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Posted

[color="DarkRed"][size="4"]Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers[/size][/color]
[color="DarkGreen"]Now that's taking things a bit far! [/color]

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[size="4"][color="DarkRed"]Miners Refuse to Work after Death [/color][/size]
[color="DarkGreen"]No-good-for-nothing' lazy so-and-so's! [/color]

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[size="4"][color="DarkRed"]Juvenile Court to Try Shooting Defendant [/color][/size]
[color="DarkGreen"]See if that works any better than a fair trial! [/color]

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[color="DarkRed"][size="4"]War Dims Hope for Peace [/size][/color]
[color="DarkGreen"]I can see where it might have that effect! [/color]

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[size="4"][color="DarkRed"]If Strike Isn't Settled Quickly, It May Last Awhile [/color][/size]
[color="DarkGreen"]Ya think?! [/color]

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[color="DarkRed"][size="4"]Cold Wave Linked to Temperatures[/size][/color]
[color="DarkGreen"]Who would have thought![/color]

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[size="4"][color="DarkRed"]Enfield Couple Slain; Police Suspect Homicide [/color][/size]
[color="DarkGreen"]They may be on to something! [/color]

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[size="4"][color="DarkRed"]Red Tape Holds Up New Bridges [/color][/size]
[color="DarkGreen"]You mean there's something stronger than duct tape?[/color]

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[color="DarkRed"][size="4"]Man Struck By Lightning: Faces Battery Charge[/size][/color]
[color="DarkGreen"]He probably IS the battery charge! [/color]

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[color="DarkRed"][size="4"]New Study of Obesity Looks for Larger Test Group[/size][/color]
[color="DarkGreen"]Weren't they fat enough?![/color]

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[color="DarkRed"][size="4"]Astronaut Takes Blame for Gas in Spacecraft [/size][/color]
[color="DarkGreen"]That's what he gets for eating those beans![/color]

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[size="4"][color="DarkRed"]Kids Make Nutritious Snacks [/color][/size]
[color="DarkGreen"]Do they taste like chicken?[/color]

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[size="4"][color="DarkRed"]Local High School Dropouts Cut in Half [/color][/size]
[color="DarkGreen"]Chainsaw Massacre all over again![/color]

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[size="4"][color="DarkRed"]Hospitals are Sued by 7 Foot Doctors[/color][/size]
[color="DarkGreen"]Boy, are they tall! [/color]

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[color="DarkRed"][size="4"]And the winner is.....
Typhoon Rips Through Cemetery; Hundreds Dead[/size][/color]

[color="DarkGreen"]Did I read that right?[/color]

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