

northie boss  and aa paina boss are also desis ?

 

[sarfaroshi2]

Ask her to ping her personally and tell that your wife is getting stressed out with the shoutings in the meetings and has never experienced it before...

Siggu sharam una ye manager ina change avtundi, if not inka next escalation ye

[LadiesTailor]

1 hour ago, Prasthaanam said:

Wife koncham sad ga untundhi. Endhuku ani enquire chesthe, kothaga vachina valla boss meetings lo arrogancy chuspisthundhi , mari bossy gaa maatladuthundhi ani cheppindhi.

Nenu friday work from home chesi valla meeting lo pakkana kurchoni vinnanu… meeting laa ledhu adhi, interrogation chesthundhi.. 

niku idhi kuda telidha? ,

dont talk to me in technical terms ani arusthu maatladuthundhi.. kotha technology itcharu wife ki… full time job.. 

how to handle this without escalation? 

 

 

Ask for A skip level meeting… boss ki boss tho matladamanu… direct mail chesi adagochu and it’s a process in FTE… adi work out avvakapote HR ki complaint…

maa team lo Oka lady complain chesindi maa boss meeda few years back.. HR vallu maa manager ni one year monitor chesaru… they came to every employee under my boss and interviewed us…. Harassment ni lite teesukovodhu adi personal ayuna emotional ayuna.. her boss need to know this well 

[Konebhar6]

2 hours ago, Prasthaanam said:

Wife koncham sad ga untundhi. Endhuku ani enquire chesthe, kothaga vachina valla boss meetings lo arrogancy chuspisthundhi , mari bossy gaa maatladuthundhi ani cheppindhi.

Nenu friday work from home chesi valla meeting lo pakkana kurchoni vinnanu… meeting laa ledhu adhi, interrogation chesthundhi.. 

niku idhi kuda telidha? ,

dont talk to me in technical terms ani arusthu maatladuthundhi.. kotha technology itcharu wife ki… full time job.. 

how to handle this without escalation? 

 

 

Utilize the 1:1's to give constructive criticism. Ask your wife to express how she feels. Also ask her her manager's assesment. Is this happening only to your wife or others in team too? Its easy to pick your wife's side. May be there is an issue from her side too. Do an self-assessment there as well.

Express below during 1:1

- I feel disrespected the way I am treated. 

 - I am new to the technology. I am learning and putting in my best efforts. I can't be an expert in a day. Its a process and will take time. Ask her manager what the expectations are from her for the job. 

 - Having an honest conversation is the best way. Making her an ally is better than making her an enemy. If not 1:1, take her out for lunch and have this conversation. 

Important thing is to express how your wife feels. May be it will change her. Give her a chance. If things do not improve or become worse, escalation is the only way. Reach out to next level manager. If multiple people are experiencing the same, go as a group to next level manager. Final stop is HR.

[Konebhar6]

30 minutes ago, LadiesTailor said:

Ask for A skip level meeting… boss ki boss tho matladamanu… direct mail chesi adagochu and it’s a process in FTE… adi work out avvakapote HR ki complaint…

maa team lo Oka lady complain chesindi maa boss meeda few years back.. HR vallu maa manager ni one year monitor chesaru… they came to every employee under my boss and interviewed us…. Harassment ni lite teesukovodhu adi personal ayuna emotional ayuna.. her boss need to know this well 

A lot of factors affect this. In my company HR does not take complaints seriously. They relay these back to the our CIO who manages IT. HR said, we need at least 4 complaints to look into this. Then they said they need 4 written complaints. 

However, if a minority person or a women complains its a different case esp if they are in very less number in the team. It could easily become a SUE situation for company. So they do act on the manager. 

[LadiesTailor]

1 minute ago, Konebhar6 said:

A lot of factors affect this. In my company HR does not take complaints seriously. They relay these back to the our CIO who manages IT. HR said, we need at least 4 complaints to look into this. Then they said they need 4 written complaints. 

However, if a minority person or a women complains its a different case esp if they are in very less number in the team. It could easily become a SUE situation for company. So they do act on the manager. 

Women complaint cheste chukkalu choopistaru management ki… 

[Konebhar6]

5 minutes ago, LadiesTailor said:

Women complaint cheste chukkalu choopistaru management ki… 

A situation in our company. Manager was not happy with a team member (male). They put him in PIP and he resigned. After a few years, there was a girl who is not good. He took to HR. But HR told him. We cant take action. She is the only women in the team and will be seen as targeting. 

[Peddayana]

I worked with one such person from another team, always used to be in 'Hostile' mode with everyone, I had to be extra diplomatic, sympathetic to that person to ensure that my work gets done by them and their team. 

anyway, for your situation, your wife has to give feedback during 1:1 that she is being extra harsh/rude, also document communications and abuse , so that if HR is involved later it will help your wife

 

[kittaya]

4 hours ago, Prasthaanam said:

Wife koncham sad ga untundhi. Endhuku ani enquire chesthe, kothaga vachina valla boss meetings lo arrogancy chuspisthundhi , mari bossy gaa maatladuthundhi ani cheppindhi.

Nenu friday work from home chesi valla meeting lo pakkana kurchoni vinnanu… meeting laa ledhu adhi, interrogation chesthundhi.. 

niku idhi kuda telidha? ,

dont talk to me in technical terms ani arusthu maatladuthundhi.. kotha technology itcharu wife ki… full time job.. 

how to handle this without escalation? 

 

 

Any mental trauma.. can sue the employer ... 

 

HR does take it very serious ... Because at the end of the day you are liability to the company

[summer27]

first of all, ask her to not stress out..this is not end of the world...show some confidence..and then if possible try record/document these conversations whenever, wherever possible, just in case situation escalate ayithe use cheskovachu..

[hotmaddy]

Same with my wife. Wife cheppindi vinnaka is he new to management ani adiga endukante ilane cheyyali alane cheyyali ani baaga immature anipinchindi. Linked in lo chusthe he is just promoted. Direct ga maatladu push him back ani cheppa. 2 days after boss's boss ni  copying on every small email. She also felt her boss is stealing credit for her work. Manager ki and boss's boss ki matter ardam ayyindi.

 

Skip level meeting lo wife said to the director that it's his fault for not training her manager correctly so please guide him ani cheppindi. Wife konchem unte undu pothe po ante type. Few months later she resigned to take care of personal things.

[Tellugodu]

5 hours ago, Konebhar6 said:

A lot of factors affect this. In my company HR does not take complaints seriously. They relay these back to the our CIO who manages IT. HR said, we need at least 4 complaints to look into this. Then they said they need 4 written complaints. 

However, if a minority person or a women complains its a different case esp if they are in very less number in the team. It could easily become a SUE situation for company. So they do act on the manager. 

Does desi’s are considered minority in your office? 

[phatposts]

ento ee issues anni wives ke vastayi. 

[LadiesTailor]

1 hour ago, Tellugodu said:

Does desi’s are considered minority in your office? 

Women does