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Random Jokes/one-Liners..


summer27

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[font="System,Helvetica"]A woman goes to a tattoo artist and have the letters 'BB' tattooed on her Butt.[/font]

[font="System,Helvetica"]When her husband gets home from work that night, she greets him by turning around, bending over, and lifting her dress to expose the artwork. "What do you think?" the wife says.[/font]

[font="System,Helvetica"]"Uh, who the hell is Bob?" the husband replies.[/font]

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[font="System,Helvetica"][size="2"]Three women were talking about their love lives.[/size][/font]
[font="System,Helvetica"][size="2"]The first said, "My husband is like a Rolls-Royce; smooth and sophisticated."[/size][/font]
[font="System,Helvetica"][size="2"]The second said, "Mine is like a Porsche; fast and powerful."[/size][/font]
[font="System,Helvetica"][size="2"]The third said, "Mine is like an old Chevy. It needs a hand start and I have to jump on while it's still going."[/size][/font]

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[font="System,Helvetica"][size="2"]A Couple went to super bowl after a very long time..[/size][/font]
[font="System,Helvetica"][size="2"]They arrive at the game and he's loving it. After about five minutes, his wife asks him if they can leave.[/size][/font]
[font="System,Helvetica"][size="2"]"Leave? We just got here! I've been wanting to go all my life," he replies.[/size][/font]
[font="System,Helvetica"][size="2"]"But honey, the guy next to me is masturbating," she says.[/size][/font]
[font="System,Helvetica"][size="2"]"Can't you just ignore him?"[/size][/font]
[font="System,Helvetica"][size="2"]"I tried, but he's using my hand."[/size][/font]

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[font="System,Helvetica"]A bloke comes rushing into the house shouting to his wife[/font]
[font="System,Helvetica"]"I've won the lottery, i've won the lottery!!"[/font]
[font="System,Helvetica"]His wife says "That's great news... what shall we do first?"[/font]
[font="System,Helvetica"]The guy says "Well.. i suggest you pack your bags first"[/font]
[font="System,Helvetica"]The wife says "Where are we going?"[/font]
[font="System,Helvetica"]The guy says "Well, you can go wherever you like, i just want you out of the house by tomorrow!"[/font]

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[font="System,Helvetica"]The composition teacher asked the class to write about an unusual event that happened during the past week. Little Johnny got up and read his essay. [/font]
[font="System,Helvetica"]It began, "Daddy fell into the well last week..." [/font]
[font="System,Helvetica"]"My goodness!" the teacher exclaimed. "Is he all right?" [/font]
[font="System,Helvetica"]"He must be," said the boy. "He stopped yelling for help yesterday[/font]

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[font=System,Helvetica]A guy says to his friend, "I can't remember if the doctor told me that
my wife has AIDS or Alzheimer's."[/font]
[font=System,Helvetica]His friend says, "Drive her to the other side of town. If she finds her way home, don't f*ck her."[/font]

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[quote name='mammamiya' timestamp='1336478853' post='1301755466']
[img]http://i872.photobucket.com/albums/ab288/sajja01/chitikelu-o.gif[/img]
[/quote]
[img]http://i1249.photobucket.com/albums/hh517/twinklebt/brahmiking.gif[/img]

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[color=#333333][font=HelveticaNeue,]Nurse to dumb sardar -Ur name?[/font][/color]
[color=#333333][font=HelveticaNeue,]Sardar signalled towards his penis! It was tattoed KARGIL there.[/font][/color]
[color=#333333][font=HelveticaNeue,]Nurse put her hand on it, and she could see the full name KARTAR SINGH GILL[/font][/color]

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[color=#333333][font=HelveticaNeue,]Women are known for only two things- COOKING & F*CKING. [/font][/color]
[color=#333333][font=HelveticaNeue,]No jokes! you never know whats COOKING in their minds & you will never know when they start F*CKING your happiness[/font][/color]

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[color=#333333][font=HelveticaNeue,]Dear Bank Authorities I don't understand why you attach chains to the PENS at the counter.[/font][/color]
[color=#333333][font=HelveticaNeue,]If i am trusting you with my money,you should trust me with your PENS[/font][/color]

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[color=#333333][font=HelveticaNeue,]Doordarshan: A family television network with a symbol 69[/font][/color]

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